PINEHDRST, N. C, MAR. 10, 1899.
PRICE THREE CENTS.
THE WIT AND WISDOM
OF MR. DOOLEY.
ing sin iirmv to c.nua r.. .
inOI'G wilflltr onH,.,,!......
- viin,u.,i.isuu man is custom
But Mr. l)Anlar ..t..S L. , .
v.v.j ,MO upiuiuus upon me urainasre
many subjects besides war. One dav
Jawn" MeKenna. the b ai-I Hfl Sir-l'P 11 f I fl thtpn snnnvoa n lnif tin1
It tender interposed in the interests of not uyetlier sad or very much in love
li-.nwi refreshment, nr. ini.nhpr inp. ents from lUmhrick lnttr rr , with ycr lot, but just lookln' on an' not
'"i1 ... .,w ju- i a iiKe to know wiuit. tv. nh;a.t f . i. ..s.i i i., t
.... v.lv v.gwi " i i.uiii u iic iiiu rusu not
Whatever dillerences of opinion there ur' such a level-headed philosopher wl, tiT , War Une Uay Futher Kell' heklndo' rin
ir.. , . . 1 ""uavimei. Wlieil the eonvPrsiitirkn utnoan di... 1 1 . . ..
miiV be as to the value of most of the re- 1IC sw,ueti to be carried off his feet win. hui. , . I iy nat ye say is tnrue
...i. f our war with Snain we htp , "dmiration. To Hennespv - " taken a nortlier- thrue,' he says. 'Hooks is fr
pnuticallv unanimous on one of them. Mend and faithful customer he remarked warinlthV.n! Ti an,t ,nJye themselve3 ,n aun.v
' ir.. m .............. "that, ir w,i ... 'V enwiked wat in w ith each other on the subject of wav.' he savs. 'If ve're in imod
ine w.u n.is sivru u" ' ,w u,e most rash na p untli-naa i
saloon-keeper, social observer, philoso- a,'-, ,,ly that ever creased its pants.
it ,.-50-i...., .....i wud be follou-pii
mici , icrt.oo Hiu) iouwiii aim i c unes ponu-1 peace.
He reports a conversation between
"inie uooseiberry and President Me
these here arctic explorations is," said rush, ye don't need books,' he says,
he. I Hi.. it ,... .i ..t..i,i it.t
uui u c ic n uu n-?ui mil tiling, an
"Hie ni'iniMIVI nUi&nt ia tnirnt virl i.. t .... ... . i
Kinlpv vvlipn tiia f...... i . ,.. 1 r- ""jvv.wrowumm waui to get away an cant ve neea
m ile) , when the foimer has received hU over-supply iv foolish people," said Mr. book. "
o'S'to t!,e ft nf Ke"en" ""d '3 10ley- "Up in Xr,Vay a"' Sweden '"'V 9il-9 1 wa8 wlnR
"1 lea,- 1 ca,a to the f,,m, I,,,. 1 ! ".'f. .B. f T. T
(loul)le-nauht-nine Archey r-road, Chi
cawo," where as lie himself declares he
is to be found "fr'm eight in the mornin'
till niidnhjlit, an' the r-rest iv the time in
the back room in the ar-rms iv Or-rphy-us."
It is all his ,lfr'ni the pitcher iv the
('lm-avro tire above the washsiutwl in tlu
" " , .... ., . I '"v , .iutw Sinn, ui is uiiuuL iiiryin 10 1 with tiieir prayer uooks tur-rneu upi
.mK.oo.u uh..c uu.c-M.cp, anuiierene yvi nuc.j, -.uepniK suk iry out a stick iv dinnymite in a kitchen down, an' they were as pious as anny.
. llv i . l)ll:limiliQ hisn f 11 I ..... . I
m-n, Mip.f.i.f, - iur, says ne, -an m j -""vcu. stove they siud him to the North Pole The Anostle's Creed niver was as convin
Ainumcans home is his castle till the "eu says 31ack, "wait fr thi.n," and feed him to the bears an' walruses." cin' to me afther I learned to r-read as it
moi-ed-e talis due. W N in anx.ous t r to ind this SpeaUing of Christmas presents, Mr. was whin I cudden't read it, but belaved
us' HC,,il,e',u' iooey u,m,JUu:uir c 8, wiuvu uu cost Dooley remarked dolefully, "I niver 0t it.M
irom ine rate at which ins little volume - 'Rv niit, ne says, -out what i w.mted an- uiver ex t tQ , IJut there is no space here to give even
oi puny comments on the war and on fwuuc. cume 10 sinua sojer onpre- gmoke the ,,est rtve ceut see.r;lr that a hint of the many wise and witty re-
many other topics is selling, the Ameri- IM't-uio uattie, ne says. "Wait f r the money can buy ; yet, whin a good friend marks of the sage Mr. Dooley on such
can puiHic is appreciating him. His
marks first appeared in the Chicago E
iny Post, and the Journal of the
city. 1 hey were copied by other news- The chief objection Mr. Dooley has to liu's an' burlap wrappers, an', if I etc., etc. The little green book is a sort
papers, but were perhaps more highly the Cubans is that thev fail to understand smoked wan an' lived, I'd be arristed fr of vade mecum. Every intelligent citizen
appreciated in Hoston than elsewhere, our civilization. "Over here, ye see, arson. I got a pair of suspinders wanst should have it at hand for frequent con
At any rate it is an enterprising: linn of freedom manes hard worruk. What is fr'm a ladv niver mind her name an' sulfation.
Hoston publishers who introduced Mr. the ambition iv all iv us, Jlinnissy? Tis I wurrked hard that day, an' the decora
Dooley to the public in book-form, avether to hold our job or to get wan. tions moved back into me, an' I had to Toughest Puddimr on Record.
Thiity thousand of these little volumes We want worruk. We must have it. take thim out with pumice stone. An' Sometime ago, writes a volunteer, I
appropriately bound in brilliant irreen D'ye ravmimber the sirn the mob carried wan year I wanted a watch, but the spent a week with a garrison battery in
have been sold, and this is only the be- in the procission last year? 'Give us nearest 1 got to it was a hair chain that a south coast fort. On the last day the
K"ff. worruk, or we perish,' it said. Now, in unraveled an made me look as if I'd sergeants sat down to an exceptionally
It is characteristic of Americans to see Cubia, whin the mobs turn out they car- been curryin' a Shetland pony." fine dinner, the crowning glory of which
the humorous as well as the serious as- ry a banner with the wurruds, 'Give us Mr. Hennesey complained that there was a large plum pudding. I had made
poet of every situation in which thev find nawthin' to do or we nerish.' Whin we were too many books in his house. "Y'e the pudding two days before, had it
themselves. And thr uml- Mnii'titriit Uiirr tn rot. tb Cnbi.-m to vvnrmlv he'll can't tur-rn around without stumblin' boiled, and now, reheated, it made its ap-
nonetheless grimly and doggedly be- say, 'Whv shud I? I haven't committed over thim. I found the life iv an ex-con- pearance amid the welcome shouts of my
cause they can laugli between whiles. It anny crime.' " vict, the 'Prisoner of Zinders,' in me high brother warriors ; aim i uurai.j u
ther day, where Mary Ann was Pua or it, ior i naun t uwu ouiy
,meri- P-u to oattie, ne says. -Wait t r the money can buy ; yet, whin a good friend marks of the sage Mr. Dooley on such
is re- lU:i'inas,' he says. "Thin on to war," iv mine wants to make me a prisint fr burning questions of the day as golf,
Even- Silvs; "Mi' let your watchword be Christinas, he goes to a harness-shop an' football, gold-seeking, the new woman,
same 'Itoyiniinher yer Manners,' he says." buvs fl box iv see-gars with excelsior fil- expert testimony, the Dreyfus case, etc.,
duly tried to
Lve you boiled
regimental iooioaii; aKeu
"Where did you get the flour from?"
was a well thumbed ronv nf IVrrnlpmn Mr. T)nlpr was verv nroud of his hat the othe
V. Xiisbv's "LpttPi- 1Y.IIII rh r..ru,inf L.mnitifa .wiifprPinpntJ in tlip w:ir. but. hidin' it fr'm her sister. Instead iv the cook for nothing.
X KNciiis." tii.it- .U.......UI .. vi , i .o ,-av,avA i.an it urna mII pliilrfher fiffhtin' and skvlarkin' in the "Jeeins migiiiy nam,
vfvv ujiicu tt, IlliltC Ul 11U1JUI 1111 UllV v.- mvn- i'viv" .u "... o . I -r t, ,. .,l,r fi.trul fr
in President. m,.Im ,il- ,i. t iw, I ,m hp. evenin'. they're settin' around the table pergeant a,u., ua c
nwwt ii..... " i.... .. until thPir noSP cri.ied into hook. stick his fork into it. "Have you boiled
" i iujc ua s oi me UV11 war. Jie "lllls Wiir, iiiunissv, ims uccu a fi''M o i , ..i..u
l:iiitri..ui i.: , s 'iv. fi.o cff0,in' Ti.pv'ra nsin' me cravats fr book-marks. s a cannon oau, diuwu .
Bv-iuici a ui iiiuiscii aim sometimes suiraiii on inc. i" ummii u",-"u . , .,
lio .. i r , . . . . . .. t-i. i... f i flioro'c tin inivmint in tlie honsp." I UI he
"vivamium iuo ins caoinet ana thev l ve enuureu: r r wceh i w(y i u jj
toughed over it Unrnhor. it.it. ir is ,,at. imrhts fearin' that the Spanish Ar-nnadil- "Tis all wrong," said Mr. Dooley. another.
mi .i. ,. . I . .,,....!. .... T...a id-imie iviiArti "Thpu'vfi on v three DooKS in tne wurruia
.v.v wii mat muse earnest men uiu 10 u lave ine t ..v.. - j .tj aw.,ini vimltli
tl.ni . .. : ,.pnf1in'.Shakeseare. the Rible. questioned bergeant bmith.
-uih any less eilectivelv because it wasn t, an niheuie uuuuuumiwou .. , 7 - i, ,.atnrtoA "Wnm
mey stopped a moment now and then to hurrl death an' destruction into me little an MiKe Aiieain uisim .v ugu. -
let. Yi i ... i ... .. .... urt .i..,, ti, nitiipes tipu's- I have Shakespeare on thrust, Father owiv .u. u, ui u..
l,uu wipneus k,. jerr aim ar- store. iu mC w.v - -- - , , uThp Hpupp von did?" roared the Ouar-
people have been plungin into v r . . T wua ... cement!'
And so it proved. That pudding is
now preserved in the battery museum.
t'. Ward point out to them some of ,MVer extlnies eume oot and bet down Kelly Mwta the m I r me, an ,! -j ' ;,nien ,lang
Uiu humor. r ,i. , .... .... v. i,,r to Tiddv lioseulelt didn't bay Mike Ahearas histhry be- teimastei heigeant. inen .a
And .so , ,: ;:, :;.: : ., ,... , . ,,; aml,s,,de9 a,.' Verity W e I ..e than he eud put into J .- '
- .txivi i.llU IVUlJlt lllt.V UlVU llllln'" - I . 1 1 T I ! 1 lPtTlPnrT"
"ttly gra-eful to Mr. Dooley tor giv wars; but d'ye hear iv Martin Dooley, it. Tne on y oooks . seen wa u e k uu
.hen. an opirtunlty to laU!Ih at the man behind the guns-fonr thousan' that has the hfe of the Po? on the out-
themsplvow ,,1. ii.sn.i thim .-ind willin' to be fur- side an" a set or aominos on uie insme.
-nnntted iueouneetion with the Span- the,? There -- 'h in'' 4,
w.uv, awu. uiey win uo more to iiigiuij"""
KP down our inflated estiuu
Ues than a book-shelf full
niiu .!.:.!.. . i ... ii, f.fiir iv
..m- 51,1 wining - uhPrp'sno life in a book. If ye want knew it wouldn't!
e ar-re a yreut. upoiwp" said Mr. written, they 11 punt uie t, ' .... .. ... ,fi.a ni.A)lt,r,vh!lt id vou take it
,, o i ... cprvnns v to SHOW panic hiwi iix 10 mim w vjiiw . -
-iickv K rnnsr i km.r 7? o.ni I iirnn niiMi . i.iie iuw""
ill do more to inglo,Tous na man, is desthruetive iv morals, lhad it Mr. Grou
limate of our- dan, mute ayethe.. s ;.itn Fllther Kelly the other day on rheumatism
,11 of ponde, jnsti e dj. j matthe, iife do ye saysays mended did,,-
That lie Might Gloat.
Grouty (triumphantly; uuu
cure Aunt Fanny recom-
t do nie a bit of good, and I
around thim. There's more life for, then?
a Saturday night in the Ar-rchy Mr. Grouty Just to show Aunt anny
wceawieuwuiT r-r- ..w.urp to the ravnnrt vPuc1c.
r ....... i. .. . .. . .... """"v,-i
m,"m active preparations for dispatch-1 flincnm .
fir. Dooley. "We ar-re that. An' the disturbed, an' thim thet have borne thim- loo
bt iv it is, we know we ar-re." silves well an' bravely, an' paid the taxes on
M i.... .. . . .i i II,. .imvsnnil'S WlthOUt 1-U
" "en the country was in the midst of an'
.irtliwv.-., o J -111
thin in ail the books, fr'm that she doesn't know everything.