fill Dispensed From a Storehouse of Humorous Lore. e flushing Insurance Business to the Umlt Dvlnn Man Raeaived Conao- ' latlon In Allopathlo DosesYoung Advocate Muddled Hla First Caae, A Clienfa Queer Compliment to His ; , Lawyer -Judge's Theory of Domes- v tio Relatione A Close 8have. . - J ICopyrlsht. 1902, by Cheap Clerk. ' 1 Kins Solomon declared that there la 'feothlng new under the sun, put X have ' ran across; a few things In my life wkyy: tv ft Mft .WUUICI (V UWI frit of wisdom. Anything novel is, ex .necessitate. Interesting, First and last, Insurance agent have tried about ev ry experiment that human Ingenuity viuu miicui ii ocvuio uubiucbs, uui , am inclined to the opinion that here Is An entirely new wrinkle In the insor- juwe business. Offer to Ineure a Dying Man.?.' - ' Hon. William O. Gray, probate judge tof Pike county, has a mind set. on. iialr trigger; likewise his tongue. ' It ' goes off with every little pressure, and wmetlmea hU words astonish his hear ers beyond measure. He Is a scholar ly man, an upright Judge, an enthusl- autlc partisan and an unconscious hu morist, He Is an Intense Methodist, and his personal resemblance to Bish off Marvin Is remarkable. Whatever te lacks In tact he fully makes up In Mnilnp ; Amnnv nthar nlnna tnr malr. tag money be has operated somewhat as a life Insurance agent, which may account for the following anecdote: While living In Louisiana be had for neighbor and fellow pewbolder an old (gentleman named Samuel Kern, uncle to ex-Congressman Kern of Nebraska. Via . urotner item naa lea a very re .tlgibns and godly life. A few years ago h died Judge Gray called to see him to cheer him up, and, a the sequel will how, he. administered consolation to film in allopathic doses. "Brother Gray," said Brother Kern an a teeiue voice, i nave oeeu review tag my life, and while I have done the best I ould I am fearful that I hate been a great sinner. Do you suppose I have any chance to go to heaven 7' Gray replied In his offhand style. Mil insure you for a quarter Insure 70a for a quarter, sir!" And Brother Kem turned, his face to the wall and crossed 'the dark river with - Judge Cray's words of cheerful assurance tinging iri his ears. .Judge Kern's First Case. - fit Louis bar Judge Chester H. Erum la one of the most scholarly and most tn-Ullant :.He gPre the following racy account of his first lawsuit: : "Admitted to the bar In 1S64. 1 began practice In "18G3 after having been graduated from the Harvard Law school. My , first case arose upon a shipment of eggs in August from Chi cago to St' Louis. . The amount in . Tolved was $87.. The consignor claim d that the eggs bad been shipped In good -order after having been duly candled. . The consignee claimed that All tka AmKnAt(i fnivl iontslnA1 tr tVia ail Ul CU1UIJVUV iVITI VVUIHIUVU III t.U-3 shells needed In order to make them row like chanticleer were spurs and feathers. My client was the consign or. 'The consignee suggested -arbitra tion. Knowing less of the intricacies of ben fruit than of contingent re mainders, I advised my client to ac quiesce. Alas for the rarity of Chris tian charity for the Chlcagoese on the par( of St. Louisiana, the arbitrators found that the eggs were addled, al though the shipper was doubtless an egg-sellant man. nine like lacrimse, I sent In a bill for f 15. It was paid. but the castles in air . which I had builded In imaginative following In the footsteps of Mansfield, Marshall, Web ster and Erskine were rudely shaken to their depths when my elient testified to his high appreciation of my distin guished services by writing me; ;. i 'Young man. I send you your' $15 and anxiously await the opportunity to take them out of your bide. , r Difficulties In Getting Divorces. ; " .There is no other class of cnesin which the n!si prlus Judge has such .wide discretion as divorce cases. There la no other In which his ideas of life lias such' controlling Influence. ' There Is none in which an appeal is of such little Value. The dragnet clanse of our statute which authorizes a divorce by reason of "acta calculated to render one's condition Intolerable" has as many" constructions as there are trial judges. - The decision depends entirely on the particular Judge's theory of the (domestic relations. ; i 5 ?. ' ' Getting a divorce In the Pike Judicial circuit used to be as easy as falling off a log, and a slippery log at that, but with Judge Reuben F. Boy's advent upon the woolsack the prospect was changed for those weary of the matri monial yoke. ' Judge Hoy is a model husband, fa ther and Christian gentleman; has a Hrell defined "opinion that when two feople stand up and solemnly promise Lefore high heaven "to take each other for better or for worse till death do us rwo part" tbey should be compelled to stick to their bargain. Moreover, he took his first lessons In the law out of Julge Theodore Draee's book, and that eminent Jurist and splendid gentleman '? nearly ss n;nch crrsed to divorces '!uo orthodox Catholic ra!?r tow JuJe ly came ry ' ---!'-. it 13 a r.!.--.r..!,-::s venture ' f - a c':verce ii 1 'i cc-.Tt. Then the lawyer must walk as skill fully aa though treading on eggs or hot plowshares. : The slightest bobble, and they, with their clients, are flung Into midair. rr-. .. ' A Lawyer's Mistake Not long since Jodye Dempsey and myself instituted, a divorce suit for a female client Captain Morrow and Governor Ball represented the defend ant. Really the only thing in contro versy was the amount of the alimony, for I never saw a pair who bated each other more intensely. , They were fair ly aching for a separation. . Finally, after many conferences and a 'great deal of worry, Morrow and I agreed on the alimony. As there was a long case on trial ahead of us and as between us we had a whole township subpoenaed as witnesses, as a consequence of which our case waa costing somebody about $100 a day while waiting our turn, I suggested to Morrow to ask the Judge to suspend the case on trial moment to secure his consent to try our case after supper and to announce that our witnesses as to the question of alimony might claim their attend ance and go home. Captain Morrow, who was a decidedly brilliant lawyer, was a little woolgathering that day and bad forgottela Judge Boy's aver sion to divorces. ' So in making the re quest he came near knocking the fat into the fire and getting both himself and me out of court at once. He made the request as agreed on and then add ed, "Your honor, I make this request. as Mr. Clark and I can show you that both plaintiff and defendant have am pie cause for divorce."- AH the lawyers in the courtroom began to grin, while Judge Roy's face flushed td the roots of his hair as he rather tartly said, "Captain Morrow, if that's true you can all go borne, for neither wWget a divorce here," and then the lawyers roared. I mollified the court by say ing: "Oh, Morrow , doesn't know what he's talking about. Tils client has no case, but mine has a good one. That night the Judge granted the di vorce after bearing, a good deal of con clusive evidence ami with great reluc tance. : &' Law a Jealous Mistress. Some ancient phrasemaker said, "The law Is a Jealous mistress," a truth which many aspiring disciples of Blackstone have learned to their ad vantage and which a great many more have neglected to their undoing. Lord Eldon gave this recipe for the making of a great lawyer, "Live like a hermit and work like a horse." If Jefferson Davis Hostetter, one of the brightest of Pike's third generation of lawyers, holds for naught the first half of the lord chancellor's advice and refuses to live like a hermit, he faith fully-acts-upon the latter half and works like a horse. . Eschewing politics, he wooes his Jeal ous mistress with the ardor of a Ro meo, and be succeeds admirably; Thomas, Jefferson once declared that 'eternal vigilance is the price of liber ty." Hostetter evidently believes It is also the price of success at the bar. WheMttbubby boy at Sunday school. he must have thoroughly assimilated the philosophy of the quatrain: Little drop of (cater, Little gralna of land, Ilakt tit bounteout ocean And the beauteous land, ' for he looks after the little things In his profession as well as the big ones. That "a miss is as good as a mile" Is fully illustrated in the following case Fine Points of Law. V Hostetter brought suit for Reynolds and Rodgers on account for medical services for about $60 against one Hen ry Robinson before Squire William EL Campbell, who was Justice of the peace at Bowling Green for forty odd years. The account was a continuous one, but had been permitted to run a long time, and all the Items except one of $2.40 were more than five years old, hence barred by the statute of limitations. If pleaded. Eight days after suit was filed defendant tendered to and deposit ed In the hands of the constable the $2.40 and costs up to that time as be ing all that he owed, the object being to cause all costs subsequently made to be taxed against the plafntiffs In the event tbey failed to recover more than the conceded Item of $2.40. The Justice failed to recognize the legality of de fendant's plea of the statute of limita tions and rendered Judgment foe plain tiffs for the full amount sued for and costs. Won by a Close Shave. -' . 4 ; v ' Defendant appealed, and on a trial anew In the circuit court before Judge E. M. Hughes it was decided that all the items were barred except the $2.40 Item, und Judgment was rendered for plaintiff for only $2.40. with C per cent interest from date of Institution of suit. Thereupon defendant filed, his motion to ha recall' costs which had accrued subsequent to bis tender taxed against plaintiffs, wf5ffos then $18 or $20. : This motion was resisted by Hostet ter on the ground that defendant did not tender and pa v all be owed: tbat he owed fi 40" on the day the suit was brought and plaintiffs were entitled to Interest OTP the $2.40 from that date. and that defendant, to make his ten der effective, should have Included in the tender of the $2.40 the Interest for the eight days which elapsed between the date of tbe Institution cf tlie suit nd tbe date the tender was made. This Interest amounted td a little over mills. The Judge, while admitting that the point was purely technical, de- j cided it well taken and overruled the I motion and taxed ail costs against the defendant. . . I I have always believed tbat HoTtet- ter won tbat victory bv tbe cios; ! ave In the annals of Jnr!?prude3oe nJ Lis experience shouM Ingress n tract: tioners the value cf loc-kin fter even ti,e s:ha"eft thirds cocnect 1 wi'h a cn- Kczim a, Trmca, FsoXJUAia, &iT Rmrot, Acme and great many other diseaaes of like character aro classed aa skin diseases, when thy could Just as properly be called blood diseases, .for tSuey tutdoubtedl v originate ia the blood, like Cancer, Catarrh, Scrofula, Rhenmatiam, Contagions Blood Poison, etc, ; the only real difference being la the intensity mad nature of the potaoo. The mora serious diseases. Cancer, Catarrh, etc., arc caused by eoai specific poison or vims, whkh is cither inherited or ia other ways gets into tbe blood aad attacks certain vital organs or appeare in the form oi terrible sores aad mlcers, while the milder and leae dangerous skin diseases are caused by blood humors or an over acid condition of that fluid. These add poisoaa, aa they oe out through the pores of the akin, cause great irritation, with intense Itching aad burning. The eruption may be of a pustular kind, with excessive discharge of thick, gummy fluid, or the skin may U hot, o aad feverish, swedka aad fissured. Skin diseases, whether they appear --: - ...!-.-- aa sores, Diotcnea or ptmplea. X earn eheesfaUy aad Tear irritatlaar aad aauaeyinar etteeeee. is near sew . it sbaaerelr eaaerae for Heeesaa, tbe saoet am, X talaOt, taat waa trehUd with- it for twaatr-fiva raars. ava4 tried aaaaiv Msaedlaa With no ao4 effaofc. after malnsT rear saedielaie a short tisse X thimk X aaa eattrely reOleva. Tea eea dve tale stateasaat amy pablleltr T aay deatre, as 1 la volamtajHy saade, asore Car theee aflHetod thai motoriaty for aasTsaU; . Terr It West OemtreJ. Itauataaa, Wloalta, become more deenly tooted aad intractable, the longer neglected, the skin la time having a thick, bard, rough and unsightly appearance. You can hide the blemishes for a time with cosmetics; and washes, lotions, soaps aad powders may- relieve temporarily the itching and burning, but eventually the , , -,i i . ; ; i ' pores oi ine eaui oecome so caoggeo. up py uus nesxmcnc inas uie poisonous matter thrown on by the blood cannot pass out of the system, aad settles on th lungs, heart or some other vital ergan and endangers life. To purify aad build op the twQuted blood 1a the right treatment for skin diseases, aad for this purpose aw other medicine ia so deservedly popular as S.S.S. It is a perfect antidote for all blood humors, aad When taken into the circulation, gently but thoroughly eliminates all impurities and puts the blood in a healthy, normal state. The akin can't remain ia aa irritated, diseased condition when nourished with rich, new blood. S. S. S. is the only amaranteed wirelv wtaMa remedy, aad the safest and best skin beautifier. Write our physicians it you have any blood or skia disease, and they will cheerfully advise you without charge. IlltJ SWIFT WEWHC COMPANY, ATLANTA OA. POUR OIL On the machinery of your bueiaesa by insert ing an adyertlsfment in THE FREE PRSS. You will be surprised to see how much smoother and faster the, wheels -will iurtT y" THE FREE PRESS has a large circulation among people you want to get trade from. NOTICE Delinquent Tax payers most come forward and settle at once oi they will be called on for same by myself or deputy, as! can't indulge any one longer. All property will be seized and cost added. ' D. F. WOOTEN. Sheriff Lenoir County. '" t. : ' iFor the Next 30' Pays: Oar entire stock of SHOES. Overalls that were 65c now 48c Ken's 8uits Underwear, were f 1.25. for this sale VOc. Ladles' and Men's Overshoes, were 65c, now 48c, Shirts 20e to 76c, Suspenders from 5c to 50c Umbrellas at any old price.. Our entire stock of To bacco will also be sacrificed. W. T. North St. FIELDS & GO. General Store Sa : Laat5 ir f The Cable Company sold two fine pianos Tuesday, They have the new style cabinet grand made in 1902. 8ee the latest styles In any color you want, Don't fail to call and see what a fine piano yon can set for the price. The terms will suit you. This is the larsest stock of pianos ever shipped to Klnston; The Cble Co. are the largest manu facturers of pianos and organs to the world, and they seH direct to the consumer and save you the dealer's profit You can buy a Diana from the Cable Co. at the cost that a dealer baa to pay for them and make terms as low as (5 and $6 per montb. Kemrobtr ivry instrument tbat you buy from the Cable Co. is fnlly warranted aud becVod by a-a pi tit I nf two millfon dcller Tbey are at tbe Rouse store, near ttw A. & N. C, d?(vr, and will be here a few days only. ; At ihe Head of alfTobacco Fertilizers. MEADOW' Gold Leaf Tobacco Guano. Spe ially prepared for the lands of EASTER CAROLINA. Insures a good ; cure, makes Wrap pers and Fills your Purse. ' , f T ' On its merits alone, one farmer in Jones will use it exclusively on lis 60 acres of Tobacco. , As our goods are manufactured near you aDd not reshipped, we claim PBE5HNESS and GOOD MECHANICAL CONDITIONf Fig:b Grade Cabbage, Potato. AJlcrop and Cot- onQuaco. ' - . - " Our Motto: ".Not How Cheap But How Good." Use our goods and have no regrets. - 1 E. H. Ci J. A. MEADOWS CO., AVnTrs. actory on Keuse River. NEW BERN, N. C. Plr.ca your crdcr3 with i (Hby Pay Flore fo? LIFE IJ1S0IU1IIGE ; ; Blaewhere when you can get better polides In the Old Reliable ' " I. II IV T IV T . Wrt--i1 Itttm TMentinnaa i JTEilN IN 3 Ilataal Life Insaranee Co. ' of Phllssdelphlaf . At rates from ten to twenty per cent cheaper, independently of X the more liberal dividends of the PENN. - Ask for comparison of rates and dividends and other liter- attire. ,. t " i MISS SYBIL HYATT, Agent, ; .-v1 rt trvinrVJsf.'r'; )n. Still Selling At Cost- 1 can save you 25 to 50 percent, it yon bny from .me ilere. are i a few prices: Shoes from 50c np, Overalls at 80c per salt, Shirts (hat were f i, now 75c, Shirts that were 50c, now 38c, Pants from 50c npi' J ranis uotn worm 40c, now asc, corsets from 18c to 41c eadi, Hats 7. that were f 1.50, now $1.00. Men's Undershirts 20c and 25c. Every- article at cost. . " . DAN QUIf JERLY. Next to Slaughter Bros. T'B.E "'.il'r Prices $5 to $ i 50. . .,y A WARDED THE GRAND AT THE PARIS EXPOGITiOU. Entertains t,1 (i T Evervwhere ; Typm MB, aasaaajl C r ' ;t t ' LATEST NEW PROCESS RECORDS I5 per docen. Grand Records, i each. Sinall Records, '50c eacH. : Send for Catakwn. Send 5 with your order and goods will be shipped CO.D. for.the balance. COLUMBIA PHONOGRAPH COMPANY M0 F, Baltimore Street. BALTIMOpr KD. flrtistie .'.. printer never have to resort to "guessing" in turning out . work, It takes brains and ekill to eatisfy this advanced age. il inartistic 0 ' will quote you price?, never mentioning quaiiLy 01 wors. , Every . business ' man appreciates neat and tasty stationery and when you take into consideration tho fact that by sendiDg your orders to "0 THE pfEE PtESS you can get fine printing at as low a price' as . mediocre work eh s whero, you will realize why .we assert vrith eo much confidence that we are tho ones f Lii w wuu wui utjai jpieasw you. ..'Examine work with our im You will see ho wt tasty and r.rl ' isf and remember yqu get o z 1 from us at a3 low prices a3 : : paid others for inferior work. I n 1 f c- o 9 o 11 It r y I" f Vi 1 a 8ii ax'-rn tat r r : v-.'t t in a I.!--t 4 KIN5TON, N. C. J m ki V. .it ,i 1 .t if w r f ?- :.r t c. t i 4 I i