VOL. V.
YOU OLD FOOL YOU.
You work in a shop for a dollar a
day,
You old fool you,
And then take "company scrip" tor
pay,
You old fool you.
The wolf comes howling around your
door,
And away you trot to the "company
store,"
And pay two prices, and maybe
more, 4
You old fool you.
- -'-?
Your boss has wealth in many lands,
You old fool you. .' ... -
While you have nothing but your
two hands,
You old fool you;
You work and work from day to day;
He sets the price and counts the!
pay,
And you ain't got a word to say,
You old fool you.
V
You skin some bark or dig some
roots,
You old fool you,
And then go sell them to the plutes,
You old fool you;
And yet you ain got sense enough
To stand your ground call their
bluff,
Ana set your own price on your
stuff,
You old fool you.
You fret and fume about your lot,
you old iooi you,
Anrd sigh for things you haven't ;got,
. .
You old fool you;
When there's a chance to make some
gains,
You miehtv Quick foreet vour
And vote to keen yourself in chains,
You old fool you.
-j'ames Larkin Pearson.
A woman can take a feather and
wear it on one side of her hat
ne day, and on the other side
another day, on the the front of
her hat another dav and on the
" '
back another day; She can wear
it curled around the rim, under
the rim, across the crown, or
straight up in the air and it
looks just as natural as pig
tracks. But if a man happens to
"k; i, 'ii , 1 -i , vu v,, ux- uixkx lucic wujjl i uc vivjj. k iaiiuw u.u. kjl course not.
put his hat on with the back part beyond his capacity to digest, any more danger of , swallowing Who but a fool would have ex
m iront he looks like a durn fool, and never yet Ms he taken into a headache tablet by mistake. pected it to?
MORAVIAN FALLS, NORTH
TWO OF A KIND.
Some of the Stuffing From A
Stuffed Club.
A very punctilious lady friend
of mine says that I should be
ashamed to have my picture ta-
ken with a jackass. I don't
. . .
know why. He may te mtenor
to me in many things, but I am
inferior to him in many jthers.
It is true that I am his master,
and can lead him about; but I
am also led about, a slave to my
appetites, and passions.
-He was born a jackass, and
can't help it; while I have delib-
erately made a jackass of my-
self ; times without number.
Moithor. ftf i1c -nrcic ncnHoi wlipn
we were brought into this world,
and we are hustled out of it- wil-
lv llv TTk olnv mv vet mi
with mine and "stnT the cracks
to keep the cold awajr. ' '
He is not able to experience
some of the pleasures JL know
but he is immune to my disap
pointments. He is uncomplain
ing about what is, and what he
gets, while I am continually har-
assed by desires
and longings
wnicft me hither and thither
i :n 7 11 n i
wins-o -xne-wisp m a iorest oi
ideals.
He invariably knows when he
has enough. I seldom do. He is
not annoyed by the jackassy acts
of other jackasses. I am. He
has always known how to keep
well. T haven't TTt will n rf oq
I tr
CAROLINA, MARCH, 1914.
his mouth "an enemy to steal I
away his brains.
He has never been vaccinated
with serum antidiphthericum, or
mant. inW Vmore commonlv
known as Typhoid Vaccine) , or
pure77 pus trom the bodies ot
diseased cows.- .
H?S appendix and tonsils are
sii mtaoT ho h tie nan nnthinff
,r r ZZZZS
in. He has never taken a dose of
medicine, and, strange as it may
seem, he has never been sick a
day m his lite, ,
He is satisfied to live today,
He does not worry himself try-
ing to solve the riddle of his or-
lgm and existence, nor does he
exhaust his strength in futile at-
tfiinnts tn lift, 'the veil of Tsis.
I could prove Jby dozens of an-
tropological traits of his, and
r
hundreds of assinine acts of mine
that he -is my brother; but why
prove it wnen i aamit it?
I love him. I admire the splen-
did animality which is his. I
doff my chapeau to his innocent,
uhconscious frankness, and his
shameless, unblushing natural-
ness.
E. E. BUSTER.
(The one with a hat on.)
During the next three years
of Wilson's "prosperity" the at least sixty photo-plays a mm-
romQ or ute that will sell for at least a
game ot suicide is apt to be a , ,, '.
, A A . . , million dollars apiece. One "adf
very popular entertainment, and vertisement reads: "I want to
I seethat the manufacturers of forever put a stop to this fool
bichldride of mercury tablets are ish idea that it takes any special
getting ready for it. Heretofore
hfiOTilft who havft mnrle nil
their minds to take " the bi-
eloride route to heaven hkve
f , 6 r0Ute t0 heaVen haVe
nad t0 n the r.eat nsk
of swallowing a headache tab-
let by mistake. Such blunders s0 kind-hearted that he will only
are very annoying, especially
under a Democratic administra- te,acn yu bow to write photo
tion when a feller is down-and- Plays that will make yoU" rich
out and in a hurry to get away and famous. in about fifteen min
from "it all. And therefore, as a utesafter you get started. Of.
means of preventing such mis
takes in the future, the. enter-
pi . . . ,
prising drug manutacturers have
begun to put up thej bichloride
tablets in the shape of a " coffin,
That is a good idea: Now a poor,
despondent feller can pick out
his "go-to-heaven" dose N in the
dark or anywhere, just by the
oVioi-vik nf n-nA 4-Vi
NO. 1.
Another Way to "Get' Rich.
Wpll i.ftTlftV. t see that another
... . - , , -
1? Same of ft has blos-
somed out in connection with
the moving picture business,
The papers and magazines are
fuU .- f advertisements 0 f
"schools" that want to teach
you to write "photo-plays.77 It
don't matter whether you know
ABC'sor not, you are the
, , . , i i
very buddy they are looking for.
In fact, the more ignorant you
are, the better you will suit
them. They are fishing for suck-
ers that ain't got sense enough
i i ' T 'ail
IO Knw a sKin-game wnen mey
see it. I do. hope you ainjt that
big a fool, but if you are, the
of c(mrse you'll answer their ad.
, , ,
ies 1AUU' axm LUCI1 11
go on to tell you all about what
a great demand there is for pho-
to-plays, and they are plum cer-
tain 4hat you are the greatest
photo-plav writer , that ever liv-
ed. The fact that vou couldn't
SDell "cat" correctlv don't make
any difference. They are quite
positive that you can turn out
talent or education to write pho-
j.. i j uri j -i
to-piays. way, cenaui ana
f?0'. ?nf7 can.AS
u. ' iT- , uceu ... muo
teaching. " Prof. Honeyfuggle
is the gent what came into this
world to do the teachincr. He is
- c0.urse vou pay that little dab
without any hesitation, and then
i i jr
uu emPluJ xour niggers witn
sand-shovels to keep the money
shovelled off you.
Then you wait. After which
you wait some more. And then
you get a steady job of waiting
but still that famev and fortune
7 chrx-rr, r . .