®lje SaUy (Ear Heel Remake is deliciously different BY ALAN HAYES STAFF WRITER The 1974 film adaptation of Roald Dahl’s novel, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” scared the bejesus out of me. I’m not just talking about the psychedelic boat ride that scared everybody. The whole thing fright ened me the Oompa Loompas, Veruca Salt and Wonka himself. In Gene Wilder’s 1974 portrayal of Willy Wonka, I saw not a kindly, eccentric candy man, but a tootsie roll tyrant who ruled over his Candy Reich with an iron fist and wasn’t afraid to shrink, blueberryize or throw in the garbage the only visi ,tors his factory had seen in years. • Thus, it was not with fond memories of the original film that I approached Tim Burton’s new Edgy author’s latest is sinister but predictable BY JOHN COGGIN ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Chuck Palahniuk has built a career on exposing the insanity of our culture through disgustingly ironic cautionary tales on American commercialism. His new book does more of the same. “Haunted” is a series of short stories, sloppily glued together by a cumbersome narrative about a bunch of wannabe writers who are kidnapped by a crazy old man named Wittier. Responding to an ad offering total seclusion from the outside world for three months, asking only that you, “Gamble a small fraction of your life,” for a chance to create a literary masterpiece, 23 unwitting people are tricked by Wittier (Ha! Wittier, indeed) into an experiment in desperation. He traps them in an old, ornate movie theater and bars them from leaving until they fulfill their prom ise to write. Ostensibly a modern take on “The Canterbury Tales” or “The Decameron,” “Haunted” actually is a meditation on the current state of popular culture. In Palahniuk’s world, 15 minutes of fame have been trimmed down to five-minute segments (if you’re lucky) on morn ing talk shows and an ugly battle for stardom between reality show contestants. The book’s characters become determined to turn their kidnap ping into a salable story, each set on manipulating the drama Cut off a finger? Sabotage the food sup ply? so as to ensure their status as the star of the show. The book’s timely plot is the perfect reflection of a summer in which “Tom Kat” the nickname that’s been given to the new rela tionship between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is a story pre cisely because everyone thinks it’s cm>Lmsst ASTONISHING •MWMMlwiiin- Pfl jMrtMKijr ' MMUoTIifTiMM W U 700.mSAT.SUN. 2:30.4:30 HEARTS A MINDS suhimq 9:15. SAT. StJN 4 30 hot BALLROOM ?lwo,sat-5un200,420 ladies in LAVENDER m sat-sun tio 700, MO. SAT. SUN.WEDS 200.4:20 HEIGHTS 710. MO, SAT-SURWEDS 2.-10,4:J0 PARROTS 7:15.410, SAtSUN.WfDS. m 4.10 iaiUj (Ear MM For Rent •UNIVERSITY COMMONS: 4BR/4BA, W/D, couch, TV, pool, clubhouse, busline. $1,300/month or 5340/ t>edroom. Available June/August. Summer rental 'option. 919-541-6309,919-961 0455. ; VERY NICE, SPACIOUS 2BR/IBA DUPLEX 'on wooded acre lot. Busline. Convenient to UNC. Same size bedrooms with wall-to-wall closets. Living room with ceiling fan. Kitchen with ALL .appliances and dishwasher. W/D hookups with optional W/D. Central heating and AC. Storage and ample parking. S7OQ/month. 933-0983,451 -8140. UNIVERSITY COMMONS 4BR/4BA, W/D, couch, full kitchen, pool, clubhouse. J/D bus lines. $1,500/month or $375/bedroom. Available August. 919-848-1646. >OUR MILES WEST of Carrboro, 3BR/1.58A. Chapel .Hill schools, lots of storage. SBOQ/month. 619-3788. MOVIE EVIEW “CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY" irkirk adaptation of Dahl’s book. I was pleasantly surprised, how ever, to find that Burton’s remake surpasses the original film and will likely exceed many viewers’ expecta tions. The universe Burton created in “Charlie” is one that operates by many rules of reality but is infused with enough magic to allow an audi ence to get lost in its strangeness. At the center of this strange world is Johnny Depp, who turns in a delightfully eccentric perfor mance as Wonka. Much has been made of Depp’s realization of Dahl’s creepy confectioner; many critics fiction, and Janice Dickinson is fighting (and beating) reality-diva Omarosa for screen time on “The Surreal Life 3” by publicly mocking mentally handicapped children. However, Palahniuk exhausts the high concept halfway through the novel. By designating each story as a confession of past sins by some character in the greater narrative, the author encourages the reader to expect each one to take on a distinct personality and to reveal more about the character telling it than why we know them only as the “Duke of Vandals” or the “Lady Baglady.” Instead, in each chapter, we get Palahniuk doing a lot of really good impressions of “Chuck Palahniuk.” Standing alone, each story is cleverly sinister in its observations. But by infusing the reading experi ence with an expectation that each one should add to and develop what we already know, the author waters down the effect of every tale. Contact the A & E Editor at artsdesk@unc.edu. 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WALK TO UNC, quiet neighborhood. $560 basement apartment (separate entry, kitch en, bath), includes utilities, AC. No smok ing/pets, busline, 12 month lease starts August 16. privatehomeOgmail.com. ONE BLOCK FROM campus/Franklin Street Incred ible location. 2BR/1 BA. pets OK, Fenced yard, new carpet. Available August 1 SI,OOO-$l,lOO/month. 105 Stephens Street Drive by first then call Adam, 843-224-2512. 2BR CONDO, 2 miles from campus, busline. Stove, refrigerator, W/D, dishwasher. $72 5/month. 919- SI 0-6972 or inspectionOnc.rr.com. Arts 8 Entertainment have speculated on its basis in real life the creepiness of Michael Jackson. Consider this: The man Depp is portraying is one who has spent the last few decades of his life surrounded by nothing but “little people,” runs a psychotropic candy factory and has had no contact with the outside world for years. One can only imagine the effect this would have on a person’s psyche. The world Wonka inhabits is one that could drive even the sanest of individuals a little batty. This should come as no surprise as every Tim Burton film, from “Beetle Juice” to “Big Fish,” has wrapped the viewer in a vibrant world that exists some where just to the left of reality. Not only is the inside of Wonka’s Receptions have never been this fun BY JOHN COGGIN ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn recently crashed the summer box office with a comedy about two guys who like to crash weddings to pick up girls. While performing the crash of all crashes at the wedding of the daughter of the secretary of the trea sury (sorry for all the “offs), Wilson falls for the bride’s sister (Rachel McAdams). Let the raunchy sex scenes ensue! If this is your mentality going into “Wedding Crashers,” then expect to be disappointed. We are the generation that grew into adulthood on a healthy diet of “American Pies,” and for an audi ence that has seen a suburban father walk in on his teenage son humping a hot apple pie, watching a woman “rub one out” for Vince Vaughn at a packed dinner table might seem a little old hat. While hilariously filmed, that scene in which Isla Fisher giddily massag es Vaughn’s Dockers-clad crotch hardly qualifies as “raunchy” (at least not in the blue states). So, ladies, don’t believe the ads. The movie actually is rather sweet. Endearing, even. Classified Advertising | Sublets | 2BR/2BA for sublease. 08-01-05 until 07-31-06. Chapel Ridge. $1,200/month, indudes utilities. Pool, dubhouse, weight room, parking. Buslines to UNC. 252-492-5040 or 252-430-4270. 2nd Session Sublet!!! 2BR available in 4BR/2.58A house in Ashley Forest for 2nd summer session. s3o(Vmonth. Rooms large enough to share. Furnished kit chen, living room, and dining room. Partially furnished bedrooms, as needed. W/D, cable; dishwasher. On 3 buslines! Email if you have questions or want to see our AWESOME housel ericaleeOemail.unc.edu. 2BR/2BA FULLY FURNISHED utilities included $560/ room/month.W/D, pool, gym, tanning free, buslines tennis basketball, parking. Blair, 910-619-7469. factory an eye-popping experiment in psychedelia (early in the film, Wonka encourages his guests to “try some of my grass”), but even the London shanty that Charlie’s family inhabits just outside the factory gates is subject to the par ticular physics of Burton’s world. The storytelling isn’t always on par with the visuals, but this is not as big a fault as it might be in other, more boring films. Moviegoers might eventually tire of seeing films that emphasize visuals over storytelling, or they might start to pass on Wonka’s grass, but until then the new adap tation should be a popular inter pretation of Dahl’s classic novel. Contact theA&E Editor at artsdesk@unc.edu. MOVIE "WEDDING CRASHERS" irkirk Wilson offers up an outstanding audition for “leading man” status in future Hollywood romcoms, and Vaughn finally finds the role through which he can channel all of his ram bling musing on life, love and rela tionships to hilarious effect. After successful turns in “Mean Girls” and “The Notebook,” McAdams further hints at an impressive range and is the only one to pull off actual acting in “Crashers.” YOU COULD LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE BUT NOBODY WOULD LIKE YOU SIGN A LEASE NOW AND RECEIVE A CALL TODAY 40). . ' With a twenty-four hour (yeah, that’s right, twenty-four hour) computer lab, fitness center, and game room, resort-style swimming pool, sand volleyball court, and basketball court it’s almost like spring break all over again. Why would you want to live anywhere else? NOW PRE-LEASING FOR 2005 . T T Y 43k CALL, CLICK, OR STOP IN 18 & OLDER CAN LEASE ThP \ /1~ | |l|j 5110 OLD CHAPEL HILL ROAD MANAGED BY RAM PARTNERS LLC A * 919-419-0440 WWW.VERGEAPARTMENTS.COM VOTED #1 PLACE TO LIVE BY UNC STUDENTS | Sublets | IBR SUBLET in 2 story, 2BR townhouse. Walking dis tance to campus. On buslines. Available 08-01 -05 through 05-31 -06. $337.50/month + 1/2 utilities. W/D, internet. Two kittens live in apartment current ly. Non-smokers preferred. Roommate is friendly, female, UNC Junior. Contact me with questions, to view the apartment and meet roommate. Carmen cfreynolOemail.unc.edu or 910-620-8233. | Rooms \ FEMALE RENTING TWO LARGE BEDROOMS. Digital cable, Roadrunner, treadmill, pool. 1.5 miles from campus. Furnished. S3OO/month +l/3 utilities each. Contact Megan: mwallaceOemail.unc.edu. FREE RENT in exchange for afterschool care. Spac ious private room, bath & study area (900+ sq/ft). Supervise homework & activities for 6th grade girl. Flexible afternoon/evening hours. Upscale neigh borhood with pool just 4 miles from UNC. Transpor tation, references required. jpbrownOnc.rr.com. JP'’ i|l Ijfcr^R, 'IWn ■BBWBBBBB I COURTESY OF WARNER BROTHERS Charlie (Freddie Highmore) enjoys some plants made of vibrant confec tions during his lucky trip into Willy Wonka's mystical chocolate factory. But, then, this is exactly the way you want it. Vaughn gets to play “Vince Vaughn” (a less insecure and slightly less horny version of his character in “Swingers”), and Wilson gets to play “Owen Wilson” (a slightly less blond version of his character in “Zoolander”). However, if you haven’t seen the making-of specials that have been flooding cable TV for the past two weeks, each giving away all her funniest moments, then you’ll find that it is Fisher who steals the show as Claire’s sister, Gloria. Her guileless, certifiably insane daddy’s girl provides the perfect balance FREE RENT | Rooms I ROOMS FOR RENT, for school year, in house with own bath. Includes full privileges for: kitchen, W/D, living room and basement for storage. 15 minute walk to UNC. Students preferred. See www. joycecares.com or call 919-593-5118. BEAUTIFUL FINLEY FOREST CONDO room for rent! Wood and tile flooring. Full bath, balcony, furnished living room, and kitchen. Extra large W/D. Large downstairs patio. Secluded in woods with pond. Walking distance to buses. Minutes from campus. Utilities include cable, water, power, and wireless internet. $425 rent. AVAILABLE NOW! Call Janelle at 810-2848! Email: hepcatz©yahoo.com. Roommates ROOMMATE WANTED FOR 38R/2.SBA townhome in Chancellors Ridge. Starting anytime AC, W/D, pool, wireless internet. Ideal for graduate/professional student. $425/month +l/2 utilities. Call Dusty 828- 773-3863, carmichaelwdOaol.com. THURSDAY, JULY 21, 2005 to Vaughn’s verging-on-psychotic womanizer. In supporting roles, Christopher Walken and Jane Seymour play Claire’s politico parents. Excepting the scene in which Seymour forc es Wilson’s character to call her “Kittycat,” both actors are under used. They probably had more lines in the original script, but the editors seem to have cropped down their roles in favor of showcasing more of Vaughn and Wilson’s well honed improv skills. Contact theACSE Editor at artsdesk@unc.edu. Roommates ROOMMATE WANTED FOR spacious BR/BA in 3BR/ 3BA townhome. Starting August. Furnished, wireless Internet, W/D, ample parking. Ideal for grad student. $450/mo + 1/3 utilities. alkesh©email.unc.edu. ROOMMATE WANTED to share beautiful 2BR/1 BA duplex: On wooded acre lot, same size bedrooms with wall-to-wall closets, busline. Living room with ceiling fan, kitchen with all appliances & dishwasher. W/D or hookups, central heating & air-conditioning, ample free parking & storage. $350/bedroom. 933-0983 or 451-8140. ROOMMATE WANTED FOR 3BR/2.58A condo. Start August on busline, spacious, pod, tennis, W/D, inter net. Near Meadowmont. $450/mo plus 1/3 utilities. Contact Geoff 919-593-5269. gbelM ©nc.rr.com. CARRBORO/CHAPEL HILL: Spacious 2BR/1.58A. Cable, Roadrunner, electric, maid service. 5550/mo. Minutes away from UNC. Bus service. Downtown and groceries. Call 919-622-5006. 9 (11)1' SttUy (Ear Heel Roommates WALK TO CAMPUS Mature, vegetarian, non-smok ing housemate sought for semi-furnished room in nice older home 4 blocks to UNC. Private phone, other amenities $375/month. 967-9948. HOUSE TO SHARE. Furnished room to rent, non smoker, no pets. Chapel Hill/country setting. Artistic environment quiet wooded neighborhood. Garden space, furnished porch/deck, central air/heating, ceil ing fans, wood stove. 6 miles from Franklin Street. $350/month + deposit, shared electric. Year lease available August 1,2005. Laney: 933-4505. Misc. Wanted WANTED TO BUY: UNC 2005 National Champs Commemorative Coke can. Call 937-692-8441 or 937-423-5246. Recycle Mo Please!