Newspapers / The Kinston Free Press … / Oct. 22, 1903, edition 1 / Page 3
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V Bowser's Nigiit Off He Differ. With His Wife Concerning How He Returned to His Home W Invited to the Club. The Next MorninJ He Felt Depressed nd Lonesome, but Mrs. B. Knew the .Symptoms t Copyright, 1903. by C. B. Lawia THINK." Mid Mr. Bowier aa he roe from the dinner table, think I'll Just look in on tbe club tbla avenlng. I faaren't been around for a long time, and two or three of the menibera were speaking to me today about it. ,1 don't suppose you have any objection. hav4 you?" . "Not in tbe leaat. replied Mrs. Bow aer. "As you say. yon haven't been there for a long time." "There may be a little speaking, as some prominent man from Chicago Is to be there, and it is quite likely Ml be called upon. If so" "Yon will decline, of course." "Why should I decline?" ''Because the only speech you have Is onietlitng-' about the labor questtlou. and that won't be exactly the thing to , 1 "THERB HAT BS A I1ITTI1S aPKAKIXO." get off at a club. You will respectfully decline, of course, on account of sore throat." He growled around for a time and aid something about passing tbe even ing in a saloon, but flnnlly. dressed himself, and departed, saying tbat be might not be back for a month. Tbat ' was at 9 o'clock In the evening. Tbe next thing be knew Mrs. Bowser waa 'waling him up. and It was 8 o'clock , (text morning. He got up slowly oat of bed, yawning and stretching, and ob served; "I believe we are going to have an ' awful storm by tomorrow. 1 feel lone- some, and depressed this morning, and 1 ache as If I was coming down wltb rheumatism." - , "Y-e-sV replied Mrs. Bowser wlth- ut raising her eyes. "I suppose; you are tickled half , to death all over that little joke you eame on me last night?" be continued. '"Joke? I do not know what you mean." v , . , " "I can appreciate fun as well as tbe next person, but it mustn't be carried ; too far not too far, Mrs. Bowser. I went down to the. club last night for the first time In three months. Yon were put out at my going, I didn't get bouae until balfpast 10 o'clock, and ' as" ,It wad exactly 1 o'clock, Mr. Bbw ;apr." - ( ,- "Nerer! I looked at my watch, aa t opened the front door.' As I was say- "Yes: your condition last night ac counts for your depressed spirits to day. , It is not golug to storm. Mr. Bowser. Tbe predictions are for clear weather for the next three or four day to come. ; , My condition last night? By the great born spoon, but you must have lost your senses. Do you mean to say that I came home drunk?" "No, . not exactly drunk. I believe you men folks use a term called swii- eled. don't you? You were not drunk but swlsszled. I had to help you up stairs. 1 started to undress you, but you cried out. "CJ'way f'm me or I'll knocker blamed head off!' And I weut away." "Wo-woman, you are crazy!" gasped Mr. Bowtwr. wlio was so weak In the knees that he hud to sit down. "You did uutniiKO to get yohr coul off, I believe." she piocldly, coutluued. "but thjit tired you out, and when yon awoke this morning you were sur prised to tlud that you bad Rlept In your hnt and shoes and uiont of your clothing." "I-l sjepj In my hat, did I?" mur mured Mr,-Bowser, "Yes, and several times before morn ing you also talked through your hat. I believe you men folks make use of such expression, don't you? When you awoke and realized the situation you thought I bad been trying to be fun ny.n "Mrs. Bowser, you you didn't get a telegram that your mother 'was dead?" "Oh. no! Mother is enjoying splen did health. Nothing has happened to suddenly dethrone my reason, .Mr. Bowser." ' "But you are a great bnnd to dream vivid dreams. ' Your dreams are some times so reullstic that you scream out and wake me up." "Yes. I know, but 1 don't get out of bed and go downstairs and find you on tbe steps, it doesn't take me twen ty minutes to get you upstairs, and you don't kick over chairs and yell ont that you can lick the whole; police force. , It is no use to deny facts, Mr. Bowser. Yon say It was half past 10 o'clock?" "I'll stake my life on It!" "And yet 1 . looked at your watch, and it had stopped at 0:40." , Mr. Bowser simply sat and glared at her with open mouth. "Fib not complaining." she quietly continued. "It isn't such a dreadful thing for a husband to go to a .club and come borne swlzzled and go to bed With bis clothes on. I expect tbat nine out of ten do It; only they shouldn't get up next morning and lay It all on their wives, you know." There was silence for the next. two minutessilence so thick that it could have been sliced , off like cold ham. Then Mr, Bowser resumed his dress ing and aald: - - ' . "I am cnargeu with Waving come borne In an inebriated condition last night. That charge is made by my wife. I do not know" what her object is, bat"- ' - - "We might call it rheumatism," In terrupted Mrs.,Bow8er4 "Rheumatism does act - tbat way sometimes, doesn't It?" - -.",'..- "Woman, you have reached tbe limit the dead' Hue! For your sake I have borne much.. Hoping tbat you would "YOU WERE SITTING ON THE STEfS Wl". H YOUR ARM AROUND ' ' " ONE OF THE FOSTS. . v Ing. the result was that I slept unusu ally sound, and you took advantage of the circumstance to Indulge in some Tunny business." . . . "Mr. Bowser, when I beard yon fail against tbe front door the bells were Just striking 1." " "What! What! 1 fall against the front door?" "You did. and when I went down you were sitting on the steps with your arm around one-of the posts. I bad considerable trouble to Induce you to come In." ,.j "Mr, r.owr, r sve you t .e crazy?" shou'. 1 ?'r. rof-r ss te f 1 up and gashed Bui s -i :. ! turuej red and g'arcd at tor. "Kn, e "jr." T'. -: ; If.! t r ! If I f - I ft 1 o'i ' kf If i f lu time nettle down Into a loving, sen sible wife I have put up and put up and exercised the patience of a taint This ends ltr , - - -, . - - --"Your lawyer will see me some time during .the day. I suppose?" queried Mrs. Bowser aa be started to go down-' stairs. "He will: be will! Be 'will be In structed to arrange everything as ami cably as possible!'' -.' At tbe breakfast table, however. Mr. Bowser made a lightning change and snddeniy beciime very Jolly, and as be finished the meal be pulled ont the family pocketlook and nald: "Mrs. Bowser, you've been cut rather hort for tbe 'jst two or three weeks, and you'd ttler take this twenty to sort f even you iij. I'll pet tickets f r 1' t" f'.s- r t m t. fit il t':!icrrow Th Fastidious" Man Ind tht Waiter . '"i "I was much amused tbe other day, ah) the man with the- raveled cigar, "by a con versa t ion that took place in a certain little cafe downtown be tween a fastidious patrou aud tbe waiter assigned to the task of serving bins. "At I was sitting near tbe fastidious patron I could not fail to overbear bis orders, tbe exactitude of which were moat edifying. I taw tbat tbe waiter bad. at I bad, too. Immediately sited up the man. He bad a nasty, irritating little cough, and be sipped ice water while giving bis order. Tbe conversa tion ran about this way: , "'Bring me a pot of coffee.' said tbe finicky customer, 'a pot. mind you, not a cup of coffee, but a pot of it. And It must be hot hot and strong. Don't forget that. Also a tenderloin steal;, rare. Please remember that, waiter. And don't hnve nuy fat ou It. I can't bear the siJit of fat In tbe imirnliijt.' "'Very weh, sir." an Id the waiter k litely; 'uo fat.' "'And bring me nouie dry toast : l.nt remember hot toast and have It made of stale bread. And see that it is toasted outside and not soggy within. I hate soggy tonwt. Please bear tbit In mind.' " 'Very good, sir.' replied the waiter 'not soggy within.' "'Also some sliced tomatoes. eontiii ued the man. 'And take the Ice from them and drain them. I want my to ma toes dry: understand, dry. not wet! Don't forget!' " 'Yes, sic' responded the waiter: 'to matoes must be dry.' "'And now let's we. let's see. O'l. yes. Bring me some fried egns. Re sure that they are perfectly, freslw perfectly fresh. 'And I desire them fried on one side only. You won't for get that!' X '"Oh. no. sir.' ejaculated the waiteri 'I'll not forget. And which side, sir?'" New York Times. tT The Saroattlc Father. Old Attoruey-Another blunder! I am almost discouraged with yon. There Is but twice a day that I feel you to justify the term "rising young attor ney." - - Old Attorney's Son And what Is that? .Old Attorney When you're coming np In the elevator, rooming and noon. Baltimore American. I I I : I : I I 1 Mil I 1 i 1 I M,::m.ll I 1 1 jilil:rm All the Better For Her. Fweddie-I.told Kitxle Kicker tbat the gov'uer was awf'ly mad because I bad no bwnlns. ' ' i v Algle And what did she say, deab boy? Fweddle She said she'd be awf'ly mad if 1 had. A Harrowing Memory. ,' It was af a funeral, and a somewhat lachrymose old minister was officiates- '.' V ' ' . ; . ' Referring to bis long acquaintance with, the deceased, be said: ' "Ah brother and sisters, many a time have J dandled this corpse on my kneel" Llppjnoott't. , l . . HU Prefereaee, He Life is simply one grand chase. If you are not among the pursuers yon must be one of tbe pursued. , -, Sue-Will you' run with the bounds or Uj.wUb the deer? i ; ,' He I will fly wlfb yon. dear. If yon please. Kansas City Journal. 4- Lot 3. Ladies Un ion Suits, Jersey Rib bed, Fleece Lined, worth 50c, this lot goes at 25c Lot 7. 90 dozen " ' Men's Shirts and Drawers, extra heavy ,. . Ribbed Fleece Lined, worth 50c, this lot 25c - Talaka Well aimeelt. "Isn't It ttmnge." remarked Mrs. BIl Unr to ber husband, "that I can never get a good bargained shoes ?" ; ,-" .VYou did once," said her husband. - - "When wat tbatr "When you got mc'-Chlcago Bee-ord-Herald. . " - , 8el Control. -"Have o'i ever shrl real teart while acting?": askrd the'liiciialtlve girt. ''No," answered .Mr." Stormington Barnes. -'-'I have felt It sometimes, bnt I make It a rule never to let my box office cares intrude n my art Wash ington Star. " A Sort of a Twister. Colfax And so ,yoo tbiuk the was glad to tee you? ' i ,Duni)ey Oh. yes. Almost tbe first! thine the said was that she wished i she bad known I wat coming. Boston Transcript -r e' - : The Caaaiotoae Barbara. - Lawson What did tbe convention of 14- barbers say when yon addressed them? j Dawson Wby. do you know. 1 hadn't j been talking three minutes before they ! all began shouting, "Next!" Somerville ' Journal. Saeeoea. - f ' e AfcJ wLat would you call a enc- C. T.MUNFORD Next to Hoods New Drug Store KINSTON, - - - North Carolina THE PEOPLE The Munford Ways and Prices Are World Beaters Nothing: &ut First-CIass A No. 1 Goods Shown READ DOWN READ ALL We've Come to Stay LOT 1. Heavy Silver Bleached Table Damask, 70 inches wide, worth $1 yard, this let goes at v5CDC Lot 4. 25 dozen Ladies' Heavy Rib bed Fast Black Hose, worth 15c, this lot goes at 10c LOT 2. Heavy IjnbTeacTied Canton Flannell, 1 worth 8c yard, this lot opens at 1 Lot 5. Heavy one-yard-wide Homespun and Calicoe, this lot goes at 4c. LOT 8 IOT8 GEO. A. f iyi "I" SPOOL CLARK'S J m M l a COTTON 50c Dozen 25c Half-Dozen 1 Lot 6. Checked 1 Homespun, 5c designs 1 worth more this lot 1 goes at 3e. 1 Lot 9. 62 dozen Boys Heavy Fleece Lined Shirts ' and Drawers, this lo fcoetl at 25c. CLOTHING FOR MEN Clothing for Young Men and Boys HIGH CLASS PERFECT TAJLOItlNG Men's Suits Boys' Suits 25 per cent. Saved by Buying Us Boys Suits for 59c PETTICOATS Ladies' Black Mercerized Petticoats New Lot of '60 Dozen Just in at Munford's Same old price, which means a saving of from 50c to $1.00 on the skirt; NO Hot Air But Stut)oorn Kaets For Cash Lion Brand Shirts With the Iard Metalic Round Dollars Ave purchased 193 dozen of .this cele-r brated Shirt, which is worth 1.00 the world over, but the under buyer and under seller says; ' ' ; 50C EsCfl House Furnishing Goods See our line of I ace Curtains, Rugs, Carpets, Oil Cloths and Linoleums, Furniture and House Furnishings. CSWe can save vou monev. - g.t. Munford THE" FARMERS' FRIEND cefn! poet? i ; -) i ,g tnocy e-ot';! v J- TT
The Kinston Free Press (Kinston, N.C.)
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Oct. 22, 1903, edition 1
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