Newspapers / The Hornet’s Nest (New … / July 29, 1847, edition 1 / Page 1
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1 J I I ii - Jt,' fie 1 J I vV J i i i W .r-v,,:,. .-.,.;,..:;v ; , , . - -- 1 , i ii i u o ) v r 1 1 JlJUUUULb L 1 3 1 t 1 - - v . VOI. .1. "IKDEPESDEST- I5J fVElT THING. K E U TB A U I N U O TH I HiO." :: i . - ;;; - s 1 MAaa I "1: ffeaMk KEWBERNi CRAVEN CO., N. C, JTDpilT SO. - , ' X - , - f A LAMENT FOR D'S. OLD BLUE COAT. ALTERED FROM THE "BUZZARD." This coat is all a fleeting show, I scarce restrain rnv tears ; The collar's gone, the tail must go Ye Gods ! how can a coat look so, When worn but thirty years ! I And faint the wool thats seen on it. As fading leaves a failin. ; But thirty years ! alas, I'm bit! But stop I I do believe 'twill fit Thank God, 'twill just fit Allen ! For the Hornets Nest. THE NEWBERN SLANDER CLUB." Mr. Editou : -Yon are undoubtedly aware that our good town has for years (1 might almost say ages) past, been most se- juiusica oy a desperate gmg of back- n oxters. The ravam'-s of this most infamous 4 club, have left their traces upon the fair lame w oiiuwicvci y Lilian HI .UUi JlUUSl. rtIk 1! cA.nat; ,r..,...VA to rnnr f-X- rW$reHJicSi?1UlUu TlCtllXirtO illlS most dread- I ",iU nml n ,vnn:lrfnl' in i! nn.niot tice. They are the general visitors uabout tpw;hr" To see ni, :;yo.u could r scarce re frain your admiration ; they wear such sweet smile&and are so gracious m tlieir intercourse. No fair t!ay? but yia will see troups of them tripping it lightly along the streets, or more patrician ly, being driven in- their carriages and buggies (For they are all in high places.) They will step into your house for a few minutes, smile and courtesy you out of some little inkling of your private affairs, and pay you? largely of the affairs of others. Thus a day spent in 4pop calls," overburdens them with an inestimable fund for the club ; which they do not fail to disclose with infinite am plifications. Their invention is truly marvel lous and their imaginations almost limitless. For you could hardly suppose that the "say inisS and doings" of our pleasant town, would furnish them with half the materials for their benevolent occupation. The v as a matter of course, proceed upon the principle of the "three black crows," though it is miraculous, with what e minent improvement, tin y amplify it, and well niirh make it their own. The4icrows,? ... Epr t lie: Hornets Nest. THINGS 1 LIKE TO SEE. I like to see a ybnug gentleman pay his ad dresses to a lad v, and because she does n6t think proper to favour his visit, blab about that he has the amitten," and get drank three times in one day in consequence : It shows that he has a high respect lor the lady, and that his sympathetic bump is largely de veloped. I like to see a young man take sixteen mint julips in twenty minutes ; it shows that he has a strong head. I like to see a yaung man lay do wn; under a pine tree and get to sleep, and when he wakes, find that his hair has stuck to a turpen tine box ; it shows that he has proved., the glo rious effects of "steam." I like to see a vouncf man ride furiousvl through the streets ; it shows that he has an eye to the safety of street passengers. I like to see that same young man, when the i town ofheciv exacts the fine of two dollars and a hall lor the ride, offer to pay ten dollars; ..." ful scourge. Most sadly fulfilling the pro- J";-- r:phetic dictum of the inspired bard of Avon. wBe thou a chaste as ice, as pure as snow, Thou shait not essape caluInv,, - The organization of this Club has ever been p to perfect, that the most assiduous, have hi-Ts- therto failed to discover its retreat, or even ; ; positively identify many of ito members. The ? old brinrands of Calabria, or the innumerable host of La cite in Paris over which nhe re ; nowned Vidocq once presided, could scarcely J , surpass in discipline the -Slander Club" of 1 Cuddylfhnk. JBux thanks to good fortune rather?than tact I have at last found but its y: hiding place; and in undiscoverable disguise have witnessed yrts proceed inTs, and are able now with unerring certain; i name most of its members: " AS I had all al ng supposed, this Club is chiefly if not entirely composed r of married ladiiyh one or two gentlemen(?) employed as spiand runners. And what will probably ike you almost dumb with t 1 r& flint l to i s . i. . f cMfnnHii sf vMr-Jir. ad some- foundation, but tins truly astonisningr . to 1 - ...... whole, that vou cease to remark even the T). . "seven wonders" of the world. Why sir,! " xu umuwiug Munchausen is insipid, and Gulliver utterly in- j banded me a fcw days since, as a hteiary ctP snfierable. wlien placed by the si de ot their t nos'ty : and as I suppose you are fond of any beautiful inventions. These Lilliputs mu-t ! t1jnJ has a tendency to instruct and ban? their heads and sink into uttr nothing- - t i - - , c ,, UI ' amuse your readers, 1 Sc nd it to you to drspo- ness. .m the estimation or all reamabh men, ... ' J 1 when the chronicles of -the Newbem Slander ol 11 m anJ wa' y011 choose. It is the opin- Club" shall have been made known to the ! ion of these who have had the good fortune to world. ' see it, that it is decidedly ; rich." As it is The meetings of this club, as you would ditiicuU to read the original manuscripLl copy readily suppose, irom the piau$ mdivi nials : . r 1 IJ who. compose it, are held on Sundays, and Sun- l ' day nights; when, after offering a mot de- Loosing Swamp, 1st May, 1847. voui prayer, the president takes the chair; and My Dkarest Alice : Ever susceptible of they commence to unburden themselves in the hallowed and refining influence of beauty, true Roman style, by a general confession. j and having a soul painfully alive to whatever In a future number, 1 will furnish you with is lovely in nature, I cannot delay a moment tneir modus operandi, and interesting proceed-; longer to unburden to you a bosom struglm mirs toirether with their names. I must now U '5 leave them with the malediction of Hillhouse. r under the de p and ardent emotions of first love, which press like a mountain upon me. Language. My dear girl, is totally inadequate surpnse, they aralmost all wonderfully pioks. I Whence slanderous rumor, like the adders to express the fathomless profundity of my af (at ieast profmseMy so.) You would really drop, lection- for you. Could I call to my did th he greatly ified, to witness the righteous in-4 Distils her venom, withering friendship's faith. : vvii iom of Minerva, breathe the impassioned dignationaey? manifest at their victims, j Turning love's forever." eloquence of a Cicero, and, with the" forked rwhniIdi50tHeir budgets of newsat the IAu IkY. lightning for my pen, write my devotion to thtr tmpfllyjeyebrows the ujLof$a Mmspi f--Hb.euar the goodness ffraeiowses in characters of fire upon the blue vault of i' Hie students at Chapel Hill have passed a heaven, 1 should fail infinitely short of couvjav- law among themselves, proh bitmg any seho- t0 vour mind the remotest idea of tne exist- rIQnder-iG gmdness graciomes Tr9ly thy bb a godly set. j lar from pronouncing any woid, as it is pro-. j0g reality 1 4 A ' The manner in which thev so skillfnllv nounced. in anv of. the English, dictionaries ! 1 inn hJ uv .u;. ru rtw nei is hyno means novel, though i under p in of displeasing the fenior class. j The flower irarden of inv heart. once solbveiv- fulllmriftoved under their adroit nrac- i-Wc may shortly look out for jaw crackers. hrw hen vkif Ail hxr n itiinnrfprtopm' gather4 wonder - A t . .., 1 .. m it 1. . '." ' 4 .. 4 '1 1 s 1 f .- - i. ' - 9 . ... ...... I ; ' '. V
The Hornet’s Nest (New Bern, N.C.)
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July 29, 1847, edition 1
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