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THE WESTERN . VI NDIOATOR, RUTHERFORDTON, NORTH CAROLINA, JUNE 14, 1869. VOL. 2. NO. 14. WESTERN VINDICATOR, Monday Morning, Jnne 14, 1809. Advertising Hates : One Square, ten lines . . r.A aiiuanuoTt inHrtrtion . $1 00 60 Jidtll D - Liberal rates to monthly and yearly Bdyertisers. Agents for the Vindicator. The following gentlemen are author ised agents for the Western Vindi cator : Capt. W. D. Jones, Patterson, N. C. Tiddy & Brother. Charlotte, L. M. Logan, Shelby, S. S. Ross, Limestone Springs, S. t. O. D. Carrier, Traveling Agent. II. D. C. Roberts, Stocksville, N. C. ABACHELOR'S STORY. A Iay on Cherry Monn tain Twenty Years Ago. Written xpressly for the Vindicator. " I promised to tell you a story this evening didl?" Well, what kind of a story ?" "A tale of true love !" "Shocking! What does a young mischief like you know about love ?" "Got a beau two beaux already!" " Worse and worse bound to die an old maid certain to do it. But tell Jim to wheel my lounge out on the piazza, and bring my pipe, tobacco, and a match. Now, stow yourself and traps here by me, where I can blow smoke in your eyes, and I'll tell you what hap pened the last time I went to Cherry Mountain. It was in June, 1840, the brightest day in the month, and we were the merriest sot of mortals that ever made the annual excursion from Rutherford ton to Owen's farm. Let me see, there woro five carriages, two or three bug gies, eight saddle-horses, and a provis ion wagon, making quite a respectable cavalcade, as you may suppose. There were ladies from Greenville, York Dis trict, Morganton, Asheville and Lenoir ; tasides, about a dozen of as pretty girls from old Rutherford, as ever looked in a tO) lot glua , U Bon, mM -vro some gentlemen from a distance, but I have forgotten where. We wero thirty nino in all, and very agreeably paired 1F, I believe, though that was not ma terial after we had assembled ; for by unanimous consent it was resolvod to prohibit formality, exclude tho exclu sive, and haTo a general frolic, dance and dinner, besides cherries. It was particularly enjoined on all lovers to behave like rational people, and not go wandering about through the woods like the " two poor kittens" that had lost their mittens." I made this rulo myself, because I happened not to have a sweetheart. And it had been my observation that all the more attractive ladies manage to escapo with their beaux on such occasions, leaving the sober or stupid folks to be entertained by luckless individuals like myself. Why did'nt I have a sweetheart too Don't bo inquisitive, child! The truth is, my nurse took a dislike to me, and traded mo off for a bad-lookm baby when I was quite small, and the ladies never seemed to fancy me after that. Tho acknowledged belle of our par ty was Miss Lillian Lancaster, fiom Iaurcns District, South Carolina. She was nearly nineteen, a beauty and an heiress, tho pet of a father long pas tho meridian of life, who had laid up much money, goods and chattels ; and his spleudid estate added a cool ten thousand a year to Lid cash account at Columbia. I usod to meet tho old Col oncl occasionally in Greenville or New berry, but ho confined himself pretty closely at home. It was a magnificent place on the Saluda, and furnished like u palace. Lillian was his only child, and I dare say the only surviving object of affection in the old man's heart, lie denied her nothing, and lavished whatover wealth could purchase, or ed ucation bestow, upon her mind and manners. It was but natural that such a training, joined to tho ancestral pride of a family that traced its lineage amid the nobility of England, should have their eilect on the young beauty. She grew up to bo a law unto herself, to command, and to bo obeyed. Her bearing was never haughty, but her will was imperious, and when checked it swelled into a storm of passion. And in her impatience, she frequently forgot that she had no right to en croach upon tho freedom of others. But for all that Lillian Lancaster was not greatly spoiled. Sho was nei ther extravagant nor vain; and her sympathy fur feufferiii-' botrnvcd tho truo womanly, "light-wood at heart, it only needed kindling. For instance, sho used to bo particularly kind to poor Fab Martin, a clevor, sensible sort of a fellow, and well-bred, buc not worth a dollar, as everybody knew, and ho even had to black his own boots they said. Lillian didn't care for that though. She liked him all the better because of it I suppose. Women always havo ridiculous notions. Did I tell you that Miss Lancaster was up in Rutherford on a visit to sister Maude? They were schoolmates at Limestone, quarreled, made up, and vowed never to do so any more. Of course they became the best of friends afterwards. The number of kisses they wasted on one v another gavo me the headache. As you may suppose, I escorted Lil lie to Cherry Mountain. Wo had a pleasant drive, reached the top of the mountain by 11 o'clock, and pitched our camp near the famous spring in the grove, where so many pic-nic par ties have since camped. The ladies selected the shadiest spots to locate their wrappings and trinkets, while the gentlemen put off to fill their baskets with ripenod cherries in the adjacent orchard. Meanwhile, I went with the servants and procured a lot of plank from tho farm house. We then chose a place on the spring branch, where the banks were about twelve feet apart, laid poles across, and the plank on them, and made a splendid platform for dancing. Old uncle Jink, the "cel ebrated extractor of harmonious melo dy, from horse hair and cat gut," or in other words, the fiddler, took his seat on the head of an inverted barrel, pre paratory for giving the order, "All hands round." By this time the gen tlemen were returned with full baskets of luscious fruit, and after tho usual merry-making, over "twins," triplets and " Straddle-bugs," the ladies put off their huge pic-nic hats, and tho dan cing began. Did I dance ? Yes, child, (puff) I used to dance (get me a match will you) occasionally, but (puff) an infernal yankee bullet (puff) stopped all that at (puff) Seven I'lnea. ...... The cleverest fellow on the mountain I that day, besides myself of course, was ohn Paul Iloward, Attorney at; jaw, ana j-iocai uirector, ior tn3 Dig Deep and Get Nothing" Gold Mining Company. He was a queer character a natural paradox a sort of cross between TIot-6pur and n Swiss. You could wound his sensitive ness as easily as you could punch a fiolo in a cob-web ; but only those who knew him, intimately, were aware of the torrent that boiled under the smooth ice of his manner. He was of a cood family, descended from the Marvland Howards, and as proud as Lucifer, al- though he didn't own land enough to make a cabbago patch, and bad no ne- Eroea. Iloward was a fool about that.' There's no sen in trvins to play the " Prince of Denmark" in patched pant- aloons, and I used to tell him so. "Paul, my friend," I would say, "you are ambitious and anxious to take a high stand in public affairs. You have talents and application, and will rise as fast as ought to bo expected ; but miud what I tell you, you can't fly, and you'll find it precicu3 hard labor to climb the hill of fame on stilts. Take it a foot, Paul, take it a foot!" He i ... .1 wouia merely smilo and change the suoject. e were great friends ; m iact, l was about th3 only mtimato lriend he had. Nearly every pleasant evening, in tho summer time, ire sat to remain long ignorant of her admi out on this identical piazza, practicing rer's character. But because I ex fantasias, he with a flute, Maude with ner guitar, and 1 with my violin. Bo- tween us, wo made firstrate music, and had all tho darkeys on the plantation lor an audience. But shortly after Miss Lancaster arrived. Paul suddenly ceased his vis- as u wo na all bad the plague. Only once could I persuade him to join us in a game of whist, and an impromptu concert as ot old, and I could not ac- count for it until it came out that some silly gossip had reported that Paul Iloward was terribly smitten with either ineiortuno or lace of tho "Palmetto J nowever, we were all thrown togeth- er at Lheny Mountain, and the way Cupid scattered his arrows that day as a caution to old bachelors. Lillian xairiy uazzied us with her joyous mirth anu beauty, bhe was just at that ripe age when old mother nature lays her last loving touch upon tho rounded form and radiant lovelinyss of her queenly daughter, ere sha sends her over tho threshold of vouth. into the matrimonial market, hcro great, roujrh men walk about, and select wives, or housekeepers, as the case may be. In height and development sho was a model for a statue ; from the crown ing glory of her wavering hair, to the dainty gaiter boot that made little prints in the sand for the admiration of the boys, and the envy of feminine un derstandings. Her eves were large, lustrous, and ever changing as a ga zelle. Her pretty hands and shoulders were as white and plump as well, yours, for instance ! 11a ! ha ! I'm an old goose, am I ? Ah ! yes ; it does seem so now, but I thought differently then. Did I fall in love with Lillian ? '- (ruff.) Well,- not exactly"; (puff) that is, I believe 1 did rather like the girl. But (puff) bleSs me, I daro say .she (puff) never dreamed of it. All love ends in smoke, they say; but (puff) I'd have given up smoking for Lillio Lancaster, I expect My pipe and I are good friends, to be sure, but sometimes a person likes company you know. We danced all morning. Every body was in the best of humors. Tho music and graceful confusion of the co tillion had an exhilarating effect on tho ladies, to say nothing ot the brandied fruits that were handed around between the sets, while f onie of the gentlemen came provided with spirits, more potent than those of the " vasty deep," and they communed with said spirits pretty often. It is possible that one of these gentlemen was your uncle. At any rate, we were all delightfully jolly, when aunt Dinah announced that "vit- uls wur reddy." The table was spread on tho grass, in a dense shade, and there were enough sweetmeats, "chick en fixins," and cold biscuit to feed a regiment. Paul and Lillian happened to be ; partners in the last set, and conso- ; quently formed a couple at the table. I had observed them both pretty close ly during tho morning, and was a trifle annoyed by Lillie's manifest pleasure in Paul's attentions. He was dignified and roserved as usual, but thero was a peculiar tenderness in hs oyqt xrhtyn tuey in ex ners, that appeared to me to be excessively silly. Not that I was the least bit jealous, of course not ; but if I had been he, I would have been more attentive to the other ladies, per haps. There was a young upstart in Ruth erford society that year by the name of Poindexter Augustus Jefferson Foin dexter aged 23, a fop and a fool. A wealthy father was his sole capital. He invested it in ignorance, brass and j j rri n 1 T Pe- w tta rnished him with greater lacilities for makmS an 1138 of imseU than 13 possible to estimate." But if Gus Poindexter was prop- erly appreciated by most of his associ- ates, he had weighty considerations in his favor with the fair sex. His mag- nificent span of blooded horses, his profuse liberality, his innumerable schemes for general amusement, and his never-failing fund of small talk, were not to be lightly overlooked in the pleasant summer weather, when some sort of diversion was positively indis- pensable. Consequently, Gus had very good reason to flatter himself that he w as next to irresistible as a lover, and without a rival, as a ladies man. ne had taken a violent fancy to Lillie, at first sight, and endeavored to mcnopoliza her society whenever he could. She had too much woman's wit pressed surprise at her tolerating his eternal nonsense, she declared herself "quite partial to Mr. Poindexter, and was 8Ure he was a very clever fellow, g0 kina ana considerate) and his man ners were so agreeable, and he never concerned himself about what was none cf his concern," and so on. And she forthwith took the stupid goose into high favor, for no other reason in the world but to tease me; just liko a wo man though ! But Gus was hiViilv elated bv the thought that ho hr.d positively made an impression the conceited puppy And you may imagine how he relished Paul's attention to Lillian the morning of the excursion. I noticed that he was exasperated, and drinking deeply. and was not very much at a loss to di vine the cause of it. After dinner wo had wine, licrh domestic Cordials, prepared at home. and every one around the table permit ted their glasses to be filled, excen Paul, who politely declined. Some one oxnostulated. said, it would never do to I break ho magic circlo j every gcntlo man must, silently pledge' the lady he loved best ladies vice terta ; nothing else would prevent a thunder storm that afternoon, and much, more in the same strain. But Paul ; was resolute. It was " not that ho objected to the generous juice of the grape," he said, "but because of a pledge to one who was very dear to him.1 "Oh! pray, do tell us, is this incomparable fruit of yours masculine or feminine, Mr. How ard?" asked a gay chatter-box from the lower end of the table, who was suspected of entertaining, a lively pen chant for the young Attorney. "A lady friend, MissMarshall, and as you say, incomparable indeed in zny estimation,1' he repligtJjgravelj, with a shade of annoyance on his features. " Complimentary to the ladies pres ent !" bawled out Poindexter, who had usurped the post of honor, under the pretence of dispensing roast turkey. He had by this time grown almost wild from the influence of liquor and jeal ousy, besides being much, irritated by a remark of Paul's in the morning, that " no wiell-bred person would come into the presence of ladies with tho fumes of bad whiskey on his breath." " You probably mistake me sir !" " It seems we have all mistaken you for a gentleman," retorted Gus. All eyes instantly turned towards Paul, and I trembled for the effect of this unpro voked insult, although I knew him better than any of tha . others. His lips quivered for a second, and then settled into marble firmness, ad he qui etly answered, " I trust, sir, that all do not hold your opinion. Let us change the subject, if you please." Lillian was amazed. Would Paul Howard quietly pocket such an affront as that ? Her hot, chivalrous' temper fired at the thought ! A vivid blush rushed to her cheek and revealed her rising impatience. Without reflecting a moment she ber,an to desnise him for a coward But to break thj unpleas- ant silence that ensued, I proposed a toast " The Matrimonial Union, now and forever, two and inseparable !" A general laugh greeted the toast, and Lillian, who had. emptied part of before the colloquy just mentioned, now placed it in his hands, saying, with an air cf petulance : " Here, you perverse creature ; I have divided with you : dare to disobey me, and we shall go to war immediately ." He smiled, but replaced the goblet un tasted. " Excuse me, Miss Lancaster my word is pledged but I will fill j glass of Nature's purer distillatT6a, fresh from the spring, which will do as well to prove my loyal obedience." The moment he arose to get it, Lil lian turned to a gentleman, and said, " We were to go sir. awberrying after dinner; I am ready now;" and a gen eral movement from the trble took place. Lillian had tacn young Washing ton's arm wher. Paul returned. " Am I to understand that I have offended you, Miss Lancaster?" he asked. You 'fire at liberty to form your own conclusions, sir." I beg pardon." And with a formal bow lie turned away. " What a disagreeable person," she said impatiently ; and, not supposing Paul was within hparing: " Mr. Poiu dexter appears to know him perfectly. My friend paused, turned, and their eyes met. Lillian would have given much to have been able to recall her words. The expression of his features was not anger it was the indiscribable flash of a noible soul, wounded beyond telling by the hand it loved above all others. I felt hurt myself, and en deavored to get Paul to join us in the set we were then forming, but he told me in a whisper, that it would not be pleasant for him to remain in the com pan v after whatJiad occurred; that a ar he would quietly withdraw, upon the pretense of gathering a basket of ber ries for his mother, and if I would ride his horse down the mountain when we concluded to break up, he would be waiting us at the foot. i , The dance went on, and very soon the unpleasantness of the dinner table was forgotten, in wild ntiith of young hearts not yet tuned to sadness. Thus the hour for returning whirled around, and we began to break up. It was deemed prudent for :he ladies to walk down the mountain, orpart of the way, as the road was very I arrow, and exceedingly steep. They iccordingly started on. Have you ever been to Cierry Moun - tain ? i hen, you recollec.that lrignt - - ' ful place where the roal descends obliquely for about five hundred yards, and turns short around a great rock. There is a high bank on one side, but the other shelves off into a precipitate ravine. The road is not more than two feet wider than a common carriage, and it is no pleasant place to drive along if your horses are not gentle. But the short turn around the rock is tho most dangerous part of it, for an upset there would pile horses, carriage and driver upon the tops of the trees, two hundred feet below a sure and speedy death to all. Gus Poindexter was driving a light buggy with a powerful team of spirited bays, who were very restive, and on that account wo advised -him to take the lead. He was, however, endeavor ing to pursuade Lillian Lancaster to ride down the mountain with him, and "show the rest she wasn't afraid." He declared he could drive anywhere, that his horses were well trained, and she was tired, and there was no use of walking. Lillian looked at me inquir ingly, but I was somewhat displeased at the delay, and said nothing ; where upon she allowed Gus to assist her into his buggy. The road was not very steep at first, and they went off at a round pace. It flashed upon me then that Gus was intoxicated, and I called after him to check up. But his team took the reins, and dashed forward into a fast trot. The vehicle lunsed rom side to side until wc, who were ooking on, began to tremble at the sight. "What does the fool mean? said some one near me ; " it will be a run off next." Just at that moment they reached the long down grade. Lillian was seen to grasp him by the arm, he tried to check up, the busrev struck the horses heels, they shot forward like in arrow, the lines snapped. Gus a eaped over the wheel, a piercing scream chilled our blood, and awav went the maddened steeds down the narrow pathway towards the short turn and inevitable destruction ! It was a dreadful spectacle ! With each bound of the frightened animals the doomed vehicle seemed to turn bottom upward, - il -r - the next over the precipice. Look! They arc at the turn ! Great God ! what human power can save the frail girl who clings there ! Hark ! A hoarse shout, a pistol shot, a crash, a cloud of dust, a struggling mass, and Lillian Lancaster has been saved, but a noble man has been crushed under the weight of falling horses ! (To bo continued.) The WewTax Bill. Somebody proposes the following new amendments to the tax bill : For kissing a pretty girl, one dollar. For kissing a homely one, two dol lars the extra amount being added probably for man's folly. lor ladies kissing one another, two dollars. The tax is placed at this rate in order to break up the custom alto gether, it being regarded by our M. C.'s as a piece of inexcusable absurdity. ror every flirtation, ten cents. Every young man who has more than one girl is taxed five dollars. For courting in the kitchen, twenty- five cents. Courting in the parlor, one dollar. Courting in a romantic place, five dollars, and fifty cents thereafter. Seeing a lady home from church, twenty-five cents. Going from church without accom panying a lady, five dollars. Seeing a lady home from the Mite Society, five cents the proceeds to be devoted to the relief of disabled army chaplains. For ladies who paint, hltv cents. For wearing a low necked dress, one dollar. For each curl on a lady's head above ten, five cents. For any unfair device for entrapping young men into matrimony, five dollars. Jbor wearing hoops larger than eight feet in circumference, eight cents for each hoop. Old bachelors over thirty are taxed ten dollars, and banished to Utah. Each pretty lady is to be taxed from twenty-five cents to twenty-five dollars she is to fix the estimate of her own beauty. It is thought a very large amount is to be realized from this pro vision. Each boy baby, fifty cents. Each girl baby, ten cents. Families having more than eight babies are not to be taxed ; and for twins a premium of forty dollars will be paid out of the funds accruing from tax on old bachelors. Each Sunday loafer on the street corners or about church doors, to be taxed his value, which is about two cents. Some slanderer says the old folks go to church to close. their eyes, and the vriinrr in ova fhfi?i rlnthpn Wo ilnn't 1 think this is true of yo ladies 1 a least. They go ior religious worship I aud to see tho Sams and Hims. WILL YOU BE TRUE. Tho -nful tongue of man may hurl Dark words of hate and ill ; Deceitful lips with scorn may curl, And slander me at will ; But through it all I'll bravely ride, With heart both light and free, And leap the gulf both deep and wide, If you'll be true to me. Thou sinful hearts may oft conspire To do me wof ul wrong ! And speak aloud theii vengeful ire In curses loud and long ; But I will calmly bear it all, And stem the troubled sea, If you will answer now my call, And e'er bo true to inc. Their cruel words may sear my heart, And burn more deeply still, But I will nobly bear uiy part Without one pang or thrill ; And though their words with force may fall, And dark their plans may be. With Turhter.heart I'll bear is all. If you 11 be true to me. Southern States Indebted ness and the Carpet-bag1 Legislatures. It is demonstrable as a problem in geometry that tho credit of our differ ent State governments should, keep pace with the appreciation of the na tional credit. We do not find this to be the case, however, with the bonds of our Southern States when compared -vr it .. wiiii juriuern securities or witn gov ernment five-twenties. The reason is to be found in the fact that they are in the hands of speculating Legislatures who have Intterea away the little mon ey in the State treasuries instead of ap plying it to the payment of interest. These carpet-baggers have little or no interest in the welfare of the neonle among whom they are sojourning fur ther than to make the most money pos sible out of them. If they can get possession ot the stock of a railway they issue fetate bonds for its aid or re lief, and so heap upon the State in debtedness. The past duo interest is left to care for itself or is paid by tho pawnbrokerage of new bonds. The securities of our Southern States are far below their real value. Their oppressive, speculating law-makers sit brooding upon their credit and warn away legitimate investment. With the advantages which the whole region of the South possesses for becoming weal thy, not only through its agricultural products of cotton, tobacco and sugar, but through its immense water-power and manufacturing facilities, it ought to rival the Eastern States, and its credit be as good as that of Massachu setts. The South is the re$$jjj effiftrebiAkGi "9a,TStSe governments When these same men come in turn to Congress and take part in the law making of the whole country we shall find them trained for the undertaking of gigantic jobs and swindles similar to the Pacific railway and the whiskey frauds. X. Y. Herald. The hypocritical cry of peaco and con ciliation, says tho Tarboro Southerner re cently stated by tho radical press of the State, is not having exactly the ef fect that was intended. More than a month ago the South erner denounced these professions as false, insincere and full of danger and warned the people against being seduced by any such. It is now encour aging to find our position sustained by such powerful auxiliaries as the Wil mington Journal, Raleigh Sentinel and Newborn Journal of Commerce. The Sentinel, of Tuesday last, has an able article on this subject, in which the following extract appears : But Littlefield, Holden, Dick, Tour gee, Settle, Rodman, Cantwell, Thomas, Watts, Billy Smith, &c., &c., all cry out "let us have peace." Do they want peace jret? We think they do. They have got all the offices to be had, the control of the 30 or 40 million bonds to be issued by the State, all the fat places for themselves and their friends the control of the State, of the counties of the townships, of the Legisla ture, of the Penitentiary. Littlefield has the public printing for the next four years he thinks. Our people are so burdened with taxes they will have no means of resistance for the next four years. Hence the cry, "let us have peace." "Let us alone now for four years, until wo drink the heart's blood of the state, and then we shall be ready to leave for other parts. Let us forget the pa6t. Let by gones be by gones," say they. 1 hat is the peace they desire Like the sow, they are at the swill and do not wish to be disturbod. Shall they be let alone ? Do they not merit exposure ? Ought not their deeds of darkness to be brought out to light ? Surely let it bo done, till hypocrisy, and lying and any blushing villany be driven from the btate. Bcxlt fob Faxxt! Fanny Tern thus disposes of that ornamental and useless object called a "handsome man,' and sensible folks will concur. She says: But your conventional "handsome man" of the barber's window, wax figure-head pattern ; with pet lock in the middle of his forehead, an apple sized head, and a raspberry moustache with six hairs in it, paint put on his cheek, and a little dot of a "coatee' on his chin, with pretty blinking little studs in its shirt bosom ; and a little neck-tie that looks as if he would faint were it tumbled I'd as lief look at a poodle. I always feel a desire to nip it up with a pair of sugar tongs, drop it gently into a bowl of croam, and strew nink rosc-lcavos over tho littlo remains. TWO BOTS TOBN TO PlECES BY A Pa5- mEtt. A man living in Taney county. Mo., recently sent his boy to mill, a distance of ten or twelve miles, and the boy not returning as soon as usual, a neighbor sent his boy to see what had become of the lad,' and the second boy not returning in doe season, a party, consisting of the parents of the two boys, and three or four other men, all armed, started to search for the youths. After travelling some fonr miles, a sight sufficient to chill the blood of the 1 bravest was presented to their view. Right by the side of the road was a large panther deliberately tearing the flesh from the remains of one of the boys the last sent out. The grief and horror-stricken parent raised his gun to his shoulder, and, taking good aim, fired and killed the ferocious beast. After searchinga mile or acinars the . mutilated remains of the otner boy were also found. LouittilU C$wier Journal. Didn't Waxt to be Iksultkd. . A few days ago a recently married couple from the country not Quinda- ro spent a portion of that romantic season denominated the "honeymoon,' in our burg, and, of course, put up and enjoyed the hospitalities of the Game House. During dinner the young lady was observed to turn red and pale by turns, but this was laid to her new po sition as a wife. But Scrogs, who has a sharp car, heard her ask her husband : " Is my face dirty?" "Dirty! No. Why do ask? "Because that insulting waiter in sists on putting a towel beside my plate. I've thrown three under the table, and yet every time he comes around he puts another before me" t Gen. Robert E. Lee has returned to his home in Lexington from his late visit to Fredericksburg, Virginia, as a delegate to the annual convention of the Episcopal Church of the Diocese of Virginia. The Alexandria GautU says that the General stopped one night in that city on his return, and mentions that one morning, while in Fredericksburg, General Lee was met about a hundred yards from the door of the house of a gentleman with whom he was to breakfast, by fifty beautiful little girls, who strewed flowers in his path, compelling him to walk the dis tance literally upon a " bed of roses." During Davy Kennedy's speech at last Halifax Court, a very Liughable incidont occurred. The jjpiker was candidate for Lieutenant Vrovcrnor, is. Among other things, he said, he was a regular graduate of " Obelon," Ohio. A negro in the crowd exclaimed " I don't want any of you oblong niggers from Ohio I want a tquare out Virginia niyjer." Danville Timet. To curb a fast young man Bridlo him. Advice to a Toper. Don't let your spirits go down. The latest name for matrimony is committing twoicide. Ole Bull has consented to play first fiddle at the Peace Jubilee in Boston. Michigan boasts that Chandler's month forms the only whiskey ring in the State. Prentice calls on Secretary Fish to weigh the chances of a foreign war with all his scales. Gentlemen engaged to be married are now politely termed husbands by brevet. Hew should steamboat captains treat the passengers ? They should have a proper deck o'er'm (decorum.) What's the difference between an overcoat and a baby ? An overcoat is what you wear (were) and a baby is what you was. During an examination, a medical student being asked the question, 'when does mortification ensue V 'When you pop the question, and are answered no.' A Man that marries ' a widow is bound to give up chewing and smoking. If she gives up her weeds for him, he should also give up the weed for her. A man came into a printing office to beg a paper. 'Because,' he said 'we like to read the newspapers very much, but our neighbors are all too stingy to take one.' A lady just arrived in Washington es pied the dome of the capital, and in quired if it were the gas-works. "Yes said a bystander, "for the nation." " Have you ever broken a horse ?' inquired a horse-jockey. "No, not ex actly," replied Simon ; "but I've bro ken three or four wagons." Ayoung lady went into a Music Store, the other day, and asked for "felino in testines for lyrical purposes." She was accomodated with cat-gut guitar strings. "There, now," exclaimed a little girl, while rummaging a drawer in a bureau, "grandpa has gone to heaven without his spectacles." Mr. Johnson asks : "Whose ass have I taken ?" No prominent member of the Radical party is missing that wi know of. Philadelphia Age. Ovekpoiko the Mattek. An elderly lady, who had insisted on her ministers praying for rain, had her cabbage cut up by a hailstorm, and on viewing the wreck, remarked that she 'never knew him to undertake anything without : overdoing tho matter."
The Western Vindicator (Rutherfordton, N.C.)
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June 14, 1869, edition 1
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