Newspapers / The Pinehurst Outlook (Pinehurst, … / Jan. 22, 1916, edition 1 / Page 15
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mi 15 THE PINEHURST outlook smmjmk PACTS, FABLES, STATISTICS (Continued from page one) ' tlame for the signal success of the meet ing where it rightly belonged, upon the ladies. He wondered down the fair fields of philosophy and into the dangerous abysses of humor, and came through unscathed. R. L. "Whitten, president of the league 's Summer frolic at Hot Springs, sounded the tocsin for that mighty event, and ex tended an urgent summons for all to attend. He was followed by Grantland Rice, trophy lifter, whose rejoicing took the form of sweet poetry, in the following fashion: "When Cleopatra, wise old girl, Got gay one night and drank a pearl All frugal folks cried out, "for shame" Bu,t marvelled at her just the same. And she was right and she was' wise To thus get in and advertise. , W. Irwin. Lou Hamilton said " Holy Smoke, My golf game is an awful jokel I'm 97 yards off line, I could not break a ninety -nine. " Whereat his rival said "poor loon, You get six strokes this afternoon." And Lou was right and Lou was wTise To thus get in and advertise. Said Hi Green as he shed a tear, "My game is turrible this year. Each shot from drive to putt I muss All I can do in par is cuss." Whereat the genial committee Doubled his handicap in pity. And Hi was right and Hi was wise To thus get in and advertise. OUT OF THE TRENCHES Oh, fellow dubs, I bring glad news To you who've missed your shots and booze, ' ' Good old Hank Ford has kept his word And fitted up an Oscar Third. The good ship now looms up the glen Where Pinehurst gets its peace again For he has gone down in his jeans To stop the war of lifted beans, To get the boys here, in their blight, Out of the trenches Saturday night. BALLAD OF GOLFERS Upon the tee in stern array , Pop Freeman swung a mighty blow, And then I saw his body sway, I And then I watched the golf ball go, Just where it went I do not know. "Oh Hell," I heard him loudly call But cheer up Pop and cease thy woo, ,Into the trap go one and all. George Hammesfahr I watched today, A stalwart knight with face aglow, But when he swung I turned away, I could not see him suffer so. He spoke as one might to a foe, "Say, Caddie, where is that damned ball?" The Caddie answered languid, slow "Into the trap with one and all." Bon Parker's hair is turning gray, Hi Mallinson's dull heart-aches grow And Roy Barnhill, him once so gay, Now sadly counts his vanished dough. For these life once had April's glow But now the winds of Pinehurst call. Whether they , pitch 'em high or low Into the traps went one and all. So fellow players, as you go, Shoot clean and straight, for in the thrall Of golf, or life, at each bum blow Into the traps go one and all. THE DOLEFUL DOMINIE And now your orator, faithful to the last, transcribing for a grateful posterity the minutes of this immortal meeting, is grossly at fault. His sin being an un familiarity with Scotch as she is spok, either by the Bonnie Bonnie Heather or in Pinehurst, this pleasant State of North Carolina. Were that not the case you should be given a treat as rare and as amusing as that sustained by the Winter Golf League when Marshall Whitlock pro ceeded to recount the divers experiences of certain friends of his in the Highlands. Even shorn of its frame and its color, told in the sad English of the streets, one of these stories may still serve to adorn a tale. It appeasr the Dominie and the Juuge were put up at a little inn for the night. And next morning the Dominie addressed the ball in such manner as to lead to the conclusion that he had something heavy upon his mind. Pressed for an explana tion he inquired if the judge had ob served the very fetching damsel who served about the place. He had. Well, a most distressing thing had occurred. Indeed, nothing less than that this for ward beauty had volunteered to kiss hitu, a parson. Of course he had rebuffed her severely, but it had weighed on his mind. "And what would you have done, judge, under such circumstances?" "Just what you did, Dominie, but I would not have lied about it. ' ' He also retailed a dream he had. He died. And was amazed to find a great concourse of people crowdin around a golf course of the Beyond, in great excitement. He approached Donald Rosss, who seemed a leader in the place, and inquired the cause of all this commotion. "Oh," says Donald, "it is the usual thing the Advertising Golfers, and there are 73 ties for low scores." pop freeman's valedictory Leonard Tufts, host of the evening, ex pressed the welcome with which the vil lage always heralded the coming of the league, and the gratitude felt towards them by Pinehurst for their influence anl association. Pop Freeman wound up this pleasant- est of all evenings witn a stout ana spirited defence of a hard year's work, and a story of a helping hand. Glory be. THE VILLAGE CtOSSIP XContimied from page three) New York, Rodman Wannamaker and the neighboring gentry; the village belle and the Fuller girls, and the Duke of Samarcand, June the Magnificent and King Henry 2d. The favors were of solid ivory, and the dancing three days out of date. C. G. Loring, the Boston architect, is down here superintending the building of Walter H. Page's new residence just out side of town. The girls have gone back to college after the holidays. If I'm to stay you'll have to hurry back. Yours, etc., Duke of Aberdeen" p. S. Priscilla Beall has arrived. No hurry about coming back. JF Timely lAord of Caution About the Use of Humus On Your Gordon and Lawn ADM1TEDLY, humus is the very backbone of any soil's fertility; without it the ground is sterile. But most deposits of humus found in their watery bed, are acid and entirely devoid of the bacteria so essential to fertility. Their use is dangerous. Reports from all over the country tell of harmful effects. The grass on one of the finest golf courses, near Philadelphia, has been totally killed by its use. Unless the moisture is mechanically driven out, such humus contains 85 per cent, of water, for which you pay humus rates, making the water come rather high. As far as we tian learn, Alphano Humus is the only humus that goes through a process of preparation cov- $12 a ton in bags, by the carload AlpKano H ering months, and resulting in a sweet, dry, finely granulated humus, to which has been added concentrated plant foods in abundance, to make ona ton of it worth four to five of ordinary stable manure. In addition to all this, it is also liberally inoculated with Alphano No culant, makng it lively with at least seven different nitrogen gathering and soil food liberation bacteria. ' It is free from weed seeds, sanitary and odorless. For your garden, your shrubs, and lawn it is ideal. But make sure you are sure it is Alphano Humus you buy. The Humus with .an established reputation of 10 years as your guarantee. Send for the Alphano Book. $8 a ton in bulk, by the carload L Established 1905 17-N Battery Place NEW YORK M J Golf Established 1894 The Oldest Golf Magazine in the Country Start your Subscription with the January Issue $3.00 a Year $5.00 Two Years 286 FMftH Azo, NEW YORIC !
The Pinehurst Outlook (Pinehurst, N.C.)
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Jan. 22, 1916, edition 1
15
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