Newspapers / The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, … / April 7, 1882, edition 1 / Page 1
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... .. . . V . ' ' . H-i m - - T , " ' . A-n ' : . 55 lT 1 S ' ffif 'f' v ' j ' - ADTXKTISIXe BATES. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. One Tear , Six Months....... .., .Special Requests. 1. In writing on business be sure to give the PestoQice at which yda get your mail matter. sL In remitting money, always give both' Uae and Postoffice. 3. Send .matter for the mail department on a separate piece of paper from any thing for publication. 4' Write communications only on one tide of the sheet. j MOTHER'S b6T8. Tea, I know there are stains on my carpet, The trace of small, muddy boota ; And I see your fair tapestry glowing, And 8jotlo6s with flowera and fruita. And I know that my walls ars disfigured With prints of amall fingers and hand And that your own household most truly In immaculate purity stands. And I know that my parlor la Uttered With.many old treasure and toys, 1711110 your own is in daintiest order, Unharmed by the presence of hoys. . Arid I know that my room ia invaded Quite boldly all hours of the day; ; While you sit in yours unmolested M And dream the soft quiet away. Yes, I know tberoLsre four little becUidea Where I must stand watchful e'aoh night,' ?WhiIe you go out'ln' your carriage, And flash tn your dresses so bright. Now, T think I'm a-neat little woman And I like my house orderly, too; And I'm fond of all dainty belongings, Yet would not change places with you. No! keep yoHir fair home with its order, Its freedom from bother and noise; And keep your own fanciful leisure, But give me my lour splendid boys. THE ECCENTRIC IS AC1IELOB. F- was a living specimen of the typical old bachelor, a personage more often met with in the pages of fiction than in real life ; lean and sharp visaged of aarififlt. crusstv and ftvnirifi.1 of fomnpr He was, moreover, an avowed oddity ; one of the privileged class who, by virr tne of this reputation, can do' what oth ers dare not without exciting surprise or giving offense ; whose eccentricities are met with a shrug of the shoulder and the remark",' "What else can you expect of an oddity like me ?" scant sympathy ; yet capable, neverthe less, of kind and generous acts, per formed on the condition that they were to be kept strictly secret and that he was never to be thanked for them. Woe betide the recipient of a favor to whom it was brought home that he 3iad men tioned the same to any one, or extolled the kindness of his benefactor I The unlucky wight once detected in thus giving vent to his gratitude had takep the surest method of cutting himself off from further help. He never got an other chance. Our old bachelor enjoying, as we have said, the privileges of eccentricity, it ! excited no surprise when, on oneocca- wt-ote to inform his servants an old 1 1 1 1 t t -ill- ji cuupio uu uau iiveu. wiiu mm ior years -that he would be accompanied by a widow lady, who was likely to make a long stay in his house, and for whom apartments were to be got ready. - "And a pretty upset she'll make !" exclaimed the dismayed old housekeep er. "A fussy, middle-aged party, no doubt, ordering and interfering and wanting to nave everything her own way ; which she won't' get, John, as long as you and I can prevent her. She'll be a clever madam if she gets her foot inside of my store-room wnile there's locks and bolts to keep her out, I can tell her 1" " Pon't you make sib sure, ", said John. : Tne old man couia not resist-now ana then teasing his helpenate as a little set- off against sundry naggings on tne part of that good old lady. ".Maybe it's a mistress of the house and of yourself ' that's coming to t. Them widders are ; great at wheedling. It's time, if the master is ever to marry, that " ''' "Ah, stop your croaking now !'' cried , Mrs. John. This direv suggestion was too overpowering for her feelings, i The appointed day arrived, and when the cab drove to the door, the t. wo old domestics, with very sour faces and their tnlfH vpnr rmioh Tin. went to renpivA their master and his unwelcome guest. Their first glimpse of. the latter showed them that thev micrht have spared their fears and hostile intentions. Out from the cab, before their astonished eyes, eprang a girlish figure, whose bright, Jiappy' face contrasted curiously with her mourning garments. " Mind ths - step, uncle !" (,J 0b, his niece, she is !") she cried, tripping-up to the hall door. "Don't trouble, please," with a smile to the old house- ; keeper " that bag is too heavj for : you to take ; I'll carry it." . And when the stranger came down to breakfast next morning with a morsel of a cap perched on the top of her golden ; braids of. hair ("not my idea of a wid- ow's cap," said . .the , dame to her hus " . band ; " and would yoa believe it, 0 ohn, Binging away like a bird while she was dressing I") she looked absurdly young; more like a gill in her teens than an ex perienced, "settled" mafpron. : The advent of his "pretty niece made some change in the habits of the old gentleman. He had friends at dinner, more frequently than of yore ; and, in addition to the elderly fogies that formed his usual society, younger guests were invited, suited to the years of his visitor. With great amusement her uncle ob- -served; the attraction her comeliness and winning ways -w-ere for these.. " Swarm-1 ing round likeiflies about a honey-pot I ; Scenting, I dare say, a fat jointure. ' All widows are supposed to be rich', and . just because she is a widow, and for no ; other . reason, making up to her, the fools 1" This to himself with a cynical Chuckle. Aloud; "Nice little w?man, - ' ' , " 1 ' .It -iW u ; ' - ' ' .- ' , i . , ESTABLISHED 1848. sir, that nieee of mine. Plenty of good looks, but hasn't a sixpence not a sixpence to bless herself with." . It was wonderful how the old house Vas brightened up by the presence of its blithe young inmate. But, by no one was its pleasant influence more felt than by the domestics, who had vowed Buch hostility before her arrival.' The old woman especially fwas devoted to her ; loving her for her own sake as fell as for the kindly help and good offices she was always receiving from the deft and willinghands of the young girl. In the store-room that sacred retreat which her footvwa3 never to in vade the latter was to be found on " company days " busy and happy as a bee ; with sleeves tucked half -way up her plump arms, her heavy crape skirts stowed away under one of the old lady's capacious holland aprons, and lappets pinned high over her head, while, laugh ing merrily at the queer figure she made of herself, she worked away at the cakes and sweets, taking a world of trouble off the poor housekeeper's hands. "And so thoughtful she is, and gay; bless her," his wife would tell old John. "She'll come tripping up to me, and ' Now, do as you're bid,' she'll say play fully, forcing me down into my big chair. 'Sit down and rest, there's an old dear, and take your tea. ' I'm not going to let you do a turn more.' And then she'll Work away, her tongue going ill the time as fast as her fingers; run ning on about her mother and her home, her flowers and pets, dogs and birds, and what not, but never a word about husband or married days. And if I touch upon them, or ask a question, she'll get quite silent and strange-like in a minute, and turn oft the subject as if it burned her. Perhaps for all sWa,so merry on the outside she's fretting for him that's gone, and can't a-bear to' talk of him." " Nothing of the sort !" cried old John. 'Don't you goto think such stuff. She'd take a husband to-morrow; mark my words. And it's my opinion there's a young gentleman comes to this house that has a fairish chance. He's desper ate sweet upon her. I haven't eyes in my head for nothing, and I see plain she doesn't dislike him, or hold herself up distant from him, as she does from others." Old John was right. Matters were in due time so satisfactorily settled between the young couple that an appeal to the uncle was deemed expedient. The old gentleman received Ihe announcement with a half-pleased, half-satirical grim ace. - . : ' . "Ha, I thought so !" he muttered. "But are you aware, my friend, that there is no money in the case ? The lady hasn't a sixpence, and " " I know it." indignantly interrupted the suitor. " You have made that re mark before. "I want no fortune with my wife, my own being my love " " Oh, spare your rapture, young sir. Not 89 fast ! Don't be too ?ure of the prize ; for when you hear what I have to tell you there may be perhaps a change in your views. I have no time to go into the matter now ; come to-morrow and hear what will surprise you.;" and the old geDtleman went off, nodding back malevolently the lover fancied over his shoulder, ard leaving the poor fellow in a state; of most uncomfortable suspense and uncertainty. What could this dark hint mean ? and why was he not to make, sure ? Could it I'S possible there was any doubt, any mystery as to. the demise of the beloved one's husband? He could not help calling to mind her confused and singu lar manner at times : a certain want of frankness ; an evident embarrassment at any allusion to the past. The possibil ity ol an obstacle made the young man realize, as ho had not before: done, how deeply his affections were engaged. He spent a miserable night, awaiting in vain conjectures and sleepless anxiety the tidings which the morrow might bring forth. In order to explain matters it will be necessary to go back for some months previous to the arrival of the young lady at her uncle's house, as well as to change the scene from it to a country cottage in a remote part of England the home of the widowed sister of the eccentric bach elor. In it we find him pacing up and down the small drawing room and lis tening to the querulous complaints that its occupant, a confirmed invalid, is ut tering from the sofa on which she, lies. "I think but little of my bodily suffer ings. she is savine : " tney cannot now - ( il . i. last long. Every day I feel more plain ly that the end is nov tar on, ana my doctor tells me the same. The distress of mind that torments me is what is so hard to bear." "And what may this be about, if I might ask?" " The future of my child when I am gone. All I have, as you know, dies with me. She . will be penniless, and the thought of what is to become of her, cast on the world without a home. haunts me night and day. It is too dreadful 1 " "A girl-and young and not bad Ipoking, JWfeere's $e f ear ? Somebody A Family PUBLISHED AT j RUTH ERFORDTON, NllC; EVERY FRIDAY MOANING. H marry her. Menjare such fools ! " The sick woman could not forbear a smile. i i " Ah, but there are no men, no fools here 1 In this remote corner we see no one, and the poor child, taken up with nursing me and tied to a sick-room, has made no acquaintances. It is killing me'to see her young life sacrificed and to think of the future." The mother's tears began to flow. Her hearer,' never j very amiably in clined toward the weaker sex, or at ease in its company, increased his quarter deck pacings in rabch" discomfiture as these symptoms of 'j water-works turned on" bepame apparent. His hurried steps soon subside, however, to a steady march np and down the little drawing-room, while, with frowning brow and occasional fhuckles, he seemed to be concocting some scheme. After a few minutes he came to a sudden halt before the invalid's sofa. "Can the girl act ?" he asked abruptly. " Act ? How do you mean ? I" "Oh, you needn't look frightened, I'm not going to propose sending her to the Gaiety or the Criterion." " Well, except ih tjie little make believe plays and dressings-up that chil dren delight in all children are, I think, actors born." (" Ay, and men and women too." growled the cynic-) " ex cept that sort iof thing she has never seen or had any opportunity of acting. Why co you ask?" : And in reply lier brother unfolded the plan he had been concocting namely, that his niece, laying aside her " frip- pery and her trinkets and other girl's nonsense," was to pikt on the mourning garb and act the part of a 'widow, in which assumed character she was to come to stay with him in his London homo. ;.!. " But I don't understand" "And you're not wanted to under stand," he snarled. I "It's my whim; and it may be for the girl's advantage, Ji she's willing, and can hold her tongue, IH come back for her when she's ready. And 111 pay for her f outfit. Crape and weepers! Ho, ho, ho!" When her first surprise at her uncle's strange proposition was over, the young girl jumped eagerly at the prospect of a change from the dull home she never yet had left. She was young- and spirited ; at an age when love of variety and a longing to see the world and. plunge into its unknown delights are natural. The playing the widow she thought would be excellent fun. There J was a spice of adventure in it, and it would be like the private theatricals and acting charades she had read of and im agined so pleasant. The old gentleman's reason for wishing pier to do so was a puzzle ; but then who could wonder at anything he did ? absurd oddity that he was ! Perhaps it waa Jo avoid having to provide a chaperon! for her ; he hated ladies so, and. elderly ones especially. The result of the scheme we have seen ; and the scheme resell was what its originator proceeded to divulge to the would-be husband when that individual presented himself-with considerable mis giving and agitation on the appointed morning. j ' As the lady has 'hot turned out to be what you took her for, is not, in fact, a widow, perhaps the 'whole matter may be off. A disappointment, no doubt," wound up the uncle' with one of his grim chuckles; "but 'tfas only right to tell you in time. Young man, if you can pardon the deceit, take her." " Well," exclaimed the young man to his fiancee, when all things were cleared up and satisfactorily arranged, and the engaged pair were talking over the queer circumstance that bf ought them togother, I always knew your uncle was eccen tric, but this surpasses anything I could 3iave imagined of him.". Of the 441,043 immigrants who landed at Castle Garden last year 152,431 gave New York as their destination. Of course a large part of this mvading army will encamp elsewhere as soon as friends there or in other, parts of the country find a place and employment for them in less crowded localities. But the fraction left over ' will appreciably swell the ranks of tjie beggars, rag-pick ers, organ-grinder3j low criminals, and other objectionable classes. Eleven thousand two hundred and seventy of the new-comers went to Massachusetts, 45,116 to Pennsylvania. - The vastly more inviting State of Illinois received but 54,461. Michigan got, according to the announcements of intended destina tion, 20,300; Iowa 16,475; Minnesota, 18,819 ; Wisconsin, 19,715 ; Jlissouri, 9,724; and Indiana, 6,131. To the wheat States and Territories Dakota, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michi gan, Minnesota, Nebraska and Wiscon sin there were bound 148,274, or more than one-third of the total arrivals at New York South' Carolina got but 704; Georgia, 828 ; Kentucky, 1,557 ; Louis iana, 1,039; Norths Carolina, 785; Miss issippi, 572 ; the jiotton States together but 4,854-an insignificant share. . . ... j,-.. i Fortt-xinb out of every fifty beggars are rank swindlers;; and -base-impostors, and yet the average beggar collects iboftt 70 oenta per .day. " . Newspaper; Devoted to If me Interests HI- Mew LjAob TArsMi made. Laee paper is one of thtse! things over which, some people can fford to be ro" man tic It is the opposes Iof wrapping paper, at all events. However, here is what a Belgian paper ha i to say on the subject: "Who of nstrbot admired those fine outlines ant ypndrous paper arabesques wnich cover tUs smallest box of confectionery, and mafi iixe contents a hundred times more Appetizing? A bouquet with its prettcollar of lace, a casketfwith its band ogtiipure, or a fine roast leg ofi mutton frith-a goffered sleeve all seemto take orj a new charm, so true is it that sometin'.es the manner in which an object is prejnted is better than the present itself, hera 'are very few manufacturers of la jet paper, and these almost exclusively jjnFrance an4 Germany. It dates only vfithin the last fifty years, like so many o))her articles of luxury. Confectioners anl pastry cooks make, of course, great &se of it; r but butchers are now putting 4heir choicest joints in lace paper. TheV horticultur ists, florists and cigar manufacturers em ploy it. A proof of the eension of the manufacture may bo fotid rom the fact that, while not more'tan 100,000 franca' worth was turneiout in Paris some thirty years ago, it j now sold to the yearly valite of froii i 600,000 to 700,000 francs. It is expted al! over the world, but principally&Ut North and South America. Next in r,der come England, Spain, Italy, Russia, Austria, etc. The material is rath Ghostly, and the paper has to be specify prepared by rubbing each sheet w", both sides with soap powder, so thHt they may easily separate. Eight sheets are put on the matrix, and thenfifie Jyork-girl beats with a small hammefiiaitil the de sign is cut out. Thirty bluff s are neces sary to cut ten square centimeters. Efforts have been made to tjut the paper with one stroke, but they ftwe been un successful, and the little bd hammers have to be retained. L TB little boxes for fruits and terrines, eti are made, however, by machinery, bijfibnly within the last four years; and, al) they are 60 per cent, cheaper, a great rfjany of them are sold." I. ' t STUDENT LIFE AT UTHEyS, Modern Athens is strong in students. Not only do many youth ass through the lower schools and gjanasiums- up to the university, but t4, university, being the center of leajtjiihg. ,npt for Athens only, but for all je Greek race, whether under Turkish rnle or not, and offering an education neany free1 to all, attracts to it ambitious y$iung men from Thessaly, Epirus, the iEgean; islands and Constantinople itself! Hither they come, penniless, but atkij&t after knowl edge, take menial situations1 every family has its man-servant," forit is not the custom of the poorest girl to go about alone and thus t e j earn board, lodging and clothing whe they pursue their studies" and attend he university lectures. Education, indeed. i a drug in modern Athens ; ther jfe a plethora of educated men. A sto.,y is told of a traveler who asked a nfjfpber: of "the Government, to whom hej adj brought a letter of introduction, nherejhe could find a trustworthy GreekC'j attendant to wait upon him, and act gas guide and interpreter. To his astffiislrm6nt the Minister replied : " Why ot employ my brother? He is just wat you need. He is a graduate of tje; university, speaks several language j i$ a civil and obliging fellow, and is 'lapxious for situation." There are hosts of gracjujatea looking Wit for Government appointments, and ready meantime to turn. Ia'penny by any employment, however tumble. The high esteem in which education is held, the large proportion ofppublio funds devoted to it, and the eagerness with which it is sought andvacquired, are among the most striking iHatugsof New dremnn Thf, rAonli trn.r'ifRf a. Tin.tnrn.1 Greece. The people maVtfesfc ft, natural and instinctive love of letting for its own sake and apart from commercial value. The learned prossioius are ac cessible to all, and they ajpe overstocked. Literary men abound, an find employ- ment as newspaper disant politicians. wrr ers ; and soi- -Pv- Impoetations of foreign! vegetables continue at New York onlj large scale. Onions, cabbages, turnip parsnips and carrots come from HolHnd,lreland, Scotland and England. j A few days ato 3.000 sacks of pota&es were re- ceived 6a a single steam Consignees say that the Irish pro&ftct is worth $2.50 per sack in New lrk, while the cost on the other sidej w 'about 84 shillings sterling per .to ? The ocean' freight is 20 shillings pe' fon, and the duty 15 cents per bushfli! A leading New jYork dealer says tha f!but for the foreign contributions th jpride in, that market would now be ajfj very1 extrava gant figures, owing to then partial failure of the crop. Scotch potatoes are taken in preference for srnpmer$ to the South; they are less liable to defray, ajid come forward in good conditio t; & A man's fortune should be jkhe rule for his sparing not sperJing.;j Extrav agance may be supprteliotutifiedt byaffluenof. .T- 117"' and General Sews. HOW ME- EARNED M3 PROMOTION The chief clerk of a French merchant received an invitation to a masked ball at his-employer's, and was the envy iof his comrades. It was considered a mark of very great favor, and was looked upon as a sign that he would soon be offered a place in the firm itself. Resolved to do all he could to make the occasion a success, he spent a good deal of time and considerable money in devising and making his masquerade costume, which, after long deliberation, he resolved should be that of a monkey. Then he pent a week learning a number of tricks grinning, clambering on the chimney, springing over the bed, balancing him self on the back of a chair. The evening came. He rang the bell, hung his over coat into the servant's arms, and, with a grin and chatter, turned a somersault under the chandelier. The gontlemen stood stupefied, the ladies screamed. His mask prevented him from seeing much, but the noise encouraged him to bound over a sofa and throw down' a cabinet of old china. At this moment a hand seized him, tore off his mask, and the voice of his employer asked him what he meant by his infernal conduct. Before he could explain hewas hustled out of the house, learning by one glimpse that the rest of the company were in evening dress. The next day he was sent for, and entered the office with trembling knees. " I had the pleasure of a visit from you last evening " said the gentleman. "Yes, sir that is4-I " ' " No excuses," said the other, "no excuses I have raised your salary. I noticed you were overlooked for promo tion last year. Good morning; shut the door after you." " Well, I'll be - -," said the clerk, going out. His employer had made an early investigation into the matter, and found- that the other clerks had " put up a job," on the young man by sending him a bogus invitation. His employer made things even by promet ing him over their heads. -f The colleges in this country are con ducted on two different theories. The older ones; like Harvard, Yale, Prince ton, Dartmouth and the like assume that the faculty are the guardians of the pupils, standing in place of their parents and responsible for their personal and moral education, outside as well as in side of the class-room and college grounds. The other colleges, like the University of Michigan and Cornell, while not wholly relaxing the paternal authority, do not emphasize it, but are disposed to reduce it to the narrowest limits. Whatever may be the influence of these two theories upon the individual student, the effect .upon the collective student does not differ much. Viola tions of civil law occur under both ad ministrations about equally, and alike in both colleges the student, when acting in his collective capacity, cannot be dis tinguished from any other rowdy. In Princeton he tears sidewalks up and sighs down, breaks street lamps and re moves gates. In Williams he goes to theatrical and musical entertainments, and with horns and whistles brings them to an ignominious end. In Cornell the Sophomores break into the room of two Freshmen, thrust them into a hack, drive to Syracuse and put up at a hotel until arrested by the police, when they profess to believe that kidnapping is a 1 joke. " The Princeton students were fined for their conduct, the police at tempted, but failed, to. arrest the "Will iams College students, while it is pro posed that the law shall deal with the Cornell law-breakers as if they were; Or dinary offenders. Belfast, Ireland, has forwarded to Mrs. Garfield an evidence of the public svmrathv there felt for her. It takes the form of an album and casket, con- ' taining a copy of the resolutions adopted f - i. 11 n,,WMs macfitin in "Ralfoaf Slonf. 20. The resolutions are .'lllu minated on vellum, the lettering being n the early English style, and the brna mental work of a very elaborate descrip tion, . but in subdued colors, specially chosen for, and adapted to, the occa sion. In the border-work appear the lily, ivy, shamrock, daffodil, passion flower, etc, conventionally treated. Tho left page contains medallion representa tions of the arms of Great Britain and the United States. On the right are shields bearing the arms of Belfast .and -of the State of Ohio, with a small picture in black and gray, emblematic of. Ire land. The resolutions bear the signa tures of the Mayor, Mr. HI H. Bottom ley, and Mr. Robert McVeagh. The album is bound ,in black morocco, and has an Oxford border, inclosing on the front the monogram, J. A. Gr.t embossed in gold, with the words, " In memoriam, 19th September, 1881," and on the back the arms of Belfast. The casket is of real bog oak, lined with French 'gray Hfttin and silver mounted. Four shields " J 4 p j also of silver, contain the arms of Great Britain, the United States, Belfastand Ohio, while a plate on the top bear the inscription, "From the . citizens of Bel ast (Ireland) to Mrs. Garfield," ; j Wheh a rich man's will is opened then "l9Qk out for breakeri." ; J TERSS-frOOiPerABnim. A recent letter froih Salt Lake ,City Utah, says: With regard to blood atonement I am assured that it- is practiced to-day as frequently as it was twenty-five years ago, though not so" openly. There are no Coroners in tJtah, and when a body is in death it is simply buried. Poison does the work and there are no mquiries. j When a man gets tired of his wife he poisons ' her. One crime, which was commtited here only a short time ago, I must describe. Mrs. Maxwell came to Salt Lake City with her husband in 1869. Two years after ward her husband took another wife and one year subsequently fie was sealed to a third. Mrs. Maxwell had two sons, aged respectively 14 ; and 16 years. Their father urged them to go through the Endowment House and become Mormons, bound by all the oaths of the church. Mrs. , Maxwell, having led a hie like that of Mrs. Hunt, objected, and, in order to prevail I over her sons, she told them the secrets of the Endow ment House. The penalty for revealing these secrets is dismemberment of the bodyj the throat cut, and tongue torn out. Mr. Maxwell overheard his wife, being in an adjoining room, and -forth with heinformed the elders, who sent for the unfortunate woman and her two sons. They were taken into what is called the "dark pit," a blood-atoning room under Brigham . Young's house. The woman was then stripped of all her clothing, and then tied on her back to a large table. Six members of the priest hood then performed their damnable crime ; they first cut off their victim's tongue, they then cut her throat, after which her legs and arms were severed. The sons were compelled to stand by and witness this dreadful slaughter of their mother. They were then released and given twenty-four hours to get out of the Territory, which was then an im possibility. . The sons went directly to the house of a friend, to ;whom they re lated the butchery of their mother, and, obtaining a . package of provisions, they started; but on the following morning they were both dead they had met the Danites, One other case almost similar to the above occurred about five years ago in the City Hall. These are truths, and the lady to whomthe sons told their story is willing to make affidavit to the facts if she can be guaranteed immunity from Mormon vengeance. TES, SIB, rD SHOOT HIM." Six or eight congenial spirits' sat around a stove in a Grand River groce ry, and after several other subjects had been exhausted some one introduced that of panics in churches, theaters and halls. This gave Mr. Hopewell a chance to remark : ' . ' ! "Gentlemen, I. do jest long lobe there." "Where?" ' Why, in one of those panics. . Yes, jr, I'd give a new $20 bill to be in the theater one night when there was an oc casion for a panic." "Why?" "Why, because one cool, level-headed man could stop that sort of thing as easi ly as you could end up that barrel of flour." " Well, I dunno about that," observed one of the sitters. "There is something awful in the cry of fire, and hear it .when and where you may it startles and fright ens. What would you ; do in a theater in case there was a loud cry of fire and a rush?" " I'd stand upon my seat, pull a re volver from my pocket and shout out that I'd shoot the first man who at tempted to crowd or rush. One cool man would check the panic in ten sec onds." i While the subject was being contin ued the grocer went to the rear end of. t,he store, poured a litjtle powder pn a board and gave three or four men .the wink. Directly there was a bright flash, yells of Fire ! " " Powder ! " and every man sprang up and rushed. Hopewell didn't spring up and , talk of shooting. On the contrary he fell over a lot of baskets piled between him and the door, got up to plow his way over a raekof brooms,, and when he . reached the side walk he was on all-fours, white as a ghost and so frightened that he never looked back until he reached the oppo site side of the street. Detroit Free Press. ': f : Con. E. C. Botoinot, the Cherokee Indian, living in Dallas, Texas, is de scribed by a gushing woman as a highly-J educated, polished, affable, genial and fascinating gentleman. ! When sho met him he was dressed in black broadcloth, with faultless linen front, from which parkled a brilliant emerald. Somewhat advanced in years, cleanly shaven, with black hair slightly tinged with gray. worn in profusion and as long as a wom an's, with broad, open countenance, he looked every inch like Ben Franklin, as thai great philosopher has been handed down to us by the painter. The census of Paris shows an increase of population on that of 1876, when th last census was taken, of 237,100. The total po-pulation of Paris is now 2,225,- 900, against 1,988,80Q in 1876. and 1,851,792 ia J872. Quarterly, Semi-annual or Yearly con iracis win oe maae on liberal terme. Obituaries and Tribntes of respect charged for at advertising rates. No communications will be published nns less accompanied by the fall name and ads dress of the writer. These are not requested LI! t . 1 . m iur puuiicauon, oui as a gaaramet or jooa faith. All communications for th aner. and business letters, should be addressed t THE BANNER, Ralherfordtoa, IK. PLEA SAKTRIEX Shockixq disaster An earthquake. Ghosts must come from gnome man's land. Smelling salts Sailors trying to dis cover a place where whisky is sold. The Arabic for cat ia "git." That ought to be the English of it, toor Git too? Pebsonal John, come back; all is forgiven! Pa kicked the wrong man. He did not know it was you. Stella. Some one who has been there remarks that a young author lives in an attio because one ia rarely able to Ifve oh' bis first story. The reason that a baggageman re cently hurled himself from a fourth story window was that he was insane, and thought he was a trunk. "What makes you look so deathly sick, Tommy? " "Well, the f ac"f the matter is, I've been taking my first chew, and I am only an amaohewer." A Dublin' newspaper contained the following : "I hereby warn all persons from trusting my wife, Ellen Flanagan, on my account,' as I am not married to her.". "No," said the cashier, "I didn't need the money. I. wasn't speculating. I had no necessity for stealing it. 'But, I hang it ! I didn't want to be called eo- centric. Not too funny: "Dwo vas schoost enough, budt dree vas too blendtv," re marked Hans, when his best girl asked him to take her mother along with then to a dance. ' Niagara falls is so brilliantly illum inated by the electric light every even ing that, alter paying tne nacEman, you can easily see whether there is anything left in your pocket. It is rather unpleasant to hear a pub lic speaker remark, "My friends-tu; I wish to say a few-words-ur on this occa-sion-ur," etc. ; but then we must remem ber that to ur is human. An Eastern man started a gergeous "billiard parlor" out West, but neglect ing a liberal supply of spittoons it was said his establishment; did not come up to the public expectoration. The New Haven Register gives the following excellent directions as to how to tell a good onion : "Hire your best girl to eat it raw, and then call upon her. If the onion is good your stay will be short." It is feared that the enormous manu- ' facture'of wooden toothpicks is utterly destroying the forests of America; but, then, the young man who spends all his salary for good clothes must have some thing to eat. A Fkench writer remarks, f'if a lady says to you, ' I can never love you,' wait a little longer ; all hope is not lost. But if she says, ' No one has more sin cere wishes for your happiness than L' take your hat." A South Amebican plant has been found that cures bashf ulness. It should be promptly tried on the man who leaves the hotel by the back window be cause he is too diffident to say good-by to the cashier and oleirk. A fabmeb living not many miles from Toledo has the following warning con spicuously posted on his premises: " If any man or woman's cows or oxen gits in this nere oats, his or lier tail will De cut off, as the case may be." An aged negro was one day showing the scars of the wounds inflicted by the lash when he was a slave. " What a picture ! " exclaimed a sympathizing looker-on. " Yes," responded the col ored brother, "dat's de work ob one ob de old masters." " The Bible says, Love your neigh bor as yourself,' " the parson remarked ; ' but, of course) we must not take this literally. If you manage to love your neighbor one-hundredth part as much us you do yourselves, many of you, it will be all that can be reasonably expect ed of you. " - A TOO INQUISITIVE WAITER, A prominent citizen of Austin, who ' drinks a great deal, went into a restau rant to refresh 'himself. After he was through he called the waiter and asked what his bill was. ' "Let me see," r eplied the waiter; "you have-had some pork chops, two bottles of ale and a bottle of claret. Have you had any thing else ? " "I've had the deblrium tremens, but I don't see that it is any of your busi ness," was 'the indignant response. Galveston News. A patheb and son could not get along well together on the same farm at Guth rie, Miss., and it was settled, after much bickering, that the son should leave. He paid all his debts, gave away bis re maining property, and appointed a day for departure. When the time came, he shook hands with the family, including the'father, who asked, "Where are you going?" "To the devil'" the young man replied, drawing a pistol and in itaatly killing himself. . i -' .1 - I Sr. Sr.' - t
The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 7, 1882, edition 1
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