BILL NYE ItEJ'LIK S.
HE TELLS A CORRESPONDENT WHAT
HE THINKS ABOUT WOMAN.
Beginning With III Own FalL With Few
Itemarkt Aboat the Business manager,
lie Goes on the Right Side of the Ques
tion. Copyright, 1805. by Edgar W. Nye.
Washington. D. C
Eon. Edprar W. Nye:
DcAit Sitt I am willing to pay you any
reasonable j -rice to write trie out or give me
any infamation where 1 can get some good
argument on the negative side of this: "Re
solved, That the women of the United States
should be allowed to vote." I am on the nega
tive and iu-l pome literature, which I will
freely pay for if I can get it. Do not slight me.
Tell me what it costs, and I will pay in ad
vance anything reasonable. ,
My Young Fkiem There was a
time a few rears ago when I would pros
titute tny jrcat gift of word painting to
almost anything at a price.
I fell in the summer of 1876 when a
sad looking man came in and laid on my
desk the statement that "Brignoli, Jr.,
will be along here in abont a week and
remain a little over a fortnight. "
In a moment he had gone, having
thoughtlessly left a square package con-
' tainlng a box of cigars. I was glad to
get the cigars and tickled that Brignoli,
THE GIFT OF CIGAIIS.
Jr., thonglit enough of me to send cigars
to me, probably on his father's account,
for Ihadbcc:) one of his father's "stand
ing room only" at one time.
In the liaf-h of t lie eye the foreman
had the little note out in the composing
room and the printers -the foreman and
a small soiled boy took several of the
cigars, and wo were quite merry, yet I
felt that I was doing a wrong, for ft ho
man who owned the paper was away for
much needed rest and change of scene
eating wild meat up the canyon and cor
responding with the sherF regarding a
criminal aclou the part of the editor by
means of which ho had thoughtlessly re
duced the Democratic majority and then
"flew as a bird to his mountains. "
But it was the beginning of my fall.
I had also turned when trodden upon
some weeks before by being sent to
board ont a bad account, which sowed
the seeds of gastritis and things. So I
began to be less technical about wedding
cako and other little acts of -kindness
which any child may show.
But, oli. how meanly I felt when
those cigars were all gone and Brignoli,
Jr. , came and turned out to bo a great
big coarse horse with a hoarse voice and
no expression to it Then we printed
some full sheet colored work for him and
got $G for it, and through our literary
influence the horse was sold for $200
more than he was worth.'
Since that time I have fallen over
and over again. My life has been a com
plete somersault.
But lately 1 see on the municipal press
a gross being -with a blno pencil, anjtl he
marks out beautiful word pictures re
garding Tiotels and railroads that pass in
the night. Does the business manager
seo in my work a paragraph that dwells
with tender sentiment on the beauties of
the Christian life, he pulls out a big blue
ship carpenter's pencil, and marking out
my noble paragraph ho calls up the tube
to the editor's room and says:
"Is Eccema there, the man that did
our soap work last year?"
'Yes, he's here, reading a paper."
" Well, send him down hero, I want
to seo if ho can't go to tho Throne of
Grace for a two column ad. Nye speaks
liighly of it "
That shows that tho business manager
suspects ma I paid a visit to the presi
dent a few weeks ago and spoke kindly
of him and his family. -It was cut out,
and in a week the position which I had
thought some of taking was given to
the business manager's niece.
I cannot, therefore, writ up your ar
gument for the press or otherwise, Per
ry, for it will not appear. It is said tliat
kind words can never die, but if in the
business manager's office on a warm day
you will notice something that is not a
dead letter. It will generally be some
kind word that I have said about a
"scenic route," or the toothsome viands
at some hotel where I liavo tarried.
There is more "dead matter" and
proud flesh in the waste paper basket of
the average, great metropolitan paper
than along tho tail of a trolley car.
That is not all, Perry. Do not rush to
the funny man or the reputed funny
man to get argument against the legal
rights of women. I was on that side of
the question once while at Yale. I sat
up all night with Blackstone and Coke
and the constitution, and a jug of milk
and with red eyes eyes full of unshed
. fears. L i.
life
As soon as 1 could get my laundry 1
went home (a little piece at a time l.
pausing now and then to help some bmy
farmer.
I learned in later years that my fail
ure with the great question wa3 thr.t
there was no negative to it
The question. Perry, is not shall we
or shall we not allow women to vote,
but about Ivw much longer shall we de
prive her of that right?
But perhaps I do not quite understand
your question.
You say, "I will pay you any rc-.c li
able price to write me out or give me
any infamation where I can get tome
good argument on the negative," eta
The spelling at your college is no
quaint that I liave had to prune it a gx!
deal, and possibly where you speak of
getting infamation you mean to accrue
some highly injurious or defamatory
point's against women generally, and .l
course including your mother and sisters
with the rest But, seriously, you uegu .
tive chaps must spell better or you can
not get the full benefit of your more
powerful arguments, and it is hurting
the rising generation on your side, too.
if the young student buys his agumeut
What would your mother i-r.y if s-he knew
you wrote me to prepare :m abusive ar
ticle about her, maybe while she's pray
ing for you?
For your stupid and ignorant letter I
pity you. For our insult and mir judg
ment of me I despise you, and for the
sake of the mother who bore you I here
by conceal your name from the world.
But times have changed now and the
'negative" on this question. The abler.t
orator of our country said the other da,
''The meaner a man is tho better he
considers himself than a woman."
In the early days you will find this
legend existed, according to Washington
Irving: "At first there were no women,
but wandering on one occasion by a dis
tant lake the.c;e pure and happy little
gillies, fresh from the hand of the Cre
ator, living on a purely vegetable diet
and free as a bird, came upon a covey
of women who had never seen a brxgain
day in their lives. "
Therefore, ilr. Irving says, they were
very slippery, and not having received
calls from , these gents they left word
that they were not in or not dressed and
then lit out with wonderful alacrity
Tho men became curious and rati afte
them like a lot of guests from a burning
hoteL But these mysterious sprinter?',
these strange living pictures, couldn't bo
caught They were too agile and eely
So they hired some men with rough
and leprous palms to overtake and se
cure some of these smooth yet evasive
gifls. Four were secured, and they be
come the mothers of our race.' I have al
ways been clear on tho origin of our
forefathers, but Mr. Irving has now set
my mind at rest regarding our four
mothers.
This origin of the Easter hat, as I may
call it,' may be found in almost the kuiuc
language, except where I have taken the
liberty to soften down and correct ti:c
harsh language in Irving 's "Life of Co
lumbus," volume 1, page 421.
Alexander says in his ' ' History of Wo
men," volume 1, page 1, "The Hindoos
liave' a legend which says ti nmen were
created with tails, and thatthe affair
being rather ugly, and also in the way,
catching in doors, and painfnl when the
better classes got to docking their slaves,
tho Creator cut off these tails, and not
wishing to throw away anything in
the great economy of nature he fashion
ed, with man's consent, these nubbins of
the gifted vet charitable man into wom
an." So they felt as one does who has tried
to sit on a mallet handle arranged on the
top of a croquet post in tho early fluff
and bloom of life's young springtime.
In those days physicaK force ran the
world, and, as Copernicus once said in a
speech in the grove back of his house,
"woman cut no ice wid him. " - '
Np man knoweth whence came wom
an. The rib roast that the press has
given her is wholly unworthy of her
73f . .
OXTIIErOST.
goodness and her greatness. But each cf
us knows how one woman came into our
lives and took us just as we were and
stuck by us.
Well do I remember-how my wife
came to me some 87 summers ago, when
the country was new. I can remember
as if it were yesterday.
I subscribed for her, and she came.
But what would you think of a party
like Chrysostoni, a man of standing in
his time, too, going on about women
this way: f
"I pronounce woman to be a necessary
evil, a natural temptation, adcsirable
calamity, a domestic, a deadly fascina
tion and a painted ill
If Chrys had lived in these days and
talked that way, his Christmas tree
' ' "
. i
t
filCKORY PRESS: MAY 16,
t ' H ill-
would have jooked like a holocaust in a
hoopskirt fat tory. I did not intend to
say a word on this subject, but u, you re
on the right side it Vreal fun to do it
THE INQUISITIVE CLERK. ;
lie Finds a Customer Who Is Too Much
For III iu.
The inquisitive clerk is everywhere
and everybody has had an experi
ence with him. One of the genus was
"called down" in a remarkably funny
manner in a west end drug store this
week. A tall, solemn looking man came
in and asked, for a half dozen six ounce
bottles.
"Bottles?" asked the clerk.
"Yes, bottles'," responded the man.
"With or without corks?" asked he.
4 With corks, was tho response.
"Want 'em empty?"
"Certainly."
"And new?"
"Do you suppose I want bottles you' vo
been keeping strychnine in?"
The clerk said such an idea' had never
entered his mind, and then asked :
"What do you want them for?"
"To break," responded the impatient
customer promptly.
"What?"
The customer beckoned to him to lean
over tho counter and caught hold of the
lapel of the clerk's coat and whispered:
"I wouldn't want the neighbors t3
get onto it, but I rather like to hear 'em
crack. Just a whim of mine. It's better
than breaking windows and gives me
just as much pleasure, but my supply
has given cut, and I want a few to hold
me over until the next carload arrives. "
The clerk looked at the customer
doubtfully.
"Oh, well, of course! It's nothing to
me, ' ' ho said
"Then what made yon ask about it?"
demanded the customer.
The cleric made no reply, but got the
bottles. As ho was making change, how
ever, the spirit moved him to ask:
"What do you do with the corks?" ,
4 Chew 'em, ' ' was the reply. ' It 's
good for the digestion. Try it some
time."
Then tho customer walked out, and
the clerk shook his head and tapped his
forehead, but he a?keti no more ques
tions. St Louis Post-Dispatch.
Between Two Millstones. "
"I am about to have gas put into my
house," eaid the citizen. "Is it neces
sary lo get a permit?"
"Yes, sir," replied the city hall offi
cial." 4 4 It will cast you $10."
"Ten dollars 1 What's that for?"
"Tho street's paved, isn't it?"
"Yc."
"Well, the $10 is for tearing up the
pavement."
"Bvit the men that are working for
the gas company do all tho tearing up. '
44 Certainly. The 10 is lo guarantee
that they'll replace the pavement in as
good shape as it was before. "
41 Why don't you hold the7 gas company
for that?"
"Tho work is done, for you. You are
the party responsible. "
4 4 Does the city ever inspect a pave
ment after it has been torn up and laid
down again?" ev
"Not that I have ever heard of. "
"Do you luiow that I had to pay for
the laying of that pavement in "the first
.place?"
'I presume you had."
"And that I have to make a stiff de
posit with the gas .company before it
will begin this work of putting in the
gas?"
4 4 Very likely."
"Then I have to pay the city for a
permit for the gas company to tear up
my own pavement ; I can't hold the gas
company responsible for the way in
which it is done; the city gives me
no protection, and I'm bled in advance
by the city ruid the gas company both
for the privilege of becoming a contribu
tor to tho coffers of the gas company.
That's the regular thing, is it?"
"That's about right" - .- .
"Do you call it a square deal?"
"My friend, you don't have to put
gas in your house if you don't want to.
Would you mind stepping to one side?
You're in the way of that man tliat
wants to get a permit to move a house. "
Chicago Tribune.
Unprofessional.
"But you've got to take into consid
eration," urged the officer in citizen's
clothes, "the fact that 20 men of good
repute are prepared to swear the prisoner
was not within 50 miles of the scene of
the crime when it was commit teiL "
"I don't have to take it into consid
eration at all," replied the great detect
ive. "It doesn't fit my theory of the
case." Exchange.
A Distinction.
"In all my career," said the eminent
statesman, "I can say that I have never
done anything to be ashamed of. "
"Yon mean, "sneered the cynic, "that
you have never done anything you were
ashamed of. " Indianapolis Journal.
A Hopeful Outlook.
"Well, my dear madam, and how
are you today?"
"Oh, doctor, I have terrible pains all
over my whole body, and it seems im
possible to breathe. Of course I can't
sleep at all, and I haven't a particle of
appetite."
"But otherwise yon feel all right,
don't yon?" Texas Sif tings.
1c 95.
Growing Onions. j
The bo called new method with j
onions is little more than extension of
their growing season by starting the j
plants early in the teason uuder glass, j
writes W. E. Fanner, in the American
Cultivator. But this innovation is
sufficient to btainp the work as new,
and really worth all the talk aboufit.
By adopting this method we are pretty
sure to make the crop a .uccess. Bad
season, late season, and other unfavor
able conditions cannot do much harm
to the crop, or at lenst the injury from
these causes is reduced to a minimum.
Where the soil is suitable, the large
white onions are the n;ot profitable,
for the demand for them is always in
excess of red and yello.v, and the
prices paid are sometimes nearly
double. In the Eastern States the
white onions r::c!i their ierfection,
and they sell from $1 to $2 per barrel
more than the red aud yellow ones do
from other sections. This is due to the
peculiarity of the soil and coast -cli-mate,
and farmers have developed the
industry in that section by persistent
study of the needs of onions. But the
red and yellow onions prove profitable
enough in "any section where the land
is suitable for tli"ir culture, and far
more so if the so called new method is
adopted. The seed should be sown in
the hot-beds six or eight weeks before
ordinary planting in the fields, and by
the best conditions possible can gene
rally be given a fine start in life. They
should not only be started early, but
they should be kept in constant
growth until ready for transplanting.
If the season is late they should be
kept in the hot beds until it has grown
warmer and dry. There is no particu
lar need of hastening the time, and
nothing is thus lost. The field should
be well prepared for the onions. They
need a soft, well -drained, -sandy loam
soil, being the best for the work; es
pecially if it is full of decaying vege
table matter. Fertilize and pulverize
thoroughly. Stony ground is not so
good for onions. They need a soft,
pulverized .mellow soil, so that the dirt
and fertilizers can surround the bulbs
and give them nourishment. The
onions should be transplanted into
rows one foot apart: and three inches
in the rows. Set the plants firmly in
the soil ami exterminate all weeds that
have attempted to start and there will
be labor saved. Careless transplant
ing generally has to be gone over again
several times making the work more
then double.
T
Secret of Beauty
is health. The secret of health is
the power to digest and assim
ilate a proper quanity ef food.
This can never be done when
the liver does not act it's part.
Doyou know this ?
Tuts Liver Pills are an abso
lute cure for sick headache, dys
pepsia, sour stomach, malaria,
constipation, torpid liver, piles,
jaundice, bilious fever, bilious
ness and kindred diseases.
Tutt's Liver Pills
CAIN HOUSE FULLY INSJREU.
The Total Loss Estimated to be About
4
"$9,ooo.
The Cain house which was burned at
Morristown Wednesday morning, 8th
inst., removes one of the old landmarks
of that place as well as East Tennessee.
The house was erected in lSGOand was
for years the only hotel in the town.
It was perhaps known better than any
otherhouse along the entire road Only
a small portion of the furniture in the
house was saved and the fire burned on
till everything in its reached had been
consumed. The loss is about $9,000 or
perhaps not so lurch, being covered by
an insurance policy much larger,said
to be, $12, (KM).
MOTHERS'
FRIEND"
-
u
r.
fi
o
c
To Younp;
42. . .tt t.K 4.
Mothers
tl
o
c
r
t
o
r -
o
-f
m
o
-.
o
a
O
H Mcs Child Dirfh Easws
ouurrens JuaDor,
Lessens Pain,
Endorsed by the Leading Physiciam.
Hoofc to "Mothers' mailed TREE
ORADFIELD REGULATOR CO
ATLANTA. GJL
The remarkable ?telli.'Hnf.eilrp
Iishmen conceri.il.. li ih-n jvrJ
ing toAiii-nVaiis. often iKuM
in the cfiit:iieiit- ( Kiizli'i .
- , , , , ,,"-
extract from the Herald or yif
ster, in reference to l.NiK.uv,,.
recent trouble with soua New
v. ...... .
Kansas who if will lie return i.!
mil against Mr.l'.Jaioe for irii,ttt
18S4 and derisively lestowI ut
him the title of PIui:ietl Knight,"
recently been exiHrieneiiig r,.al
culty in delivering his left tire on t
13ible. Sir. Ingatls is known a Vj
authority on thcolgical "matters, fct
owing 'to that bo would take
part in the "World's Fair fentivitir
at. Chicago, upon the ground that fi
entire affair had im :.:i40.a! tendency
the American people haw turttei
against him, and now no opportunitv
to ferjecute him is neglected."
IT'S A KELLSTOHeT
About a vocfir
man's neck to b
sufferer from n.
vous exhaustion, ttx
vou3 dcbffcty, iairir-
A 1 n n m - r . 1 .
rVSw J sPints' irritable te-
per, mid the thousand
ana one acranrementj
of mind ana body
that result from,
unnatural, perniciocs
habits, contract!
through ignorant
Such habits result a
loss of manlv twer
wreck tho constitution and sometimes pro
duce softening of the brain, epilepsj, j.
ralysis, and even dread insanity.
To reach, re-claim and restore such ta
fortunates to health and happiness, is th
aim of the publishers of & book written ia
plain but chaste language, on the nature,
symptoms and curability, by home treat
ment, of such diseases. This book will be
sent scaled, in plain envelope, on receipt of
ton cents in stamps, for postage. Addrea,
World's Dispensary Medical Associatioa,
063 Main St , Buffalo, K. Y.
NO MORE EYE-GLASSES
We: ;
Ejer:
MITCHEI.I.'S
EYE-SALVI
A Certain Safe and Effective Remedy for
SORE, WEAK and INFLAMED EYES.
rolutnj iAtng-SiaMettnesn, and
Jlestoriiiff the Sight of the old.
Cures Tear Drops, Granulation, She
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AND PRODUCING QUICK RELIEF
AND PERMANENT CURE.
Also, cqnally efficnrlons when ned ia
other maladies, Hiich an Ulcers, Fevrr
Noros, Tumors, halt Ilheam, Bnniv
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MITt IIKI.1AS SALVE may be mm4 1
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SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS AT 15 CEKTS.
W. L. Douglas
S3 SME FIT FOB A KINS,
. cordovan;
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Orer One Million People wear the
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AW our shoes are equally satisfactory
They prlvc the best value for the monrj.
They equal custom Shoes in style rnd tit
Thrii wearing: qualities are unjarpessw
The Drices are uniiorm. tmtxd on
From $i to $3 saved over other rnkt.
If your dealer cannct supply you we cz- '
Shuford, Setzer & Coc
Hickory,
tHoore & Hoke,
Granite Fall.". u
The Southern Miigazict
WITH TH K
PRESS AND
GAtlOLI.M: J
Both for $2.00 Cah in
one year.
J ATLANTA L ATLANTA!
THE
... EXPOSITION CITY
f !
OF 1895.
U NEED THE NEWSf
States and International .Vg-e
r. You are com in z to vist t
t Ufnrin.lmil f th tCt:-!"- " ' . J J
I secure the aivanUjeoa nve. h,s?W
money or to accept some rr--, 43 i '
, ment in the South. Youwu! .
tar in
Tfas Atlanta WttH; Coasjii j
A.
for cataiorue an4 for saa!p!e
the names of six of your n'c
trt
out your community.
the cosr;;fc6
OS.
mm