8
Monday, November 19, 2001
Opinion
(Th? t3aili| (Ear Hrrl
huablished 1893 • 108 Yean ef Editorial Freedom
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Katie Hunter
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When Invisible Sports Gnomes Attack
That’s right, folks! The holi
days are quickly approach
ing. Soon, men every
where will be in the kitchen
cooking up Thanksgiving dinner
while women sit on the couch,
drink beer and watch the Macy’s
Thanksgiving Day Parade. Wait
a minute ...
Why do the TV screens in the
Dean Dome not show players when
they attempt foul shots? It shows all
the other action, but it goes to a blue
NC screen right before the free throws. Then it’ll
come back on in time for the rebound action. -
SB.
Unfortunately, I was unable to get an
answer to your question from the invisible
gnomes who live in the rafters of the Dean
Dome, guard those gigantic jerseys and ran
the TV screens. They did, however, throw
curses and leftover hot dog buns from
Friday’s game at me. Aren’t they adorable?
Seriously though, since I couldn’t get a
straight answer from anyone, I have to ven
ture my own guess. Let’s say the score is
tied 83-83. There are 1.2 seconds left on the
clock, and you are stepping up to the chari
ty stripe for the game-deciding free throws.
And you know the outcome of the game
d<x*ym3r}ette.. a>l7)
EVER SINCE SEPTEMBER I i™ TMTHfS SENSE OF IMPENDING POOM!"
Board Editorials
A Breath of Fresh Air
The federal government has given North Carolina a golden opportunity to improve its air and water
It might be easier for Triangle residents
to catch a breath of fresh air soon, thanks to
lawmakers on Capitol Hill.
The U.S. Congress recently approved a
bill appropriating $2.5 million to UNC-
Chapel Hill so researchers can study water
and air quality in the Triangle.
Considering the threadbare state of
America’s purse, doling out such a hefty
portion of funds to study the environment
might seem like mismanagement, but leg
islators made the right decision.
Despite this state’s reputation for pristine
beaches and mountain vistas, North
Carolina’s air quality is terrible. In fact, last
spring the American Lung Association
ranked the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill
area eleventh among cities with the worst
air in America. Surprisingly, breathing is
more dangerous here than in New York,
Dallas or San Diego - so bad that the region
received an “F” in the ALA’s “State of the
Air 2001” report. One-fourth of North
Carolina’s counties violate national air qual
President Bush's attempt to restrict the work of historians is an affront to the public's right to know
Have you noticed that President Bush
has succeeded in clamping down on your
right to know? Most of the public, distract
ed by the war in Afghanistan and the per
vasive fear of biological warfare, hasn’t. But
for your information, our president has
made one more move in his thinly veiled
campaign to filter government information
to the public.
Public citizens - from journalists to every
day Joes - now must show a specific “need
to know” in order to access presidential
papers from the Reagan, Clinton and two
Bush presidencies, as well as those to follow.
And if a person wants to see papers from
previous presidencies that were never made
public, he will now need permission of the
former president and the current one.
American presidents controlled their
own documents until 1978, when in
Watergate’s wake Congress passed the
Presidential Papers Act, a move dearly
designed to make sure that presidential
rests on your shoulders.
You focus on the basket, try to
remember all your mechanics,
and prepare for your first shot -
but suddenly something catches
your eye. Up on the big screen,
in glorious Technicolor, is a huge
shot of your face. Drops of sweat
the size of basketballs are drip
ping off your face, all magnified
for everyone to see.
You lose your concentration.
You try to sink the first basket
ADAM SHUPE
FI
but miss. The second one hits the rim and
is rebounded by a raisin-headed fool from
down the road who makes a long pass to a
gangly white boy for the game’s winning
lay-up. What would have been a bragging
right for years to come becomes just anoth
er loss. All because those damn gnomes
had to leave the screen on during the free
throws.
Now, granted, this didn’t happen, and
we still hold those bragging rights no mat
ter who won the championship last year.
But it might not be too far from tile truth. I,
for one, wouldn’t want a magnified picture
of my face on any TV screen, much less
one in the Dean Dome.
Besides, who wants to see Carlos
ity regulations, the ALA report states.
In its persistent pursuit of rankings and
academic excellence, UNC-CH is just the
institution to be entrusted with finding solu
tions for improving North Carolina’s poor
air quality. With the results of their studies,
researchers should be able to recommend
some tangible steps to protect public
health, keep North Carolina attractive and
preserve the environment.
Lung tissue is extremely delicate and eas
ily damaged by pollutants in the air.
Decreasing airborne contaminants can
reduce North Carolinians’ risk of asthma
and allergies, chronic bronchitis, lung can
cer and other respiratory diseases. In the
long run, improving public health will save
money for taxpayers and government.
Fewer people will need expensive medical
treatments for respiratory problems, so
publicly funded health care will cost less.
The state’s natural beauty is part of its
allure, and lost mountaintop views resulting
from smog will mean lost tourists. No one
Secrets and Lies
documents could not be permanently
blocked from the public eye. Until Bush
added his own two cents, the act called for
the release of presidential papers 12 years
after the president left office.
The papers under immediate question
now are the 68,000 documents from
Ronald Reagan’s two terms that were sup
posed to be released injanuary, nearly nine
months ago. Reagan’s papers were the first
to fall under the 12-year rule, but they
weren’t released because Bush’s cronies
spent the year reviewing the act, thereby
freezing the documents.
These documents could provide vital
information to journalists and historians -
key insights to Oval Office snafus and
shenanigans, as well as what really went on
behind the historic acts and speeches. But
Bush, motivated by reasons still not clear to
the public, has decided that those acts
belong to a silent history, not to the public
that originally voted the man into office.
Boozer’s face close up? Gross.
I’m doing a project on NCAA sports teams,
and I was wondering which school has the most
NCAA Division I championships, combining all
sports. -E.C.
What am I, Sports Trivia Boy or some
thing? Oh well. According to espn.com
(every sports fan’s Web Mecca), UCLA and
USC (that’s Southern California, not South
Carolina) are tied at 85. Stanford is close
with 75. But it’s Harvard, with 111 NCAA
Division 1 championships, that takes the
cake. It kind of helps that it has a few years
on its closest competitors. Harvard has
been around since 1636, giving it 244 years
over USC (1880) and 39 more over UCLA
(1919).
UNC holds 29 NCAA championships,
highest in the ACC. Granted, 16 of those
are from women’s soccer, but that’s what
dynasties are all about. Closest behind us is
Maryland with 15, riding on nine years of
women’s lacrosse dominance. Duke holds a
whopping five. It’s nice to be on top.
Adam doesn’t think it’s fair that Harvard
gets to count its co-ed sailing (4), men’s and
women’s ice hockey (2) and mens and
womens squash (42) championships. E-mail
Sports Trivia Boy at shupe@email.unc.edu.
wants to climb a mountain if the air is so bad
wheezing is unavoidable and the reward for
reaching the pinnacle is a polluted panorama.
In addition to producing haze, polluted
air stains buildings and can cause acid rain
that damages stone. If UNC researchers can
discover ways to curb such pollution, they
will save the state the time and money spent
on cleaning and restoration. Finding solu
tions for pollution will also protect valuable
natural resources, such as the water supply
and reduce damage to the ozone layer.
Exhaust from transportation causes 79
percent of the state’s carbon monoxide pol
lution, which eats away at the thin layer
protecting us from the sun’s scorching rays.
With electric utilities such as Carolina
Power & Light pumping out sulfur dioxide
as they bum coal and oil and the constant
pileup of coughing cars clogging the high
ways, air quality will only get worse unless
North Carolinians are proactive.
Hopefully UNC-CH researchers will be
able to help the state clean up its act.
Funny that those possibly mentioned in
Reagan’s papers from 12 years ago are back
in office under the new Bush. The same
people making decisions about the war in
Afghanistan are the same ones who were in
office when the United States originally
sent funding to the mujahideen.
But if Bush keeps his way, regardless of
whether information in these papers could
possibly embarrass them, we won’t know.
The White House says that if you are
denied access to information, you can take
the matter to court -a most efficient way to
handle the matter, since most of the public
has thousands of dollars and hours to pur
sue a legal case against the White House.
We do not live in a society run on secre
cy and locked lips -a society against every
thing American democracy embodies. So
for your information, Congress must pass a
law striking down Bush’s order. Our presi
dents should have nothing to hide from the
public.
(S)
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comes reader comments
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longer than 300 words
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ble-spaced, dated and
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editdesk@unc.edu.
Readers' Forum =
Columnist Should Hone
Critical Thinking Skills
And Not Be Taken In’
TO THE EDITOR:
It is not surprising that Rachel
Hockfield finds it difficult to “ace” her phi
losophy papers. From the simple fact that
there was a governmental proclamation of
Thanksgiving, she reaches the amazing
conclusion that not only is the entire story
of the Puritans’ Thanksgiving an inven
tion, but also, “There wasn’t even a
Squanto.” While I would never say there
isn’t a great deal to debunk in the tradi
tional accounts of the first Thanksgiving,
Ms. Hockfield would do well to improve
her research skills. Very basic Web search
es - hardly the only research tool avail
able - turn up considerable well
researched information on Tisquantum
(Squanto) of the Wampanoag peoples. I’m
not talking about reverent homages to a
candy-corn cultural exchange but numer
ous examinations of historical accounts
and the diverse perspectives on the
motives of all involved. If the writer wish
es to bemoan our willingness to accept
these stories uncritically, she should hone
her own critical thinking skills in explor
ing the alternatives. Otherwise, she is as
Uncle Sam the
Pimp: Support
Your Local Ho
Have you ever walked past an abortion clinic, seen
people loitering outside the building and thought to
yourself, “Nope, they’re not hookers”?
No, I can’t say I have either.
Yet there is a correlation between spreading legs for cash
and flushing out a uterus. The commonality might not jump
out and beat you about the neck and face with clarity, so allow
me to expound on my meaning.
Pro-choice advocates use the very
simple argument that a woman has
the right to do as she pleases with her
body. This is fallacious at best If it
were true, a woman (or man for that
matter) could consensually offer her
(or his) body to the highest bidder.
Yet this is illegal. Whoring out your
body is a private matter that should
skirt past governmental morality reg
ulations with no more difficulty than
it takes to abort a fetus.
Putting aside the moral and philosophical implications,
of which I could hardly scratch the surface in my allotted
space, why permit one and not the other?
Back-alley mom-and-pop abortion clinics used to kill lots
of people. The victims of this covert process were not the
dregs of society (i.e., losers who can’t get laid and hookers
loitering on street comers). Prostitution, however, deals
exclusively with these insalubrious individuals. Politicians
have no qualms about putting less savory individuals at risk
and thus uphold the laws that created this underground sex
market.
So why not decriminalize prostitution here in Uncle
Sam’s backyard? It’s legal in sparsely populated regions of
Nevada. But don’t fly out to Las Vegas just yet. Prostitution
is illegal in Nevada’s larger cities. I’m sure you could find a
call girl on the Vegas strip, but there’s no guarantee she has
neither an STD nor a penis. How can a law based in moral
ity be applied geographically? Prostitutes in Nevada regis
ter with local authorities and work in licensed brothels
adhering to strict laws. Streetwalking is prohibited. Health
checks take place twice a month. These ladies also work as
independent contractors. So, in effect, these laws fight the
spread of STDs, keep the harlots out of sight and mitigate
the chances of either party enduring abuse. We 11... abuse
that wasn’t paid for by some masochist in a business suit.
Legalizing prostitution might express de facto govern
mental support for this institution, but it surely won’t pro
mote the practice’s acceptability. Nobody applauds the guy
that walks into the video store’s back room. The negative
stigma tied to paying for sexual entertainment will continue
to exist.
Providing for the safety of deviant and prudish citizens
alike, the U.S. government would be wise to run superfly
pimps everywhere out of business and take over the indus
try’s reins. Govemmentally regulated prostitution would
greatly decrease the rape and assault inflicted on call girls
who are too afraid to report attacks. Talking to cops about
problems with your pimp isn’t a good career move.
And no, this isn’t going to encourage more men and
women to succumb to the glamour associated with whore
dom. The unfortunate souls leading these lives were likely
sexually abused as children and/or chose their career
because it was the most viable option.
Whether or not to put your body on the auction block is
a rather cut-and-dry question. If you’re convinced to hook
after haggling over your price, then the whole self-respect
and morality thing was never really present.
Hooking is about the money. It’s not like an internship.
Hookers don’t do it for the experience. The perks suck, but
it pays better than busing tables at Denny’s.
Can the government combat this allure of money?
Reducing prices may discourage some possible applicants,
but demand among lonely perverts would skyrocket and
recreate underground prostitution rings. Some economical
ly astute pimp would surely attempt to undercut the gov
ernment’s price and steal market share. The government
should be able to out compete the illegal prostitution rings,
however, by offering their stable of hoes both safety and
higher wages.
Overhauling the moral framework of American society
is not likely to happen any time soon. So I guess the only
words of advice I can offer my lonely, law-abiding, morally
lax readers would be to place an order for a Filipino mail
order bride. Yeah, buying a wife is much less morally rep
rehensible than buying sex.
Michael Carlton would like to wish a happy 21st birthday
to Meg and Laurel, who provided no inspiration whatsoever
for this column. Really, they didn’t Proposition him at carl
ton@email.unc.edu.
easily “taken in” as anyone she criticizes.
Andrea R. Granados
Graduate Student
School of Education
Student Recreation
Center Is Inadequate,
UNC Can Do Better
TO THE EDITOR:
As an upperclassmen who lives off
campus I have been pushed to joining a
gym rather than being able to use the
Student Recreation Center. This has
been particularly frustrating because I
don’t particularly enjoy spending to extra
money, but the facilities offered leave
much to be desired. Not only is parking
an issue, but the size and quality of the
building itself are also lacking. Compared
to other schools, like UNC-Wilmington
and University of Georgia, our recreation
center does not provide adequately for
our students. There need to be more car
diovascular machines and more space for
lifting weights.
Amy Noon
• Junior
Communications and Psychology
(Mjr SatUj ular HM
MICHAEL
CARLTON
MOJOVIAN V.D.