t
V
7 fHmd
Ullff!
VOL. V.
MONROE, N. C, FKIDAY, JULY 22, 1881.
NO. 30.
I .
Eke
3
2
Professional aad Other Card.
D. A. CTIWOIi.
H. B. Adams.
m v aV P TS-
iLttomoyo at Law,
Will practice in tbs P-; SopeHor
.v,ra5 tb. BUte. and In the Circuit DJ
DUirteta Co.rU ot tbe United B M- "
?ir!y Mee.leubsrg, Cirrus Stan-
and iWoutery courts Id tfie Shut DU
trlrt md Imoi. Richmond aud Moore eoorU
.o Ibe Fourth DlCrtct. ,ii-tine
j. MoKnetof estates and collection
a sSattvatrsfactorv
wir Annth of AAUcrmit 8 Inig
iriUVV HIV
Store.
j. f. pt " iJ"
PAYNE & V ANN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
B92TBOB, V. 0.
Wni practlc In tue 8"Prlor ud fl luprem.
Courtiof tbs state. . .5 In the C "d
District Court, of the United 8 J"1
rerultrly attend tbe f aPrior.Cou " RVck
kn. MtiklenbuiK, 8UI Anon nd Klcb
"itontlon paid to tbe collection
ol claim and aelUemenl ol eUt.
OrBce next to A H Croweiri reeldeuce.
MONBOK. N. C.
Pro-apt attention given to all business en
trutted U their care.
jaf-Collection ol claim soliciUsd.
OOlce nvcrtlK? Feolc B"k
JaoTT. Patrick,
A9VB1TXIXKO &OBMT,
"Wades bo ro, N. C.
Jitf-Special Ageut for The Monroe
EXFKKKS.-tdl
W C. Kamsat, M. D. T. A. Ckuwell. M. D
Drs Ramsay & Crowel
OVFEH THEIrt PROFESSIONAL SER
VICES !o the cltien ol Mourue and vi
cinity. OrriCKMU oo below Asuckakt'h Uni'o
Stouk.
Hit CKOWELL U a icradu ite ol J. tfcixin
Colli de, Plilludrluliia, Penu., aud alm u jjrad
ute ol the Medical I), imrtineni ol lUrvmd
tJnlvritv, Boston, Man, lit- !- nt two
y.ia i In the po;t urdu;ite couic at ll;ir;nd
and ban had live eaT irarticl evn-il
H. M. B.OBINS0N,
Fashionable Tailor,
Oftr Thomas ft aadfearn'i' 8tore.
MONROE 1ST C.
NVw work maoV to order. Cutting, Cleun
.iii;. Ue.nhlnif nd Alt-i knir done at short uo-
I'atroiiac aoltclt'll, and atUHte( Ion
t;uraiilcvd
TaATwroK . STSPHSirsozr,
DENTISTS,
MONROE, N. C,
Olfer tbelr projesstona verv.oe to tliu public.
auJ guarantee sutls'uclion In all their woik.
E ther member ol the ttrin will attend patient
In the cuuntrv when de-lred.
OtMce In Stewart Brick Building, over
BILL HEADS,
LKTTER IIRADS, MOTR IIKADS,
Curd, Circulars ! Poatnt.
la Juat In receipt n line ot
1TBW TITE
Ftecially suitable for tbe above kinds ol
Printing.
JOB WORKol all kinds exerut-d prompt lj
aud cbeaply anJ nlire Stttisfat tion ifuarantecd.
Ordertotollcited, and liauiedlate attention
protulaetl.
Tli8 Carpenter Organ Action.
ATTENTION TONE CRITICS I
In all the essential Qualities of the Reed Orgma, tba
Actaon u unnralicd. Hcnoe. m purity and sweetness of
tone, mi volume, variety, and in titc grnrrl brilliancy of
tbe UBMcdflct, ttes- Oraas art Wryond ail cnapcu
wn. Aooriacry.intirst MaitkmA always awarded
Ihrai by judges at ercry etwhit and the highest cnooni
J bestuved buoq tbeas by caaincnt sausicians in
ly- Thouih their tiMreroachabk exceUeaci au
twen iwogruacd by tb tend fur yean, it is only recently
Uui 1 luvc been able, s consequence of the treat ia-
ol my mMuUKtunng- facilities, to cosaphr wuk
ur;cin ocauM am oner the
CARPENTER ORGAN
To the jeacnj public
.JIMl. tar l,at MuwJacittran ms! Doal
rs ualnc Us CWpsitM- Or-u artlrm
ATr"' wnnttl m rtTy part of the Cotmtry.
t "woo1 r,JJU11 tJLUt " rac noM omlt fuXM
Hrint (or easy paTtaenta oklt
E. P. CABPNTER.
'ATHX'8 rim
ijl Spark.Arrestiac Fagmai frosB X to 11
v1w. aouBted ur Hamovated. Best and
rtUC lOt.pw3rd. Send for
ajMOgw; II for taibrmauoa aad pries ta
s
Box ha rjLxnwt sons,
ConiiBC, if.
m
RHEUMATISM,
Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago,
Backache, Soreness of the Chest,
Gout, Quins, Sore Throat, Swell
ings and Sprains, Burns and
Scalds, Genera Bod7
Pains,
Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted
Feet and Ears, and all other
Pains and Aches.
So Preparation on earth equals Sr. Jacobs Oil
as a aafrf turr, simple and cAevtjs External
Remedy. A trial entails but tbe comparatively
trifling outlay of 60 Ceats, and every one suffer
ing with pain can have cheap and pod tire proof
of Ha claims.
Directions In Eleven Iavngmgee.
BOLD BT ALL DBU0GI8T8 kTD DEALERS
IH MEDICIHE.
A. VOGEIaER fc CO.,
Baltimore, Md., 17. M. jL.
JIST OFFER
Nliicli Everybody
Should Accept.
We will send Tjik Kxt'HKss from
now till January 1st, 1883. and tlir v
in a wpy of tliat valuable Book,
1 .tatia on the Borse and Sis Dism,"
Uy Jr. H. J. Kemlall, of Vermont,
,ttlnii nn Invlexof IlreHHeH,"
wliidi gives the iSyniptoms, Cause,
and the Bent Treatment of Each ; A
I able ivint; all the Piinci al DruM
ned for the Horse, with the Oruina
ry De, KfFeeUHud Antidote when a
Poison; A JtUle witlt :in Kiir avinj
of the Hortte's Teeth ut different
a?Hs. with UuU for telling the age of
the llnrse; A Valuable colleetion of
Keceiptx, and inucli other Valuable
Iiiforinatiuii,
To Everybody Who Owns a
Horse,
FOR ONLY $2.00.
toT Old Subscribers who pay up
their tmek dues and for another year
in advance, will also be given a copy
of the book.
Tell your neighbor about tbUoffer.
The Book iUelf is wU worth 5') cts.
TAKT1 2TOTZCI&.
I will sell at Pi blic Auction, to the
blghest bloder, FOR CASH, at the Court
rouse do4r lu Monroe. N. C, on tbe 1st da
ol August, 1881, the toilowln property, vi
A Tnsct ot Laud lyinc iu Union Count
on me waters ot 1 wi-ive iMile Creek
jolniDK tbe lauds of Eli Hembr, E S. Hani -
ut a and others, containing One Hundnd
and Seventy Acres, more or le. Levied In
as the property ol James R. Stephbnso
sntlsiy an execution in lavor ot A. P. aid
M. A. Hu! and others akruinst James
Stephenson. A J. PRICE.
Sherifl Union Count
July the 2d.
I. II Blaik. M. D. S. S. Welsh, M. D.
Medica ITotice.
VFFER THEIR PROFESSIONAL SEI
7 VIC1CS to tbe citizens of Monroe ar
urrouudiuK country, xx the Practice
Medicine. Snnrerv and Obstetrics.
In difficult aud sertons cases tbey will a
bey will a fl-
rKe"
ATE.
USE; Mom-
woo wrctuer wudoui extra charge
OUR FEKS ARE M0DER
Orrtci Opposite Cocbt Hot
SOS, u.
Zonsi SiW; Eg. SctaL
Amberat C. H . Va. Highest jjrde. Select
Limited. Preparatory to the University ol
VirjcinU. oeasioo begtua Sept. 8tu, 1881.
For circulars apply to
H. A. 8TRODK, Principal.
WILMINGTON, S. C.
Large Sample Rooms fou Com
mercial Travelers.
THE PROPRIETOR having thoroughly
renovated ibis House and iurniaheu it
suirely now, W prepared to give to tbe trav
eling public all the conveniences ol a FIRST
CLASS HOTEL. It is located in tbe very
centre ol tbe business part ot tbe city, being
convenient to the priucipal business bousca.
Post-office, Cutom House, City Hall and
Coa.-t House,
A First-Clas Bar and Billiard Saloon cou
nected with this HoteL
RATES, 2 PER DAY.
F. A. 8CHUTTE,
Dee. 10-t f Proprietor.
FOR THE KEsT AND CHEAPEST
Tories
Cau on or untc lu
W. J. BOY UN.
A FEW OF MY REASONS FOR BE
ING A PKOHIBITIOJnST.
To the Citizens of Union. County :
As I have been informed that I
have been greatly misrepresented
as to the position I have taken on
the great question of prohibition now
agitating our whole State, I take this
method of informing my friends of a
few of the many reasons I hare for
the position I have taken in favor of
prohibition.
1st. Iam opposed to the liquor
traffic because there is no one factor
in all the range of political economy
so burdensome or destructive of
wealth as the liquor trade. Dr. Ed
ward Young, Chief of the Bureau of
Statistics, at Washington, in 1867,
estimated the cost of liquor to the
consumers of the nation to be about
six huuderd million dollars. Again,
Dr. Hargrave's calculation (Wasted
Kesources, page 48), makes the cot
in 1872, seven hundred million
thirty thousand and forty-eight dol
lars. Adding the consequential to
the direct cost, the annual drain is
about one billion five hundred million
dollars. Now, if the gain from 1867
to 1872 be just what these figures
show, what can be the amount now ?
If all this capital is so misspent, fill
ing our jails with criminals, our poor
houses with paupers, our asylums,
orphan homes and charities with de
pendents, and our sober citizens bur
dened with taxes, that would not be
needed but for this waste of money
caused by liquor, I ask, what people
or nation can long exist and prosper
who waste or expend so much of
their labor for poisonous drinks which
dethrone reason and produce insani
ty? 2d. I am opposed to the liquor
traffic, because of its evil efTects upon
the morals of our nation. When we
behold the murder, theft, gambling,
blasphemy, Sabbath breaking, caus
ed by its us 5 when we see the tears
of heart broken mothers, wives and
children ; their distress, poverty and
degregation ; and our young men,
the hope of our counUy, who have
been ensnared by the giant evil, and
chained down the perpetual devotees
at the shrine of intemperance, and in
them the hopes of loving and doting
parents blasted forever; and the
flowers of blight anticipation, that
bloomed so brightly once in the bo
som of all who loved and admired
them, destroyed hy the fumes of in
temperance, who can remain unmov
ed? Who cau forbear to act?
3d. I am opposed to the traffic
because it destroys the spirit and
genius of civilized society. This is
apparent at once, if we reverse the
present use or custom. The father
is the head and teacher of the fami-
Uy in civilized life. Now, let the use
w- ..
of liquor be reversed. v no art:
at present? Ans. I he father, tl
teacher and guide of the family
Now, let the wife take his place.
Let her drink as he drinks ; let her
spend the earnings of all the family
as he spends them for liquor. Again,
let our ladies take the place of the
gentlemen in the liquor business,
and if it is right and honorable, why
not? thei what would we see?
Why, a state of things intolerable
and insufferable. Our wives and
daughters, mothers and sisters
drinking, carousing, gambling an
nglitl
endu
V r
HOU
fighting, who could or would Ion
re such a state of societ
ould not every man aoreeataat
cizilization was destroyed? Then I
ask, is it not equally destroyed by
the father, husband and son? And
why impose on helpless women and
children, that which we could not
and would not endure ? Now I ask
you, as honest men, if you were in
the place of our helpless mothers,
wives and children, would you not
hail with delight as just and equita
ble, any act of the Legislature that
would arrest the evil and restore civ
ilization ? Finally, as there has leeu
on the part of the Anti-Prohibitionists,
an effort made to show that the
recent act of the Legislature relative
to liquor is unconstitutional, in that,
as they say, the Legislature passed
the act without knowing the wish of
the people, and thus by them the
Legislature stands charged with out
raging our commonwealth, I now
submit, in defence of the act, a few
facts for vour consideration. First,
: every sensible man itiiows that the
; constitution of the United States and
every State in the Union, guaran
tees to their citizens, the right of pe
tition, whenever they mar be ag
grieved. This right not only be
longs to the voters, but to every citi
zen, male and female ; and as such
our citizens of the State to the num
ber of two hundred thousand or
more, knowing their rights, and in
the due exercise thereof, did peti
tion the Legislature in session, and
in accordance with that petition-the
body passed an act to be ratified or
rejected at the ballot box, by the
voters of the State giving them suf
ficient time for discussion and re
flection ; what more or less .could the
Legislature do, than to submit to the
people their act of relief for the pe
titioners, knowing that the people
have at the ballot box tbe sole and
exclusive right to regulate the gov
ernment and the policy thereof?
Hence, all men of sense know that
the constitution is but an act of the
people at the ballot box, through
their representatives, subject to be
changed or modified at any time the
people may see proper. Further
more, many of as able jurists as the
State affords, decide that the act is
constitutional ; and I have not heard
among jurists a single expression of
opinion to the contran-.
Again, I submit, that if we
grant that liquor is all that is claim
ed for it by its advocates an anti
dote for every poison, a remedy for
every disease, and if we were to dis
cover that parched corn was equally
the same, and equally the same in its
final results with our children when
administered delivering- them from
poison and curing all the diseases of
their bodies, but at the same tune
taking their senses away
making
them curse and abuse their parents
and one another, fighting, scratch
ing and killing each other, just as
whiskey does make men do, and the
legislature had passed a law against
the use of parched corn with the same
restriction as in this act, making it in
dictable and penal upon conviction
of its use only as a medicine, would
anv sane man on earth raise one ob
jection to such a law? Then how
weak to oppose the law against liq
uor; as none can denp its evil results.
Then granting that it is necessary as
a medicine, do we not need the
strong arm of the law to define its
use, and prevent its abuse? This
then, and only this, is what the act
of the Legislature does relative to
liquor.
In regard to the efficacy of Mie
present act I have only to say that
its opponents know and understand
its power, evinced hy their desperate
efforts to prevent its ratification by
the voters in August next ; as they
claim, the law will not remove the
liquor, why this great amount of
mone3r poured into our State from
other States against it? Why do they
work so hard against it? Now, the
law proposed is this : First, an in
demnified bond is required, securing
the State against all violation of the
law ; secondly, the vender is required
to take an oath, binding him to con
formity to the law. This was never
so before, and is as efficient as the
Legislature cau make a law. But
the opposers say that an oath is noth
ing. Well, then, nothing is true or
reliable but whiskey, and law is pow
erless to regulate society.
Now, in conclusion, I ask you,
mv friends, when you have read and
tudied this card, to nana it to your
mpanion, son or daughter to lay
waj' and keep as a witness against
e, if wrong. 1 make j-ou mis
reposition on the morning of the
lection before you go to cast your
allot, that you ask your Heavenly
Father, to direct you to so discharge
that responsible privilege, as to best
subserve your own and your coun
try's good, with a clear conscience
toward God and man, so that what
ever may occur from its use hereaf
ter, you can say, I did not by my
vote, help to do that.
Respectfully. &c,
C. AUSTIN.
is
IT THE DUTY OK CHURCH MEMBERS
TO VOTE KOR PROHIBITION?
The following article which was
published in the Charlotte Observer
of July 14th, is appended here with
the request that all church members
esjecially give it a careful reading :
The Church is believed by all who
believe in the holy Diety to be the
great and only power that shields
fallen man from wrong and fits him
for the happiness that is promised
the faithful after they have passed
that bourne whence none even re
turn, and to secure that happiness
what is required of those who enlist
under that bauner the banner of the
cross ?
Will simply connecting one's self
with the Church secure it. I think
not. We are commanded to let our
light so shine that others seeing our
good works will be constrained to
follow us.
We are told to avoid the very sem
blance of evil.
Do not all, when they connect
themselves with the Church, promise
not only their fellow Christians, bat
the grent God who rales the des
tinies of us all to do all in their pow
er to promote the spiritual good of
that Church 7
How many stop as tbey journey on
through life and think of that solemn
promise that ought to be sacred to
every child of God ? How many
ignore it entirely when their own
worldly lusts come in conflict with
Uie duty they owe to their Church,
their God and their fellow man?
And knowing tbe desperate effort
of the good people of this country to
inaugurate a great moral reform how
many of the professed followers of
the meek and lowly Jesus, will aid
in breaking down this most formida
ble barrier the Church has to sur
mount intemperance the crying
evil of our country at the present day
the evil that is growing on our
youth each year the fell destroyer
of domestic peace and happiness
this evil that every one will admit
causes nine-tenths of the misery,
crime and suffering in our land?
Are there any of you that will
stand idly by and see this great ban
ner of reform trail in the dust ? Or
will any of you aid iu bringing it
down? God forbid it.
Members of the Church, what do
3-ou think will be the impression you
will make on the minds of those who
have not yet entrusted their souls to
the moral guidance of the Church if
you cast your influence against this
great social and moral reform ?
Consider well that thing before
j'ou make up your mind to cast your
ballot next August with the class that
are working only for their own
aggrandizement ; who defy both the
laws of God and hamanity, and would
gladly trample the heart-broken
widow and her helpless children un
der foot.
Can you not hear tbe voice of om
nipotence in tones louder than the
inightj- thunders, "Woe unto him
that putteth the cup to his brother's
lips and maketii him drunken ?"
Can 3 0U aid in doing that ?
C;i.i ".J cast your Fallot with that
class who assembled in convention
at Raleigh, and who could not in
voke the divine blessings oi' God on
their deliberations ?
Can you cast your ballot with that
class that says, wc, the liquor men
of North Carolina in convention, do
arra3 ourselves against the ministers
of the gospel ; against the Christians
of the country ; against ever' thing
that tends to the moral and spiritual
welfare of our dear old State. We,
who intend to make money out of
you if the Church has to suffer, if
Christianity has to stop ; we care not
if it is wet with a wife's bitter tears,
if it is wrung from a loving mother's
heart, oril'it comes from the mouths
of starving children, we want money
and intend to have it.
Think a moment before you do
that. Hear the awful denunciations
that are hurled at the heads of that
class expressed by the poet:
'Whiskey dealer you may shut,
God will to yu judgment bring.
He will doom you for tnose crimes
You have done for paltry dimes.
In a world you will be fouud.
Far from hope and heavenly ground.
There you'll meet the drunkard
race,
And he will curse you to your face.
"1'wiw you bar men that did us rob,
That made our wives aud children
Bob,
'Twasyou, foul fiend, that hurled us
down,
Aud robbed uof a golden crown.
You took away our wealth and health
You did it too as if by stealth;
To whiskey you did useuslave
Aud brought us to a drunkard's
grave."
And now I ask you, will you cast
your influence with that class ?
Dear friends, if you do, let me
ask you for the sake of the Church,
for the sake of religion, for the sake
of morality, take your name from
the Church record. If 30a will
steep yourself in sin for the sake of
all that is good and holy save the
Church from the stain by withdraw
ing your name from its record, and
then standing out boldl' with its
enemies.
Were you called on to vote to es
tablish a bar room in the grove .be
side your Church, beside the mortal
dust of 3'our dear departed friends,
would you do it ? I don't think you
would. Whj- ? You would saj- it
would not be right If it is not
right to establish it there I ask you
in the name of humanity is it right
to establish it any where else ?
And now, dear friends, you on
whom the good of society depends,
you on whom the morality of oar
State depends, I ask you to ponder
well the subject ? If you have no
one to save from a drunkard's grave,
remember humanity calls on you.
Think of the anxious, almost heart
broken, mothers that arc calling on
you. Think of the young men of
our country who arc looking to
you .1 this great crisis, and when
Vou think of all that let me beg
you to go to the ballot box in Au
gust and cast yonr vote for this great
reformation and then when yon eome
to lay your head on your dying pit
low you will not have to retrospect
the past and say I knew my duty
and did it not.
Yours in Faith Hope and Charity,
Yocmg Mam.
Charlotte, N. C, July 11, 1881.
Hot Weataer Records la that Norta.
Toronto Globe.
Some of the facts shown in the re
ports of the Toronto Observatory are
astonishing. Spence's Bridge,British
Columbia, reports rear after year a
spring beginning in February, a de-
cidedl warm, spring-like March, a
hot summer, a pleasant fall, and a
very variable and extreme winter
In summer the mercury sometimns
ranges for days together up to 100
or 104 degrees in the shade. The
rainfall at this station is light Ham
ilton, Ontario, and several other On
tario station, show summers as long
and hot as those of Southern Europe.
Parts of New Foundland appear to
have autumns milder than the most
favored parts of Ontario, and winters
scarcely any colder than those of Es
sex. Fort McLeod, in the far North
west, shows a winter climate which
will not permit snow to lie on the
ground for more than a few days at
a time, and also a greater shade of
heat than has yet been recorded in ;
the Northern or Southern States east
of the Mississippi River 109 de
grees having been reached at the
Fort in 1877. But more surprising
still is the summer record of York
Factory, on Hidson Bay, in 1878.
June opened with genuine winter
weather, but within three days the
mercur- rose to 9G degrees in the
shade, and reached a daily average
ol 'Jii d ;gic ioi" six Wock iu suc
cession. On ten days the mercurj
was above 100 degrees, and ou one
day attained a height of 106 degrees,
vhich is the highest ou record at
Calcutta. The latu-fall during this
period was truly tropical, eleven inch
es falling iu June and fifteen in July.
This hot siell far surpassed in in
tensity the "hot wave" which pre
vailed witli such fatal results in St.
Louis during a ortion of the same
time. But, of course, it was truly
exceptional, as during some sum
mers the inercurj' rarely exceeds 80
degrees at York Factory. Kalmar,
Keewatin, records the lowest tem
perature yet known in the northwest
G8 degrees below zero, a degree of
cold which the narrators of arctic
explorations rarery mention.
A Danoekkous Bemedv. A Red
Bluff sportsman relates the following
story : "While out hunting a short
time since," said he, "I wa bitten
b- a rattlesnake on the back of the
hand, and having heard that if pow
der was burned on the bitten part it
would be an antidote to the poison,
I immediately poured a small quanti
ty' of powder on the bitten place,
struck a match and set fire to it ; the
result was that I- felt no inconven
ience and experienced no pain or
trouble whatever from the bite.'
The experiment is certainly worth
trying, only be careful and tion't
blow j ourself up.
There is a cheap, simple and effi
cient way to cure sores of any kind.
Take white oak bark, peel the out
side off, add water, and boil it down
until it is as black as ink. When
cool, add to a gallon of the bark
extract two ounces of alum. Wash
the affected part two or three times
a da3 until cured.
RCBBINU THB MlONIOHT OlL
In the Philadelphia Times of a re
cent date, we notice an Item referring
to the miraculously quick cure of a
prominent druggist of that eity, Mr.
J. M. Hlggius, Orruwutowu ltoad
and Morris street, who had an awful
at lack of rheumatism of the knee.
He applied Ht. Jacobs Oil at night
and next morning he was well and
iu his store as usual Troy, (X. Y.)
Moruiug Telegram and Whig.
Algiers possesses a river of verita
ble ink. Two streams, one starting
from a region where the soil is fer
ruginioos, the other from a peat
swamp, meet and form tbe river,
whose inky constituency is dne to
the mixing of the iron and tbe gallic
acid which the two tributary streams
respectively contain.
It is not always the meanest mam
in the world who is tke lichest
Tbe world is growing better, but
not tkat part of itwbkngoM by the
nes of Missouri Eight persona
are to be lunged there this inooth.
An exchange speaks of n new
taahion in gait for girls, but a stroll
sioag some of our streets in tne soft
summer twiEght will convince any
one that tbe bid gate naa a tenacious
grip on public favor.
A loan who was ftsbiag for Croat
in the 'i iouesU years ago, so the
story runs, caught: htsbook on a bag
of gold and brought it safely ts
shore. As be looked at the gold he
said: 44 Just ray luck; never could
catch any fish.' OU City Derrick.
If you want to get the reputation
of knowing a heap, do as Prof. Proc
tor does. He guesses what happen
ed three or four mill ion years ago,
and predicts what is to happen 15,
000,000 years hence. It is only a
tew years since he oonimeoed, and
now he can get credit at any gro
cery.
Dr. Beard says the Americana are
the most nervous people on earth be
cause they are the most highly civ
ilized and intellectual. Oh, well : if
that is what ails us, we shall no long
er complain; but there have been
times when we should have preferred
a liitle more nerve and less intellectu
ality.
Rev. Dr. Howard Crosby says
that the old version of the New Tes
tament has some 4 'little instdous ab
solcnces" running through it We
had noticed them, but said nothing
about it, taking it for granted that
the revisors would see them &nd
mash them on their theological
thumb nails.
The funniest man we ever knew
had refused sixteen excellent offers
to go to Europe as professional
mourner to the cmwm-d
He looked so frightfully dismal once
at a marriage that the minuter came
up and asked him if the corpse was
ready. Areto York ConmxerciaX Ad
vertiser. Little Charlie is sitting In the oar-
lor when Julia's bean enters. Wish
ing to make a friend of the stripling
he has come to regard as his future
brother in law, be talks to him
about toys and picture books and
Indians and finally asks him :
4 'Have you seen tbe comet V
44You bet," answered Charlie,
and Jule says it reminds her of
you."
"Of me 1 Come now, Charlie,
what else did she say T
" Nothing, only that it reminds
her of you because it is chiefly gas.
Shakspeavre uses more different
words than any other writer in the
English language. Writers on the
statistics of words Inform us that be
uses about 1 5,000 different words in
his plays and sonnets, while there Is
no other writer who uses so many as
10,000. Some few writers use as
many as 9,000 words but tbe great
majority of writers do not employ
more than 8,000. In conversation
only from 9,000 to 5,000 different
words are used.
A Fool ONCJC MoJaJS.drpor ten
years my wife was confined to her
bed witlt such a com plication ofail-
uieuu tnai bo ooctor cou la lll wast
wu thai insllstr or eura her. avnrl I
used up a small fortune in humbug
UufL Six months ago I saw aU.ti
nag wttn nop mnen ou it, ana 1
thought I would be a fool onee more.
. a 1 ,i s 1 1 - . I
1 ineu it vis MMMj son ptrrvw 10 um
wisdom. Two bottles eured her, she
I nnw bsm mS(ll avrul mtrmnm mm svnsr
man's wife, and it cost me only two
dollars. Such tolly pays H- W.. De
troit Mien. Free Press.
A rtuntlv vta'statfilai mwli4 nj rvtrt
taluing ail virtues of ealotnel
without any of tba injurtousj tender t-
eiesso justly dreaded by mankind.
rilm moos' Liver Regulator will be
found prompt to start the secret iotas
if the liver, and give a healthy too
ti the sntlrs avstem without sadi vsviLn
or say iujuriosjs sgscts. VVbeo asu J
as a cainartic, tl tu no wise auorders
tne system, uor ooes it proaue any
tiausea or sick stomach when about,
to purge. It is so mild in its action
as not to interfere with business or
pi
No truer lines were ever writen
than those of Horace Greeley : Fame
is a vapor ; popolarity an accident ;
riches take wings ; the only earthly
certainty is obftvion.
. ..