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10 Friday, February 25, 2000 Concerns or comments about our coverage? Contact the ombudsman at twdman@Unc.edu or call 605-2790. Scott Hicks EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR Katie Abel UNIVERSITY EDriOR Jacob McConnico CITY EDITOR Board Editorials Vital Information Sexual harassment has once again reared its ugly little head. This time it has caused a shortage in the ranks of a vital service in the community, the Orange County Emergency Medical Service. Some accounts have stated that as many as three-fourths of the personnel have left because of an alleged mishandling of a sex ual harassment claim made in February 1999. In light of the recent charges from for mer volunteers, the Orange County Rescue Squad should be taking steps to clarify the specifics of this situation. Litde is known about the facts of the case, except that claims were “resolved” when the Orange County and the South Orange County Rescue Squads merged. Members of the group that took care of these charges are quick to say that there is “not a suit pending.” That’s nice for the accused, but the resi dents of Orange County deserve more infor mation than that, especially considering the fact that the EMS shortages most closely affect them and their families. A shorthanded EMS means there is a pos sibility of longer waiting times in emergency situations. The group cannot provide ade quate service without an adequate number of volunteers. First and foremost, the policy that the Tough Questions After observing the success of ABC’s, “Who Wants to Bea Millionaire,” the edito rial board suggests that Student Television come up with new programming for the spring semester. Here are a few possibilities. Perhaps Regis Philbin will be gracious enough to host the show. Who Wants to Bea Chancellor Regis: Hello Bob. Let’s get right to it. Number one. How long will it take UNC’s Chancellor Search Committee to select the University’s next chancellor? Bob: Regis, the committee will set -and ignore - at least three more deadlines before it finally swindles someone into becoming chancellor. So, I’m going to go with 12 months, minimum. Regis: You’ve got it. A minimum of 12 months is correct. Who Wants to Bea Basketball Coach Regis: Explain the Tar Heels' recent slide. Bob: Well, that’s easy, Regis. Coach Guthridge is behind the fall from grace. He can’t motivate his troops, get them to play defense or keep them off Franklin Street the night before games. Regis: Is that your final answer? Bob: Perhaps I better call a friend, just to be sure. I’ll call Coach Smith. Regis: Dean? Hello Dean. This is Regis. Would you care to help out Bob? Coach Smith: Sure. It’s Guthridge. Get him out! Bring me back! Run Four Comers! Bob: I can’t question the Dean. I’m going with my original answer. Barometer Blonde Ambition Christina Aguilera must have rubbed somebody the right way, nabbing a Grammy on Wednesday ES for best new artist. The odds were stacked for Britney; the loss must have left her deflated. Outside Interest Student Congress passed a resolution supporting the NAACP boycott of South Carolina on Tuesday. Glad to see they're still busy tackling those local issues. Tar Heel Quotables “He already presents some big problems in there.” UNC Men's Basketball Coach Bill Guthridge Talking about Florida State's 385-pound freshman center Nigel Dixon. "Big" would be the operative word. “My guess it was probably a prank thing. It didn’t appear to be hazing.” Washington State University Fire Capt. David Grimes Commenting on his discovery of a student bound with duct tape in the burning Sigma Nu house. If it wasn't hazing, what the hell was it? Rob Nelson EDITOR Office Hours Friday 3 p.m. - 4 p.m. Matthew B. Dees STATE & NATIONAL EDITOR T. Nolan Hayes SPORTS EDITOR Leigh Davis FEATURES EDITOR Orange County EMS uses to handle sexual harassment claims should be made public, not just available to any and all interested parties. It seems as though the case was not han dled at all, but simply dismissed. Whatever the case, the fact remains that the public does not know. Details of how the case was han dled, what sources were used and the reason the board decided to dismiss the allegations should all be made public knowledge. If the claim was simply dropped due to the logistics of the two groups’ merger, board members should elaborate on why they saw fit to take such an action. Furthermore, in light of the fact that the squad now has a considerable number of positions to fill, it should be doing any and everything possible to preserve the institu tion’s reputation. Very few people are going to volunteer to work for a group that appears as though it has something to hide. Any and all sexual harassment charges should be handled by specific guidelines and taken very seriously. It seems these particu lar charges were simply allowed to fall through the administrative cracks. But without an explanation, no one knows for sure. Regis: Again, you’ve got it. Who Wants to Bea Housekeeper Regis: Name the group of University employees, most of whom work very hard all day long scrubbing students’ puke, picking their pubic hairs off toilet seats and taking the kitchen chair out of the shower for the mil lionth time while a few of their lazy co-work ers watch “General Hospital” in student lounges? Bob: Oh, Regis, don’t insult me. The housekeepers, of course. My shower gets cleaned once a month. I guess I got stuck with one of the slackers. Regis: Is that your final answer? Bob: As final as the mildew on my toilet seat. Regis: You, my friend, are on a roll. Who Wants to Mess Up Student Elections Regis: For the final question, and a million dollars, can you name the UNC committee that manages to screw up the unbelievably simple task of tallying up student election votes? Bob: The answer is the UNC Elections Board. They’re the ones who find anew way each year to botch the elementary task of running a small-scale student election. This isn’t the New Hampshire primary. Regis: My friend, you have correctly answered all four questions. What will you be doing with your $1 million? Bob: Well, after taxes and getting hosed by Student Stores for textbooks, I’ll probably have enough left for a Coke. Day of Rest? Goodbye weekend. Hello Sunday classes and resulting six-day week. Maybe those snow days weren't <<* such a great thing after all. SPFNC-17 Good thing the weather is sup posed to be warm today. Members of Students for Economic Justice w plan to bare all in protest of sweatshops today out side South Building. Don't forget the sunscreen! “Every student is affected by this election.” Student Body President-Elect Brad Matthews Keep telling yourself that, Brad. Most students probably didn't even know there was an election this week. “(A $6,600 tuition increase) would get us out of last place.” Medical School Dean Jeffrey Houpt Boys and girls, he's not talking about quality of care he's talking about the UNC School of Medicine's ranking as one of the most affordable places to get a medical education. Thankfully, Jeffrey pulled himself out of contention for UNC's next chancellor. Maybe he should work on the ER. Opinions ahr Dailif aar BM Established 1893 • 107 Years of Editorial Freedom www.unc.edu/dth Robin Clemow ARTS S ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Carolyn Haynes COPY DESK EDITOR Miller Pearsall PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Who Wants a Million-Dollar Debt “You sound like a mature, responsible person who wouldn’t want an unpaid credit card bill to spoil all his hopes and dreams for the future - dreams such as home ownership, boat ownership, and event attendance. ” -Credit card representative calling Bart Simpson for payment. I haven’t looked at the figures lately, but I’d say I’m about $98,453 in debt. So I’m going to get a paper route. Maybe take a baby-sitting job. Stop by Roberson Street this weekend and look for my lemonade stand. Fortunately, though, my debt is on credit cards. So I’m only paying about 63 percent daily interest. Do you know what America’s biggest industry is? It’s not technology or automo biles. It’s the credit industry. So that means I (along with some of you, I suspect) am partly responsible for the economic “boom” that we are supposedly experiencing. You’re welcome. Hope you're enjoying the prosperity. I wish I could blame my debt on a nasty drug, gambling or pornography habit, but I don’t waste my money on those vices. And I’m not a “shopaholic.” I can’t even remem ber the last time I purchased an item of cloth ing. I have worn the same pair of jeans for years. The back right pocket has become so worn from my fat wallet stuffed with credit cards that 1 have to use my back left pocket now'. Try it. It’s a feeling akin to masturbating with your “other” hand. So I’m not sure why my money disappears so fast. The usual suspects are CDs, beer, books, books about beer, magazines about beer, gas, anything related to my car, first dates, second dates, third dates and the beer that I’m forced to drink to get through all those dates. I’m not looking for sympathy, mind you. I know I’m a fool with my money. And some folks recognize the value of a dollar and save. And I will undoubtedly be buying them beers at the bar tonight. Readers' Forum Young Life Does Not Recruit at Schools, Editorial Mistaken TO THE EDITOR: The editorial on Young Life was thoroughly confused (“Trapped,” Feb. 22). The argument rested on three basically flawed premises: 1) Lunchtime at East Chapel Hill High School constitutes a captive audience, 2) High school kids are immature to the point of being mindless drones, 3) Young Life has some sort of devious secret agenda. Even if kids can’t leave campus, or even the cafeteria, for lunch, that hardly constitutes a captive audience. A student in a classroom has no abil ity to remove himself without conse quences if a teacher tries to preach, but this is not the case in a larger building. Put it like this: Could someone “corner” you in Top of Lenoir? No way. First off, they don’t have power over you, and, second, the room is too big. The YL-ers have no power to force the kids to listen and I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that any high school cafeteria is more than big enough to allow for a seat change. Thomas Ausman DESIGN EDITOR Megan Sharkey GRAPHICS EDriOR William Hill ONLINE EDriOR BRIAN FREDERICK ON TAP But I’m not content wallowing in my debt. 1 have high aspirations. I’m shooting for a million dollars in two years. That’s a million in the hole. Screw making a million, that’d require a lot of work. I just want to spend a million. And it’s a good thing that every time 1 reach my credit limit, the credit vultures raise my limit that much more. Do they really expect me to pay my debt off? I think I’m going to sit down and type a let ter, copy it and send it to every one of these companies: “Are you kidding? There’s no way in hell Pm ever gonna pay you back.” Of course, I’ll probably avoid that route for fear of some 300-pound football player “coin cidentally” showing up at my door a couple weeks later. Actually, I have a plan. First, I will use my cards to charge automat ic weapons, fertilizer and survival supplies. (Just to make them think twice about paying me a visit.) The next step is to make them think I’m crazy. I’ll charge a bunch of latex, food dehy drators and John Tesh albums. I’ll sign my minimum balance checks in crayon, on a nap kin, with 17 stamps. So I’m always in debt, always looking to spend more and constantly putting off paying that debt to the point where I’ll never pay it off. There’s not much difference between me The idea that high school students will suddenly fold their beliefs and convert just because some “cool col lege kids” said so is absurd. We were all high school students once. We all may have wanted to dress in style and listen to the latest music, but were any of us so really trapped in our own little version of “Clueless” as to let a college kid passing through lunch to dictate the foundation of our belief system? If I were an ECHH student I’d be insulted. Give these high school kids some credit and get off this preten tious “I’ve been so enlightened by college, I’ve got to protect these inno cent children” trip. Perhaps the most disturbing of your mistakes was your confusion of YL with the Hitler Youth. You make it sound like YL sits in its meetings stroking hairless cats and plots to “exploit students as they go through adolescent uncertainty.” The YL-ers are trying to build relationships by communicating with these kids. Now, I imagine that at some point during the conversation, as the two groups get to know each other, the subject of Jesus will arise. And I would imagine the YL-ers have good things to say aboutjesus. Vicky Eckenrode & Cate Doty MANAGING EDITORS and the federal government if you think about it. Except I’m not $6 trillion in debt. Does anybody else find this number funny? Trillion, it sounds like a creature from Star Trek. At the rate we’re going, pretty soon we’re gonna have to start making up numbers. Bijillion, bazillion, patrillion ... At the next meeting of the Federal Reserve Board, Alan Greenspan’s grandson will be sit ting there bored off his ass, playing in the big pile of money that the board is pocketing, when they’ll turn to him and say, “Tommy, what comes after a trillion?” He’ll mumble “A zillion” and like that it will become law that when we reach 999 trillion, we’ll go to one zil lion. And do you know what happens when we reach one zillion? That’s right. Absolutely nothing. What, as if some brown-skinned foreigner is going to show up at the front door of a com pound of white militants and demand that they pay off their debt? Not a chance. As long as we’re armed to the teeth, no one is ever going to make us pay them. Why do you think we waste so much damn money on defense? So that’s why I am adopting the same phi losophy. Actually, when you think about it, if we reach a zillion-dollar debt, that means we’re going to have a bunch of trillionaires running around building mansions the size of Rhode Island while mothers in the city are actually having kids to make an extra hundred dollars a year. God bless capitalism. Or should we blame socialism and the evils of welfare? Sounds like a debate that should be taken to the bar. Can I buy you a beer? , Brian Frederick can be reached with ques tions and comments at brifred@yahoo.com, unless you're from a collection agency. Does this mean their only objec tive is spewing dogma? No. It’s some “camouflaged” manipulation “tactic". It’s just sharing your beliefs with a prospective friend. As for parents who complain about YL-ers using their apparent popular ity as peer pressure, that’s the most unappreciative thing I’ve ever heard in my life. These parents should thank their lucky stars that this is all they’ve got to worry about in their lit tle whitewashed world. “Please stop encouraging my child to be a success and a good person!” Can you imag ine anything more absurd? ECHH should be so lucky. Let’s review. 1) Lunchtime does not constitute a captive audience, 2) High school students are not mindless drones, 3) Young Life is not trying to march ruthlessly across the face of the globe, and 4) The parents should show a little more sense and be a lit tle more appreciative. Gerry Watkins Junior Political Science and History Watkins is not affiliated with Young Life. The length rule was waived. (Elje laily {Ear Hrri Terry Wimmer OMBUDSMAN j? The Daily Tar Heel wel comes reader comments and criticism. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 300 words and must be typed, double-spaced, dated and signed by no more than two people. Students should include their year, major and phone number. Faculty and staff should include their title, department and phone number. The DTH reserves the right to edit letters for space, clarity and vulgarity. Publication is not guaran teed. Bring letters to the DTH office at Suite 104, Carolina Union, mail them to P.O. Box 3257, Chapel Hill, NC 27515 or e-mail forum to: editdesk@unc.edu.
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Feb. 25, 2000, edition 1
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