HICKORY PRESS: FEBRUARY 14, 18.55.
LIFE AT THE CAi'i i'AI
61 LL NYC TELLS OF THE THINGS THAT
HAPPEN THERE,
The President and Ills Receptions' and
: Some of the People Who Drop In on :-
Him William Ascends the Washington
Monument To Correspondents.
Copyright, 1S05. hj Edgar W. Nje-l '
T a err tv rrvYitr
It is Raid that there are 5,000 tons of i
money in the vaults of the treasury i
building here at the preseut time, and ?
yet ono hardly dares to say he has any j
ready money on hand for fear that the i
government will want to borrow it It j
has only been a little while since it bor
rowed $50,000,000. and yet the gold re
serve is shrinking day by day.- To rem
edy our shortage a law is passed calling
for an income tax, and then we have to
borrovr money to pay the collectors.
I have never been so thoroughly de
monetized myself since the time I lec
tured under the auspices of the Young
Men's Christian association at Hono
lulu. I had expected that the door re-
I WEARING THE EXAMINER.
ceipts, of which I was to receive 75 per
cent, would pay my expenses while
there, an d I had a round trip ticket
which would takeTmo back to San Fran
cisco, but I was unfortunate, for the
Young Men's Christian association of
Honolulu was not a strong society, and
.a report got out also that I had made
light of the Sandwich Island aristocracy.
This was not true.
Whr.t I said was that my great-grand-undo
from Maine, a wealthy whaler in
1820, stopped off at Honolulu and was
made a good deal of by the mayor, who
had him up at his house for dinner.
The native people of Honolulu are
sensitive about this incident, it seems,
and hate to have it thrown up to them.
I did not know that, and so I said to the
secretary: "I understand that one of
your ancestors had my great-granduncle
up homo for dinner. Is that so?"
He fidgeted around a good deal, but
did not reply. Wishing to open up the
best of feeling, of course I said I did not
bring up tho subject to create trouble. I
was only too glad if tho people of Hono
lulu wero pleased with him, for we at
home always sort of feared that he was
so rich ho might not agree with them.
This got out among tho people, and
my lecture was a frost. In the meantime
T had lost ray return ticket to San Fran
cisco, and my physical culture class did
not succeed.
It was at this time that I became de
monetized, and no ouo today knows how
. to better sympathize with tho govern
ment than I da .
Recently it has been charged against
me that while in Honolulu I woro a
copy of The Sunday Examiner two weeks
at a time. This charge is made to injure
me by people who are envious of my so
cial position. I do not pretend to deny
tho abovo charge, but only to extenuate
so far as possible and excuse ray conduct
on tho ground that the steamers were
not running very regularly at the time,
and somo one else got my new Examiner
whilo I was taking my studs out of the
soiled one.
As soon as times pick up a little in
this bombastic country it would be a
good idea to erect a new executive man
sion. Why, there isn't a policeman in
New York who hasn't a better shanty
than tho president of tho United States.
" Tho building wa modeled after that
of tho Duke of Leicester of Dublin, but
tho cockroaches camo from Virginia.
The White House is 170 feet long and
86 feet wide, including a portico.
, James Hobau, an Irishman, was tho
architect. A great- many peoplo think
that tho president lives at the White
House and has his offico at the capitol,
but this is not sx Tho president lives
over a mile and a half from tho capitol,
and when congress is restless that is
none too far, he says.
Tho president baa his office right in
tho bouse, and when I-ay that he has a
good inside job for tho winter I am be
traying no confidence reposed in me,
Any one can see that it is more conven
ient for the president to havo his office
at home and a hearty hot dinner when
tho whistle blows for 12 o'clock instead
of having to carry a can of cold lunch,
consisting of a big pickled cucumber
mashed into a custard pie.
The president holds a general public
reception or levee from time to time in
. what is called tho blue room. It is fit
ted up in blue and gold. It is 40 by 30
feet in size and oval in shape. Most of
tho rooms in the first floor of the White
House look as cozy and homelike as the
Brooklyn bridge.
I would hate to keep houso there,,
and that is one reason why. I have so
persistently rejected all - overtures from
my friends which in any way associated
my name with fthe presidency.
The otfier day among those waiting to
greet the executive and shake him by
the hand was' a plain'man with pallid
eyes and 18 carat hair. He had brought
bis wife, and she had brought the baby.
The baby was a new thing even to the
parents, and it was tryi-;. .. .: stern
ly at tio chandelier, but l neck was so
limber that e rrj little while tho object
escaped. ' . -
The child had evidently been convey
ed for a long distance through the cold,
for its chin was completely raw from
exposure. It had a bottle with nothing
in it but space, and ever and anon the
poor thing made a hungry, grab at the
cork, while the mother looked over. the
costumes of' other callers and mentally
put a price on them. .
Mr. Cleveland no doubt enjoys meet
ing his fellow citizens, but as a general
thing ho does not expect them to report
to him as soon as they are born.
' Of course society in Washington must
of necessity be somewhat niixed; espe
cially whero it is of-, an official character
and subject. tov almost constant change,
but even here I think the line should be
drawn somewhere, and it would .be a
good plan to admit no one into society
till after christening.
At the president's New Year recep
tion this year one gent appeared in a
neat fitting swallowtail and full even
ing dress. It is only fair to say here that
even the servants at the White House
declined to recognize him.
We must do something to suppress
this sort of lawlessness, or other nations
will poke foil at us. I attended a funeral
once when one of the pallbearers, a young
man who had not yet matriculated very
much, wore tan shoes, a silk hat and a
sweater.,.
Such things as that awake the derision
and contumely of effete dynasties and re
veal the fact that our ancestors in Great
Britain, prior to the invasion by the Ro
mans, ran wild in the marshes where
London now stands, ate snails, shells
and all, woro nothing but a fur boa (in
winter) and shot each other with cross
guns. , Let. thoso who' wish to do so trace'
with patient industry their wavering
and wabbly lineage back to the May
flower; but, as for me, I am mighty
willing to let bygones be bygones.
Ever since tho nuptials of Pocahontas
there has been a strain of Indian blood
among tho F. F. V. 's, and doubtless no
body born under a republican form of
government could be more haughty on
slighter provocation than those who
traced their lineage back to the tepee of
Powhatan, or the original life saving
station established by Pocahontas.
Pocahontas, it is said, never woro cor
sets, never shut off the view of the stage
by means of a war bonnet, with the car
cass of a dead bird in it, never bought
Christmas presents for people whom she
loathed, nor loaded a Christmas tree with
glucose candy and ash receivers for the
poor. She never waited till her husband
got into bed and then asked him to bring
in the oleander. After Mr. Rolfe got
bald she did not use his hairbrush and
leave her long dark tresses thereon to
tickle his phrenology.
Colonel Cornucopia J. Wigwam Of
Virginia claimed to belong in a distant
way to tho Pocahontas band of hostiles,
and one day ho said in an impressive
way to Major Borax, a rival who belongs
to the other family of which Virginia
is composed:
"Sir, I have the blood of Pocahontas
in my veins!"
"Never mind, colonel," said Borax,
"I shall honor your confidence, sir. I
shall never repeat it to any one, sir."
"I am a nativo of Virginia," said a
very bright Washington woman the oth
er evening, "but I am white."
Last week I ascended the Washington
monument. I do not claim any special
credit for doing so, because there is an
elevator which goes to the top every half
hour, and I rode.
The top of the monument on a crisp
winter morning is a good place to go
and cool one's fevered brow. . '
The site for this great obelisk was
chosen by .Washington himself. The
monument is hollow inside, and it will
' TliE PRESIDENT nECEIVIXG.
no doubt some day be worked up into
flats. It is the only place ia Washing
ton, except tho dome of the capitol and
Washington's tomb, not utilized for
lodgings. In a morning paper you see
such little adlcts as these:
tf K u& '
p
"Furnished room, cor. W st. and
Arizona avenue, northwest. Nice, quiet
place, facing the cemetery. Good board
with the family if desired. Advantages
of home life and interchange of views
with intelligent people. Only $18 per
month. Suitable for member of con
gress. " .
Or, if this room would not suit, hero
is another one:
"Nice, quiet room, with use of sew
ing machine. Handy to Mount Vernon.
Good, quiet forest near by, in which to
rehearse speeches. Teams passing every
little while, offering good facilities for
riding down town. Home cooking.
Suitable for senator. Terms, $20 per
month, in advance. Address B., this of
fice." "
In closing this letter, allow mo to say,
that correspondents who write me
anonymously, inclosing money, do so at
their own risk. One can have no idea
of the temptations which beset one who
spends the winter 'here at the capita!,
where everything is so expensive. In
North Carolina I get tho corjriluu Yancy
county quail for $1 a dozen, while hero
one cannot get a quail's giblets for that.
So those who send money . to - me
anonymously, to ; bo used for , various
philanthropical purposes, are placing
temptations about me which may prove
my overthrow. I am a good man,' but I
have embezzled more postage stamps
sent me by autograph people than one
would r believe to look upon my pure
young i ace.-
False Alarm.
Mr. McSwat went home late from a
club dinner tho other night, and in his
haste he forgot to remove his gloves
when he went to bed. About 3 o'clock
a. m. he aroused Mrs. McSwat with the
agonizing cry:
"Lobelia! Lobelia 1 I believe on my
soul I'm getting paralyzed! There isn't
a bit of feeling in my haudsl" Chicago
Tribune. .
An Incentive.
Mrs. Robbius John, I don't think I
will get up today. I feel too weak to
move.
Bobbins I'm awfnllyorry, dear. By
the way, some one has taken tho house
across the street and is going to move
in this morning.
Mrs. Bobbins John, I guess I will
get up after all. Harlem Life.
Taken From Real Life.
Briggs Old man, what is tho proper
way to leave a drawing room?
Griggs Just watch the way a girl
gets off a street car in . motion, and
you'll have it. New York Herald.
Sociological.
Professor Marriage is a very close
relation.
Miss- Oldie Indeed? I have found
it to be quite a distant one. Exchange.
No Wonder.
When a man is informed there are
triplets in his family, he can hardly be
lieve his own census- Richmond Dis
patch. .
Modern Man's Sollloquj.
The bloomers add no beauty to the female
form divine, . .
But these new fashioned women will advance.
If emancipation notions ever strike that wife
of mine.
She is welcome to my Sunday broadcloth
pants.
She can have my broadcloth breeches, she ran
have my coat and vest.
She can have my laundered linen and all
that.
She can have my standup collars and new
necktio and the rest.
But be darned if she can have my 6tovepipe
hat.
I must wear something.
Nebraska Journal.
The action or the non-action of a
Democratic Congress xloes not change
the principles or the politics of an in
telligent and genuine Depiocrat.
Coi!h-cure, the most prompt and
crreciive remedy for diseases of tho
throat and lungs, is Aycr's Cherry
Pectoral. As an emergency medi
cine, for the cure of
Croup, Sore Throat,
Lung Fever and
Whooping Couh,
AVER'S
Cherry Pectoral
canr.ut lo equaled.
E. M. Bn A TV LEY,
. . r mm I x-t r
the American Bap
tist Publishing Society, Petersburg..
Va., endorses it, as a cure for violent
colds, bronchitis, etc. Dr. Drawley
also adds: To all ministers suffering
from threat troubles, 1 recommend
lesry IPecfora!
Axtxded Hcdxl at Vcrlfi Tair.
ATEiTS PILLS Cere Lher ad Stoch Trails
HE SL8IST
US MS. EES?
WILL COST fllLUONS.
Orouad to B broken For the Waldorf Addi
tion. Xew York, Feb. 9. Ground will be
brokeii for the $3,000,000 addition to
the Waldorf Hotel next week. It will
front on Thirty fourth street, and bo
so large t hut the present luflguilicent
structure will bo the annex. Three
years will be required for the building,
but when built it will be the biggest
in the world. Meanwhile they say
Delmonieo is trying to get the Man
hattan Clubhouse lor anew restaurant
on a giand hcale.
Fourth class postmasters . were ap
pointed to day by the Postmaster Gen
eral as follows:
At DhIus, Mecklenburg county, S. I.
Price, vice J. A. Thomasou resigned.
At l linty, Yancey county, O.
Cox, vice H. E. Cox resigned.
At Kay, Madixon county, Levi Ham
lin, vice J. S. Gader resigned.
At Yadkin College, Dnvidson eouuty,
Lillian Thompson to t-ucceed her fath
er, M. L. Thompson, dead.
Tlu htar route for carrying tho
mail from Morgautoii to Leiitur has
been, cut out. this caiues the mail from
Lenoir to Morganton to go over fifty
miles'and cause-only one mail where
belore there were three.
Perfect Health.
Keep the system in perfect or
der by the occasional use of
Tutt s Liver Pills. They reg
ulate the bowels and produce
A Vigorous Body.
For sick headache, malaria, bil
iousness, constipation and kin
dred diseases, an absolute cure
TUTT'S Liver PILLS
AMERICAN RAILWAY GUIDE.
Do vu travel? Are vou a shipper?
The "Rami McNnlly 'Railway (iuide
ami If and-Book"' contains all pertinent
information. Ask your Newsdealer
frr ir. If your, drufrtrit't or News deal
er has not trot it order one of the
News-boy on the trains. The uide
is indispensable.
5 Lil
Butter,
Eggs
Other Produce to
- - - - DAVIS; N ILL & CO.,
308 10th Street N. W. WASHINGTON, D. C.
You will receive highest
or handle on Commission.
""Quick Sales and Prompc
handling goods five per cent.
C-lmo.
'm. In
4jjX
9
Greatest of
JO Vhich was the Most Widely
iiiagaxinc ia me
CO
9Z XkV
Tie- Cosmo
oooo
1.
T AT A MERPL V tr Ttnrr
jo ri
5 MflMirJAI IN and rm
- -
W rnlUL. .w-w..b MiC
Ov w
&rC you in THE COSMorOUTAX X556
iO And vou can have all -
O this. Loth your local na-
yy pef n The Cosmopol- w : --1' ., , -'-r'.w Co
a year much less than e-
0 5oa iorzistly poij fcr p. :
T" i '
CO 3ie, when it was r.ot so
E-xxI a maibc as now.
d conditions n .
'iablvattitnw.t0n
- n - . in,
-OT . .W -
an
xveuiaior i ie natural, peru '
: .
junction, ana a aootmny and l7-
ing Nervine. For this purpose10-
Dr. Fitrca's Faicrita Prescrisi?.,
is the only medicine so crrtiiin C I
curat! re action that it can be mjizj3
teed. Your money ia murned w
does not cure. u it
In Maidenhood, Womanhood, a
Motherhood, it invigoratri ri
braces up the exhausted. run-cWT
orerworked and delicate: a : lav, 7?:
baniabea all Nenrous WcknrsPtv4
Spasms, Hysteria, Chorea. orsV $
tus's Dance; corrects all unnaturii Vr
regularities of monthly tunrtioni?!
cures Periodical Pains. WfikSii4
ueannar uown jenewtion. iuTw
ache. Catarrhal lnflammlrir
Ulccratlon and kindred maiadw
For those about to becoS
mothers, it is a priccles tvr
for it lessens the pains and trik
of childbirth, ebortens laor-
ana tne penoa or confinement
abundance of nourishment fr
tho child. IQt
83 SMEr!?7oHRCI&
I. CORDOVAN".
ntENCH A.CMAMEUX3 CALF.
3.SPQUCE,3S0LE
LADIES-
Over Ona Million Peopla wear the
W. L. Douglas $3 & $4 Shoes
AU our shoes are equally satisfactory
They jrlvo tho beat valuo for the money.
They equal custom shoes In styla and fit.
Thelf wearing- qualities are unsurpassed.
Tha prices are uniform, stamped on sole.
Prom $i to Sj saved over other makes.
If your dealer cannot supply yen we can. Sold by
Shuford, Setzer & Co-
Hickory, N. C.
Moore & Hoke,
Granite Fulls, N. C.
H. C. DENNY'
City Barber
(Shop moved to Main Mrrt ironnd Floorj
mcKour, - - .. CAUOLINA
The best work and lowest- prices. '
Most handsome compai intents anc
superb equipments, (jive hiiu a call.
Y
Poultry, and
Cash Prices. Y'tMuy outright
Returns.1' Commission for
"Send for our Price JList.
09
Combination ! I $
By Special-
Arrangement : 1 1
the Magazines,
O t
Circulated Illustrated Monthly d
world curing 1894.
: 't . . .... Ct
tuiiipin- Trunour me local paper j
f mi ,
. we L,cli iusiraici mommies rep- q-
iiiugai ana talent ol the world. Dur- rfj
c auiesi autnors. the cieTerest artists, C-
pa-CS. with oVrr inctMtuWc. . C.
Co
? II ji ir
' GO
OS
And conditions
OU
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