Newspapers / The Pinehurst Outlook (Pinehurst, … / Jan. 27, 1899, edition 1 / Page 6
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THE PINEHURST OUTLOOK. PUNGENCIES. Englishman: "I wouldn't want to hear more than the first two words of 'The Star-spangled Banner' to know it was written by an American." Pncifo Unitarian. The reported question of a man in Washington soon after Dewey's victory was, "How did the Philippians fall into such gross savagery that Paul wrote his Epistle to them?" Exchange. An Irishwoman iu W. was once asked where she lived. "I live," said she, "corner Grove and Wilier, No. 100." "Is it 100 Grove street or 100 Willow street?" "I dunno: it's just 100, with a 'lectric light in front of the door.' Ex change, This woman was once cleaning silver; and, picking up some coffee spoons, she asked, "And what do those things be doon?'' On being told they were coffee spoons, to use with small cups, she re marked, in a tone from which -all con cealment of disgust had been removed : "I know a lady and she do have finger bowls. Humph !" Exchange. Miss Josephine Kipling, the eldest child of Rudyard Kipling, was whipped for telling a fib, and went to bed, sob bing rebelliously : "I think it's real mean, so there ! My pa writes great big whoppers, and everybody thinks they're lovely; while I just told a tiny little story, and gets whipped and sent to bed !" Methodist Churchman. From the Bank. When Flynn heard that Mr. Smith was afflicted with soften ing of the brain, he thought it a great disgrace; and, when he was told he might have the same trouble himself some day, he brought down his hand with emphasis on the marble counter, and said, "I want you to understand that my head is just as solid as that slab !" Exchange. A servant who lives In a Unitarian family is quite fond of the young minis ter, who is a frequent visitor. One day, while preparing dinner, she gave some extra care to the preparation of a dish in his honor. Some one said to her, "Mary, you mustn't make it too nice, or you will spoil the young man." "Shure, ma'am, there's nothing too nice to spoil the minister !" Exchange. Julia Marlowe received from Hudyard Kipling, as a Christinas present, a copy of his latest book, "The Day's Work," with this verse in autograph on the fly leaf: "When skies are gray Instead of blue, With clouds that come to dishearten, When things go wrong, as they sometimes do, In life's little kindergarten, I beg you, my child, don't weep and wall, And don't, don't take to tippling; But cheer your soul with a little tale By Neighbor lludyard Kipling." A triple-barrelled case of heterophemy occurred not long ago at a meeting of the licensing sessions in an English city. The chairman, discussing the law requir ing bona fide traveller, to go a certain distance before being entitled to liquid refreshment, referred to it as being "three miles as the flow cries." A su perior person hastily rose to correct his worship, but could get no nearer than, "Your Worship means 'as the fly crows,' or, rather," he added hastily, " 'as the cry flows.'" Xo one was rash enough to THE PINEHURST NURSERIES, O. KATZENSTEIN, SUPT.. PINEHURST, IN. C. Offer their large collection of Broad-Leaved Evergreens, Orna mental Trees, Shrubs and Vines - AND OK North Carolina Woody and Herbaceous Plants and Seeds Stock under regular control by X. C. State Entomologist and Is free of any scale or disease. Moderate Prices. Thrifty Plants. Catalogue Fre. (ORUESPONDEXCE SOLICITED. make a further attempt, and the magis trates went on with their efforts in he half of sobrietv. Exchange Not Up to Expectations. "What are you fellows all laughing at?" asked a Woodward avenue business man as he approached a half-dozen men about a down-town lunch table, relates the Detroit Free Press. "We're not laughing," responded the big man at the head of the table. "Look at Jones. A weakly smile is the very best that he can do. lie had an experi ence. He " "Never mind, " interposed .Jones; "Til tell it myself. The truth is bad enough without having it ornamented with a lot of imaginary filigree work. I had an im mense gilt sign to put up across the front of my establishment. Three carpenters came to size up the job, but it was soon evident to me that they were in a com bine. Their figures did not vary ma terially and suggested that I might be going to build or paint instead of place a sign. One of these perambulating me chanics, with his tools in a pushcart, came along while 1 was trying to talk reason into the carpenter trust. lie promptly entered into the competition and cut their rates 70 per cent. "'Can you do it right V I inquired. "He was very positive that he could, and I gave him the contract. He went to work about 3 o'clock and finished after dark." "Good work?" "Good work? Solid as u rock. Thought we'd never get It down." "What under the heavens did you want It down for?" "Oh, nothing special," sighed Jones. "It was only wrong ide up." At The Pliifhurst Alley. Interest in bowling Is still increasing. The alleys are thronged with player?: every afternoon and evening and many good scores are being made. The highest score for the week is 205 made by K. 1,'oyal Ellis. An interesting game was bowled Wed nesday evening by Southern Pines and l'inehurst playera. It is hoped that teams representing the two places will soon be jutted against each other. THE BERKSHIRE PINEHURST, N. C. .-- r- '25r. TERMS: $2 per day; $10 to $15 per week. The Berkshire with its cottages is pleasantly located in the new ami attractive town of I'ine hurst. It has all modern conveniences lor health and comfort, running spring water of excepiioiiallv line quality, bath rooms, steam heat, open lires and electric lights. Near the house are golf links covering sixty acres, tennis courts and croquet grounds. Horses can he hired at moderate prices for riding and driving. Passengers from New York via IV nn. K. It. and Seaboard Air Line will ji electric cars awaiting them at Southern Tines to convey them to 1'inehurst, a distance of six miles. W. . PECK. Jlnim-cr. Proprietor of Mt. Everett House, situated among the Berkshire Hills at South Kgrem ,nt, Mass. DEPARTMENT STORE, PINEHURST, N. C. DEPT. A B C D E F C Drugs and Proprietary Medicines. Dry (Joods and Notions. (Jents' Furnishings, Hats and Caps. Boots, Shoes and Bubber (Joods. Fancy and Heavy Groceries. Fresh Meats in Cold Storage. Hardware, Stoves and Tinware. DEPT. H Crockery and Glassware. J Furniture. K K lectric Supplies. L Plumbing Supplies. VI Grain, Hay and Feeu Stuffs. N Paints, oils and Vainishes. O Silverware, Souvenirs and Toys. GROCERIES. We carry full lines of Fancy and Heavy Croeeries Mich brands and as sortments as are handled by New England grocers. Dry Goods and Shoes. The Dry (Joods and Shoe departments sire complete. Stock bought in Northern markets. Quality our standard for selection. Meat and Fish Market. Poultry, Game. Fish, Oysters and Meits of all kinds i-onstantly in stock. Western Meats handled in cold storage. Hats, Caps and Gents Furnishings. The latest styles of Hats, Caps and Cents Furnihing. carried in stock. Stationery. A full line of Stationery, both printed and plain, will be found in this department. The Pine Grove House PINEHURST, N. C. 0i F. ... '.,1 Id"" "V xnrt.... . ;,,t 4. . li.'-iijj,.'..- TERMS, $8.00 TO $12 TVTILL he open with home com forts such as New Hngla inl ets like for a limited number of people who are obliged by health or inclination to leave their homes for a salubrious climate such as l'iNKnrnsT, X. , can claim. For such, 1. A. FLINT, of the Stone House Farm, N. l'':A,)- iNci, Mass., (known as a pleasant place to board during the heated term) will be at the Fine (J rove House, to welcome. ,00 PER WEEK. The Outlook 4 Will be sent postpaid to any address in the United States or Canada THREE MONTHS FOR 25 CENTS. Sample copies sent on receipt of address. SUBSCRIBE NOW SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS.
The Pinehurst Outlook (Pinehurst, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Jan. 27, 1899, edition 1
6
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