VOL. IX; NO 18. SATURDAY MORNING, MARCH THIRTY-FIRST, 1906. PRICE FIVE CENTS MAKES ALL GOOD NAMED Second Annual Minstrel Show Delights Two Big Audiences. Local Hits Innumerable, 51 any Sur pi-laes and Merriment Unlimited the Feature. ti fm HE attendance at the an nual minstrel show in the Village Hall, Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, was limited only by the capacity of the hall, and no more fitting tribute to the excellence of the performance can be given. From start to finish there was snap and go, splendid chorus work, good solos, witty local hits by the score, and numerous surprises. Encores were the rule through out, and everybody left the hall feeling good-natured. The program opened with a medley overture, "In the Land of Cotton," by the company, the curtain rising upon the usual circle, with Interlocutor P. J. Ward, resplendent in white, in the centre, Hanked by members of the chorus, in sombre evening dress, relieved by a dash of red at the vest; the tambos, Baxter, Carroll, Ellis and Hills on the right; and tli" bones, White, Murphy, MeNab and Abbott on the left. The first number was "Nobody," by William White, followed by "Would You Care," by Bert Craig. Carl Abbott sang "lias Krown,1 William Murphy "Gene vieve," and Charles L. Baxter "Sym pathy ;M the first part ending with the ludicrous "Helen-Hunt' two step; a cornet solo with "accompaniment' by I be "Smoke Brass Band."' The olio included a clever sketch, "A l ew Idle Comments," by Baxter and White, and for an encore they rendered the hit of the evening in their dual song, UA Few Whys." There were a dozen verses, each giving a sly poke at some local individual or condition, and a triple curtain call was the result. This is what t hey sang: What would happen if our Thomas li Should make the golf course in say, seventy three? Then wouldn't his smile be pleasant to see? Why? Why? Why? Why's it that no one ever sees Triest When his coat isn't pressed or trousers creased? Why is it that of all, he kicks the least? Why? Why? Why? Why can't Creamer excellent golf play When he's at it the best part of the day? And never lets his work stand in the way ! Why? Why? Why? ! Why does Abbott assume a wild air And his big hands run through his bushy hair? He's awfully nice, but why does he glare? Why? Why? Why? Why did Ross let the British drop in Play around the course; walk off with the tin? Really wasnt' this act an awful sin? Why? Why? Why? Why is it Foot has got such a cinch That he can all the fine golf prizes pinch? Surely his pull is a bit like Judge Lynch ! Why? Why? Why? Why do women on putting greens wear Why don't Merrow buy him a steam yacht A horee that can trot in two minutes Hat? II wouldn't mind the small expense of that ! Why? Why? Why?- Why is it stamps don't sell for ten cents To keen in line with the prices and rents? Why don't the hotels room their guesU in tents? Why? Why? Why? Why have doctors here nothing to do? Simply because the sick people are few. Perhaps that is why fees upward they screw? Why? Why? Wrhy? Why don't we keep right on with this song? f ' I ! 1 , i w I 1 ' i ;:' . r L I 7 1 i ' if i i 9M p. MISS JULIA R. MIX, ENGLEWOOD GOLF CLUB. Miss Mix was the gold medal winner in the qualillcation round of the sixth annual championship tournament for women, Thursday. High heeled 6hoes that the line smoothness im pair? Are there also hob nail imprints seen there? Why? Why? Why? Why don't genial Jimmy MeNab Right over his desk put up a big slab : '.'Oh, please don't give me so much mie gao.' Why? Why? Why? Why don't Mundy take some of his nags And upon them display plainly marked tags; When you ride this beast Int'rest never mgsi Why? Why? Why? Simply because we'll be dead very long, And we're some afraid of hammer and tong ! Why? Why? Why? Thomas Taylor (Doctor Dose M. All), and Willie Hills (his unwilling patient), next gave a ludicrous doctor's office scene, "A lied Hot Massage," concluding the first half. The second and last half of the pro gram was an amusing farce, "The Baby Concluded on page three.) STATE CHAMPIONSHIP SHOOT Miss M. H. Water-house, the Title Holder, Leads Field Easily.- ITnlted Htatcn llevulvr Aoclutlon Annual Characterized hy Marked JEiitliUKlaftiii. HE second annual United States Revolver Associa tion State Championship shoot, which occupied KSI the week nast. was char- jiptpi-i.i'd bv marked en thusiasm, keen interest and a good field of contestants; a gratifying indication of local interest in the sport. "Buck fever" was evident, but the in fection was equally distributed, and while it lowered the scores considerably it gave a special interest to the contest which ordinary events lack. The national as sociation medals loomed up large and clear, and it was difficult, indeed, to get them out of mind, even with thebullseye in line with the sights. And the result was that hands trembled visibly and hearts thumped loud. Miss M. M. Water-house of Centreville, R. 1., the title holder, led the field easily with a score of 313, her nearest opponent being Miss Florence McNeely of Phila delphia, who made 198. A. E. Kirk- patrick of Toronto, was third in 175, and Mrs. Leonard Tufts of Med ford, Mass., who won second place last year, was fourth in 151. Dr. F. T. Hyde of Boston, made 10G, and Walter Terry of Ansonia, Ct., 57. the scores: Miss Waterhouse, Miss McNeely, Mr. Kirk patrick, Mrs. Tufts, Dr. Hyde, Mr. Terry, 61 66 C6 60 60313 32 29 33 T 28198 27 27 21 48 52 175" 18 21) 4fi 30 37151 25 18 26 2) 17-106 U 16 IS 10 4 57 THE CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP. Mr. Kirkpatrick and Miss Waterhouse were the winners of the Club Champion ship shoot, Mr. Kirkpatrick scoring 272 and Miss Waterhouse 267. .Mr. Thompion'a Departure. Among the departures of the week which cause regret is that of Mr. Aug. P. Thompson of Honesdale, Pa., who has spent the winter here with his family. Mr. Thompson has been active in sports out of doors and he leaves behind a host of pleasant acquaintances.