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.jirfi; WAU; Editor and f f oprietor.
?1.50 per Tear in Advance.
Hi
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0L; III; NO. 14;
ROCKINGHAM RICHMOND 00 CTHURSD APML 1885.
WHOLE NO, 616.
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BURGESS
' ' VBounuiJi Ajn bstJox.
Furniture
Mm
OHARXJOTTE, N. O.
fc. TOLL
Cheap Bedsteads, Lounges, Parlor and Chamber Suits.
COFFINS OP ALL KINDS ALWAYS ON HAND. .
EOKLENBURG
IRON WORKS,
. CHARLOTTE, 1ST- O.
MANUFACTUBE3 AND KEEPS IN STOCK
' ' " '"V : -!i ' . - ,. " -" i "
Steam Engines and Boilers,
i Traction Engines.
Saw Mills with Variable Friotion Feed.
- AVueat Mill Outfits.
Cora Milla Portable.
Separators, Threshers and Hone Powers
Reapers, Mowers and Hakes
Steam and Water PipesBrass Fittings
RBPAR3 PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO.
; Address,
XTTOKfiETS.
FRANKLIN MoNEIL, 1
ATTpRNEY AT LAV,
ROCKINCHAM, N.C.
, J . - i
- Win pniotic in KtoboMnd. ITotswoM. Anaoa ud
WALTKR'H. NEAL,, ?
A WJ
t:
j LAURINBURC, N. C.
'" "Will vprmctfon in Riohnmid and djaost oooatm.
IflAMLET TEKIVES
TH PEOPLE ARE HAPPY.
v"-
Mlik Pi? Coods, Qrocrisv Shoes, eta.. SO LOW th!
ib notiva or wtonithovt. jiafore buying. cU Ad m
SHJr SHOCK ux ,
. : 1
HATS,
- ' i .
GOODS , CEOCEKIM
BOtbTS, SHOES. CUTLKB
HOWS,' MOLASSES, ' BACON. SHIP STUFF.
4 I- , - .
And almwrt ererrthiiig nesddb7 tbpaapl. -::
' Bmra(aol and te mu beior. bnyins. It will bs
,tfoorsftraa;a. . , J. W. PAKKS,
IE BARNES
v OCSmGHAMl N.vC.i
TbeUltl will slwais bs stpplbd with tba
Uw
; KATES
. Jsa s
&uur&Wt wmK, frM
3 fO to
ilMto
.... Kuard omt. tran....
a
XHTBA'EsTKpVriitcr.
Cen. Grant's Jlefusal of Aid.!
Bearding Oeneral Grant's refosal to
accept ' the land being raised for his
benefit by Cyrus W. Field and others,
Hi, Fkild said 1 that he as much asj any
person was surprised at General Grant's
declination. , r;- v-; , 'v;. ", I ,; : :
"'jJat vhat eoald I do after receiving
that letter from the General ?" said Mr.
Field, i "I had only:' to accept it as
meaning exactly what it said, for I have
i i hot 'seen, General Grant yet, and know
nothing more- than the pablio, though I
-may Imagine a thousand things." I
i ?;And what do you imagine?" was
i'teked Air. Field.' - ; j! A
s ' 4it MAnirt imacrinfl that ina uenerai de-
" r' 'Vi 1 4,
!i i anil J I might imagine that some friend
? v haA'posBlWy come forward and taken
v?'i op Mt' Yandeibafi claim agatoslihirc.
i1 I :cannot imagine that the General
pff;'mtMi ' part with' all : his': relics' and
things in
i tha line that I would not part with lor
anything." ' ; -h P'-fz::.
;V.v 'Will yoa retain the subscriptions
made niil you have, seen Ganeral
Grant?' was asked. ' ' JC''P 'C
' "Oh, no,M he replied, , "not a dollar,
I haye already returned every cent sub
scribed, for I had no right to it alter
General Grant had said he would hot re-
oeiviti,t : ' ;- --: .
'Hbw xnnoh had been subscribed ?'V
-will say nothing about that ; Gen
eral Grant did not. himself know.rbut
there wpnld have been no difilculty in
MUintf thrnm. . Mr. Vanderbilt told
5. ; ,' .; Va .! Wwnfli.ft1Tw - worth ' 160.000 to
V; $t7Q,000.
tZ'i&iiiK'iLhn. '.b n mndinn eirl of sn Amor-
i Wt&M u utn whbm shd had steered down
i . J-ti'Z&mW "r! ?T vr7i.;-Zfv 1 ;Ihe aide doon, .they are
4-Ti3 mmJ wooJdn-txiayeraiEBeqiifuu i Abd the PomI Code
t:Wtif:WtlW Ahrtakone
4"'-V f s 'V "XlOf-W MWisais- f;jj.vjLi pojiMHUuri m J
NICHOLS,
skaxxk n all koss o
Mattresses
Chairs, Etc.
STOCK Ok
froaptUtaaUoaffroato
JOHN WILKES, Manager,
Sew York's Tons? Men. .
Says a New i York correspondent:
After . the opera I wandered into the
corridor or a prominent hotel and there
I met the cashier of a down town bank.
"Hello 1" .says I. "We newspaper
men may stay up all night and sleep all
day, but how do-yon business men man
age to keep awake all the time ? Ton
iiagh 1 1 hb lioaia. I a bed. " '. .'.
"but I am going to-night to Mf!rX8 -
party; and am waiting for the time for it
I to begin. It's got to be impolite to turn
np at such an entertainment before mid
night. I shall drop around in half an
hour, dance until after four, get to bed
bf five, sleep until half-past seven, and
rush down town : in time to be at my
desk at nine. Of course I shall be en
tirely unfit for work all. day long, but
you know that a young,, fellow cannot
afford to miss Mrs. B.'a party. A man's
business success bo largely depends
nowadaysupon his social acquaintances
that the social - part has to be looked
after sharply. ' I have been to the opera
to kill time. All the people whom I
shall' meet at the baU were scattered
ttn-ough the opera house, and most of
the women and all thoxaen were in their
ball attire. They" simply drove from
the opera house to Mrs.B.'s, and go on
with the night's enjoyment.' It's hard
enough on a business man who has to
be down town early, especially if he ia
out five nights in the week, as I have
baen for a month; but then I sleep ail
day and all nigbt on Sundays, and get
to bed by midnight on Saturday nights,
so I contrive to make up some of my
lost sleep. ." I sometimes go to bed right
after dinner and sleep from eight o'clock
until midnight, and then have James
call me, and I can then turn up at the
party feeling quite bright, you know;
but it is rather awkward, don't you
understand, to have missed the opera or
the theater and to be mixed up on the
day of the week, as a fellow is sure to
be who sleeps at odd times so and gets
, up bewildered between two days."
. Yet this young man was . only one
of 10,000, probably, who are compelled
: to pay equal attention to social require
ments and business. .
Education in the East
rjnole Jamea, just arrived from the
West for a visit, to, bis httle niece":
"Well, Emily,' and how are you coming
ofx at school ?" Emily (little eight year
old; Boston girl):;" " Nicely, uncle." r
' tJucle James: i V I suppose you can
read 'ahd' write and spell with the best of
'enf Emily: " Oh, my, yes. I study
mental philosophy and the science of
languages, and on Tuesday I'm to pre
pare a treatise on Psychology and another
one on Fr day on Methods of Thought,;
and twice a week we thave a lesson jn
Ethics of Sex! and here is an article
which -I am to read to-morrow; cillel :
The Brazen Period, and" :- i,;
Mamma (entering the room): "There,
Emily, dear, little ohildren should be
seen not heard, i and besides your uncle
James must be very tired after his long
journey." . ' r : '
- TJdole James looked tired, Drake's
Traveller. . i.- - .,-
The Police Song.
A picked lot of New York policemen
sing in the "Pirates of Penzance" for a
charity They bring down the house
with the following metrical observations
on th9 Exowe question: ., ' I
Oh, the liquor stores hare closed their front
doors Sunday, ,
And t e good and . pious chaps have got the
- k b'aesj. ' "
They are waitlnir'for thecomiag on of Monday,
When they can get ntus quiet boose. -V
very hard to smother.
is having all the fan-
oonsideration with another. .;v r
aoi awonfc ,
DBEAM CHILHREK. -
"' t ' v$-"J ' ' i V'1'' ", 'r.7'.-!,:.'
ItnxBtlnthe dearLOTTawis&ffln, ;
' I do sot caestibn His will, : ;
Bat oft as I sit In my chamber,, y j
In the twilight, aim and still,
I long for the children's Toicea, ;
. I long for the dinging stint,
As unto my ear thry whisper, '
Their ttoy griefs and slarms, -ffUK-And
my silent room is peopled . 1
v With forms I can almost see," i - (
The forma of the dear dream children i '
Who cluster about my knee. . j'
I can hear their merry prattle ; ;
I feel their breath on my choek, ' '
And my fanoy again makes real
The dear ones my heart would seek.
And eo I sport with my children, - . ,
And watch their sw et, quaint way" ;
Till my heart grows heayy with longing
And my eyes are dim as I gaze.
For alas I they are bat ohadows ,
That out of the d&i kness grow; ,
Only the fraO dream children "
That the heart alone can know. " '
A TERRIBLE ADVENTURE.
1 have had such an adventure," ex
claimed Mrs. Badger as she flounced
into the sitting room, sank into an easy
chair and gasped for breath. 1. .
'What is the matter, ray dear?" in
quired Mr. Badger as he laid down his
-newspaper to listen. - .
"That ia a nice way to speak to a
woman after she has just seen a sight
that curdled her blood. Oh, ray I" exJ
claimed the worthy lady as she covered
her pink face with her terra cotta
gloves, totally oblivious for the moment
of the fact that the two colors formed a
very inharmonious contrast. "I can see
it before me now. I don't believe I will
ever forget it, ever." ,
"Compose yourself, my dear, and tell
me all about it."
"That is the way with you men," re
sponded Mrs. Badger as she removed
her hands from her face and began un
buttoning her gloves. "You have no
feeling. Yon don't know what sentiment
is. , If you had passed through what I
have to-day the first intimation I would
have of it would be an unusual odor
about your breath. You would go into
a saloon just as if nothing had happened
and talk the matter over with a friend,
and by the time you got home you
would forget all about it ' Compose my
self, indeed, I know I sha'n't recover
from the shock for six weeks, if ever I
will"
Here the excited matron paused to
allow her husband an opportunity to in
terrupt 'her in, but tbt individnl
Of'tt Y;. . " '
- "When I got through my work this
noon you know we had company for
lunch ? Mrs. Simpson and her daughter
were here.. . How I detest that woman I
I know she came here on purpose to
make mean remarks about our new sil
verware. By the way, Isaac, that sil
verware is" wearing very badly. The
plating has been rubbed off in three
places on our coffee-pot already. That
comes of buying your table ware at a
tea store. I always knew you were no
judge of such things. The next time
perhaps you will let mo buy stuff for
my own house, But you always think
you know so much about some things.
No one can teach you anything. If you
' would take your, wife's advice once or
twice a year, instead of that miserable
Jim Wilson's, it would be better for you
nand me, too. I suppose now you will
go and te 1 that odious man just what I
have said. That is the way you always
do. ,You kt.ow you do. The last time
I told you tie. truth about him you
went right ofl and repeated it to him
like a little, leaky school boy." You
needn't try and deny it, for Mrs. Wilson
came over here the next day and made
the rnot scandalous statements about
you I ever heard, and I know, she only
did it to get even. Oh, if I wasxmly a
man I'd show you tome things that yon
ought to know.",. f 9
' Hera Mrs. Badger ; stopped for breath
and glared across thefireplaoe at her
unfortunate husband in a way that would
have chilled the marrow in the bones of
a less experienced Benedict
"Well, my dear," suggested Mr. Bad
ger, with a faint sigh, -"as you were
about to say, Mrs. Simpson called."
"That's right," snapped Mrs. Badger
viciously. "That's right , Since you
wnre down town and saw the terrible
sight, suppose , you; finiaK the story..
That's right Go ahead and 'tell me all
about it-' I'm impatient to hear." .
'1 didn't intend to interrupt you. my
dear," responded Mr. Badger, wearily,
v 'Don't 1 my - dear J me, sir. Please
don't. Well, since you don't know any
thing about It and are willing to listen
to me relate it I will continue. - Mrs.
Simpson and her freckle-faced - Miss
Simpson came to lunch, We had pickled
salmon, hot ' biscuitsyou know what
delicious biscuits Mary Vmakea ? It is
the only good thing about the baggage.
She does everything else terribly. She
broke three saucers this morning while
-she was faying to listen to what I was
saying to you about Jennie -Parsons
while we were in the pantry. 1 I think 1
shall discharge her. She is too careless
for1 any use, but then she is cheap and
knows our ways, and Heaven knows
what I should do with a new girl, but I
'suppose yon would be slad to,, have . a
change you don't have any of the work
to do. You men are so selfish. . I wish
I waa a man." . , j
"So do I, my dear," observed Mr.
Badger. "Then I might possibly hear
the end of this Btory some -time this
year.".' r
' "That's right, Mr. Badger; when you
cant trea't me cruelly and neglect ma,
abuse, me. That's the way with yon
-men. I have a good mind not to tell
the story not at all now, just for spite."
f v'At-; this"' moment Mr. Badgejr picked
UP Ins.newspaper and resumed bis iead-
a . re'
- "As I was Baymg,"fcontihuedMrs,
Badger after five rninntes of ' silence, j
which seemed to her like ft month,
"when Mrs.' Simpson and Miss Simpson
left the house I put oh my oloak and hat
and started down to buy some groceries
that I asked you to order several days
ago, but which you forgot as usual.
Ton always orget snc
sit down to .the table to eat and then
you storm and raise a row. because you
don't find the articles all looked , and
ready for you iu silver covered dishes.
I got. in' a red oar and started down
town. The oar didn't , atop for ment
first I had to walk over to the other
side of the street and walk through i
pool of water, but I! don't anppose it
would make any differenoaHtocyou J
; had drowned. After wading nearly up
to my boot tops I nally glinto Che
car and there Wasn t any seat for me.
The car was crowded with men and wo
men. , There wasn't a gentleman there.
It's a pity the street car companies don't
run cattle cars for those brutes who sit
down and pretend to read newspapers
while ladies stand up. There was one
putty-faced dude, who wasn't reading.
He didn't dare look me in the face. He
fumbled I around in his pockets and
pulled' out a newspaper, and -;when I
looked at him he began reading it up
side down. Borne men would do anv-
tning ratner tnan stana up ana let a
lady sit down. Then the brute of
conductor asked me it I didn't have
small change when I gave him a five
dollar bill. ; Of course I had, but I
wouldn't give it to him after he had in
suited me before the car full of people,
not that I cared for them, though.
Then he looked at the bill suspiciously,
and carried it out on the platform and
asked the driver if it was good. He
then went through ; the car and asked
every man if he had change. None had
any, of course, and he had to give it
back to me. I hope he had to pay my
fare himself, just because he was such
a selfish brute. But he was like all you
men. " ' . ; " -j . -
"At Twenty-third street a woman got
in the oar with that lovely dress pattern
I saw on Broadway last fall and wanted
you to buy for me, but you said it was
too expensive. She had it made over,
and it was perfectly beautiful. I knew
it didn't cost her over $50, and it was
worth twice that much. You will see
how much it costs when I get my new
dress next months ' Dress goods are
twice as high nowj but you always
think von know so much about snob
things. 1 - '"
"I got out at Fourteenth street and
wn walking past that new building on
Sixth, tycuie
They are plate class and reach clear
across tho store, and are filled with the
greatest bargains I 'ever saw. I know
some of the lace that they have marked
down to 62 Cents didn't cost one cent
less than 60 cents. Well, right over the
top of the buildingj there is a scaffold
and there were some! men working on it
They had a pile of
bricks and a whole
dry goods box full
of mortar. I met
Mr. Jones there that. . pleasant-faced
gentleman who comes here and talks so
beautifully about Paris and the latest
fashions.. He had his .charming little
pug dog with him, and . the moment he
saw me he bowed and that dear little
doggie barked. , Ton know the last time
he came here I gave, him your slippers
to play with. He is such a cute little
fellow. ' He nearly choked to death, you
remember, on the heel of one of the slip
pers. But yott can buy a new pair for
$2, and you know I never liked that pair
anyway. You bought them without
consulting me. He saidhe was coming
up to see us to-night" r
"Who?" interrupted Mr. Bfldgsr, jy
he started from ma chair. "Jones or
his dog?".
"Mr. Jones, of
course; yon don't
suppose I would talk to a pug dog, do
you?" j
"Well, my dear," continued Mr.
Badger, as he buttoned up his coat, "I
shall have to be out this evening. I
have a business meeting to attend to, I
am sorry I can't stay at home to enjoy
the society cf Mr. Jones and the Jones
pug, but I can't neglect business, you
. . - .
know. I must go right off. I haven't a
minute to' spare."
"You needn't run away to avoid meet
ing Mr. Jones. He won't be here."
"But you just said he was coming."
"So I did, but he won't ' While we
were talking a whole bucketful of bricks
fell off the scaffolding and struck him
on the head before my eyes and flat
tened him but like a pancake." .
"Oh I" shuddered j Mr. Badger, "that
waa horrible. No wonder you i were
shocked. I wonder whether he leaves
a widow and a family. He really wasn't
such a bad fellow after alt,"
lJeave a widow? What do you
mean? How could he marry?", v
"I don't see any reason why Mr.
Jones .shouldn't marry."
V "Mr.i Jones? He "wasn't hurt It
was the dog that was crushed."
"Oh,"- replied Mr. Badger, as he
seated himself again and picked up the
newspaper. "Is that the terrible adven
ture you had?" - '., '..'! .; ;
"Well, isn't that adventure enough ?
I was so weak I had to order a carriage
to take me home, and ' that cost $4; and
you will have to go without meat for
your breakfast to-morrow morning Ton
less you order It yourself to-night, and,
Mr. Badger, let me say that the next
time I tell you a' story you will under
stand it at once." -
, "IdouU it,".replied Mr. Badger as
his wife flounced out of the room to
change her dress for dinner. Grapfiic.
, . " -
Pbbsonaii. Mrs. Mackey'a daughter,
who is to marry the Prince. Colonna, is
not the daughter of Mr. Iackey, bnt pf
her first husband. Dr. Bryant, a young
cousin, or connection of William Cullen
Bryant,;who went : west with the gold-
Hjver ana. was pracucing metuou-o at
Virginia Oily at the
time of bia death,jj
THJ?
AlaWi.IETIN PABTY BBMNOtNO .19
..SUUIiui vunn . ; . k-(
ttesemls Three Persons Aure, un i
' Wlwa hmi twi Rnrfexl IB H.ir-TSMi
SiMrglMwty WUek SO ftmu. war
:--MMe4. , '.' - ''fi HTi :'l " .: v:K:t
ffcM'ff.sfti;:,'.l'. - ''S,-hSk' -"
v A ditch from Salt Lake pity aayi:
The relief party Bent to Alta to rescue
the liiiilg and bring back the dead who
werb killed inv.the recent jnowi slide
which- overwhelmed lhat town, has re
turned, ''The relieving party had a very
trying experience.- Coming down the
d&ep defiles of the mountain side, daag
gng; the sleds on which the bodies were
placed ewh up j in bUnketi, they were
bfispteep ' dnf tstW :thhirling
partIes of snow driven before the howl
tog blaeta pricked like 'so many needled
Fortunately, however, all the brave men
returned without having received serious
harm. Twelve bodies were brought
down the canon in mournful procession,
single file, . and lashed upon the sleds.
On the first sled was the body of Mattie
Hickey, the next bore the bodies of Tim
othy Madden, Jeremiah Began, David
1$ Evans, James Watson, Barney Gil
San and Mrs: Ford, with her. baby lashed
to her breast The last sled carried the
four children of Edward Ballon. The
following persons reported dead were
rescued alive: Andrew White, .after
being under : the snow twelve heurs;
Frederick Culinan, after being buried
sixteen hours, and, Mr Keist, in the
drift six hours. Besides thjse, Mr.
Ford, though not covered by , the ava
lanche, was badly hurt The body of
ono of the Chinamen was not found.' j
Mrs. Ford had a premonition of dan
ger, and begged her husband to take her
and their child to a place of aafety on
that fatal night, saying she felt sure an
avalanoe was coming. Mrs, Ballon,
Mrs. Keist, Mrs.' Hewitt, Mrs. Johnson
and her four ohildren, and Hans Olsen
and four children are still in Alta in con
stant danger. A rescue party went
out the following morning organized to
bring them in.
Snow slides in that neighborhood are
of daily occurrence. One occurred on
Saturday last in Superior Gulch, which
the survivors at Alta feel sure resulted
in the death of Samuel Prescott B.
Angere, and John White, all of whom
were working there. Two men going
there to see if they were safe got in
sight of their cabin and turned when
they saw a snow slide start, and in an
instant almost the cabin was obliterated
in a sea of snow. The concussion oj
the slide threw the two men violently to
the ground, d tbey hurried away for
f-MT cf another tlido. It if t;'.rtt'3
tiuu. ik iM.ui i, 1 1 1 1 i a?Blftinoia, iivana
south of Alta, was killed by the slide of
Friday night, as nothing has been seen
or heard of him since. In three slides
in Alta, ail of which occurred on Fri
day, thirty persons have been killed.
Changes la the Solar System.
The phenomena attending earthquakes
give oontinnanoe to the theory of the
origin of our solar system known as the
Nebular Hypothesis. According to this
theory, the solar system was once avast
fire mist,- which gradually condensed
and finally evolved the sun, the planets,
and their satellites. Originally incan
descent, as these bodies parted with
their headwater and dry land appeared,
Bull finally organic 'life, vegetable and
animal made its appearance. . Oar earth,
Mars, and possibly Venus, are the only
planets, it is believed, capable of sus
taining the various forms' of life such as
"we . are . acquainted with. . Jupiter, and
Saturn are known to be huge globes,.
fire and mist, small eunsin themselves.
without life on their surfaces; but per
haps sustaining life on the satellites by
which they are surrounded. One other
fact has been established by scientific
demonstration; that is, the identity of
the materials that compose the univecse.
We now know that suns, stars, planets,
and moons are composed of carbon,
hydrogen, sodium, iron, and other
chemical substances such as we are fa
miliar with on this earth. The universe
we live in ia 'full of mystery, and it is
good for all of us occasionally to lift
our thoughts 'to tha marvels suggested
by astronomy and the study of physics.
It IS well said by Kant, the philosopher:
"There are , two things that are to me
perennial sources of awe and wonder,
the starry heavens above us and the
moral law within." Demoresfa Monthly,
A Woman with Brittle Boacs.
A curious case which is now puzzling
CMcago physicians was reported to the
Chicago Medical Society. : ; The patient
is a young woman whose bones are so
brittle that they break at the slightest
jar. She has been under treatment for
sixteeH years, having been afflicted ever
since her birth. Over 170 fractures
hare occurred in her life, and her ribs,
Iges and arms have been affected She
weighs about forty-five pounds. Merely
stepping from the sofa to. the floor or
btumbliner on the carpet is sufficient
to cause the breaking of a bone. '
These fractures heal slowly. . Her
doctor has had splints bound about her
lee for two years at a time. The doctors
think that har bones consist principally
of hollow shells. ; The .broken bones
have knit together in uncouth shapes
and sheas badly deformed. Her muscles
are well developed, with the exception
of those IwMch have been ' atrophied
through disuse. Da, Blanehard has
made casta of her limbs, and intends to
1 preserve them in. some ueoicai uuuw
lion.
- A DriAL.-ome time ago It was re
ported that the Ice crop of the Penobecot
B'tver in Maine was ruined, becaue an
oil faotorv on : its banks was burned a
few weeks ago, and eome of the oil ran
intq the river. . The Induicriai Vur
wil ioi Bangor pronouncds this ' report
laJse. and siiows that
been; true, J. T O :4
If It ATOfflSDOffl.
A uah is never so fortunate or unfor
tunate as he -thinkvff;,: 'rM , --f'.'::i-t;.
Mxstebx always magnifies danger as
the fog magnifies the sun. I - v..
Coksolatios consoles only those wb
are willing to be consoled.
SuiPLtcmr: of character is the natural
result of profound thought
Satibists gain the applause of others
through fear, not through love. i
Au honest men will bear watching
It is the rascals who cannot stand it ;
Som men will never learn anything.
A tramp tried to rob an editor the other
day.
A wotHAH in some. States cannot- sue
aod be sued, but she can complain and
be courted.;' .. ' ; . . i . : -1 '
Snow 7 balls : are lashibaable. Xou
don't require te attend them. They
eome to you.
Tan man who has rooms to let In a
business building is about the only party
that welcomes office seekers. .;
A Caiofobsia damsel was highly ot
fended because her mother presented
her a cook book as a wedding present
As ordinary train of passenger
coaches is said to ba worth '. $93, 000.
This .does not include the porter of the
sleeping-car. "' . . , "J-
Gskbbaii LiOGAS believes the ofBoe
should seek the man, but the man
Bhould be around when the office starts
out on the seeking business.
"Kobbtb," said the visitor kindly,
"have you any little brothers and sis
ters?" "No," replied wee Bobbie,
solemnly, "I'm all the ohildren we've
got."- ... :.;,''
"Yott may speak," said a fond mother,
'about people having strength of mind,
but whan it comes to .strength of don't
mind, my son William eurpasss every
body I ever knewj - .
One who spake United States only -"Did
the deceased die under suspicious
circumstances?" asked a coroner of a
t rural witness. "Naw, he didn't: he
died in the water, under the ice."
A Kansas cowbow stopped a stage full
of passengers and made them wait while
he read a poem of thirty-two verses
dedicated to his Maryt-Jane. There
are some things as bad. as shooting.
TorcHnro extract from a novel
"Casting herself between her brothei
and bis intended victim, the fair Inez
exclaimed in a voice that vibrated1 with
agony : 'Bodelpho, do not kill him, for
if you did, he would surely die.'"
Misteess Jane, I read in the news-
.r-ide is deciilly b.vi t?t Ut?:V--v.
You must do very careioi uiat a ear nine
FidodoS not Set hold of any of L tho
children's candy. Philo Irogreaa.
A sheewd old lady cautioned her mar
ried daughter against worrying her hus
band too much,and concluded by say
ing: "My child, a man is like an egg.
Kept in hot water a little while, he may
Lo 1 soft; but keep him in there too long
and he hardens."
Tine loving wife of a dealer in citj
milk was looking for a present for hex
husband. She remarked to a friend:
I want to get something new novel
to him." "In that case," said the
friend, who was buyer of the husband,
'I would give him a eow. l
"Yotmtripto Italy must have been
very pleasant," said a young ladv to
Simpson, who had just returned from a
foreign strand. "Very interesting, in
deed," Baid he. "Now, tell me," said
she, f'dsea Italy really look like a boot?
You knowjthat's the way it looks on the
Bzx the merry skaters glide
Bamp, bump I
Freely, fairly they slide ,
Bump I ' '
Airy mazes they are treading 1
Is it flying, swimming, threading?
. Bump, bump 1 '
It is very, very spreading
Bump!
4 San Francisco Wasp.
IT hat Constitutes Happiness.
In what consists this much songht-fox
blessing? In nothing has opinion so
wide a range. Demand an answer from
any number of persons and not two
among them will return the same.
Even your ehoscn companion and bosom
friend will differ from you. And how
the ideas as to what: canstitute happi
ness change with succeeding years. The
youth er maiden would soorn that which
to the child appeared the very summit
of enjoyment-' A few mere years, and
sober middle-age looks baekward with a
calm pity to the maiden's love dream, or
the young man's eager and adventurous
pursuits. And as years advance, so do
tastes and inclinations vary; until, per
haps, life has stretched to that saddest
period of all, when poor humanity re
turns to childhood's joys. Some who
have studied this problem maintain that
the most exquisite degree of happiness
is attained only by the contrast of some
past sorrow for the landscape that has
no shadows can never reveal the glori
ous brilliancy of sunshine. The rays of
happiness, lrke those of light, are color
less when unbroken. Sometimes it is
all gladness and sunshine and heaven it
self is not fax off, and then it changes
suddenly and clouds shut out the sky.
A Southibh poet died, and several
ladies interested themselves in making
up money to buy a monument, a local
exchange says, to put at the head of his
grave. It would be well for the inen to
do like Work and pus one at the grave
of the poet's wife, who was one of the
most patient won?fflio sum's tyranny.
The poet would often say on leaving the
house: Charlotte, I shall probably be
absent two hours. I shall, on . my re
turn, be drunk, and if I find you! in the
house on my return I shall flog you like
thunder." h Charlotte 4 waa wise enough
.it could not nave i w swiimin ao0xioaM.wiMMi-..sMw.? r 'aw : a jg? w : gx ii::
- -uxunaeniora Yetumed. i4 4;ajr'A '-. t t,w,.,ri; ' ,y .r;i:i v1 4Xc;;"tr tHH.i-
Hi SEVER, SHED A TEAR.
til BetWi a KMa Dlsjnoa4 Drew Bis
' On a Bubarban theatre train the other
night, a little party were talking of pa
thetio soenee upon the ' stage, and how
they were variously aff acted .'by them,
. "For my part," said a dapper young
man, "I never yet saw anything on the
stage : that could moisten my eye. I
leave the crying to little boys and wo
men." - - .,
:"Oh,7ou do, do you?" said a blufl
old gentleman, an officer of tine of the
railroads; "every time I hear a young
man talk as you do I feel like telling a
little incid3nt that onoe came under mv
notice in'New York city.' 'A party bf us
sat in a box; 'Hazel Kirke' ' was the
pkyApnwTof ns had ever seen it . " I
shed a tear quietly and unobserved, but
rough old General McRae cried like
boy, . He was president of a Georgia
railroad then, and was in New York on
business.- He was a regular martinet in
his profession, ' stern and unrelenting.
He was an old bachelor, too, and so fax
as is known never, had tender feelings
toward woman or kin. He had lived a
life solitary- and absolutely unsehti
meniai. we were au surprisea to see
such emotional suon a man, but none
of us said anything except young
George r , of Atlanta. He laughed
at the old General s weakness.
'"Can you witness such' a scene as
that with dry eyes ?' inquired, the Gen
eral, with all his old sternness of manner
and speech. ; ; ' ; '
' 'Why, of course I can. I could
laugh at it even as I laugh at you. ; J
: 'See here, George 7-, said Gen
eral MoBae, with great 'earnestness,
you are cashier of a bank in Atlanta.
In that bank ray company has many
thousands of dollars deposited. Imme
diately on my return home every dollar
of our deposits shall be withdrawn. You
may be an honest man, but I do not feel
safe with our money in an institution
where one of the responsible officers is
a person who talks as you talk to-night.'
r "Upon bis return to Atlanta the Gen
eral did aa he promised. And luckily,
tod, for in less than six months that
bank was nearly ruined by a heavy em
bezzlement by its cashier. "--Cliicago
Herald. r , .
Designs - for Spring Dresses.
Cashmere of the finest twills will be
ased for both house and street dresses
in the early spring months, and for
cool days in summer, say3 Harper's
Bazar. All the light shades of reseda,
fti.-L-.-e-.? ros?s.' oMrf, jnd Vowr Re
v- jsnri'Vd, ,ke3 : .a oj -i-
ployed for the entire dress when it is
made in tailor fashion, but there are
velvets of similar shades to be com-,
bined with it for more elaborate eos
tames. Gilt braiding, not merely in
parallel lines, but in embroidery designs
of vines for borders, or separate figures,
stars, blocks, or crescents, will be the
trimmings when only cashmere is used.
When velvet is employed there will be
fine cords and piping folds edging vari
ous parts of the corsage, while folds or
bands of velvet will trim the skirt.
Those who object to velvet as heavy for
summer dresses will have the accessories
of watered silk or of gross faille of the
same shade. - Black cashmere with close
silk embroidery upon it iu interlinked
rings, leaves, daisies, or other small flow
ers will form the over-dress for skirts of
gros grain or moire silks, and for qaitcu-l
young ladies the gilt or silver w
cashmere will be employe ; ?
model for these has all iV
part of the skirt cow
due' flounces of.,'
cat out on -t1- ' ?,v''-"'
that curve ; v '
falls 'two it '. - '
with interlAiaCTi
. -i. il - a i
over it; tcB-urapery , v . !.
curves much-deeper ti . "k -
right, and eachis cai. ' . j .-,
waist on the sides to meet a u -' .
of cashmere that covers the t .' ; " ' ; 7 i
of the skirt The baok may hang ia
full pleats quite straight from belt tor
foot, but for those who need a more
bouffant tournure ft is caught up in a
single bunch of pleats on each side and
in the middle quite near the top, and
thence falls plainly. Shirring will be
used ou the front of the basque of such
a dress, and may be dono in the cash
mere itself, or, which is a better plan,
in two smala scarfs set on down the
f ront, and made of the silk used in the'
skirt Otherwise the basque is very
plainly fashioned, and may have a slight
postilion pleating, or else be smooth
over. the tournure; it is necessary, how
ever, that it be quite short on the sides
and behind in order to be in good style.
Bad to Stand It i
Count Vasfli tells the following anec
dote in illustration of the Austrian Em-,
peror's courtesy and simplicity : Having
ugent business to dispatch, the Kaiser
had his dinner placed on his writiDg
table. His akte:de-campdined at the
same time in the adjoining room. After
the meal the Emperor opened the door
and said: "You can go; I shall work
alone. What do you think of this food ?"
"It seems to me, your Majesty, that the
dinner was not first-rate," replied the
aide3e-camp. The Emperor thetf ext
claimed: "What difference does' that
make to you ? You can maLe up for it
at a hotel, while I am obliged to content
myself with this trash. I am no! al
lowed to go where others go." .
Dn. " Hklmbou .Rsleaskd, -Dr.
Henry Helmbold, the great "Bacha'i
man. was released from the Nomvf
Insane Asylum, in Pennsylvaniajp?
had been oonfined there amoeEv;-
188f Th-Imiaey..CorAmis4sA 'VifcMtf!
him to be of sound mind y$UZtf$iM
.with of ioy.Pi
THE JOKER'S CORNER;
BTKAY BITS OV H.njlOK FOUND
. THK BUA1UROUS COJbUaiNH.
The Jadxe was There-Ths Goad - aaal
Bad UIUm It Cured Illm Mot mt uU
SeultlT-TWe Beiuitllal Hmw. Kia.
!
HOT VESI SENSITIVE, f -
Some Northern people imagine that
the Southern African is as fall ot per
sonal pride as one of PenimoreiCooper's
Indians. . Uncle 3ose, of Austin, is not
one of that kind. 3
. "1'se gwinter quit- I has to look np
anodder place," he said to his employer,
John Ingle, a wealthy merchant
' " What's . the matter with you, Uncle
Moao?" - ' ...j :
"Do bizness manager, Mr. White,
has not kicked me in de las' two mumfs.
Not onoe has he lifted his foot ag'in
me." y ' ;
"I ordered him not to kick you again,;
I don't allow anything of that kind in
this establishment I intend! that no
body shall hurt your feelings, Uncle
Mose." ' 1 1
"Ef I don't get no kicks Tee gwinter
quit" I
' Are you crazy ? Do you yrsnt to be
kicked and cuffed about ?"
"Yes, sah, I does. Ebery time de
bizhess manager kicked or puffed my
ears when he was mad, he got; ashamed
of bisself afterward, and gub me a quar
ter. I'se done lct enough money at
ready, wid dis heah foolishness about
hurtin my feeling3"--rsxaV Stftlngt.
CONMJCT. ;i
What shall I do to gam eternal life?" u
Discharge aright j
The simple dues with which each day is rife.
Tea, with thy might. A"
Etejperf ect schema of action thou devise
. -T-.t Will life be fled; ;i
. While he who ever acts as conscience cries,
Shall live, though dead.
' ' ECHILLEB. .
- PIT EDI TOP; .
An anecdote is told of the early days
and the time when court was first held
in this county in a log tavern. An, ad
joining log stable was used as a jail, the
stalls answering as cells for the prisoners.
Judge T. was on the bench, and in the
exercise of his judicial functions severely
reprimanded two young lawyers who
had got into a personal dispute. '
A herculean backwoodsman, attired in
a red flannel Bhirt, stood among the'
auditors in the apartment. He was1
much pleased at the judge's leoture
having himself boon practicing ,; at
"another bar" and hallooed outtohia'
worship (who happened to be cross
eyed): i 4 ' " ,
"Give it to 'em, old gimletieyes 1"
"Who is that ?" cTemandea the judge.
fie t3a-.,:: .; -' r-'i crvcr
the rest, nd, drawing himself up to hia
full height, vociferated: ' .
"It's this here old hoss 1" p ;
The judge called out in apecnliarlj
UVUUOU
dry, nasal tone: "Sheriff, take that old
hoss,' put him in 'the stable, and sea
that he is 'not stolen' before! morning,'.
J-PilUbura XHsiMtch-; '
. ' ' BIACTOtm SHOW. Ij'v.... - 4i ;
W Oh, the Bnow, the beautiful snow.
'L-i- (bhnt that Uoor,
FillinK the sky and the earth below;
(Yen, you can shovel it off for a quarter.) &
'Over the house-topaTover the street; : '
(tlO an hour for a sleigh? G(jod heavens I;4?
Over the heads of. the peeplo-you meoti f-fjf ;
Arrest that boy for inow-balliiig I) Mf,
Dancing, J- ' . . ,."'
Farting.
:' k, ... ;'
8'
Eit the p
' i'J. ':
iV
if: '--';.-
''C;
'.
.v' '"Jr-v,'':.::- '
' ? . . I , ;.. . t :
'VJ':.!-'
coat. ! - ; ti,.;
fice f'.'.IVv v-t;
with' iiijr : : .
nhnnA Hnnitl..
1 1 h
want you to dine wnai j
and I will notify Mrs. Bro ..
you. (Speaking through theV
. s a :ik.
this evening. Now listen how dV'V ; .i'-;i'f
her reply will come back: -.;; : f"i0
Mrs. Brown's reply (om!nff '? -
with startling dtmotnesAs- v.-'f
taryA Rmith if hA trilllEsl ','-.i-)
'lOteh
HO USE.
A citizen of Brooklyn was m
door of his ofBoe the ether m; ; ' A
a young man who had a bill i
"F5r shoeing at horse two o,
shoeing a horse V exclaim
man, as he glanced at ty .
I haven't owned a horse,; s,:Uv.
years r ' '.:'':: ,sy'-)
"I don't know anything "ah.
replied the young man; '"but Vj 'fftX
the bill to collect"
t ...
; h'-v
"Oh, well, I'll p
ing down to the g$ .
bill, for three menV '.
shut up, bnt I bp.
to pay for Bhot
Bho-r,f'v;5i4p
might as i :
. -.
uy s ga
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at-'.
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