ffljf Batly (Tar Sfri
Expectations not met in remake of book
The newest strategy of film makers is
to take a timeless story, switch every
thing around and put an MTV-esque
feel to it so that teens will think it’s rad.
Amy Heckerling changed Jane Austen’s
“Emma" into “Clueless,” and Baz
Luhrman did
it last year
with
“William
Shakespeare’s
Romeo and
Juliet.”
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‘Great Expectations'
ft
Alfonso Cuaron’s “Great
Expectations” is no different. Like the
others, he pairs really pretty people
this time Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth
Paltrow in a tumultuous tale of lovers
spun around worse than a dreidle during
Shameful measures kill film’s quality
I’m Batman. At least that’s what
Michael Keaton is probably wishing
after making this supposed thriller. I was
on the edge of my seat all right. Except
this wasn’t a fear thing; it was more of a
headache —a “where’s the nearest
Excedrin dispenser moment.”
It all begins with San Francisco police
SCOTT RUDICIL
officer Frank
Connor
(Andy
Garcia)
sneaking into
a computer
lab. This was
Movie Rwiew
'Desperate
Measures'
motet*
the best scene because of the way the
opening credits were presented. Wow...
that was the best thing about this film
Turns out that Garcia’s kid, Matt
(Joseph Cross), has cancer and needs a
bone marrow transplant. The policeman
Thriller buried deep under plot problems
“Deep Rising" attempts to be an
edge-of-your-seat thriller, but it fails to
grab the audience with a plot because
there simply isn’t one.
Treat Williams stars as a boat skip
per, Fennigan, who is hired unknowing
ly by conspirators to take a small boat
out to a cruise ship where all the action
takes place. He accepts an offer to take
CHRIS ANDREW!
them out in
his boat with
out asking
what they
will be doing
or where they
will be going.
■—r—
wiwwiv neviwii
‘Deep RiSffvg'
f
First mate Joey, played by Kevin J.
O’Connor, becomes curious about these
guys and begins snooping around.
When they arrive at the ship, 99 per-
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A spectacle for the eyes to behold cin
ematically, the story leaves something to
be desired.
But even director of photography
Emmanuel Lubeski has his faults. The
camera goes all over the place, with
Lubeski switching from steadicam to
hand-held to even a superfluous techno
crane shot.
Editor Steven Weisberg can’t decide
whether to use fades, dissolves or
straight cuts. By the film’s last frame,
both have exhausted all their options,
leaving the eyes sore from running all
over the screen.
If these technical elements are so
strikingly weird, why not focus on the
story? Well, it’d be easy if anything
exhausted all the normal donor chan
nels, and this computer tells him any
criminal matches for his son. Bingo! Got
one. Uh oh! It’s Peter McCabe (Keaton),
a convicted sociopath/psychotic killer
with an IQ of 150.
Five minutes into the movie, we meet
our psycho killer as Connor goes to see
if he will agree to the transplant. But
McCabe turns questioning from the
father around and starts asking the cop
questions about his past. He intuitively
knows how to upset Garcia’s character.
This was an excellent scene when
it was done the first time around in “The
Silence of the Lambs.” Keaton has none
of the eerie flair of Anthony Hopkins,
and Garcia could use a little make-up if
he’s going for the Jodie Foster look.
Eventually, the laughable Keaton
agrees to the transplant, but only if he
cent of the passengers and crew mem
bers have been eaten up by an octopus
like creature. The ship has the creature
inside it and the remains of hundreds of
bodies strewn throughout.
The question I have is why hasn’t the
ship sunk? You would think with a huge
animal sticking its tentacles into the ship
from all directions, it would sink. But
no. One woman is sucked through the
toilet. I wonder how a sea creature could
get into the pipes. The special effects did
create a scary sea monster.
The remainder of the film is spent
killing the monster’s tentacles with big
guns The only scary scene was when
they shot a tentacle and a half-eaten
man pops out amazingly he is alive.
The script was horrible, and if it was
not for O’Connor’s comical remarks, the
DIVERSIONS Movies
remained true to Dickens’ novel.
Paltrow is just nasty. Her character is
so undesirable, we end up not wanting
to see her on screen even when she’s
exposing her nipples. Her every action is
cold and calculated.
Ethan does his best “my heart is on
the floor, I’m on bended knee and I am
a starving artist,” but he does this in all
of his movies. These two are thrown
together in an artsy world with no chem
istry whatsoever beyond Hawke’s raging
hormones and Paltrow’s conniving
schemes.
Anne Bancroft is intriguing as the
spinster wealthy woman that guides the
two youths together —but this is the
‘Bos, would a woman really be living this
eccentric lifestyle? As entertaining and
gets certain privileges that have been
taken away cause he’s been such a bad
boy. With these privileges, he is able to
access the hospital’s construction plans.
McCabe escapes with some uncre
ative methods. The trick is that Garcia
cannot let anyone kill Keaton because
he’s the only one who can save his son.
Garcia goes to desperate measures to
save his son; I went to desperate mea
sures to close my eyes and think of a
place, far, far away from this movie.
Keaton turns in his worst perfor
mance ever, and Garcia is only margin
ally less boring. Director Barbet
Schroeder and writer David Klass need
to find a day job, and musical compos
er Trevor Jones’ score would be better
used in a pom film.
If I was Batman, I’d kick Michael
Keaton’s butt for making this.
film would be one of theworst movies
ever. The movie ended with a love story
and a cliflhanger opening up the possi
bility for a sequel, but there was nothing
original or believable about the acting or
the storyline to even wail for a sequel.
http://www.movieminder.com
movtemOmflir.cQni
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as strong as her performance is, Bancroft
comes off looking like a tired drag queen
who’s used entirely too much wrinkle
enhancement cream.
Deniro sleepwalks through yet anoth
er criminal performance ironically,
it’s criminal to have him in these roles
that don't amount to celluloid. The story
abruptly stops for his two entrances and
starts again with a slow lull after his
presence leaves.
Cuaron has taken a sure-hit and
stripped it down into a lackluster art
house flick. Without engaging charac
ters, the most promising elements are
left to the schizophrenic cinematogra
pher and a great soundtrack. It’s a pic
ture only video director Michael
Romanek and MTV could be proud of.
ICL
EP
VIDEOBRIEFS
New on Video: Eight Heads in a
Duffel Bag
The title of this movie held the most
promise of any movie last year. How
could you go wrong with a story about
luggage filled with severed heads? But,
the film didn’t live up to its delightful
ly absurd premise, although a few inven
tive ideas and David Spade made it
watchable.
The story
revolves
around mob
hitman Joe
Pesci, who
transports a
bag of heads
to his boss as
a trophy. He
loses his bag
at the airport,
MATT MILLER
Video Reviews
‘Eight Heads in a
Duffel Bag'
ft
'Blue Velvet'
ffff
accidentally picking up college student
Charlie’s (Andy Comeau) bag instead.
Pesci, trying to recover the heads
before he loses his, takes Charlie’s
roommates (David Spade and Todd
Louiso) hostage. Eventually everyone
ends up in Mexico, where Charlie is
ir~ _ m r w
ini
> ft ' ' -"' A
Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke dance through the mess that is ‘Great
Expectations.' Nothing like the book, the film leaves something to be desired.
vacationing with his girlfriend’s family.
This movie is reminiscent of a mid
’Bos comedy like “Million Dollar
Mystery.” Everyone is chasing everyone
and slapstick ensues. Luckily, Spade
keeps his scenes afloat with some of the
best smartass dialogue he’s ever had.
Despite a few good scenes, the film
fails to capitalize on the potential com
edy of eight severed heads. Too bad.
Pick of the Week: Blue Velvet
Arguable one of the greatest movies
of the eighties, David Lynch’s night
mare vision of suburban America is not
for all tastes. The combination of dark
humor, mystery, and sadomasochism
repulses some, but if you watch “Blue
Velvet,” you won’t be disappointed.
Kyle MacLachlan plays Jeffrey, a col
lege student who discovers a severed ear
in an abandoned lot. Drawn in by a love
of mystery, Jeffrey becomes entangled
with a lounge singer (Isabella Rossellini)
who is dominated by a sadistic mob
boss (Dennis Hopper).
c/motiN/j
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One of the best films of the year!
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The film is almost an homage to
Alfred Hitchcock, using the theme of an
innocent man drawn into intrigue.
Lynch adds his own touch, though, and
tells of Jeffrey’s loss of innocence.
The acting is marvelous, with Dennis
Hopper in the performance of his career
as Frank Booth. This film propelled
Hopper beyond his stereotype as the
poor man’s Nicholson, and he makes
the most of it. Frank Booth is the most
evil screen villain since Darth Vader.
Lynch’s visuals and absurd humor
draw one into unlikely situations, leav
ing one feeling drained yet fascinated.
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