6
Thursday, July 27,1995
Parenting
Troubles
For Hugh
During a near perfect five-year relation
ship, thriving careers, numerous nights of
intense passion and the freedom to take
weekends off at the whim, Samuel (Hugh
Grant) and Rebecca (Julianne Moore) have
had it all.
Then a little surprise is delivered, one
which will turn Samuel’s life into a whirl
wind of utter chaos. Rebecca is pregnant
and Samuel is scared out of his wits. Does
he want the
baby or does he
not? Through
out much of the
film he does not
know —and
DEAN HAIR
Movie Review
"Nine Months'
B-
well, that is basically the plot. This film has
a very “Mrs. Doubtfire” kind of feel to it,
probably since both films were directed by
Chris Columbus, with numerous little
weird incidences occurring which seem to
carry the film.
Grant’s last film, “The Englishman Who
Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Moun
tain” suffered at the box office though it
had fairly decent reviews. However “Nine
Months” opened with nearly S2O million,
probably due to the great amount of pro
motion and Grant’s recent ‘lewd conduct’
with a Hollywood tart.
Maybe I am being overly critical, but it
seems Grant has not had anew facial
expression in the past five years. His per
formance is very predictable, though ador-
MUSMIEFS
Bodeco, Callin'All Dogs (Safe House) B
Bodeco’s photo suggests a fashion sense
drifting somewhere between Alabama and,
uh, Bon Jovi, but their music is a totally
different story.
Ifit’s retro and it reeks of a) testosterone
orb) gasoline, then Bodeco are practioners
thereof. Sort of an indie George
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Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore star in Chris Columbus' latest comedy, 'Nine Months' as a couple of the nineties,
who face the triumphs and tribulations of becoming parents.
able, and borderlines annoying.
Julianne Moore is pleasant and natu
rally beautiful as Grant’s wife and she has
the cutest smile in the entire film. This may
sound odd but when Moore turns into a
preying mantis and nearly eats Grant, it is
one of the funniest scenes in the film.
Rounding out the cast as the annoying
best friends are Tom Arnold (Marty) and
Joan Cusack (Gail) who have all the best
intentions in the world but come across as
horrifyingly irksome. Arnold, whose ca
reer seemed over after two unsuccessful
television shows and his recent divorce,
delivers another buddy performance not
Yes, in the duration of Callin’All Dogs,
Bodeco manages to rip off the typical drag
strip movie soundtrack gamut as well as
the entire Estrus Records catalog (for those
of you lacking the music-dork gene, Estrus
is a label out of Washington state which
releases album after album of nitro-fueled
surf/garage/trash music, including the
tuneage of Chapel Hill’s own Southern
Culture on the Skids).
Not that this is a bad thing of course, just
a little unoriginal, that’s all. But no matter
how rehashed, Bodeco make a pleasant
platter out of it.
After just a whiff of the first few songs,
you can sense the presence of Bo Diddley,
the Rolling Stones (the ninth song is a dead
ringer for “Honky Tonk Woman”; upon
closer inspection, a good many ofthe songs
sound like the Stones themselves, vocals
unlike his role opposite Arnold
Schwarzenegger in “True Lies.” Cusack is
an over-bearing mother of three girls who
seem to be mentally disturbed.
Jeff Goldblum is Samuel’s best friend
Sean who is a yuppy child and commit
ment-fearing individual who helps and
hurts Samuel’s decision about having the
child.
However, what makes the film so hilari
ous and a perfect date flick is Robin Will
iams as the Russian obstetrician, Dr.
Kosevich, whose only previous obstetrical
experience has been with four-legged crea
tures. Williams only appears in two scenes
included a couple of times), and any num
ber of early rockabilly outfits.
In fact, most of the songs fall under one
of the above categories, or some combina
tion of the three.
There is one spooky Angelo
Badala...whatever that guy who does the
music for all the David Lynch movies’s
name is-sounding piece, a dark kind of
surreal beat-jazz, and that’s pulled off
nicely, I suppose. But that’s the only real
piece that deviates from the above for
mula.
This really isn’t as blatantly a homage to
the dead muscle car-culture as most of the
Estrus bands perform. Stripped down, it’s
some guys getting together to play old
standards and have a good time with it.
Not bad, not dangerous.
Barry Summerlin
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V | | ri -
Diliaras -
ARTS
in the film but those scenes are the most
memorable. Having trouble with his En
glish, he utters, “I need anew clitoris,”
when he means thesaurus.
The best scene of the film is in a toy store
where Samuel and Marty encounter ‘ Amie ’
a big costumed dinosaur resembling
‘Barney’ and proceed to do what every
parent has desired, to beat him up.
Columbus has presented another fam
ily-oriented date film which will be very
successful and appealing for weeks, but
how many more films can we watch that
are nothing more than mere variations of
“Mrs. Doubtfire."
Tank Girl soundtrack (Elektra) C-
Courtney Love- Cobain must like see
ing her name in print. She’s listed as the
“executive music coordinator” for “Tank
Girl,” as though she’s trying to prove she
can do it all. The only problem is she’s not
doing it particularly well.
Everything starts out well. Bjork’s
“Army of Me” is engaging enough. And
hearing Devo’s “Girl U Want” again was
a delight. But it’s downhill from there.
The Magnificent Bastards were kind
enough to grace us with “Mockingbird
Girl,” which made me hope Weiland does
some serious time for his recent cocaine
bust. The song one-ups the Stone Temple
Pilots by ripping them off, which is testi
mony either to Weiland’s ironic wit or
incredible lack of originality.
L 7, Hole, Verruca Salt, and Bush all
Seagal Lumbers His Way
Through ‘Under Siege 2’
There are certain things in life which
you can come to count on: the sun will rise
in the morning, old men will wear ugly
plaid pants, Jerry Stackhouse will make
enough money to purchase his own coun
try and a Steven Seagal movie will fail to
challenge the brain.
Therefore it is not shocking that Mr.
Seagal’s latest endeavor, “Under Siege 2:
Dark Territory,” a follow-up to the 1992
action thriller,
doesn’t rival
the best ofMar
tin Scorcese.
Still, there is
usually a skill-
ful enough blend of the absurd and exciting
to distract one’s cranium for a long enough
time to sit back and enjoy the cheap thrills
that Seagal has to offer.
This sequel, however, does not im
prove on the original in almost every imag
inable way, creating a poor follow-up that
is drab, laughable and shockingly unap
pealing.
The actual story matters very little, but
it is worth noting that there is at least the
semblance of one. Seagal stars as ex-Navy
SEAL turned cook Casey Ryback, which
seems better suited to high-concept com
edy than straight-faced action.
After saving the free world from nuclear
disaster in the first “Under Siege, ” Ryback
is traveling by train through the Rockies
with his niece (Katherine Heigl) to visit the
grave ofhis recently deceased brother. And
yes, that would be the brother he hasn’t
spoken to for years before his death.
Next, so as to leave no cliche unused,
enterahighly-trained team of international
contribute stunningly average songs, none
of which bother to live up to the quality of
their albums.
The soundtrack does have some high
notes. Belly’s “Thief’ proves that Gail
Greenwood is the perfect backup vocalist
for Tanya Donnelly.
Portishead’s “Roads” is perhaps the best
tune on the album, combining heavy re
verb and a keen hip-hop drum beat with
ethereal vocals to create something just
short of symphonic.
It seemed a shame not to end on that
note, but the soundtrack wraps up with Ice-
TANARUS, who is just a cartoon parody of his
former self. But maybe Love-Cobain rec
ognized that, because it seems appropriate
for a movie based on a comic book charac
ter.
Ross White
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techno-terrorists. They decide to hijack the
very train that Chef Death happens to be
vacationing on, all in an attempt to set up
their new satellite weapon command cen
ter. A slight mistake, no?
In the performance department, Eric
Bogosian(“Talkßadio”)shines, rising like
a phoenix from the ashes of a horrible
script.
He stars as the villainous Travis Dane,
a wacky, egomaniacal computer program
mer and the mastermind behind the entire
soon-to-be-spoiled hijack.
Bogosian seems to revel in the pure
wickedness ofhis role, to the point that he
should take his performance on the road to
comedy clubs. He’s doing some heavy
duty scenery-chewing.
His partner in lunacy is Everett McGill,
who plays Perm, the requisite short-haired
foreign weapons specialist.
McGill joins Bogosian in displaying just
the right blend of bad-guy anal-retentive
ness and goofy, over-the-top flair. They
know where they’re stuck, but they make
the best of it.
Still, “Under Siege 2" is not so much a
case of of the villains stealing the show as
it is the villains simply being able to act
Alongside Seagal, who exudes all the charm
and charisma of an inflatable monkey,
Bogosian and McGill have no choice but
to look good.
Say what you will about Jean-Oaude
Van Damme; he at least brings a distinct
and likable character to every film he’s in.
Seagal lumbers like an ox through any
scene that doesn’t require him to severely
beat someone.
Furthermore, there is no real tension
because there are no complexities in any of
the characters. They are neither believable
noracceptableasmerepawns in the greater
schemeofthe story. The script is weak and
full of stupid and pretentious dialogue - in
other words, just as you’d expect.
Seagal manages to keep his oil-slicked
hair perfectly in place as he breaks more
bones than any hero in cinematic history.
The action sequences, while decent, are
hardly enough to salvage the entire pic
ture.
Whereas the first “Under Siege" had
great action and a real and definite sense of
danger (not to mention Oscar-winner
Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey), the
sequel offers little worthwhile except for a
fantastic, head-on double train wreck fi
nale. After watching “Under Siege 2,” one
can only hope that the writers were on
board.
BRENT SIMON
Movie Review
‘Under Siege 2"
D+
Saily ®ar fieri