VOL. IX; NO 18.
SATURDAY MORNING, MARCH THIRTY-FIRST, 1906.
PRICE FIVE CENTS
MAKES ALL GOOD NAMED
Second Annual Minstrel Show Delights
Two Big Audiences.
Local Hits Innumerable, 51 any Sur
pi-laes and Merriment Unlimited
the Feature.
ti fm
HE attendance at the an
nual minstrel show in
the Village Hall, Tuesday
and Wednesday evenings,
was limited only by the
capacity of the hall, and
no more fitting tribute to the excellence
of the performance can be given. From
start to finish there was snap and go,
splendid chorus work, good solos, witty
local hits by the score, and numerous
surprises. Encores were the rule through
out, and everybody left the hall feeling
good-natured.
The program opened with a medley
overture, "In the Land of Cotton," by the
company, the curtain rising upon the
usual circle, with Interlocutor P. J.
Ward, resplendent in white, in the centre,
Hanked by members of the chorus, in
sombre evening dress, relieved by a dash
of red at the vest; the tambos, Baxter,
Carroll, Ellis and Hills on the right; and
tli" bones, White, Murphy, MeNab and
Abbott on the left.
The first number was "Nobody," by
William White, followed by "Would You
Care," by Bert Craig. Carl Abbott sang
"lias Krown,1 William Murphy "Gene
vieve," and Charles L. Baxter "Sym
pathy ;M the first part ending with the
ludicrous "Helen-Hunt' two step; a
cornet solo with "accompaniment' by
I be "Smoke Brass Band."'
The olio included a clever sketch, "A
l ew Idle Comments," by Baxter and
White, and for an encore they rendered
the hit of the evening in their dual song,
UA Few Whys." There were a dozen
verses, each giving a sly poke at some
local individual or condition, and a triple
curtain call was the result. This is what
t hey sang:
What would happen if our Thomas li
Should make the golf course in say, seventy
three? Then wouldn't his smile be pleasant to see?
Why? Why? Why?
Why's it that no one ever sees Triest
When his coat isn't pressed or trousers creased?
Why is it that of all, he kicks the least?
Why? Why? Why?
Why can't Creamer excellent golf play
When he's at it the best part of the day?
And never lets his work stand in the way !
Why? Why? Why? !
Why does Abbott assume a wild air
And his big hands run through his bushy hair?
He's awfully nice, but why does he glare?
Why? Why? Why?
Why did Ross let the British drop in
Play around the course; walk off with the tin?
Really wasnt' this act an awful sin?
Why? Why? Why?
Why is it Foot has got such a cinch
That he can all the fine golf prizes pinch?
Surely his pull is a bit like Judge Lynch !
Why? Why? Why?
Why do women on putting greens wear
Why don't Merrow buy him a steam yacht
A horee that can trot in two minutes Hat?
II wouldn't mind the small expense of that !
Why? Why? Why?-
Why is it stamps don't sell for ten cents
To keen in line with the prices and rents?
Why don't the hotels room their guesU in tents?
Why? Why? Why?
Why have doctors here nothing to do?
Simply because the sick people are few.
Perhaps that is why fees upward they screw?
Why? Why? Wrhy?
Why don't we keep right on with this song?
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MISS JULIA R. MIX, ENGLEWOOD GOLF CLUB.
Miss Mix was the gold medal winner in the qualillcation round of the sixth annual
championship tournament for women, Thursday.
High heeled 6hoes that the line smoothness im
pair?
Are there also hob nail imprints seen there?
Why? Why? Why?
Why don't genial Jimmy MeNab
Right over his desk put up a big slab :
'.'Oh, please don't give me so much mie gao.'
Why? Why? Why?
Why don't Mundy take some of his nags
And upon them display plainly marked tags;
When you ride this beast Int'rest never mgsi
Why? Why? Why?
Simply because we'll be dead very long,
And we're some afraid of hammer and tong !
Why? Why? Why?
Thomas Taylor (Doctor Dose M. All),
and Willie Hills (his unwilling patient),
next gave a ludicrous doctor's office scene,
"A lied Hot Massage," concluding the
first half.
The second and last half of the pro
gram was an amusing farce, "The Baby
Concluded on page three.)
STATE CHAMPIONSHIP SHOOT
Miss M. H. Water-house, the Title Holder,
Leads Field Easily.-
ITnlted Htatcn llevulvr Aoclutlon
Annual Characterized hy Marked
JEiitliUKlaftiii.
HE second annual United
States Revolver Associa
tion State Championship
shoot, which occupied
KSI the week nast. was char-
jiptpi-i.i'd bv marked en
thusiasm, keen interest and a good field
of contestants; a gratifying indication of
local interest in the sport.
"Buck fever" was evident, but the in
fection was equally distributed, and while
it lowered the scores considerably it gave
a special interest to the contest which
ordinary events lack. The national as
sociation medals loomed up large and
clear, and it was difficult, indeed, to get
them out of mind, even with thebullseye
in line with the sights. And the result
was that hands trembled visibly and
hearts thumped loud.
Miss M. M. Water-house of Centreville,
R. 1., the title holder, led the field easily
with a score of 313, her nearest opponent
being Miss Florence McNeely of Phila
delphia, who made 198. A. E. Kirk-
patrick of Toronto, was third in 175, and
Mrs. Leonard Tufts of Med ford, Mass.,
who won second place last year, was
fourth in 151. Dr. F. T. Hyde of Boston,
made 10G, and Walter Terry of Ansonia,
Ct., 57.
the scores:
Miss Waterhouse,
Miss McNeely,
Mr. Kirk patrick,
Mrs. Tufts,
Dr. Hyde,
Mr. Terry,
61 66 C6 60 60313
32 29 33 T 28198
27 27 21 48 52 175"
18 21) 4fi 30 37151
25 18 26 2) 17-106
U 16 IS 10 4 57
THE CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP.
Mr. Kirkpatrick and Miss Waterhouse
were the winners of the Club Champion
ship shoot, Mr. Kirkpatrick scoring 272
and Miss Waterhouse 267.
.Mr. Thompion'a Departure.
Among the departures of the week
which cause regret is that of Mr. Aug.
P. Thompson of Honesdale, Pa., who
has spent the winter here with his family.
Mr. Thompson has been active in sports
out of doors and he leaves behind a host
of pleasant acquaintances.