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Is Branson, Mo., Ready for Miss U.S.A.? We’ll See ...
“Branson, Missouri. My dad says it’s like Vegas
if it were run by Ned Flanders. Bart Simpson
This week, 51 young women, along with
thousands of people will flock to the cul
tural oasis of the Midwest, the self-anoint
ed “Live Music Capital of the World,” Branson,
Mo.
Friday, Branson will host the 49th Annual
Miss U.S.A. pageant. My column Friday will
focus on the event itself, but today let’s examine
what the girls, their friends and families and
pageantry fans can experience in the city that
never sleeps past noon.
Situated in the armpit of the nation (south
west Missouri/northwest Arkansas), Branson
has at least 3,706 residents, not including the
thousands who reside in RVs and mobile
homes on the edge of town.
Branson and the surrounding Ozark
Mountains country was settled by farmers cen
turies ago. It then became a lawless party dur
ing the Civil War. The population didn’t
explode, however, until the cast and fans of
“Hee Haw” moved down from Nashville fol
lowing the show’s cancellation in 1992.
Failing to Vote Means You Don’t Count
Well, it’s that time of year again. Snow
is falling faster than Shane Battier on
a basketball court, and elections for
student body president are rapidly approach
ing. In just a few weeks, many of us will cast
our votes and select the person we want to lead
us into the first full school year of the new mil
lennium. In this column, I will first try to con
vince you students why you should vote.
Secondly, I will attempt to make your voting
decision easier by suggesting some important
qualities a student body president should have.
To start off, let’s discuss the importance of vot
ing, even at the level of student body president.
Usually, only a handful of students bother to
vote during the elections for student govern
ment. As for everyone else, most of them just
don't care. Nonvoters choose not to vote because
they don’t think the elections matter.
“After all,” they say, “the decisions made by
people like the student body president don’t
have any impact on the rest of us.”
I’m here to argue otherwise.
Student elections should matter to all of us.
Seniors and final-year graduate students should
get out and vote in order to help preserve their
legacy at UNC. Current and potential graduate
students should go vote to help ensure that
their future years here will continue to be mem
orable and productive. In addition, the juniors,
sophomores and fresh-people at the University
should also be sure to vote. Those of us who
will be spending at least one more year at UNC
need to vote for someone who is on oar side,
someone who can help make the rest of our
college experience as rewarding as possible.
Along these same lines, in selecting the next
Readers' Forum
Students Call on UNC
To Open Up Courtside
Seats to True Fans
TO THE EDITOR:
This is in regards to what happened
in the Dean Dome on Thursday.
UNC students proved once and for
all why they should have the majority of
the lower-level tickets -as well as be
spread all around the lower level (as
opposed to being relegated to one little
corner).
The crowd was loud and intimidat
ing and the team fed off that. Thursday,
we had six men on the court. The stu
dents have heart -and they should be
rewarded for it.
Money must be made and I realize
this.
However, I pose one question - how
much money does a losing team that
doesn’t even make the NCAA
Tournament generate?
In case you’ve forgotten,
“Hee Haw” (which was on
for a surprising 23 years) was
set entirely around the crack
er barrel or in a com field. It
was hosted by Buck Owens,
who sacrificed being remem
bered as a legendary country
music star and will now be
remembered as the legendary
country' music star who hosted
“Hee Haw.”
Roy Clark, who co-hosted
the show with Owens, led the Haw clan down
to Branson, where it is still cool to be a redneck.
Clark used to play at the Roy Clark Celebrity
Theatre, which for reasons unknown is now
known simply as the Celebrity Theatre.
In a strange twist of fate, the Celebrity
Theatre has welcomed Motown’s Platters as its
main talent, and Branson has welcomed the
Platters as its first black residents.
Now that Donny and Marie are back on tele
vision you might be wondering what happened
to the Osmond Brothers. Look no further than
the Osmond Family Theater in Branson. There
■
JIM WILLIAMS
CARTOONIST
student body president, we need to consider
how such a decision will affect our friends and
brothers and sisters who might be coming to
UNC in years to come.
To illustrate the importance of voting, let us
examine one issue that UNC will be facing
over the next few years: the dreaded tuition
increases. A tuition increase at UNC (and other
public universities in North Carolina) is certain
ly relevant to all of us here.
It is not likely that this problem will sudden
ly disappear. In the last several months, hurri
canes and snowstorms have decimated much of
North Carolina. Millions of state dollars will be
needed to repair the extensive damage.
In light of this recent destmction, higher pro
fessor pay is probably not at the very top of the
state legislature’s list of problems to address.
Therefore, they are going to expect someone
else (students and their parents) to pay for the
needs of our University.
We need to elect a student body president
who will be able to effectively fight for our right
to an affordable education at this school.
Now, please allow me to change gears. Let
me discuss the four most important characteris
tics to look for in a potential student body presi
dent. First, you must consider the sincerity and
intentions of the candidates running for the
office. Be wary of individuals who seem like
“career politicians.” Even at the college level,
there are people who have shaped their lives
Give the students what they deserve.
Change the ticket policy. Go Heels!
Jaime Argila
Junior
Biology
TO THE EDITOR:
Any student who did not go to
Thursday night’s men’s basketball game
against Maryland missed one of the
most exciting games since the team
moved into the Dean Dome in the mid
1980s.
Was the game so exciting due to a
last-second shot in overtime? A spec
tacular comeback? No. Other than the
fact that we actually won, the game was
nothing out of the ordinary.
However, the Dean Dome shook
with more enthusiasm than I have ever
seen.
The reason? Simple. The Carolina
Athletic Association allowed students to
attend the game even if they did not
Viewpoints
JL
■
BRIAN FREDERICK
ON TAP
river ... You got your whole fist up there,
doc?”)
If the delegates and their posses are looking
for thrills, Branson is also home to the theme
park Silver Dollar City. Featuring such rides as
“Fire in the Hole,” “Shoot-Out,” and “Buzz Saw
Falls,” (America’s first liquid coaster!), Silver
Dollar City is the kind of theme park your
cousins always envisioned when they were
playing Slip ’n’ Slide in their backyard.
Also included in the pre-pageant festivities is
a cruise. Miss U.S.A. delegates will board the
Showboat Branson Belle for a night of elegance.
around “climbing the ladder” to political suc
cess and personal gain. In voting, you should set
aside ideas of “liberal” and “conservative” and
focus on whether or not a candidate would
honestly work to better the lives of the students.
Next, I would suggest that you vote for
someone whose plans for UNC are practical
Vote for a person who wants to make changes
and improvements that are feasible and useful.
Empty promises will not uphold the prestige of
our school.
I would also seriously consider a candidate’s
ability to handle the responsibilities of his or
her office. Vote for an individual who is willing
and able to work hard to get things done.
The student body president needs to be some
one who can elevate himself or herself above
party politics. This person needs to be able to
look at things on a broad scale and in the long
term. We have no time for petty politicking.
Finally, a potential student body president
should be a good representative of our
University and all its students. He or she needs
to be dignified and disciplined. This individual
should carry out his or her presidential duties
with a great deal of honor, integrity and
respect. The student body president represents
all of us, as well as our school’s history and tra
ditions. Choose someone you can be proud of.
We don’t get much of a say in making deci
sions at UNC. So, let us choose our words care
fully and find someone who speaks loud
enough for all to hear.
Jim Williams is a junior communications and
political science major from High Point. Reach
him at jgwiv@email.unc.edu.
have tickets.
Therefore, hordes of students who
were not fortunate enough to receive
tickets by the bracelet system found
themselves occupying the seats of alum
ni who did not attend the game on
account of ice.
The result was electrifying. The Dean
Dome was noisy, as opposed to the
usual “you can hear a pin drop” atmos
phere. The students proved that all
Carolina fans do not belong to the
“wine-and-cheese crowd” that we are so
often accused of having.
I heard many students tell me that
some of the alumni were upset due to
the fact that they had to stand up to see
the game. If they aren’t willing to stand,
then they should stay home and watch
the game on television.
Last year, I heard some N.C. State
University fans say that the Dean Dome
was dead. Thursday night, the Dean
Dome was alive and rockin’.
I think the CAA made a wise deci
As the Branson Belle traverses majestic Table
Rock Lake, everyone can relax and be waited
on as the boat promises “No buffet lines or
serve-yourself-dining!” Delegates and guests
will dine on prime rib and baked Alaska while
enjoying the comedy of ventriloquist Todd
Oliver with his amazing talking dog Irving.
And if that weren’t enough, Capt. Fittipaldi
of the Showboat Branson Belle will award each
delegate the distinction of honorary captain. I
wonder if they will receive paddles to pin on
their lapels.
Is Branson ready for Miss U.S.A.? This is the
second year in a row for Branson. And last
year’s pageant raised a ruckus.
In November, resident Ben Kinel circulated
a petition asking organizer Donald Trump to
clean up this pageant. Kinel and others were
upset about the sexual overtones in the 1999
pageant. The song “What’s New Pussycat?”
played while the delegates strutted around the
stage in their swimsuits. (Eazy-E’s “Gimme
That Nutt” and Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “I Like Big
Butts” were also considered.)
“We just think that the show went a little out
of bounds over what we consider a good
you can see the Osmond’s
award-winning “Variety
Show on Ice.” It was allur
ing enough to entice Tony
Orlando, who fled Vegas
and is now performing at
the Osmond theater.
And in the ultimate
self-fulfilling prophecy,
Andy Williams, best
known for “Moon River,”
performs at his Moon
River Theatre. (“Mooooon
Web Caving to Wusses
Afraid to Print ‘F-Word’
Don’t write unless
you can use the
word ‘fuck.’
“Unless you get paid.”
That’s advice from Mike
Jasper, one of my favorite
columnists. He gets paid to
write. And he can use pro
fanity.
But not at the same time.
Because all the publishers
with money are pansies.
So all ofjasper’s funny
writing is on the Internet, which turns everyone
into a potential publisher, and he must pay for
the privilege of posting a weekly column under
his own domain name. At the same time, his
less-edgy, appropriate-for-the-masses writing for
The Austin Chronicle is what gets him a pay
check.
Even Playboy is too pussy (pun most defi
nitely intended) to include four-letter words in
its publication. A magazine intended for adult
males who knowingly want to look at pictures
of naked women is too scared of the bottom
line to print some expletives? I don’t think
they’re exactly dealing with a bunch of prudes.
It looks like the Internet’s the last frontier for
those of us who want to avail ourselves of every
last word in the English language. It’s so cut
ting-edge, so Generation-X, so so commercial.
That’s right - even the Internet, the best
place for pom this side of Times Square, is sell
ing out.
There is a growing online market for free
lance writers. That is, if you’re willing to write
about your kids’ crazy high jinks or thrill an
international audience with your adventures in
the local grocery store.
That is, as long as you avoid a certain seven
words.
Even Internet publications, at least the ones
that pay, are censoring their writers so they can
have mass appeal. This reeks of the same irony
as “alternative” rock being the most popular
type.
Oh, but those fearful of profanity will cry, we
must protect the children, whose parents think
it’s a good idea to give them unlimited Internet
access, from learning to cuss.
To them I say, name one naughty word most
kids on the playground couldn’t tell me.
And if they ieam a few “bad” words, who
cares? Let’s perform an experiment: Stand up
and yell the “f-word” as loudly as you can.
Come on, you know the one I’m talking
about. That’s it, right where you are.
If you did that in the middle of class, you
definitely deserve a cookie.
Did that physically hurt anyone? (Besides
yourself - if you were stupid enough to strain
your voice by taking the words “as loudly as
you can” literally, I have no sympathy.)
Maybe it hurt someone’s feelings or offend
ed someone, but the word “fat” probably has
more power to offend, and I can say that on
prime-time network television, print it in
sion by letting students into the game
without tickets. I think the same system
should be used at every home game.
Maybe if there was more enthusiasm in
the Dean Dome, the players would be
inspired to play harder and win more
games.
Dawne Howard
junior
Journalism and Mass Communication
and History
TO THE EDITOR:
Asa fervent UNC basketball fan, I
was shocked to see UNC ticket-holders
walking in as much as 45 minutes late to
the last men’s basketball game.
I propose that the ticket policy be
changed as follows: once a men’s bas
ketball game has been in progress for a
certain number of minutes (say five to
10), ticket-holders lose all rights to their
assigned seats.
At this point, UNC faithful (i.e., stu
£
■
ERIN MENDELL
EDITORIAL WRITER
dents and late-coming ticket-holders)
should be allowed in on a first come,
first serve basis to fill any open seats.
In my opinion, this would result in a
much more energetic crowd for UNC
home games. If you need proof, look at
the results for the UNC-Maryland
home game.
If ticket-holders don’t care enough
about UNC basketball to show up on
time, they deserve to lose their seats!
Jennifer Mosher
Graduate Student
Physics
TO THE EDITOR:
After UNC’s victory against
Maryland, it can no longer be denied:
The students carry the true Tar Heel
pride. When are we going to stop con
cerning ourselves with money and
return to what really matters?
In contrast to the usual games I
attend, surrounded by old men on their
Monday, January 31, 2000
Christian attitude in Branson,” Kinel said.
The real shocker here is the fact that a song
by Burt Bacharach ended up causing such con
troversy.
The petition was signed by one-third of the
population (the literate third) and sent off to Mr.
Trump in the big city. We’ll see Friday what
effect the petition will have.
Until Friday night, the delegates and others
will have to take in the sights and sounds of
Branson. And if there weren’t enough to do
already, perhaps the single greatest attraction in
Branson is enough to cause me to book a flight
right now. Branson is the home of one of the
true legends of comedy: Yakov Smirnoff.
And you thought the Russian comedian’s
career died with the fall of communism.
Apparendy, they’re just warming up to commu
nist humor in Branson.
Welcome to Branson, Miss U.S.A. delegates!
Brian Frederick is a graduate student in
journalism and mass communication from
Lawrence, Kan. His column did not appear
Friday because of the snow. Reach him at
brifred@yahoo.com.
Newsweek and plaster it all
over the Internet
There is nothing that
makes cuss words any more
harmful than any other
word. The fact that they’re
so taboo is completely arbi
trary. They’re just words.
OK, maybe it’s reason
able for writers to expect
the fluff to pay the rent and
save their more interesting
material for noncommercial
purposes.
I can argue all I want that censoring writers
promotes a publication’s mediocrity, but it’s
still the publisher’s right to decide what he is
willing to pay for.
However, it looks like censorship might be
beginning to seep into our own correspondence
as well. A UNC senior might face Honor Court
charges for using the word “cunt" on the senior
class listserv a few weeks ago.
The student’s use of the word was probably
inappropriate. It was probably rude. But she
shouldn’t be punished over it. ' •>-
First of all, it was a University-level senior
class listserv. I’m fairly certain that everyone
(with the exception, perhaps, of some foreign
exchange students) on that list had heard and
knew the definition of the offending term long
before it landed in his or her inbox.
Secondly, (and I’m only going to say this
once), IT’S A WORD. I promise it won’t make
anyone bleed. We have no business telling peo
ple what words they can and cannot use in their
personal speech or writing.
One could argue that because the University
provides students with an e-mail service, it can
therefore censor how students use that service.
Well, my phone company provides me with
a voice mail service. Does that mean it can tell
me what my message has to be?
Society can set standards for what kind of
language is appropriate when, but then let soci
ety take care of the violations of those stan
dards.
Don’t take someone to court over one very
short word.
I always thought writing was about pushing
the envelope and finding your voice. Silly me, I
didn’t know it was all about publishing some
thing that won’t offend anyone anywhere.
No wonder newspapers are too boring for
people to read anymore.
All I can do is hope that publishers realize
it’s OK to take risks, that in fact, that’s their job.
I like being edgy and getting people to think a
little bit differently.
And someday I’d like to get paid to do it
Erin Mendell, a sophomore journalism and
mass communication and French major from
Newtown Square. Pa., was wondering if The
Daily Tar Heel was edgy enough to print all
of her profanity. You can let her know at
mendell@email.unc.edu.
headsets with their wives discussing
social issues, the win against Maryland
can be attributed as much to the fans as
to the players.
Everyone was behind the team, on
their feet jumping, chanting and jeering.
The only other time you see this kind of
excitement is at the Duke-Carolina
game. So I ask, “Why can’t every game
be like the Duke-Carolina game?” The
reason is money. OK, I know we live in
a capitalist society, but does this have to
carry over to Tar Heel basketball? It
should not.
As much as we feed off the players’
energy, they feed off us. Let’s keep this
basketball dynasty alive; let’s let those
of us who have invested much time and
money to attend this University really
be a part of this University.
lentt Tomon
Freshman
Psychology and Elementary
Education
11