2
Thursday, July 27, 2000
Gimghoul Opens
Doors to Public
It was a festive atmosphere
as the secret society ripped
off the veil of secrecy and
simply let it all hang out.
Dolly Dagger
Staff Riter
After 111 years of secrecy, the Order
of the Gimghoul threw open its doors to
the public Sunday.
Years of tradition drifted out the front
door of Hippol Casde, as visitors were
free to tour the enigmatic Chapel Hill
landmark and home to the Order of the
Gimghoul.
On the front lawn, clowns and jug
glers entertained the students, parents
and children who munched on hot dogs
and potato salad.
“For a century, we have wished to
remain a secret brotherhood," Thad
Brooder, president of the Order of the
Gimghoul told the crowd. “Today, how
ever, we wish to include everyone,
regardless of race, religion, sex, sexual
preference or economic status.”
Those interested in joining were
given an application and a free
Gimghoul coffee mug.
Brothers of the Gimghoul took turns
telling anecdotes of the secret society’s
past and rituals to the crowd of at least
fifty, not including the new-age
Christian band “God’s Turn to Rock.”
“I think it’s wonderful that these
young men recognized the community’s
contempt for secret organizations and
decided to air their dirty laundry,” said
Cindy Motter, a Chapel Hill housewife.
Most of those gathered seemed to agree
with her sentiments.
“I agree with her sentiments,” said
one woman.
GIMGHOUL, THE MAN
Sunday’s open house put to rest
rumors that have surrounded the
Gimghouls for years. Contrary to pop
ular belief, no one was ever shot in a
Right Guard Opens
Sweatshops in Asia
Jeffrey Lebowski
Staff Riter
Pledging to eliminate the stink sur
rounding sweatshops, Right Guard
announced Wednesday it would be re
opening several factories in Southeast
Asia.
The once condemned factories will
now produce Right Guard deodorant.
“None of our workers will have to
worry about sweating,” Right Guard
spokesman Jim Alpine said. “They will
receive all the deodorant they and their
families need.”
Alpine touted the unique opportuni
ty producing deodorant in a sweatshop
presents.
“We will no longer have to hire mod
els to test the newest products,” he said.
“Now we can further utilize our work
ers, ultimately saving money for the
consumer.”
Sweatshops have recently come
under fire because of the long hours,
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duel on the Hippol grounds, though the
brothers swear that a Sasquatch was
spotted in the nearby woods during the
fall of 1979.
While the Sasquatch story may be
suspect, the origin of the brotherhood is
set in stone.
Sean Gimghoul was the son of an
Irish immigrant who befriended the
Order’s founder, James Littlefield, then
a UNC junior. The two loved collecting
bugs and flowers and writing poetry.
Gimghoul died less than a year later
after a fatal case of gingivitis.
The search for other friends who
shared Littlefield’s interests was difficult
and fearing persecution from the rest of
the student body, the new group of
UNC students and friends created the
Order of the Gimghoul.
A NEW HOME IN GLANDON FOREST
Though the Order’s original home
was the apartment that now houses
University Massage, in 1926, the Order
completed work on Hippol Castle in
Glandon Forest, just east of campus.
Why a castle? “It’s every man’s
dream to own a castle," said Brooder.
“Here at Hippol, every member can be
a king, or a queen, depending on their
preference.”
Glandon Forest had been home to a
rare species of deer that was wiped out
with the construction of Hippol. Today,
the forest serves as a summer refuge for
squatters.
INSIDE HIPPOL CASTLE
Despite the dreamy, fairy tale-esque
stone facade of Hippol Casde, often
called Gimghoul Casde, die inside is
more reminiscent of the inside of a Taco
Bell.
The walls are bright orange and yel
low; the furniture is vinyl. Velvet paint
ings (Elvis, Virgin Mary, KISS, Che
Guevara) hang in the living room.
On a wooden coffee table in the cen
ter of the room is a bowl of wooden
fruit. Flies even hover near the bowl,
low wages and unsafe conditions work
ers must endure.
Right Guard says it will pay its work
ers sufficiendy.
“Our workers start at $2 an hour,
which is much higher than the average
$1.75 wage,” Alpine said. “Plus, when
you factor in the free deodorant, which
runs about $2 a stick, our workers are
well compensated. And, they smell
good.”
The new factories will not have air
conditioning. Alpine said some heat is
necessary to facilitate perspiration.
Right Guard also used the occasion
to unveil anew ad campaign for Right
Guard Jungle. The new deodorant will
be produced in the new factories and
workers will be the first to test the new
product.
Said Alpine, “Right Guard will con
tinue to fight the war against perspira
tion.”
Jeffrey Lebowski cannot be reached.
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DTH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION/BRIAN FREDERICK
Gimghoul Castle has been a source of myth and speculation for years at the University. But the ghastly structure is a mystery no longer, as the Order
ot the Gimghoul has opened its doors to the public and allowed all of its vast history and long-buried secrets see the light of public scrutiny.
though they are attracted to the sticky
remains of a spilled soda.
Upstairs is a transcendental medita
tion room, which it turns out, doubles as
a home for the campus Krishna gang. It
seems one of the Gimghoul brothers
took a liking to the clan and offered the
upstairs of Hippol as a refuge.
Downstairs is what else? A bowling
alley. Another secret revealed Sunday
was the deep-seeded tie between the
Gimghouls and professional bowling.
New Deli Caters to Vegans, Cannibals
Irwin Fletcher
Staff Riter
Serving dishes such as kidneys with
kidney beans, Finger Food has opened
its doors on Franklin Street.
Though it is the first restaurant of its
kind, the two seemingly different
cuisines of vegans and cannibals actual
ly compliment each other well.
“We are proud to serve food that
doesn’t depend on the misuse of ani
mals,” said owner Yarbo Poohli. “Our
vegan customers are rediscovering the
wonderful taste of meat. And the canni
Local Man Throws His Voice, Kills Bystander
Max Power
Staff Riter
It was meant to be an innocent parlor
trick. But it ended in tragedy.
Lance Meyer, 33, was attempting to
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Several Gimghouls have found success
on the professional bowling tour.
Current PBA champ Brent Steele is a
UNC alum and proud Gimghoul.
“All my success as a bowler can be
traced to my days in the basement of
Hippol Castle,” Steele told the crowd
Sunday.
“There’s something magical about
this alley, this castle.”
Steele kicked off an afternoon of free
bowling for the public by throwing a
bals appreciate the fine sides of organi
cally grown vegetables.”
Finger Food’s menu offers a wide
variety of dishes from white knuckle
chili to leg of homo sapien with cous
cous.
“My dinners used to be quite bland,”
said Nole Platt, a Carrboro cannibal. “I
used to just throw everything into a pot.
But I’ll definitely be borrowing some
recipes.”
Some vegan customers are coming
around to the taste of flesh.
“I used to feel guilty about eating
meat,” said Daisy Lewis, a UNC junior
amuse a group of co-workers at a local
pub by throwing his voice to the other
side of the room. Instead, the voice
struck Tina Weill, a 24 year-old
Carrboro office assistant, in the head,
killing her instantly.
strike on the ceremonial first roll.
THE FUTURE OF GIMGHOUL
Ironically, now that the shroud of
mystery has been removed from the
Order of the Gimghoul, its future seems
unclear.
With several public events slated at
Hippol in the next few months, (a chil
dren’s book fair, a student square dance,
a homeless ball), one wonders how long
a hundred year-old brotherhood that
from Asheville. “I would think of the
poor abuse of cows and chickens. But
now, I can chomp on fresh meat without
the guilt.”
One man drove all the way from
Green Bay, Wise., to experience die new
deli.
“I eat a lot of sausage in Green Bay,”
said Butch Moore. “But this is the best
bloodwurst I’ve ever had. And the liv
erwurst, wow.
“Even the Italian sausage is real
Italian."
There is also a children’s menu,
which one Chapel Hill boy raved about.
“It was hilarious,” said Matt Coble,
one of Meyer’s co-workers. “I mean,
not when the lady died, but when he
threw it. I couldn’t see his lips moving at
all.”
Weill’s friends weren’t laughing,
though.
“It’s a shame when human life takes
a backseat to trickery,” said Allison
Pollard.
Authorities are still considering
whether to charge Meyer with
manslaughter.
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was created due to the fear of public per
secution will survive with open doors.
Brooder remains optimistic. “The
brothers of the Order of the Gimghoul
are much like Hippol Casde, itself. Sure,
on the outside, we seem cold and
moldy, but on the inside, we’re warm
and fuzzy.
“Now everyone can be a part of our
special family.”
Dolly Dagger cannot be reached.
“The potatoes have eyes,” said
Timothy Green, 5, with a laugh. “The
com has ears.”
Poohli said he has no plans to fran
chise his restaurant, yet. He is consider
ing, however, an all-meat restaurant in
Charlotte. “A lot of people, especially
men, really prefer to do without the
greens, they want nothing but meat, and
I think we can give it to them.”
Perhaps the top of Finger Food’s
menu best describes the new restaurant:
“Finger Food is truly to die for.”
Irwin Fletcher cannot be reached.
As Meyer left the scene of the crime
with authorities, he was silent, though
“no comment” was heard from the
other side of the room..
“Humor used with reckless abandon
can be quite dangerous,” said Art
Downey, a professor at Slippery Rock
College. ‘Just look at the pun tragedies
that marred the 80s.”
Other deaths have been attributed to
whoopee cushions, exploding golf balls
and dwarf-tossing.
One of Meyer’s childhood friends
says he feels somewhat responsible for
the accident.
“When we were kids, Lance and I
ordered some magic tricks from the
back of a magazine,” said Freddy Potts,
of Charlotte. “Lance wanted to order
the X-ray specs, but I wanted to be able
to throw my voice and I won.
“I was never as good as Lance at
throwing my voice,” Potts said.
“Though, in retrospect, I guess maybe 1
was.”
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