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8 Monday, December 3, 2001 Opinion ulu> tlailp (Ear Hrcl Established 1893 • 108 Yean of Editorial Freedom www <feilytartwi.com Katie Hunter Editor Office Hours Friday 2 p.m. -3 p.m. Kim Minugh MANAGING EDITOR Sefton Ipock VISUAL COORDINATOR Jermaine Caldwell SPECIAL PROJECTS COORDINATOR Kate Hartig EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR Lizzie Breyer university editor Kellie Dixon CITY EDITOR Alex Kaplun STATE N NATIONAL EDITOR Rachel Carter SPORTS EDITOR James Giza SFORTSATURDAY EDITOR Faith Ray FEATURES EDITOR Russ Lane ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Terri Rupar COPY DESK EDITOR Kara Arndt PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Beth Buchholz DESIGN EDITOR Cobi Edelson GRAPHICS EDITOR Catherine Liao ONLINE EDITOR Josh Myerov OMBUDSMAN Concerns or comments about our coverage? Contact the ombudsman at |mverov<oemail.unc.eclu or by phone at 918-1311 Last Call for FI: Advice For the Lovelorn As we wrap up this semes ter, many memories flood back to us. An exciting football season overshadowed a not-so-exciting basketball start. Tuition increases, Qatar campus es and parking spaces got plenty of attention. Professors and text books didn’t. I hope my column did, though. And I hope it will again next semester. Enjoy the holi days, everyone. Hey, advice man. Hike this guy, but I’m not sure if he likes me. I’m in that awkward position of making a fool of myself or taking it to the next level. The problem is that he is so busy, I rarely any time to see if there is potential. So should 1 put myself out there or look for greener, more available pastures? - A. W. There is a guy in one of my classes that I would like to know better. We get together once a week to do class work and eat lunch, but there is never an opportunity to take it to another level. I have invited him to do things with me, but our schedules conflict badly. I’d like to maintain the friendship past this semester, but I don’t know how to ensure that this will happen. Any sugges Holiday history CHftfEL HILL 1 A # T . /' % py Korst * Here 7 . JL V / Board Editorials Defense of the Realm North Carolina's new bioterrorism law is a powerful weapon in the state's arsenal North Carolina has jumped ahead of the rest of the country by passing its new bioterrorism laws. The new legislation, the first of its kind passed by an individual state since Sept. 11, gives Gov. Mike Easley new spending authority to bolster state agencies’ coffers in the event of a terrorist attack. The legislation, which Easley signed into law Wednesday, certainly covers the bases of preventing bioterrorism attacks. It targets communication networks between state and community health departments. It provides for new bioterrorism labs, and it creates seven new bioterrorism teams based in county health departments as well as anew state bioterrorism team to the time of $1.6 million. These teams are key to the preventative measures necessary to combat future possi ble bioterrorism attacks. They will monitor patterns that could indicate attacks and will determine treatment of attacks should they occur. And in perhaps the toughest move to battle bioterrorism, the law steeply raises They Want You Allowing military recruiting in public schools is acceptable provided it's done equitably College is not for everyone. There are many high school students who are better suited to march to the beat of a different drum after graduation. This is why Congress should approve the amendment to the Elementary and Secondary Education Act increasing military recruiters’ access to high school students. Currently more than one-third of public high schools restrict recruiters’ access to student information or to school campuses, according to the U.S. Department of Defense. Some claim government repre sentatives want to lure students away from continuing education, or that such access violates students’ privacy. It is true that if the bill is approved, pub lic high schools would be required to aid military recruiters by turning over the names, addresses and telephone numbers of their students and by allowing represen tatives to distribute recruitment information on campus. tions? - K. W What better way to finish the year than by answering the quin tessential romance question for not one, but two people? Both of you want to move to the next level, but don’t know if your friends want to come along. So how do you get Mr. Right to become Mr. Right Now? There are volumes and vol umes of love “self-help” books ADAM SHUPE FI that will give you advice on how to get your man or woman. Needless to say, I’ve never read any of them, so I’m just going to have to wing it, based on my own experi ence. Before you go traipsing to Cloud Nine, you need to make sure he wants to join you. Now, you could just ask, making your self vulnerable to the always popular, “Why don’t we just be friends,” or “Awww, that’s so sweet... but no.” Or, you could use an easier and safer tactic: espionage. Get one of your friends to ask about his feelings toward you and if he’s willing to move into more intimate ter ritory. If yes, then go get ’em, tiger. If no, don’t despair. He might just not be the penalty for false reports of bioterrorism attacks. The penalty for perpetuating a hoax by using false biological or chemical weapons now ranges from 38 months up to 19 years and one month -a stiff penalty for a practical joke. But this shows the legisla ture and the governor absolutely mean business. House Majority Leader Philip Baddour said Wednesday that the state must update its laws to reflect the new reality. He’s right. We are living in a drastically changed nation, one that absolutely must take pre ventive steps in anticipation of another dis aster like the events of Sept. 11. We can no longer live in a state of innocence, and the legislature has shown remarkable efficien cy by facing up to that fact so soon. In an uncertain time of potential danger, speed in preventing attacks is essential. While it doesn’t come at the most oppor tune economic time for the state or country, these new laws are needed, not only to up state security but to ensure cooperation Contrary to critics’ claims, however, these changes will benefit students. In peacetime and wartime alike, schools should help students explore alternative career options, especially those students without plans for college or the means to attend immediately. Part of education is helping students plan for their futures, and aiding armed forces recruiters in turn aids many students. If schools allow universities access to col lege-bound students and their personal information, it is only fair that the U.S. Armed Forces be allowed to present their options as well. Without access to students, recruiters have fewer opportunities to con tact candidates. While they can still scour malls and other popular gathering places, getting young people’s attention is more difficult when they are focused on leisure instead of their futures. Many high school students are unaware of the opportunities the military offers, and ready. Continue to work your wiles and he’ll come around. Most guys are totally clueless to when girls like them anyway (trust me, I know ... err ... or maybe I don’t know). So just give him some time to get used to the idea. Now, both of you say you have trouble finding time together (I hope you both aren’t talking to the same guy). Well, there are ways to see each other more, the best of which is to figure out each other’s schedule. When is he all alone, studying in Davis? When is he eating lunch in Lenoir (or Chase, though I don’t recommend it for a romantic interlude)? When could you sur prise him when he gets home from class? Little things like these send clear mes sages to guys. There’s a difference between having fun when you happen to meet and making the effort to spend time together. Guys are pretty dense, I’ll admit. But when a girl obviously wants to spend time with us, we usually take the hint. After that, the next step and all its benefits will be yours. Adam Shupe is the best-selling author of "Romance For Dummies,” the best love self help book since “Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Another Planet.” For your own copy, e-mail shupe@email.unc.edu. with the inevitable other state and federal efforts. Although North Carolina has led the country in passing this legislation, it cer tainly won’t be the last state to do so. These laws are a step in the right direction and could serve as a wake-up call for other states to get their acts together. North Carolina’s internationally renowned reputation for bioresearch also must be protected in this time of uncer tainty. The state’s research universities and other research institutes must be regulated as well as protected, and the legislature has created a strong legal basis for doing so. The bioterrorism teams based around the Triangle would do well to pay close atten tion to activity around the universities and the Research Triangle Park. They could be a hotbed of bioterrorism activity if not properly monitored and protected. We can only hope that as North Carolina steps up to the plate other states will follow suit. No state should fall behind in pre venting bioterrorism. promotional mailings or phone calls may be the only way they can become informed. Colleges and universities already engage in similar recruiting strategies, and the results are mutually beneficial: students learn about their post-graduation options and the institutions’ candidate pools increase. Furthermore, it seems that opponents in the schools have forgotten that the U.S. Armed Forces offer to finance a university education for anyone who enlists and ful fills a military commitment. If Congress approves the provision, school districts that fail to comply could lose a significant amount of federal aid. Instead of keeping valuable resources away from students, government entities should present a united front. Public schools and military representatives should work together to provide America’s youngest adult citizens the greatest range of services. Readers' Forum = Feingold Visit Delayed, Students Should Attend Rescheduled Speech TO THE EDITOR: The Young Democrats were ecstatic about being able to provide the campus with an alternative to Horowitz’s divi sive message. We were hosting Russ Feingold, one of the most progressive members of the United States Senate; certainly quite a contrast to Horowitz. Unfortunately, due to unforeseeable cir cumstances, Senator Feingold’s visit to Chapel Hill must be rescheduled for 8 p.m., Jan. 14 in Memorial Hall. As Thursday morning began, I was thrilled about the prospects for Feingold’s speech, set for Dec. 3. The opinion on campus was that Horowitz focused little on positive solutions to issues and instead spewed unbridled hatred for anyone who disagreed with his fanatical vision. Senator Feingold would be the perfect antidote. However, Thursday morning, I received a phone call from the Senator’s office explaining that the Senate was con sidering a vote on the proposed eco nomic stimulus package. It is highly unusual for the Senate to hold votes on Mondays. However, this F The Daily Tar Heel wel comes readef comments and criticism. Letters to the editor should be no longer titan 300 words and must be typed, dou ble-spaced, dated and signed by no more than two people. Students should indude their year, major and phone num ber. Faculty and staff should include their title, department and phone number. The DTH reserves the right to edit letters for space, clarity and vul garity, Publication is not guaranteed. Bring letters to the DTH office at Suite 104, Carolina Union, mail them to P.O. Box 3257, Chapel Hill, NC 27515 or e-mail forum to: editdesk®unc,edu. The Secrets of Mojovian V.D. Now Revealed If you’re planning to read the first 10 lines of my column and then abruptly put down the newspaper and walk away in protest of any views I’ve expressed throughout this semester, please have the decency to recycle. It’s not that I mind disagreement; I’d simply suggest you save any lame and idiotic demonstration of defiance for an ignorant deaf-mute. If you’d rather not flood my e-mail account with hate mail because of the pesky task of validating articulate points but still wish to dissent, might I suggest something that isn’t half assed. Although burning an effigy of my body and dragging it around campus behind a 2001 Volkswagen Bug would be really flattering, it would be incomplete without some sort of verbal renunciation of my ideas. And yes, I’m mocking the fruidess nature of last week’s Horowitz protest. I bet these are the same people who protest America’s obsession with physical beauty by riding the exercise bike and quitting after three minutes. OK. I don’t want to use my final column to discuss how close-minded activists can better waste their time. I also oppose filling your head with mindless drivel with no prac tical application. Hence, I’ll attempt to minimize the fluff in my farewell address. First, I apologize for never writing about why squirrels are cute. I feel bad, because 1 know why they’re adorable. I’m just too selfish to part with this information. Also, 1 meant to get around to discussing this crazy weather we’re having, but stuff like rampant hypocrisy and national crises kept popping up. But really, the weather has been crazy, eh? And for those of you who were looking for someone to pick up the torches ignited by past columnists, I’m sorry if I failed you as well. Discussing the dos and don’ts of self gratification might be a topic relevant to each of our lives, but I’d rather not treat masturbation as pre-writing. If you were hoping I’d form another cult devoted to the adoration of a pop music icon, once again I apologize. (Although “Like a Virgin” might make an excellent hymn and Sex reads as enlightening scripture, I’d have a hard time fabricating such a system of morals.) Seriously though, there are so many ideologies and groups into which I’ve been meaning to sink my caustic, cynical teeth. I’ve left so many questions unanswered: Do indie rock kids become pretentious after buying five eco-friendly buttons for their over-the-shoulder satchels and limiting their wardrobes to pre-owned thrift store apparel? Or must they first resemble an anorexic Drew Carey and be willing to lie about nonexistent side projects for unknown bands in hopes of impressing other suburbanite students overwhelmed by the ills of capitalism? Sports might not fall under my jurisdiction as an editori al columnist, but I don’t see a problem with poking fun at the unathletic bumpkins picked to kick prize-winning field goals at halftime. And no, I didn’t forget about the Greek system. But there’s only so much you can say about walking stereo types. It’s hardly worth devoting an entire column to reiter ate the fact that buying friends and making them your clones is a sad way to go through life. Lastly, I promised one of my fellow columnists that I’d reveal the meaning behind my tagline, “Mojovian V.D. Although it sounds like some sort of genital malady that might infect frequent visitors of massage parlors, it has little to do with me either being an amorous lover or having contracted gonorrhea from a classy whore. Asa freshman, my friends nicknamed me “Mojo.” This is because of my Instant Messenger screen name -- not an innate ability to sweep ladies off their feet. (The name actually refers to a super genius cartoon monkey bent on ruling the world.) Although I understood “V.D.” would be interpreted as an acronym for venereal disease, it actually stands for “voodoo,” the second part of my online name. So, I guess you could say that my column attempted to coax readers to agree with me through a combination of valid arguments, a sensuous voodoo lure and lots of sub liminal messages. Anyway, thanks for reading, good luck on exams, happy holidays and may God have mercy on your soul. Michael Carlton, by the way, is a junior hailing from Midlothian,Va., who is pursuing a double major in political science and economics. Any taunts, praise, hexes or flaming bags of poo can be sent to carlton@email.unc.edu. bill is vitally important to our nation, and, understandably, the Senate leader ship wishes to pass the legislation as soon as possible. By Friday, it was certain that the eco nomic stimulus package would be voted on Monday evening and Feingold’s visit to campus would have to be resched uled. Fortunately, Senator Feingold has already rescheduled forjanuary 14. The Young Democrats appreciate your patience. We hope you will attend Senator Feingold’s talk where he will discuss such issues as his opposition to the death penalty and racial profiling, his support of campaign finance reform, and his take on national security. Senator Feingold is an individual who all of us, as Tar Heels, as North Carolinians and, as Americans, can feel proud to host at this, the finest institu tion of public learning in the nation. Christopher A. Brook President UNC Young Democrats Editor's Note The spring 2002 columnists, cartoon ists and edit board members will be notified by e-mail. Their names will be posted at a later date. Gllje Sailii (Ear MM MICHAEL CARLTON MOJOVIAN V.D.
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Dec. 3, 2001, edition 1
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