PAGE FOUR
EVERT WEEK.
BY AL FAIRBROTHER
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Entered as second-class matter at the Postoffice at Greens
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Address all business communications to Everything,
Greensboro, North Carolina.
"After years of active experience In newspaper worK,
and with newspaper men, I am more than ever convinced
that a newspaper cannot afford, any more than an indi
vidual, to be without character; and that as a man's
character is summed up from his" life, from the good he
has done, the evil he has prevented, the homes he has
brightened, and the hearts he has gladdened, just so
will the inexorable judgment of posterity, and of the
greater public, to which no passion nor prejudice of the
day can appeal, measure out merciless justice to the
journal whose sole object and aim it has been to coin the
woes of the human race into grist for its owner." John A.
Cockerill. . .
SATURDAY, APRIL 29, igi6.
The High Point Fire Works.
We take it that our readers have been read
ing the letters written by Messrs. Brockett
and Dalton. These two gentlemen are candi
dates for the legislature. Mr. Brockett has
ably represented Guilford in the legislature.
He also represented a part of High Point. He
was elected because he was popular in his
own city, and stood ace high with the people
of the county. He trimmed what is designat
ed "the other fellows" of High Point when
he put over his Commission Form of Govern
ment. In fact he went to Raleigh to put it
over. He had the blue prints with1 him, and
he carried out his plans and specifications.
Those who were for him claim he did good
work. Those on the other side claim that the
Commission is a mess.
Brockett always rung true on moral meas
ureshe was progressive, broad, liberal, and
unafraid. It was known that Guilford had a
live wire. It was understood that Brockett
dealt his cards face up and from the table. He
never had anything up his sleeve, and his
fingers were not waxed.
Brockett wants to go back to complete some
unfinished work. "The other fellows" in High
Point do not want him returned. Carter
Dalton has been chosen to oppose Brockett.
Hence the exchange of letters printed in this
paper from time to time. The "Committee"
advised Dalton not to meet Brockett the ex
cuse was that it wouldn't do for the demo
crats to eat each other alive. It is a pretty
pass when a Committee rules that the voters
cannot be informed that candidates are
forced to wear gum shoes and speak in whis
pers. The "Committee" should revise its
ru es. The people of Guilford county are en
titled to know all about their representatives
where they stand ; what they favor and in
these days of variegated politics; of bald
headed politics ; of side whisker politics of
smooth faced politics; of possible and impos
sible politics, it were well tjo have it under
stood that the "Committee" hasn't cut and
dried and hung its bacon in the smoke house,
Rocked the door and gone off feeling secure.
Mr. Dalton owes it to himself to meet
Iu Hc cannot afford to be side track
ed by a "Committee" which is acting under
rules suggested by a few politicians. Other
wise, Mr. Dalton, a bright and popular young
man, will meet his Waterloo instead of
Brockett.
, Certainly the boys of the state press have
been kind to us They just keep on handing
"s bouquets and if it keeps up we are goinf
Incr
, --
Do We Do Our Part?
The Salisbury Post prints this local item
and we find in at a subject for a few words:
There are a number of boys loafing about the streets
and getting into trouble and the court and officers are
endeavoring to break this up. These boys are first given
a chance and if they fail to take advantge of this the
court deals more harshly with them. There was much
weeping and pleading by two of these boys this morning
but all to no avail, the court's patience had been expended.
In Salisbury a boy is let loose on probation
for his first offence, and so it happens in this
town. But when a boy breaks to the bad
when he makes a mistake and gets where
nothing will save him from the disgrace of
stripes but the probation law men remem
ber this:
We all have a duty to perform. If we know
a boy is on the streets onv probation if we
know he is trying to make good, we snouia
help him. ' We should help him by kindly
words; by words of cheer. We should seek
him, even if he tries to avoid us, and talk
things over with him. Give him the assur
ance that he is not wholly lost. Do not talk
his tioubles to him; but inspire him; let him
understand that his error has been forgotten.
It is a terrible period in a young man's life.
He knows he did wrong. He knows the town
knew it. He fears he is spotted. He seeks se
clusion he carries a heavy burden. It is our
duty and should be our pleasure to help this
young man wherever we find him. Right now
and not hereafter is when he needs the word
of encouragement. If he seeks employment
he should be boosted. The fact that he went
astray should not be considered. We should
help him, not for his own sake alone, but to
prove to those interested in penal reform that
there is always yet some good in a man or boy
who has gone wrong. If it happens that at
any time you know of any boy on probation-
get busy to assist him. It will cost you noth
ing in dollars and cents only a little time,
and you may save to Society and his friends a
youth worth while.
It really looks to us that the law should be
changed and made to read that a bond would
suffice for appearance and thus save the youth
ful offender the humiliation of reporting each
month to the court. This is a serious defect
of the law. It isn't giving the idea a fair
chance.
To Oppose Kitchin.
Hon. Clingman W. Mitchell, of Windsor,
has entered the Congressional race to oppose
Hon. Claude Kitchin. His belief is that the
democratic party stands firmly by President
Wilson, and because Kitchin is big enough
and broad enough to think for himself and
stand pat because his own reason tells him to,
Mitchell thinks he might defeat Claude.
But it will not happen in the Second dis
trict. Claude Kitchin has made good he has
shown himself to be the kind of a representa
tive the people want. He has refused to
sacrifice his principles and his views and
North Carolina is with Kitchin two to one.
If Mr. Mitchell dreams that North Carolina
voters will be satisfied with a candidate who
..pidcucaiiy announces nimselt as a Me Too,
he will find that the money his defeat costs
him would have served a better purpose had
he tossed it into the tambourine of the Sal
vation Army.
o
High Handed.
The game now being played by the politi
cians of the democratic party is not going to
create much enthusiasm. The move that put
Judge Carter out of the running is not yet
to a stand still. Other candidates are being
advised to get out of the way the Machine
is in action and it has a-: steam roller attach
ment. We do not apprehend a collapse this fall
1916 may get into the open but the tactics
now employed the tactics of a Machine des
perate and destructive, will do the party no
good, and they will rend it asunder if the
brake is not applied.
Thcre is to be a primary, and the hope is
that free men men who do not want to
stand for slates and combinations will go to
the polls on Drimarv rlav nrl o,,r.,. ....
, , J J ovvdi veiy
bloomin candidate who hastened into the
frame up. k
Ordinary intelligence will guide the voter
he can see where the sign posts are he
can read the signals and understand.
Judge Carter had the nomination and the
Machine didn't want it that way.
:-: .. ; -O . .
Not A Jest.
The Winston Sentinel's telegraph man
plays up a box on the front page and heads
the story having to do with a live stock ex
hibition : "His Majesty, the Hog" and truly
that is deserved.
We are not the official organ for the hog or
the pig, but now and then we like to raise our
voice in defense of the porker that is so much
abused. We hear people say that a man "is
as dirtv as a mV" pnrl a hcr ;r ji
an unclean animal. He is, buY man makes
him so. The hog's environment and not his
nature renders him unclean. The fact of the
business is a hog is one of the most cleanly
animals. Gordon Cummins tells us the tig
eress in her native jungle is the most cleanly
of all animals, that she bathes three times a
day but a hog, if opportunity is given him,
observes sanitary rules and yearns for clean
bedding and clean surroundings. The wild
hog will insist upon his bath. When it comes
time to make a bed the mother hog will
gather carefully the cleanest straw and husks
and grass and man has made the hog- the
symbol of filth.
Man takes a hog and fastens him up in a
two by four pen feeds him and makes him
sleep in a place hardly big enough in which
to turn around. Whereas, if the hog had his
own way he would gather fresh clean bedding
and he would bathe only in sparkling pool?
Therefore we are glad to see the Sentinel re
fer to his Hogship as His Majesty. We
hopeno one will suspect we get money for
thisdefense and that it is understood no
politics is in it.
The man who forgot to pay his poll tax will
now have a good excuse for not voting.
Great Talent.
It takes the highest order of talent to line
up kale seed in the bank. Kale seed, beloved,
is the Sanscrit for Money. Just why we are
never satisfied with the words we have, and
are always borrowing or coining, we do not
know. Possibly it is to keep neologists busy
on the day shift in coining them, and lexico
graphers busy on the night shift defining
them.
But to the subject: It takes talent of a
high order to make great piles of money.
That's what we said in the first place, and
that's what we say in the second place. Tal
ent.
And it takes talent to paint a beautiful pic
ture. It takes talent to write to whip the
rhetoric into line; to frame up the ornate and
forceful sentences talent it takes to do
things out of the ordinary.
It takes talent of a high order to sing
vinely to trill the lines of Sweet Belle Ma
hone whom we have promised to meet at
heaven's gate and if you get the notes of
the nightingale or the mocking bird you have
done a stunt, and if enough of a stunt, you
are called a prima donna provided you are a
lady and the box office receipts bring the
kale seed.
And we go out and see the wonderful
painter portray his pictures on canvas
stand in awe before the mighty strokes of
the master hand of an Angelo or a white
washing committee of the Senate and we
lift our hat and do not attempt to paint any
thing like what we have seen. Why? Be
cause we know we haven't the talent.
And we hear the song bird warble her flute
like notes, and we pay four dollars for a dress
circle seat and we applaud and declare she
is ravishingly grand that she is indeed di
vine. And we go out into the dark world and
tread alone the thorn-strewn path no envy,
nothing against the gifted lady who held us
enthralled. But we don't try to sing.
And -then we look at Rockefeller or Carne
gie or James B. Duke or Thomas Ryan or
any of those wonderful jugglers those wiz
ards in the weary world of finance, and see
them with their millions.
And what do we do? We at once refuse to
admit that Talent is their gift we insist that
we should have as many millions as they,
and
We fight for them, we lie for them, we steal
for them we give our very life's blood for
them
Instead of recognizing the fact that our
talent in" that line is limited, and being satis
fied, happy and contented with what God Al
mighty handed us in the package given in by
the Waiting Angel the package which was
labelled "Talents."
What's That?
And now comes one Parker Anderson and
sends the news down this way by way of the
News that the Machine is going to side-track
Bickett and put its hoisting machine back of
Daughtridge. This may be more than specu
lation. It may be that "there is such a hen on.
Bickett never was of the conferences. He
was incidental and accidental in the politics of
North Carolina. Hc was a great Ashley
Home man and made a speech that captured
the Charlotte convention and it looked after
the Machine had trimmed Home that it ought
to do something to placate that faction, and
Rowan county's candidate for Attorney Gen
eral was given the double cross and Bickett
chosen for the place.
Bickett had not been conspicuous. His ora
tory at that time was in the condition of
Gray's gem of purest ray serene such as the
dark, unfathomcd caves of ocean bear
but it broke loose at midnight in Charlotte
and Bickett came to the front. He has been
in office, or will have been, eight years, and has
cut but little ice except as an orator at pub
lic gatherings. His ambition, we are told, is
to be a platform orator to chautauqua his
way to glory after political honor ceases. Hc
has never mixed much with politicians. He is
running for Governor just because it is a step
ping stone. Really he is the last man who
should ask for further recognition because hc
is not a man who is constructive and certain
ly he has rendered no distinguished service
to the state. He has not been conspicuous in
making our history; he has been a plain, plod
ding, clean, upright citizen and would per
haps have never dreamed of being Governor
had not the accident of politics placed him in
public life. Never having been considered a
politician, naturally the machine would not
want to stand around and see another Ma
chine assembled and Bickett's elevation to
hrst place would mean just that.
Daughtridge is a farmer and a man long
identified with public men, and the Machine,
perhaps understands, it would be better to
have him, than to take the chances on a new
political house. Therefore the Washington
news may be authentic.
Well, Now.
And so Colonel Bill Ragan, of High Point,
is going to run for the legislature. High Point
is foxy. She understands that the political
fight between Dalton and Brockett will mean
dissension perhaps votes for some other can
didate, and Bill Ragan, a first-class citizen,
will undertake to smooth the troubled waters
by asking people to vote for him. The repub
licans had slated Ragan for the Senate but
when they saw a chance to pick up some dis
gruntled onps no matter which wins in the
Dalton-Brockett campaign they hand Col
onel Ragan the basket and tell him to go to it
And without violating any confidence we
predict that the returns from High Point will
remain in the doubtful column until the ballot
box is sealed and set away.
-o
The Hope.
aAh t-T l etteville, who
have a trood I VI Stte . Senate, trust that he will
Observe?. P f them Ia the wa ot tes.-News and
And if elected that he will not feel them.
Wewill not tell, in ragged rhyme, the way
we think we feel. We'd rather run to good
old prose just red hot from the reel
High Cost Of Running.
Herbert McClammy, of Wilmington, a
member of the local bar, thought for a while
that he would go to Congress that he would
offer his services to a free and patriotic peo
ple; that he would quit the practice of law and
for the measly stipend of $7,500 per year go
to Washington and represent those people in
the halls of Congress. Just why a man who
goes to Congress always wants to represent
people in the "halls" we do not know. Looks
like there should be a room for the purpose.
But after the Wilmington lawyer figured out
the cost and found that instead of landing the
job or making the race for the nomination, it
would cost some six thousand dollars instead
of the one thousand on which he. figured, he
abandoned the chase for national fame and
concluded to continue representing himself
instead of the people.
Wise man is McClammy. But it should be
remembered that the politicians were the ones
who framed the primary law. It was espe
cially idesigned to keep people out of the race;
to not encourage men with means to run for
office but was framed to make it possible
only for practical politicians to get in. There
is little hope these days for the "common
citizen." If already in, and no opposition ap
pears, the cost is nominal. But if the expense
of a double primary is to be borne good bye,
hopes, dreams and ambitions.
Yet we must stand for these things. We
stand tor adulterated everything from food
stuffs to clothing; from literature to whisker
paint. The old days arc gone. It is no longer
possible for a man of moderate means to run
even for the legislature if opposition de
velops. Talk: about popular representative
government might just as well talk about
finding an original joke in an almanac. Law
yer McClammy is to be congratulated upon
seeing the light before he got too deep in the
quagmire.
A Chicago Judge.
It is announced that Judge Richard Tuthill,
a Chicago judge, has judicially held that
Francis Bacon wrote the works generally at
tributed to Shakespeare. This is refreshing,
inspiring but not convincing. Some thirty
years ago Ignatiust Donnelly, of Minnesota,
the gentleman who proved by his "Ragna
rock" that Chicago was burned because a
comet trailed its tail in Cook county, brought
out his famous Cryptogram and by cipher
proved what the Chicago judge has just as
serted. Donnelly's Cryptogram was a book
larger than Webster's Unabridged Dictionary,
and showed wonderful research and much
pains-taking labor. The critics chewed it up.
11 proved noining only to those who were
willing to discredit Shakespeare.
Before that thcre had been those to attempt
to prove somebody else the author of the
transcendently beautiful embodiments of ex
cellence, the most exquisite creations in all
literature sentiment and thought ideas and
ideals philosophic comprehensiveness and
creative comprehensiveness that made Bacon
look like thirty cents. No other man ever
exhibited what Shakespeare exhibited along
the line of facts, laws, analogies. His percep
tions were more vital, his insight more crea
tive in one single play than all that Bacon
wrote in his many volumes. Vagabond he
might have been. Unlettered it may be yet
he had none of Bacon's moral defects he was
Nature's artist and saw beyond the horizon
that has obscured the view "of all other men.
Blind Tom was a prodigy there have been
others and Shakespeare the master of them
all. Whether divine or not to attempt to
account for what this most wonderful of all
writers has put on paper would be like some
unlettered man attempting to decipher the
crude hieroglypics if the first Chaldean child
that ever attempted to carve on stone the sad
story of his life because, like the peace of
God. it passeth understanding.
When Donnelly gave the world his sup
posedly convincing work, Charles A. Dana,
employing the same ciphers and the same
mode of reasoning, proved conclusively by the
works of Shakespeare that Donnelly was an
ass. And so perhaps is the learned Chicago
judge who has officially given Bacon honors
which hc did not earn.
Envious.
The bald-headed and smooth faced para
graphcr of the Wilmington Star thus explains
why hc laid aside his whiskers:
Fashion notes for men mention that whiskers are jrointr
. be in style again. Maybe so. but men who have bad
heir whiskers pulled in times gone by don't propose
to wear any more whiskers so long as thev t-au get
shave for 15 cents. " fcilp a
We had always understood that the crusade
against the Whiskers was because it furn
ished, if worn in bunches, a roosting place
for the Doodle Bug. Theoretically the Doodle
Bug collected on the Whisker and subsequent
ly explored the lungs and thus aided and
abetted in encouraging the ravages of the so
called Great White Plague. Therefore it was
tacitly understood between men who want
ed to aid in exterminating the Doodle Bug
lt li "';"f.we11 to Pass along the thought
that the YY hisker was not conducive to happi
ness; that it hid the diamond stick pin; that
as Age came along it cost money to paint it
that often it was forgotten with the comb'
and a smooth face was a sort of a civic pro
position in the same category as the one that
admonishes us not to spit on the sidewalk
However, last winter while in Arizona we
experimented with trained Doodle Bugs 'and
found that they seek a hiding place. The
germ theory is that a man spits up a lung on
the sidewalk; that the passing vehicles grind
up this lung and mix it with the dust, and
the dust is germ laden. It being light the
wind brings it up in the air and man inhales
it. The Whisker stoos the jrerm ;
tempts to hide in the mouth, and seeing that a
dense growth of Whisker is a good roosting
place the germ abides there forever. There
fore, beloved twinkler of the coast, don't you
see the risk you run in putting up your fifteen
cents? Better wear 'em.
If you didnt get your new Easter bonnet
this Easter wait until next Easter. Really,
the styles will be more attractive then.
GREENSBORO, N. c.
Gilliam Grissom,
Gilliam Grissom has been nominated fr
Congress, and he is now in the running
Fifth district has something like thretTihrV
sand, perhaps almost four thousand tnaj,jrjt
for the democrats, and with Major Stolm
in the field we confidently predict that Oi?
som will be defeated by at least the rual
majority.
Grissom is a good man. An ardent rcubl'
can one who will sacrifice all his time an.iaj
his money for the success of his party, 'j
campaign will be clean and the voters .f tfcc
Fifth will vote about as usual. With all kind
of family fights; with democrats out with Their
scalping knife for Books; with a hou-e divid
ed against itself, this district gave M..r.hcai
two hundred less votes than it gave "fait
Morehead was elected by something Hk
hundred majority. In this election demo
cracy is not divided. Major Stedman h;. no
enemies in the district save perhaps a fcw
disappointed office seekers, and their iv.i;r,Vr
will not exceed ten. Democracy will raiiv to
Stedman and vote for him to a man. Grion
will get his full party vote, but that is abr.ut
all. Taft made the best run ever made in ihe
district and six hundred was his maiontv
Stedman is as good as elected, and Mr. CrfJ
som will not ride into Washington on thjj
load of poles.
The more politicians see of it, those not in
itiated, the more they say the primary law we
have now is a farce.
At Random.
WAS OVERTAKEN'.
There was a man in our town
And he was wondrous wise:
lie said he thought it was a sin
To swat the pretty flies.
And so they took this wise old man
And hung him in the air
And sent and pot a wrecking crane
And swatted him for fair!
The rabbit that laid the Easter egg explained, of course
about the dye situation in Europe.
SELF EVIDENT.
It Is a self evident fact that some of the chickens which
po visiting and undertake to scratch up the neighl.nr-s
parden. do not belong to the t'nion. If they do ther
are petting in lots of overtime.
o-
The LAST MAN.
There are many mysteries in this world of woe, but one
of the thinps that we never could- understand was hw.
In a preat factory where hundreds of pairs were turned
out daily, the fellow who did the sorting and selected the
"mates." always knew which shoe had the p.iper hot
torn, so that it might match np with the one "warranted,
to wear." Verily there are tricks in ail trades, even that
of the last man.
a
WHAT WorLD HAPPEN.
Were I to sing the Old Soups that in other years I sung
The report would go by wire that Tom Random man was
hunp.
HARD TO DIG UP.
These thonphts are set in smallest type
Itecanse they're thonphts superb and ra
x ney io not come right off the reel
But come with fastinp and with prayer.
- o
MIDNIGHT ETHICS.
People- who rob dentists' offices at nipbt should observe
the rules of the profession. If you enter a dentist's o'-
fi-e to steal his pold and find a bridpe which has been
left for repair, do not take it with you. It causes trou
ble. At least that is what Colonel Jim Mann savs who
had left a bridpe at the office of Dr. Betts and tlie
prowler took it along.
ADVICE IS CHEAP.
When a fellow nndertakes to do something there are
a great many well intentioned men who come to him ami
tell him what to do. We have opened a book since Mfc
inp over the Record and find that advice has been
proffered, unsolicited, nine thousand, three hundred and
twenty times. It is a wonderful lot of advice. It runs in
all channels and covers all subjects. We shall compile"
it in a few daysv arrange it alphabetical! v. and publish
it under the title "How to Run a Newspaper." It als.
contains information about Putting The I 'at Out At
Nights, and How to Miss Spitting On The Stove. Agents
wanted. Lilteral commissions and large territorv. Gen
eral Oarranza writes us as follows: "Your new book en
titled How to Run a Newspaper will doubtless I the
Stnph. Please send a copy to Francisco Villa and one
to I-elix I) la. You also might write one How to Run An
Army. Other assurances of success are at the telegraph
office held for charges.
SOLVED.
In the world's broad field of battle
On the dreary walk of life
If you'd hear the money rattle
Make a banker of your wife!
Ql'ERY NUMBER ONE.
If Colonel Charley McKnight goes fishing and cat-lics
three fish two catfish and one bass, is Charley McKnight
a sport or a sportsman?
QUERY NUMBER TWO.
If W. G. Balsley goes fishing and rides in a boat :iU
afternoon and his boatsman flnallv catches one small ba-s
and W. G. claims it is Mr. Balsiey a fisherman or a joy
rider? QUERY NUMBER THREE.
If Deacon Allen goes to Hamburg in Zeb Con vers' in
car Is the Deacon a guest or is Zeb his chaiiflreur?
AN ORDER FOR SPRING.
In cleaning the carpet and shaking the rug
Down in this fair land of the South
You d iK-tter look out or a big Doodle Bug
May hike for your lung through your mouth.
planted!
And so out in Nebraska
Where prairie dogs do play,
They wrapped up Billy Bryan
And laid the corpse away.
This based upon telegraphic information that W. J
was defeated for delegate-at-large. They say that "hi
Brother Charley who insisted upon running for Mayor Iiad
much to do with it that it commenced to look like a
family affair. But we are yet a strong admirer of William
J. Bryan. A bigger man or a cleaner man never stood f r
twenty-five years lfore the American people. He may be
planted; he may Ik? a dead one but he will come again.
He is invincible.
IN TOWN.
R. Don Laws, erstwhile editor of the Yellow Jacket, but
now owner and edtior of the Rascal Whipper. was In town
this week and of course called at this newly acn.uirt.1
pold plated sanctum to wish us well. Mr. Laws was re
turning from Washington where he went to look over tlie
situation." He tells us that his new paper, the Ras--:
Shipper, is rapidly gaining circulation. It is of courM
a red hot republican sheet printed on asbestos and meet
ing all other requirements of the insurance laws.
"-
BE WARY.
When a Bald Headed Barber tries to sell you a Hai
Tonic that will sprout hair on a billiard ball, ask him,
pently. why he doesn't use a little of It himself. If
tells you that he wears his head without hair expressly
to show you what you are coming to that he suffers
as a Horrible Example as the Gypsy told the gentle
maiden "heed him not."