Newspapers / The Monroe Journal (Monroe, … / Jan. 4, 1916, edition 1 / Page 2
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OiKlSTMAS IKUVKH OXK WEF.k IX HIH.W.U.I.OW 1-1 u lie lioMier" Xe lrv Kail- t-J lo Omie Tlie Tin IVduler li course. a( Some lmmb n Henry ForU. (Dunk Bolts, RejtuUr Correspondent Christmas was delayed one week in Hog wallow this year on account of Miss Flutie Uehlur's new dress fail ing to get here on time. After having been completely over come by diaiiHintnient in love, fol lowing a general financial break down, Sidney Hocks went down to the creek with tlie intention of drow ning himself, but backed out of the notion on account ot the creek being so high. With the autumn departure of the jaybirds, frops. mosquitoes and katy dids, the public will enjoy a season of quietude, about the only unnec essary noise being the sinking of Miss Hosteller HiK-ks at the church every second Suml.t). lay before yesterday Dock Hock found a cow bell. With this good start he will likely go into the cattle business. Alias l eek put ou his ear muffs eariy this winter so that he cannot bear his wife call him when he starts to the post office. me rooi ai w e i-og nil. ra m Hensiep happened to be sitting di rectly under the leak and did not have to move, he being a Methodist. Sim Flinders has been showing an Iri.-h potato to several persons at the jtostoftice this week. This is the po tato Sim raised on his farm last year. The mail carrier is rapidly recov ering from his recent attack of small ox. and along with many scars beats the distinction of not having missed a day from his services for I'ncle Sam. As soon as it has been forgotten that the Mail Carrier had the small pox he can pass these scars off as some having been received during the Civil War. 1'oke Eazelcy has noticed that the kitchen floor at his home is sagging on one side considerably. At first he thought about having it uphols tered, but he decided to let it stay like it is, so that he won't have to proo his plate up on one side with a biscuit to keep .Ins molasses together when he eats. 1 read this mornin' in this week's Tiikville Tidings where a feller by the name of Henry Ford, from summers up above here, went to Europe and had a friendly talk with some of the big fellers." re marked the Tin Peddler of the Calf Ribs neighborhood. "Hit seems that since this feller Ford has made a passel of money, he's right popu lar with everybody. And whilst he talked with these men, he offered to put up a big pile of money in be half of peace or in other words to stop the war that's ragin' in the foreign country. I drive about the country a good deal and have learnt a lot about ever) thing, and I have made up my mind that money will1 tr iiiiiut uitt-ttiinir oi'iuml ! i'ti n awav mule and a o clone. And Kurd is rlcht when he think, that n.onev will sioi) the war. W'v. hit will ..,.1 nm.l ,,1,1-l.mK- in imnit hnn.nr no matter how mad they are. I'll bet my only hat that if some poison was to wall; out in the hnitli-ficid ntld say: Here fillers, slop yore foolishness a mini! and listen to me: I've got a proposition that will he money to jiu! Hack yander ln-yotul the lirin line 1 ve got w.igiti-loai's of money baled up. and if you will stop this fightin' and promise to go home where you belong, I'll give each one of you a nice suit of clothes and live dollars in cash.' Now don't you know ever' dinned one of them men would be only too glad to do that? J know good and well I would! ".Money will bring peace. It will bring it about under any circum stances at home or away from home in fact you don't have much peace to begin with until you do git - i i pnl. i some cnange in your iiui-nei. r.o An example, there'o Poke Kazley. He had trouble only yesterday at his. house, just because he had been ' promisin' his wife thirty-five cents all last year, but on account of the pannick had not been able to meet his obligation. Dut there ain't no i use to bring the women-folks Into this jrar talk, because there ain't nuvy of them that ever have any Vtienee with their husbands!" i SWAMP-ROOT SAVES KIDNEY SUFFERERS, You naturally feel secure when you know that Dr. Kilmer's Swamp- kooi. me Kieai kiuiiki, inn uu bladder remedy, is absolutely pure and contains no harmful or habit producing drugs. The same standard of purity, strength and excellence, prescribed by Dr. Kilmer many years ago, is n aintalned In every bottle of Swamp Root. Swamp-Root is scientifically com pounded from vegetable herbs. It s not a stimulant and Is taken in teaspoonful doses. It Is not recom mended for even-thing. According to verified testimony it Is nature's great neiper in renei.ii ami ...j., coming Kinney it, n aim uiunm. troubles If you suffer, don't delay another v r.n to vnur n purest druggist dav. Go to your nearest druggist now and get a bottle. All drug stores ell It in ttfo sizes fifty cents and one dollar. However. If you wish to try this great preparation send ten cents to T)r Kilmer & Co.. Binghamton. N. Y for a sample bottle. When writing be sure and mention the Monroe Semi-Weekly Journal. Charge Explained Boston Transcript. Judge What's your charge aginst versation at the restaurant, the wife the prisoner? . . discovered the cause of his abstrac- Complalnant Burglary. He stole tion to bo a beautiful girl dressed in $5 from me at the station. . black and seated ata nearby table. Judge But for burglary there Bays The Ladles Home Journal, must be a breaking. I "An attractive widow," observed Complainant Well, your honor, the wife, coolly, when he took the fie he broke me. "Yes, Indeed, a very attractive wld .. ow," agreed the husband, enthuslas- The fellow who la always looking tically. for something for nothing Is himself "Yes." sighed the wife, "I wish I an overgrown wad of nothing. were one." Cousin Sally )illirj (By Hamilton C. Jones.) Soene- A court of justice in South Carolina A beardless disciple of Theims arises, and thus adresses the court: "May is please your worship, and vou gentlemen of the Jury, since it has been nv fortune (good or bad. I will not say l to esercise myself in legal requisitions, it has never be- show that the state saved $4.500, Utn fallen lee lo be obliged to prosecute and that money judiciously distrib so dneful. so marked and malicious uted among the farmers is believed an assault: a more wilful, violent, and dangerous battery, and finally a more diabolic breach of the peace has seldom happened in a civilized country, and 1 dare say it has sel dom been your duty to pass upon so shocking to benevolent feelings as this which took place over at Cap tain Usee's in this coi'ity. Hut you will hear from the witnesses." The w it nesses being sworn, two or three were examined and deposed one said that he heard the noise and did not see the tight another that he see'd the row. but didn't know who struck first and a third that he was very drunk and couldn't say much about the j-kirmish. I.awver Chops.- I am very sorry. centlemen. to have wasted your time with the stupidiiv of the witnesses examined. It arises, gentlemen, alto- pt,(,1(.r f,.0ln Mi:i.m,rehn,ion on my part. Had I known, as l now oo. tnat 1 had a witness in attendance, who was well acquainted with the circum stances of the case, and who was able lo make himself clearly understood by ihe court and jury, I should not so long have trespassed on your time and patience. Come forward, Mr. Harris, and be sworn. So forward comes the witness, a own rations saves the money which fat. chutly old man. a leelle corned, the less provident one does not save, and took his oath with an air. j "H may be of some interst to ob- Chops. Harris, we wish you to serve our cotton crop this year by a tell us all about the riot that happen-, few counties. Robeson fell off 15. ed the othe day at Captain Hire's. 000 bales and Scotland and Wayne and as a good deal of time has al- 5.000 each. This falling off of the ready been wasted in circumlocution, crop was very largely due to the re we wish you to be compendious and duct ion of acreage which did our at the same time as explicit as pos- farmers a great deal of good." ible. Harris Kdzackly (giving the lawver a knowing wink and at the same time clearing his throat) Cap tain Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dillard. she come over to our house, and axed me if my wife she nioutn't go. I told Cousin Sally Dil liard that my wife was poorly, seeing as how she had the rheumatics in the hip. and the big swamp was in the road and the big swamp was up. for there had been a heap of rain here lately, but howsomever as it was she. Cousin Sally Dilliard. my wife she mout go. Well, Cousin Sally Dilliard then axed me if Mose he nioutn't go. 1 told Cousin Sally Diliard that Mose was the foreman of the crop, and the crop was smartly in the grass; but howsomever as it was. Cousin Sally Dilliard. Mose, he mout go C. In the name of common sense, Mr. Harris, what do you mean by this trigmarole? W. Capt. Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard she came over lo p,'r """if '"ul w,l ,me "' ."'' ' 'hejrioutn t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard -. Mop. Sir. If .VOU please we do not want to know any thing about your Cousin Sally Dilliard and your wife tell us about the light at Capt. Rice's. W. Well. I will. sir. that is if you will let me. C. Well, sir. go on. W. Well. Capt. Hire, he gin a treat, and Cousn Sally Dilliard, she come over to our house and axed me if my wife she nioutn't go C There It is again; witness please do stop. W. Well, sir. what do you want? C We want to know about the tight, and you must not proceed in this impertinent manner. Do you know anything about the matter be fore the court? W. To be sure I do. C. Well you go on and tell it, and nothing else. . wen, i. apt. luce ne gin a treat I C. This is intolerable. May it please the court, I move that this witness be committed for contempt; he seems to be trilling with the court, j Court. You are now before a court of Justice; unless you behave yourself in a more becoming manner, you will be sent to Jail; so begin and I tell what you know about the fight at Captain Rice's. I W. (alarmed I Well, gentlemen, 1 Capt. Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin 'sally Dilliard I C. I hope this witness may be entered into custody I Court (after deliberating) Mr. 'Attorney, the court Is of the opinion that we may save time by letting the witness go on in his own way. Fro reed Mr Harris, with your story. but stick to the point W. Yes, gentlemen; well, Cap tian Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard come over to our house, and axed me if my wife she mout go. I told Cousin Sally Dililard that my wife was poorly, being as how she had the rheumatics in the hip, and the big swamp was up; but howsomever, as It was she, Causln Sally Dilliard. she mout go. Well, Cousin Sally Dilliard then axed me if Mose he nioutn't go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard as how Mose, he was foreman of tne crop; and ,he crop smartly In the grass, but how somever as It was she. Cousin Sally Dilliard. Mose he mout go. And h we'nt' and th come to Jhe biR j .. t n swamp, and It was up as I wag tell ing you: but being as how there was a log across the big swamp, Cousin Sally Dilliard and Mose, like genteel folks, they walked the log, but my wire 'like a darned fool, h'isted her coats and waded right through and that's all I know about the fight. Putting It 'p to Father After several unsuccessful at tempts to draw her husband into con- STATK SAVED $I..HMi.m OX HEK FERTILIZER KILL At I .east Thai is the Way Commis sioner druham Figure Tendency on I'art of Tar Heel Toward 1- versilietl Cros. Kaleigh Dispatch. ISth. Commissioner W. A. Graham's Ac- ures on the fertilizer bill for North Carolina in this closing crop year to account partly for the "rural cash which .Major Graham passionately recommends as a substitute for "rural credits." "I do not believe the Clo.OOO tons of fertilizers used can be made to account for the losses in the crops Major draham said. "Our farmers did not plant the same acreage. It is true that the lint cotton yield for an acre in North Carolina in I'M was pounds ngainst for 1'iIj. but l!Ht was a great cotton y.ar and 1 1 5 just an average one To show this, in Texas where they do not use c:i'i ee-cial fertilizers in small degree the falling off on the acre was "a per cent. "That, you will see is much great- er than our loss on the acreage. Ours shows about 40 pounds. Kvcn al a hundred this would snow only i and the fertilizers will average more than an acre. It looks to me like a tendency towards diversified crops, a thing which our department has con tended for so many years. And I know that it Is doing good. More hog and hominy have been raised this year than ever and more money is in the fanners' pockets. And that is because the farmers who raise their The following is the Act requiring delinquent tax - payers In I'XIOX COI'XTV to pay an additional fee of fifty cents to the tax collector: Public Local Laws of North Carolina, Session 1913, Chapter MH. AS ACT TO FACILITATE THF. COL I.FCTIOX OF TAXES IX ROUE SON AMI OTHER COIXT1ES. The fieneral Assembly of Xonh Caro lina do enact : Section 1. That any and all per sons, limns or corporations in Robe son county who fail or neglect to pay their taxes on or before the first day of February of any year shall pay In addition to the regular tax a fee of titty cents, the said additional fee to be paid to the officer collecting said tax and retained by such officer as compensation for his services in col lecting delinquent taxes: Provided, that this act shall not apply to rural policemen in collecting delinquent taxes in Robeson county. Section 2. That this act shall ap ply only to the counties of Robeson, Uladen and UNION. Section 3. That this act shall be In full force and effect from and after the first day of March, one thousand, nine hundred and fifteen. Ratified this, the 6th day of March, A. D. 1915. T. L. CHOWKUj, Collector W. 0. LEMMOND, A t torney -at-La w. Offlcce In Law Building, old Library Room, Monroe, N. C. Will practice in all the State and Federal Courts. Will give special at tention to collection of claimi aoe aettlemen of estates by administra tor! and executori. VV. B. LOVE, Attorney at Law, Roomi 14 and 16, Law Building, MONROE, N. C. EXPERT PLUMBERS. Phone ui for estimates on all plumb ing Jobs. Lowest price and best workmanship. We repair all kind of machinery to first class manner. AUSTIN & CORRELL Phone 104. Dr. B. C. Redfearn, Dentist Office one door South of Bruner'i Store. Phone 232. Monroe, N. C At Marshrtlle on first and thlr Monday! of each month and at Mat thew! second and fourth Mondays. DR. a L. PAYNE, Physician and Surgeon, Monroe, N. C. Office In Poetofflce Building, oe tjion Drug Co. Office hour 11 V II a. m., 3 to 4, p. m. Rseldenc phone, 271-P S. B. BIVENS, DENTIST, RLVItSmiLLE, N. C. Office: Carolina Bank Building. W. B. HOUSTON, Surgeon Dentist Office np stalri, Fltigerald Bulldlnf Northwest of Court House, Monroe, N. C. Finl Peace Party Cost. . Concord Tribune. The total cost of the Ford peace expedition is estimated at $H.S50. Thia includes the entire expenses of the expedition up to the time of Mr. Ford's departure from Christiana, and the check for $:T0.000 he left behind to finance Ihe remainder of the expedition. It is stated by the New York World that the Ford plant can in less than three days pay Ibe expenses of Ihe entire peace junket. " Mr. Ford, it is stated, makes a profit of $100 on each car. It will, there fore, take 4.450 cars to pay Ihe bill. The daily output of cars is 1.800 a, day. The plant, it may be found by a little figuring, can pay for the ex-j pedition in S days. 3 hours. 46 min utes and 40 seconds. It would come , high to some of us, but not to Henry. Whenever You Need a General Tonic Take drove's The Ohl StauJard Grove's Tastelese chill Tonic is equally valuable as a General Tonic because it contains the wel 1 k nown ton !c propert ies of QL' I N I N E and IKON. It acts on the Liver, Drives out Malaria, Enriches the Blood and Builds np the Whole System. V) cents Hail Xever Been Ladies' Home Journal. "Are you married?" inquired the census man. "Oh. dear no." said the little lady, blushing, "I've never even been mar ried." For Sale APPLE TREES Early Harvest Horse Apple Wine Sap PEACH TREES Mayflower Elberta Matthews Beauty PEAK TREES Kieffer PECAX TREES SHADE TREES Maple Umbrella GRAPE IXES Concord Catawba Moor's Early All Other Kind of Trees nnd Vines nt Reasonable Prices Flitch's Cash Store Phone 269. X a X pq M ft ft ft X x :x: x X 1 X M M x ft X 0 X ft l!..x.x.a.x.ii.x.ii..a.x.i:.x..g.x..x..x.ixj Join the Army of Satisfied Customers, if you are not one already, and save money when you want House Furnishing Goods. We have the goods; you need there. Buy where you can get the best for your money; not the most. We can always prove what we say about our goods. We haver Bedroom Suits in all the woods, odd Dressers, Washstands, Beds, Mattresses, Springs; in fact, anything in the furniture line. Yours truly, T. P. DILLON. A Mighty Good SHOE The Great SAMPSON Shoe for Men $1.50 to $4.00. This is our star offering in Shoes. It cannot be beaten rnywhere. There are few places where k can even be equalled, certainly not in this town. A High Grade Shoe at Popular Prices. BargainCounter assortment Oxfords for Women and Children 50 cents. CO-OPERATIVE MERCANTILE CO. FORD THE UNIVERSAL CAR. A Ford on the road for every car of another make. More than 900,000 now in use everywhere. This could not be if the Ford car had not, and was not proving its superior ity every day, in all parts of the world. The sturdy, light weight, economical Ford car, useful to everybody, saving money for everybody at a price within reach of every body. Runabout $390 ; Touring Car $440 ; Town Car $640, f. o. b., Detroit. On sale at HENDERSON GARAGE & MACHINE CO., Agents, MONROE, N. C.
The Monroe Journal (Monroe, N.C.)
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Jan. 4, 1916, edition 1
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