THE POOL-KILLER, PORES KNOB, N. CU MARCH, 1925
MORE ABOUT ADAM
always fussed about the light f n't have heard it then, but CainUaek in the past, and I had evo-
bill and drove him off to bedltook a notion to run for Sheriff
Tha lpff pr from Adam in the about 8:S0 P. M. hv the towrfTof Nod. and vou know every-
fcebruarv issue of The Fool-Kin- clock. thing comes out during a political
er has created more excitement But after all, I suppose Adam campaign. My old -man s opponn
and comment than Carter had did very well as a husband and ent got hold of that tale and he
oats. Some readers seem to like father. His career as a husband just spread it everywhere. -He
i 1 1 "l -LI J I 1 J 1T1 T 1 - . I J JJ - J , 4-l.
lt immensely, wniie outers ue-i was not so reinaiKaoie, i recnoii , even nau it priiiteu un uic m&i;
clare that Adam will never be a but when it come to being a fath- page of the Daily Dishrag, and
success as a writer. I am inclin- er, old Adam is right there with Cain was plum knocked out ol
ed to agree with the latter view, the goods. His work as a father the race. I didn t care for the
I think Adam should stick to his has been very extensive indeed, loss of the office, but the dis-
job of filling a patriarch's grave and it has been widely comment- covery , that my old man was a
at $9.00 per week and let some- ed on m the papers. It Adam murderer was what got my goat,
body else write the stuff for the could stand on a mountain top My first impulse was to go to the
papers. If he had anything to and see all his children in one United States of America and get
say he didn't seem to know how crowd, and if he could realize the a divorce, but he begged so hard
to get it said. His vord-mill full consequences of what he that I finally consented to stay
kept going around, but it didn't started way back there in Eden, with him on condition that he
grind out any sense so far as 1 he would no doubt wish that he wouldn't kill anybody else. And
could see. , had died a bachelor. And I guess there was little Enoch to be con-
But looky here! We will have a good many other people wish sidered also. I couldn't leave
to excuse Adam for his educa- it, too. him, afnd I didn't know any
tional shortcomings, because he But I am nleased to oresent to place I could take him to. So we
never went to school when he you in another column of this is-Jail stayed there together. It was
i -r n i n li J : I " . I 1 J 1 1 . . 1 " '
was a boy. m tact, n an reports sue 0f The Fool-Killer a very in- pretty .. nara nvmg sometimes,
are true, he never was a boy no- teresting letter from Cain's but we never did quite starve,
now. ne was just oorn iuii wife. You will see that she ana aiter wniie our iortunes ue
grown with his boots on and, a seems to understand the English gan to improve. Cain got relig-
beard three feet long. The first language and is amuch better ion and worked hard and saved,
thing he did after being born was composer-than her father-in-law, and in a few more years we were
to looR tor a barber snop to get Adam. Don't fail to read the let- ncn enougn to ouna a nne nouse
a shave, tfut the barber was ter from Cain's Wife.
gone to dinner just then, and
Adam couldn't wait. till he got
back, so he never got shaved at
all.
Adam wasn't more than
A LETTER FROM CAIN'S
WIFE
a
and buy an automobile . I be
gan to be sorter proud of my old
man then, and he went on till he
finally built a city and became a
regular captiaii of industry.
Mv "Letter From Adam" in I- Adam and &ve wouldn't nave
month old when he gott married the February Fool-Killer was anything to do with us atv first,
and went to buying furniture such a howling success that I de- 3ut after we got rich and respect
and groceries on the installment cided to go fishing for spooks able they took to coming over
pian. ine iamny Degan to m- again and see what 1 could catch, aoout once a year ana visiting
crease right away,and it took T , , , , ( , with us. Adam seemed to think
all the money Adam could g to m yxiiwuu ft rigbt smart of Enoch, and I
buy calico and overalls and pay worm can just see yet how Enoch used
his tax. . xiiat uuk xxum d uaim ux lug, to u hig Grandpaw's beard and
So you can easily see that Ad- Ailu ?e2wu "BC4X a11 "y " towsle his white hair.
luted into a woman just in time
to become Cain wife. And so I
say, Hurrah for Darwin!. Edu
cation is a great thing. Without
a college-trained son I might
never have known where I came
from. ' ' ' v
But finally we all died and
came to heaven. We are allliv
ing here on the same golden 1
street and having a fine time.
Adam is sitting on his front
porch just now, and he is reading
The Fool-Killer and laughing.
Eve has just gone around the
house to water her flowers. Cain
and Aberfre playing tennis in a
back lot with a couple of angels.
Send me a bundle of samples and .
I will get your a big club here in
heaven.
Yours happily,
cain's wife:
A SERMON ON COLUMBUS
am had no chance to get an ed- Ju a -p
fVi on nr a vaqv urVion AIotyi anrl
a spiritual log, Eye came to see us they brought
getting an education, but he I dropped my hook in the Hum- with them a new little boy named
missed all the pleasures of child- bug Sea Seth. He was a cute little feller,
hood, including the caster oil bot- Where the waters of Fake are md I remember we taught Enoch
tie, cutting teeth and having his deep, to call him "Uncle Seth." From
neck washed. On top of that, Then leaned my head 'gainst a year to year there were still
he had to blaze a brand-new trail Hoodoo Tree,
through the matrimonial forest. And soon was fast asleep.
He had to step right into the re- Then all at once I felt a bite
sponsibilities of a husband and
father without any previous ex
perience of anyone to give him
advice. Really it isn't much
wonder that he made a mess of
it. Perhaps you or I wouldn't
have done much better under the
same conditions.
That made me lift my head.
other children aidded to Adam's
family ill he had a regular gang
of them. , The last time they
came to see us, shortly before
My hook had caught a ' paper Ad?m ded the3f came in a large
white,
And this is what I read :
motor truck with a boy about
five hundred years old at the
wheel.
I xut gumg uacft. aiuw tu uui uwii
I noticed m the February issue f aTTiil v affairs. For a long time
of The Fool-Killer that my fath- there was a mvsterv in our fami-
We might sav. of course, that! er-in-law, the late Mr. Adam, of iv in ree-ard to who I was and
Adam could have studied at the .Garden of Eden, had been where J came from. We all
home, like some pf the rest of us writing to you, and i just tooK agreed that I was not Cain's sis-
have had to do. But that de- a notion to try my nana at a let- ter, but just where I did come
pends. I don't suppose he had ter to The Fool-Killer. from nobody seemed to know.
any chance to study at home.) Let me explain before going Adam was supposed to be the
After plowing m a stumpy hew-further that I am Cain's Wife, father of all the human race, and
ground from daylight till dark, the mysterious lady concerning if I wasn't his daughter, then
or maybe picking cotton or hew- whom there has. been so much where did 1 come from? I didn't
ing crossties, he was generally speculation in the theological I remember and nobody else seem-
too tired to study at night. Com- world. ed to know. And so th matter
mg from the field, he had to feed, Now don't get scared and stood.
milk the cow and tote an stove- throw this letter in the waste- Rut whpn ETinr.h nn and
wood while Eve was getting sup- basket before you read it. I have finished high school we sent him
per. Alter wnicn it was nis cus- been up here in heaven for over to Nod University where he stud
tom tor pull off his shoes, light five thousand years, and I am ied Darwinism and learned about
his pipe and smoke awhile. He considered perfectly safe and re- how people e volute from monk
always declared that he could spectable. Of course my old man eys. He came back home and e
smoKe Detter witn nis snoes on. was a pretty hard wad m his plained all about it and showed
."V 1 1 ac t 1 i i -w - -a I . -
unce m awnue, wnen ne wasn't young days, out 1 couldn't nelp us Darwin's book with the pic
quite so tired as usual, Adam that. I didn't know about that tures in it to prove that monkeys
would pick up the Bible or Abel affair nohow until several could change into people. Like
Shakespeare, the Literary Digest years after Cain and I were mar- a sudden flash it all came over
or The Fool-Killer, and try to ried and we were living: in the me that explained my origin. I
reaa a iew minutes, isut Jveiiand oi JNod. l prooaDly would-1 had been a monkey somewhere
The Providence Journal wants:
to know where we-uhses would
all have been now if Columbus
hadn't discovered America. Oh
I guess if Chris hadn't done it
somebody else would. As big a
thing as Amenca couldn't have
remainejl lost forever. The rea
son il wasn't found sooner was
because the people of old times
were ignorant and didn't know
how to look for anything. The
people of the old world probably
knew thousands of years ago
that America was lost, but they
didn't seem to care. If anybody
had wanted to find it at ah earli
er date they could easily have
done so. It was right here, and
so far as we know, it made no
effort to getaway. It was not a
bit wild when Columbus and his
men arrived. America hadn't
done anything then to be asham
ed of like she has now, and there
was no need for her to run and
hide like Adam and Eve did when
God came walking in the garden,
about five o'clock one evening.
My honesT opinion is that Co
lumbus has always been given,
too much honor for what he did.
He has been treated just as if
he had done something that was
very hard to do, like finding a
needle in a haystack or a Demo
crat that didn't want office. But
what he did was nothing like
that. He started sailing west,
and all he had to do was to- just
sit steady in the boat and come
right on. Here was America
stretched right across his path
for about five or six thousand
miles, and even if he had come
with his eyes shut he was bound
to have hit it somewhere. He
couldirt possibly have missed it,
unless he had turned around and
gone some other way.
So I can't see that Columbus
is entitled to so much credit,
after all. ltfow if he had found
an honest politician, or discover
ed some sense in this-here "new
poetry," it would have been
something to brag abqut. But
just discovering America good
Lord ! Anybody could'have done
that.
Women are just like men, onl
different.