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vol. in. . MORAVIAN FALLS, NORTH CAROLINA, FEBRUARY, 1913. NO. 12. -' Tell Me What the Poor Folks Do. I A SERMON ON GEO. WASflh courted by fire light in order tol HERE IS YOUR FORTUNE auxtcii tiic awiui view ui xici INGTON. Looky-here, I'm doggon tired Readin' all about the rich Where they go an what they wear, How they, murder-time, anVsich. Just to read that silly stuff Almost makes a-body spew: Say, Pm tired of millionaires Tell me what the poor folks do. Millionaire has been abroad, Millionaire has stayed at honte ; ' Nuther one has built a church With his picture in the dome. Millionaire in auto wreck Hit a stone as on he flew ; Say, I'm tired of millionaires Tell me "what the poor folks do. Boston lady makes a feast, Axes all the swells, of course; New York heiress weds a duke, An then sues him for divorce. In the papers every day That's the stuff we must pursue ; Aw, confound your millionaires! Tell me what the poor folks do. The Bray of a Taftite. Great golly-snor turns! I can't hardly expect you to believe it, 1 A. 1 1 A 11 dui i nave actually received a letter from a Taftite. He writes face. When the proper moment I have just graduated in Astro- There is supposed to be a law arrived he dropped on his knees logy and am ready to tell' (your . somewhere on the books making and began: fortune on short hotice.'llcaii teil it a hanging crime for any "Darling, there is something nearly as big a lie as the Gypsy editor to send out his February I" fortune-tellers, and when I get a ' t 1 . 1 " ' A V- . ' A ' 1 . ll ' ' I . . 1 -1 Jf T . 1 . A- issue without throwing a lew Ana just men ueorges oia iuue more practice i can Deat bokays at George Washington! weakness asserted itself, rte 'em. Just to introduce my work And so, in order to save my neck could not lie. If ever a man and to convince you of its high an4 J)e a law-abiding citizen, I wanted anything in this world, quality I will give you a sample will now proceed to give you a George wanted to lie just then, free of charge. little sermon on the boy that cut but there was nothing doing. If you were born anywhere be- down the cherry tree and never Visions of the old man's fine tween December and twelve told a lie., Jerseys, broad acres and fat o clock your horoscope would George Washington is the only horses rose up to prompt him, read like this : man mentioned in history who but without avail. Your Si gnificator in the eighth could not tell a lie. This peculiar-4 George swallowed once, shut house being textile to the double ity was a great disadvantage his eyes, clenched his fists, and transit of the devil's hind leg; to George. He discovered very told the truth! two degrees up and cross-Ways early in life that he was heavily "You pie-faced, pimpled to a three-cornered hole in , the handicapped in dealing with his squash, if you were a snow-ball sky; second house for a bee-line play-mates, all of whom were in hades I wouldn't give two through the ascending arch half good average American liars, cents a dozen for you. Your eyes Way up and back through Bill George made every effort to look like two bad eggs fryin' in Smith's tater patch, connecting overcome his failing, but he hog fat; your No. 11 nose was .with your grandaddy's funny- couldn't do it. put on crooked and looks like a bone two feet and nine inches George got more beating than red barn on a hill-side; the up- northwest of sundown. All of any other boy in the community, per and lower flapper on that which proves that you are either The others could lie out. of a hole in your face resemble the a man or a woman or some other "f Trm TlT M r 4-1-1 Irw mrr oirnin himself B W, Lain The B w difficulty, but George couldn't. main-sail of a square-rigged sort of beast; and that if you eridentely stands for Bilious Once, when George was a schooner, and your whole miser- don't die young you will live to a Windy. vounor man. he courted a verv able face is uglier than a spavin- good, old age. Aswellas I can make out from homely girYwhose daddy was ed hound pup with the mange. The wandering aspect of your 1 He thought he could put But your old dad's money looks Woggle Star indicates . that you hand hppa.n!A t Hnn't rn amni up with her looks for the sake of good to me! Will you be my will have a mouth; and that it singingr nrettv love-sones to ner money, wnen ne got reaay wiie.' may uc cccoa(ijr iw jfuu w cat Mister Taft. He tries to remark, to "dod the Question" he com- For some reason the girl re- in ord er to live. m m . ' U . -M. . .."I. ... in his poor, broken manner, that posed a very pretty little speech fused him, and thus lost a good Taurus climbing a rope ladder luirr .':i" that went something like this: chance to become tne Motner 01 into tne second story 01 your t tuo wnupuuu nu me .T . . -r 1. x , Hismnt.inn t.ha iofA Umt-A o uarnng, mere is sometnmg 1 ner uuuixy. . nuciC-WuuiD piwco . uit jru Republican party. He wants it must say to you to-night. I don't One time George, took a mule have a bone in your leg, and distinctly understood that all th know how to say it, but I must to town to swan. He met a tnat you may have some hair on your head, provided this awful information don't scare you bald-headed. good, clean, sensible folks didn't make the effort. Please don't get stranger who bantered him for a xyjt t kj uuo xaiu uail.V, UCU1USB nR J.J T7- 1 1 J . , 1 .t still hanging to it like a hun- on.enaea' -peari f0 trade, ana ueorge saia is "This here mule of mine can't see a flash of lightning nor hear it thunder. He's so old that his back teeth have whiskers on 'am TTo'c alwnvs VtPm tftO in- gry tick to a dead calf's bellv. Price mv s?ul hungers for you! .... . . . .V 1 -WT ft 11 1 wen, there's one thing certain our eyes are HKe sparKiing aew- if all the Standpatters who droDs: vour nose is chiseled still cling to the old party wreck after the model of the gods; your are of the same calibre as Mister i; aa Kihona WinH Tai J 4. xWvpi cxxu if it ain't a 'iune-sweetW of ries and sweeter than honey in fGrnal lazv work but he can party. the comb; our cheeks are more k;ck the soda out 0f a biscuit It stri fces me that Bilious Windy fair than the blush of wild roses, a , v. Tn I 1 j 1 S -r 1 -r . . lailVX UCVC1 WJ.xv vnv w v. is entirely 100 Dig ior a man, ancu uear nean. 1 want you ior my not auite biff enouffh for a horse, own. Will tou be mv -wife?" swaP even Wlin yuu' TT. r - 1 a At 1 . . I , I rm a J.T X. i- xieis just auouu tne ngnt size When he called on the girl that rne stranger muuguu vjeuigc ior a jackass. nierht he blew out tho pandle and was lvincr. and traded. Just about two weeks from now and we, the "great Amer ican people," will throw , off the old black, dirty garment of plu tocratic mis-rule and; then put it right kerdab baek : on again. Oh, golly ain't we wise buddies, though? Well, I should smile! Tell your neighbor about this.
The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, N.C.)
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Feb. 1, 1913, edition 1
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