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laily Oar Heri Premise tarnishes ‘Stepford’ All-star crew can't save poor remake BY KRISTEN WILLIAMS SENIOR WRITER Keep Oprah and Steelman away from Stepford or she might pack on the pounds again with all the cupcakes she’d bake for the pair. Unlike the almighty O, the Stepford wives can’t escape their domestic destinies to eternally slave away for their geeky hus bands in ’sos chic fashions. “The Stepford Wives,” a remake of the 1975 science fiction flick of the same title, boasts a strong cast for a less-than-sturdy film. Starring veteran actors Glenn Close, Christopher Walken, Bette Midler, Matthew Broderick and Nicole Kidman, the cast echoes the film’s themes looks can be deceiving. While it appears the ensemble would be able to keep the clunky script afloat, some wife forgot to blow up the water wings when she was building her empire. Could it have been Kidman’s character? As Joanna, Kidman is washed-out even more so in her “career woman” black ensembles rail thin and ambitious. The kind of woman whose impressive resume has “wife and mother” at the bottom of the list, if at all. After she is fired and endures a subsequent meltdown, her hus band Walter (Broderick) suggests she might benefit from a change of venue. Joanna, et. al, relocate to Stepford, a gated Conncecticut town where all the wives are shiny, smiling and perfect. She attempts to blend in and joins the clean-cut crew of Bobbi (Midler) and resi dent gay character Roger (Roger Bart), as the three native New Yorkers attempt to cling to their cynicism and personalities in the altered town. The cast delivers its lines with ease and achieves the intended results, but the film’s dark humor might be lost on certain audiences. The concept of streamlining a spouse appeals to Walter, who’s been left in the shadows of his wife’s success, but Broderick’s per formance is more convincing as the whipped husband rather than one seeking a leg up in the rela tionship. The jokes, however, might fall flat as the humor goes over the ‘Hopes’ keen on Coldplay sound BY MICHAEL PUCCI ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR When Coldplay introduced themselves to the mainstream with the strangely beautiful “Yellow,” critical consensus held that this group was the chosen one to follow in Radiohead’s footsteps. Never mind that the two bands take notably different musical approaches every popular band has its disciples, and for Radiohead, Coldplay at least in critics’ eyes was one of them. Fast forward a few years, and now Coldplay finds itself in pop music’s major leagues, and quite accordingly, critics are scrambling to find a band that fits the “new Coldplay” label. Enter Keane, a piano-driven trio, with its debut LP, Hopes and Fears. Yes, if you like Coldplay, chances are you’ll like this band, too. But that’s not what makes Keane so mediocre. Hopes and Fears is an inoffen sive but inconsequential collection of pop songs that are as emotion ally vapid as they are catchy. Everything about Keane is cal culated, from the self-consciously labored music to the band photos, STARSfSfEM ★ POOR ★★ FAIR ★★★ GOOD ★★★★ EXCELLENT ★★★★★ CLASSIC E EASTERN FEDERAL easternfederal.com Online Ticketing Available <§ www.EASTERNFEDERAL.com ( MOVIES AT TIMBERLYNE Weaver Dairy at Airport Rd. AROUND THE WORLD IN SO DAYS IS Daily 1:30,4:10,7:05, 9:40 CRONICLfS Of RIDDICK IBS Daily 11:50,2:20,4:50,7:20,9:50 STEffORD WIVES ESS Daily 1:00,3:05,5:10,7:15,9:20 GARFIELD E Daily 1:10,3:10,5:10,7:10,9:10 HJRRY POTTER & THE PRISONER Of A2ABAN B3 Daily 1:05, 4:00,7:00,9:50 SHREK2E Daily 1:00,3:00,5:00,7:00,9:00 SHOWTIMES FOR TODAY ONLY! MATINU CHILD 8 SENIOR DISCOUNT ADVANCE TICKETING AVAtLAfeLE. •. • NO PASSES OR DISCOUNTS JJip If If” * kji ,r // 1 .a- . ~ pnßflHlf f mL R Jj aM-M Bl I, | f mf* ■i ' p||SgSgSl! 9 M 1 ||&jj Ban w COURTESY OF PARAMOUNT PICTURES Christopher Walken assures the apprehensive Matthew Broderick that there is life after "Inspector Gadget" in the woeful throwback "The Stepford Wives." A coterie of seasoned stars fails to salvage the schlocky film. MOVIE! i¥IEW "THE STEPFORD WIVES" ★★ heads of audience members who probably don’t even realize that it draws its appeal from campy throwback. Often the humor is subtle and snide, but screenwriter Paul Rudnik rests on his laurels with a few jokes expect the stereotypi cal gay and blond jokes to elicit laughter. One of the most humorous ele ments of the film is David Arnold’s MUSIC IEVIEW KEANE HOPES AND FEARS +ick which feature the band members looking plaintive and introspective. And there are the pedestrian lyrics, words so bland that they belie lead singer Tom Chaplin’s impassioned delivery: “You think your days are ordinary/And no one ever thinks about you/But we’re all the same.” The dainty opener, “Somewhere Only We Know,” establishes the formula for the rest of the LP. A subdued verse superficially sets up the narrator’s frustrations with the opposite sex, builds up to a majes tic chorus, includes a couple choice hooks and inspirational lyrics to rescue the song from its doldrums. “Everybody’s Changing,” the closest Keane comes to truly rock SUPERSIZE HE I MATINEES DAILY 2:15, 4:30. 7:00, 9:15 EzxsHsaii “CRITICS’ PICK-A STRONG, TAUT WARTIME DRAMA. Andn Tkchin* la ttw muur of th quick. M*h atroka. Imminurtp.B*rt la qulatly magnotlc." -GMf* fM b Franck dwmi'i Uiw jl'r [sTK/sytnMM MATINEES DAILY 2 00,4:00.7.00,9:00 VINCE VWICHN BEN STILLER mMr mm Pf \ im in MATINEES DAILY ziio, 4:20,7:i0, 9:20 , - BRILLIANT! ,y ‘FuuOfWitAnd 'ttfi - • Emotonal Honesty.. AokM Ntaar AMi acana kk •kk A* o< hk krftei Valentin 7:10, 9:30, SAT-SUN 2:10, 4:40 Spring, Summer, Winter.. 7:15, 9:30, SAT-SUN 2:15, 4:20 BON VOYAGt 7:00, 9:20, SAT-SUN 2:00, 4:30 score, which is both lilting to match the superficiality of the characters and maintains “Edward Scissorhands”-esque undertones that enhance the darkness of the film. The entire film is chock-full of flaws. It’s not the kind of movie that you’ll want to run out and buy. The film’s themes are beaten over the audience’s head, treating viewers as if they too are no more than a dazed Stepford wife. OK, we get it Joanna’s and Midler’s characters are strong women, as all the wives once were, some people think women should m KEANE#-; ,IOKSANt>mRS ©Pb** ing out, boasts a piano riff that recalls ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” but doesn’t explore it enough the song moves along precisely as you’d expect. If it cares to improve, Keane should avoid the rigid radio-ori ented structure of songs such as “Bend and Break” in favor of the more experimental tracks that pop up near the end. “Untitled 1,” which glides along on a synthesizer line straight out of V INVESTMENT PROPERTY AUCTION! 18 COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL PROPERTIES! WaHe and Orange Counties Tuesday, June 29th • 7:oopm Milestones Banquet & Meeting Center Northgate Mall, Durham, NC Auction Information, Terms & Conditions & Bidders Kit available at: www.rogersrealty.com or www.ArcadiaAuction.com Basic Terms & Conditions: $2500 cashiers or certified check at time of registration.. .10% Buyers Premium and close within 30 days! CONDUCTED BY: ROGERS REALTY & AUCTION CO, INC. 336-789-2926 • NCAL #685 IN CONJUNCTION WITH ARCADIA AUCTION & REALTY CO. 336-414-5647* NCAL #7734 k (tfeii a Arts be back in the kitchen and men are all still little boys at heart, as evi denced by the toys, cars and enhanced wives with upgraded bust lines. Audiences should look beyond the appeal of the headlining actors, save their money and rent anoth er flick starring any of these film greats. Or else you could leave the the ater feeling like a shorted out Stepford wife, twitching and feel ing wishy-washy. Contact the AdE Editor at artsdesk@unc.edu. an Air record, at first sounds out of place on Hopes and Fears, but turns out to be the most com pelling track on it simply because it dares to break the mold. Also, Chaplin’s vocals do possess a resonant quality capable of res cuing the lesser material. Ardent followers of Top 40 radio will be familiar with Keane’s strategy and latch onto this wholesale. Whether the more conscientious listener will find anything worth savoring here is debatable: if you can get past the band’s derivative nature and the glaring lack of spon taneity, you’ll be left with a perfect ly enjoyable listening experience. Some of this music is even kind of pretty. Sort of like that song, “The Scientist,” by that band, the one with the nimble lead singer yeah, that’s a real pretty song. Contact theA&E Editor at artsdesk@unc.ediu THURSDAY, JUNE 17, 2004 Legendary Harvey gets soft on 6th LP BY JENNIFER SAMUELS SENIOR WRITER PJ Harvey has been called many things during her career. Feminist. Punk-rock guitar god dess. Patron saint for angry women everywhere. These are apt descriptions, but Harvey is a more creative artist than any of the above indicate. She’s a versatile performer who produces albums that are emo tional without dripping sentiment. Uh Huh Her, Harvey’s sixth LP, is no exception. The multi-talent ed artist was responsible for vocals and most instrumentation. She crafted the liner notes from chopped-up pieces of her diary, and the candid photos that accom pany the snippets will please her rabid fans. And while the album lacks the polish of 2000’s Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea, it ben efits greatly from Harvey’s mini malist approach. Uh Huh Her is an ode to that omnipresent muse for musicians busted relationships. Released on the heels of Harvey’s latest breakup with actor Vincent Gallo, the songs embody Harvey’s meditations on what she needs to be happy. She asserts her independence on the album’s strongest track, “Shame.” Smokey vocals are lay ered over a pulsing drum beat, as Harvey sings of breaking free from an all-consuming relationship. “I’d jump for you into the fire/ Wu-Tang vibes surface on slapdash Killa LP BY PHILIP MCFEE SENIOR WRITER Jeez, what is it about the Wu- Tang Clan? Really what makes everyone keep coming back to the 36 Chambers? It’s not Wu-Wear or The Trials and Tribulations of Bobby Jones, and it’s definitely not the Method Man-Limp Bizkit collaboration “N2Gether Now.” All together, the Wu panache comes from a mix of grit and charm, credibility and the ability to fill any lyrical gap with a pop cul ture name drop. Don Rickies. This year, the nine Brooklyn MCs have anounced they’ll one day do the inevitable break up when no longer able to continue making music —a statement as obvious as it is ominous. To balance out the blues, the collective recently has spawned a strong batch of solo releases, the most recent being No Said Date, an LP from Elgin Turner, formerly High Chief and Jamel Irief, now simply Masta Killa. Similar to the fresh Ghostface album, it showcases some strong cuts, but takes a hit from its share of uneven sequencing. Rip Tom. GZA and Raekwon have shown their solo mettle. RZA helped with the “Kill Bill” soundtracks. But no Wu-Tang album is a lone MC’s effort. Masta Killa’s record touts tracks from a handful of pro ducers, including a clutch put through by Bobby Digital himself, complete with his trademark B movie samples and Eastern-influ enced backbeats. Grover. |3| Jferpevac 113 Women Ages 18-30 UNC is looking for women between the ages of 18 and 30 with no history of oral or genital herpes to participate in a vaccine study to A prevent herpes. I If you qualify, you will receive free screening tests for herpes and up to S4OO in compensation. ) iRB H MOSICHEVIEW PJ HARVEY UH HUH HER A A A A WKKfT I’d jump for you into the flame/ ■fried to go forward with my life/1 just feel shame, shame, shame.” The tracks on Uh Huh Her range from quiet to quieter, with one noteable exception. “Who the Fuck,” a caustic tune characterized by brash vocals and grunted exple tives, is out of place amid more melodic tunes. Harvey’s anger is appreciated, but be prepared to hit track advance after about 30 seconds. Perhaps the most interesting element of the album is Harvey’s inclusion of two instrumental tracks. One, a brief interlude between the album’s final two songs, is nothing but bird calls. The second, called “The End,” is dedicated to Gallo. Harvey plucks a simple melody on her guitar as a solemn accordion drones in the background. It’s a downer, and even without knowing the track’s origins, it conveys a clear message of sadness. Harvey doesn’t break much new ground with Uh Huh Her, but like her previous works, it’s a road worth traveling. Contact theACSE Editor at artsdesk@unc.ediL MOSICREVIEW MASTA KILLA NO SAID DATE iii No Said Date is a patchy effort, though, evidenced by tracks like the Brock-produced “Grab the Microphone,” which features a near-miss minimal beat over which Killa spits a typical Wu line. “Support it with a physical frame, imperial Asiatic material/ Scratch the serial, smoking him, he gonna need a miracle.” Wait. What? (Kenny G.) Free-association aside, the album’s meat comes from the instrumental end, not the oblique rhymes. Standouts such as the cuts pro duced by Wu-Tang stalwart Mathematics, along with the RZAs work on the title track and “School,” make up for any shortcomings. "fry a line from the latter on for size “Bangin’ on the lunchroom table, I used to spectate/ And watch some of the MC greats/ Throw verses back and forth, I did n’t have the heart to step forth/ I used to take it home to write some of my own.” Masta Killa’s completed the 12- step program to coherent lyrics. Hear that, ODB? Ling-Ling. The Wu-Tang Clan isn’t dead yet, and, for now, Masta Killa does justice to the ’Chamber. Contact the ACSE Editor at artsdesk@unc.edu. 9
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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June 17, 2004, edition 1
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