Newspapers / The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, … / Jan. 1, 1922, edition 1 / Page 1
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f fro .-V? r. Yolume XL IT IS IMPORTANT Some people say: "Oh, Pearson, why do yotx talk to much about theojogy? That isn't of any importance, nohow." Yes, it is, too. Much more important tkaa 3fou think. Of course a man might go through life like an idiot and be ixich a fool that he wouldn't be itccountablo for his sins, and in that case he would be all right zaiyhow. But who wants to be an idiot? 1 prefer to have a rational mind of my own and use it. And I tell you right now, Ma ter Reader, if you want to be an intelligent man if $ou want to understand the meaning of the jjreat events that are happening in the world today then you MUST get acquainted with True Theology. There Js no other Tray to understand these times iind the strange events that are srowding in upon us. They tire Jill linked up with God's divine plan and dovetailed with prophe cy to such an extent that you 4iannot separate them. And you cannot understand one without understanding the other. 1 The reason people get the idea that Theology is not important is because they are thinking stbout the old orthodox theology, which really isn't worth two nts a ton, to be paid for in raw jabbit skins. You cannot make the old theology fit in anywhera If you try to make it fit at one place it is all out of socket some where else sorter like trying to weld a grubbing hoe to a ijoose's bilL Harding and Dougherty think iliey have pulled a great stunt in refusing to restore to Eugene Debs his full rights of citizen ship. They seem to think that will cripple his influence with the people and cause him to imeak around like a nurrov with a sore tail and apologize for be ing alive. Mighty little do they Imow about Debs and the crreat towering beauty of his world wde fame. The peanut noli- ticians, in their efforts to be little Debs, remind me of a rround-lizzard trying to throw Iust m the eyes of an eagle. J 1 ioomer, North Carolina, January, 1922. TRYING TO SOBER UP. The nations of the world to day remind me of a gang of red nosed drunkards who have guz zled old corn juice till they are just about all in. One morning after an unusually big spree they wake up with an unusually bad headache, and right then and there they resolve to cut it out. They say among themselves: "Look here, we have been feasting at the flowing bowi for many years; We have been having a he old time together, wallowing in the mud, pickling our guts in alcohol, and spend ing our substance in riotous liv ing, while our families have suf fered for the bare necessities of life. We have looked upon the wine when it was red, and we have painted our noses like a September sunset. We have graduated in the fine art of spew ing, and we have groaned and cussed with more than fifty seven choice varieties of head ache. We have enjoyed all this in our debauched and drunken way, but we are at last waking up to tne ract tnat it isnrt a paying proposition. We begin to see that it hasn't helped us any. We realize that it has been a great curse to us and our fami nes. Go to, let us cau a Dis- boasemeiit Conference and1 see if we can agree among our selves to sorter begin to "taper off. We are afraid to quit all at once, as that might upset our constitution and be too great a shock to our families, but we see an urgent need of cutting down the amount." Hon. Snaries IS. Spughes is chairman of the Drunkards' Dis- boozement Conference, anff he gets up and reads his plan of disbdozement as follows: "I propose that we all agre to limit ourselves to two quarts a week or less, s depending on the size of our bellies and that no more be made until the pre sent supply is used up. And I further propose that all the likk ker that is too poison to drink shall be poured into a crawfish hole." Then up jumped every dele gate in the house and swore that his likker was absolutely pure and good, and he wasn't willing to pour out any of his supply, but he was perfectly willing for the other fellows to pour out theirs. And then every fellow un buckled his belt and swelled out his belly in order to show how big it was and to prove that he was entitled to a little more booze than anybody else. Thus it went on from day to day, and they couldn't agree on any method of "tapering off Nobody suggested that they pour it ALL out and quit short off and be done with it. I wonder if the Disagreement Conference at Washington has got sense enough to take a hint? FALSEMAN K. GLDBERRY Four years ago a millionaire mutt by the name of Falseman H. Oldberry, 'from Michigan, bought himself a ;seat in the I Benited State Senate. And af ter four years of parleying over the matter, that august body of peanut politicians has voted to permit "Senator" Oldberry to isatain his bought seat and draw his bath and his salary, even after the "Senator" had acknow ledged the spending of $195, 000 to elect him. That is poor business, but it seems to be good Republican politics. Everybody knew from the very outset that the Re publican machine in the Senate would Whitewash the old Huckle berry and allow him to hold his bought seat. But the most re markable thing about the whole procceding was the resolution adopted in seating him. The language oif the resolution is such as to add to the infamy of the act itself. It is admitted in the resolution that the amount spent was "too large, much larger than ought to have been spent, an then says: "The expenditure of such ex cessive sums in behalf of a candiate, either with or without his knowledge and consent, is contrary to sound public policy, harmful to the honor and dignity of the senate, and dangerous to the perpetuity of free govern ment. Such excessive expendi tures are hereby severely con demned and disapproved." mat language is tne pure 'stuph. all right, if it had been' Number 1L backed up by actions to cost- respond. But m the very same breath the senate turned right around and said: , "Here,Huckleberry, you tffay4 continue to hold your bought seat in this millionaire club. We don't quite approve of the wajg you got it, but you are a good Republican and you may keep it. And you had better be thank1 ful that you are a good Republi can, too, because if you had bees a Democrat or a Socialist we would have kicked you out be fore the water could get hot." And they would. It is all a political game, and the very brazenness of it is enough to make the devil blush with shame. Jf a Socialist should be honest ly elected to the Benited States Senate by an overwhelming; majority, he would never be al lowed to take his seat. But one of their own political gang can be just as stinking rotten as the very sewers of hell and get by with it slick as howdy. Machine politics! 9 Money power ! Corruption! Oh, what a gang ! I have just now for the first time seen a picture of "Senator Huckleberry in a newspaper, and his face reminds me of a piece of saddleblanket tied oven pumpkin. IMPORT SOME WIND It is beginning to look like there will have to be a law pass ed to import some wind fox Washington. the region aTony the Potomce has never been able to supply more than the normal require ments of the bouse and sepatje; and now that the Disagreement Conference has also been in ses sion for nearly four monthsy an all these august bodies chawing wind about 24 hours a day, am not surprised to hear 'feat the wind in that communis m getting mighty scarce. I am just waiting to see wh will introduce a bill to appro priate some money to import some wind. Hold your nose and say "Sen ator ::1llallont,, tlioo iSmon
The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, N.C.)
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Jan. 1, 1922, edition 1
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