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8 FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 2006 JASON ROSE ROSE POINT BLANK Contact Jason Rose, a first-year graduate student E-MAIL: ROSEJC@EMAIL.UNC.EDU Ballad of the edit page redesign Welcome my children, come sit on the floor, And rest all your eye sies, ’cause eyesies get sore. From all of that reading and thinking and blinking, In pages that leave your hands stinking of inking. Here in the Edit Page, you can relax, In our new, easy, fun page, where brains, we won’t tax. We’ve got lots of pictures and big, easy words, Just sure to deter all those word-reading nerds! So pull up a pillow, curl up on the floor, While I tell you the tale of the Edit Page War. Back in the ages of candles and stages, Before the world Web and 900- line sages, The people were forced, by the dark evil forces, To read in old books (and to ride on old horses!) Stories that dragged on for pages and pages The same boring tales, read for ages and ages. Like long-winded tales, about hunters and whales, And stories of glories on sea faring sails. The newspapers then had fell prey to the Thinkers, Whose over-thought thinkings were killing the Inkers. But what the mad Thinkers did not seem to know, Was the slow-growing power of powerful foes. Called the Glass-Eggers, for all their awards In outstanding service to corpo rate lords, A cubicle army was ready to fight For Thinkerless-news, their American right. And leading the Eggers was a fearless rights-fighter The one-eared white knight, that they called the Sound-biter. And the morn they were ready, at first light of dawn, The Glass Eggers charged on the mean Thinkers lawn. “Your days here are done!” bellowed out the Sound-biter, As he plunged his chart pointer through the heart of a Writer. “No more will we read thought out-thoughts or opinions, You’ll all answer now to our financial minions!” “And the minions have told us your word-covered spaces, Are the place to print ads with celebrity faces.” “And soon, as the readers get used to this look, We’ll phase in the TV and phase out the book!” And from that first day, the Eggers ruled hence, Basing all their decisions on dollars and cents. And the Sound-biter rose to be king of the state, And was hailed by the Eggers, Sound-biter the Great! And he soothed all the people by banning thoughts thicker Than those that could fit on a cute bumper sticker. And that is the story how it all came to be, That the Edit Page now can be read from age 3. For the Eggers have told us, and they’re always right, “Less words and more pictures make people delight! And when people delight in those less-wordy spaces, Our bar graphs will grow tall in all the right places!” So before you doze off, to dream candy-cane dreams, Give thanks to the Eggers, for how simple life seems. And that you’ll never have to fear Thinkers or Writers, Or crazy outsiders whose sights are inciters. And know, like good shepherds, they’ll think for their sheep, So your eyesies and brainsies can drift off to sleep. :DITORIAL CARTOON By Mason Phillips, mphil@email.unc.edu TO TEAR THIS f NO/ YOU CAN'T. 1 \ VHOUSE DOm/ r-ATTS KINO OF OLD ij LACKLUSTER CHOICE While not a bad pick, there are better senior speakers The senior class has wait ed with bated breath for months to learn the name of the speaker and per formers who will grace Senior Celebration. After staying mum all year, Senior Class Officers Bobby Whisnant and Jenny Peddycord finally have announced that Jasmine Guy will be the featured speaker for the class of 2006. Not to discount Guy as a poten tially dynamic speaker, but her selection begs one very important question: Who? Guy has long performed JASMINE GUY Her start: Dancer on the TV series “Fame" in 1982. Claim to fame: Role of - Gilbert Wayne on the early '9os series "A Different World," which followed several students at a historically black college. Most recent acting: Roxy Harvey on the 2004 season of "Dead Like Me." Other work: authored the biography of Tupac Shakur's mother, "Evolution of a Revolutionary." Register to vote today Today marks the deadline for voters to register Today is the day. If you’re still not reg istered to vote, you have until 5 p.m. today to get to Davis Library, fill out a voter registration form and run it over to the Orange County Board of Elections. If you don’t make that easy trip or an easier one to the World Wide Web —then you REGISTER TO VOTE Where to get a form: Chapel Hill or Carrboro town halls or public libraries. Or download the form online at www.sboe. state.nc.us/pdf/formo6.pdf. Take it to: Orange County Board of Elections 110 E. King St. Hillsborough, N.C. 27278 Deadline: Today by 5 p.m. What are you waiting for? Winning combination Selling alcohol could increase revenue for the University Booze and golf might be coming together at UNC grab your clubs and line up a designated driver. University officials are con sidering selling beer at Finley Golf Course UNC’s very own golf facility so that it can be more competitive with other golf courses in the area. The Finley grounds have been seeing fewer and fewer visitors since it was renovated beer might bring back the swingers. And while we’re at it, there’s another UNC facility that could benefit from being allowed to sell beer our veiy own campus. Yes, reader, we want to walk into any Student Stores loca tion and be able to pick up a blue book and some Pabst Blue Ribbon or, you know, a beer Opinion on television, stage and in the movies and even has written a book. An impressive resume, but for most seniors, the last they saw of Guy if they’re familiar with her work at all was as Whitley Gilbert Wayne on the 1980s television series “A Different World,” which ended when the majority of seniors were only about 10 years old. Guy isn’t a bad choice for the Senior Class Address, and most likely the speech will be engaging, but with options such as Danny Glover, Maya Angelou, Lance Armstrong and purported back-up and Tar Heel demigod Dean Smith on the table, the final selection is disappointing for many folks. In his statement Wednesday to The Daily Tar Heel, Whisnant claims that most students can relate to “A Different World.” “Even if we didn’t grow up watching the show, a majority of students know what it is and can put a name with a face.” This is a bold hyperbole con sidering that there is no way to know with whom or what most students could identify or that most would be familiar with an actress from a television show 13 years removed. won’t be allowed to vote in pri maries. Voting is easy painfully easy. After you register at Davis Library, you can go to the Morehead Planetarium and Science Center between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on April 24 through April 28 or between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m. on April 29 —and cast your primary vote. Then, in late October, you’ll already be registered and can just go vote again in the gen eral election whenever you get some free time. We’ll let you know when those dates are when they start approaching. When you register —and this is important for primary voters —be sure to identify yourself as either a Democrat or a Republican. Even if you don’t agree with either of the two major parties, it’s still important to register with that actually tastes good. We understand that some of our more socially conserva tive colleagues might not like increasing Tar Heel access to sweet, sweet hops and barley. But there are adults on campus who can drink if they choose to, and it is time to con sider letting those 21-year-olds buy their beverages of choice. There are also quite a few alumni who might enjoy knocking down a few cold ones as Wes Miller knocks down 3s in the Smith Center. We’re sure the now-sterile sports “bar” at Rams Head would benefit. It is also time to start con sidering letting Student Stores cash in from the sales, too. There is some safety-con scious thinking to our mad Whisnant also defended the choice, saying that Guy appeals to a broader audience than did Mo Rocca last year’s senior speaker. Guy cer tainly might appeal to a dif ferent audience than Rocca, but it’s dubious that she will appeal to a larger base of col lege seniors. To crunch the numbers: Guy’s most remembered role was in 1993; Rocca’s was in 2003. Breadth doesn’t hold as a legitimate justification. While Guy might in fact be an amazing speaker, the jus tification for her selection is weak at best. Variety in speaker selection should be promoted, but there should be other fac tors under consideration when choosing someone who will appeal to several thousand graduating seniors. The whole reason we need a Senior Address speaker is because Commencement speakers don’t often reflect the interests or desires of the senior class. It’s just a further waste of money if the senior class speaker becomes a reflection of Commencement we hope next year’s officers do better. one. North Carolina is a closed-pri mary state, meaning only regis tered party members are allowed to vote in primaries; anyone who registers as an independent is denied the right to vote for a primary candidate. Regardless of who you intend to vote for in the general election, there’s no reason to let the parties take away your right to have a say in who ends up on that ballot We would love to have an open primary system such as South Carolina’s, where regis tered independent and unaf filiated voters can vote in any primary, but that’s not in the cards for this election. Don’t let yourself be disenfranchised. If you’re not registered, go to Davis Library. Now. Not later. Now. Put the XBox controller down, and take part in democ racy. You’ll thank us later. ness: Beer on campus means no need for drunken beer runs, either by car or foot. We are not expecting swift action on this initiative we understand some people might not be ready for Coors on our campus. And there will be legitimate safety and legal concerns to account for, as well as the logis tics of the affair. But as frosty, cold drinks start popping up for on our golf course, we ought to think about letting them show up at campus concession stands. There is money to be made from sales, alumni will enjoy it, and students will be first in line to crack open. At UNC we are ready to drink and learn responsibly. QUOTE OF THE DAY: “I love Bill Ny e. Vve seen his videos , and they pretty much rock” PINAR GUREL, FRESHMAN, ON BILL NYE "THE SCIENCE GUY'S" UPCOMING VISIT TO UNC CAMPUS LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Due to space constants, letters are sometimes cut. Read the full-lenth versions online at the letters blog, or post your own response to a letter. VISIT// apps.dailytarheel.com/wpblogs/archives/category/letters Allred is excited and ready to serve the student body TO THE EDITOR: I am very excited to be inau gurated and to begin addressing the issues that affect us as a stu dent body. First, I want to thank the stu dent body for their ideas and sup port over the past month as I have been preparing to take office. Second, I want to commend Seth Dearmin and his adminis tration for their dedication and hard work over the past year, and I hope to continue building on his successes. I am enthusiastic about the upcoming year. We will make positive changes at UNC and pursue our mission to become the top public university by vir tue of our service to students. I will work hard on my plat form every minute of next year, and I look forward to working with the student body to help accomplish each of these goals. While the next year is going to be a busy time for me, never hesitate to stop me when you see me and voice your opinions to me I am here to serve the student body and can only do that by con stantly soliciting your input. Thank you so much for your support, and I look forward to serving the student body over the next year. James Allred, Student body president Dance team shouldn't take a backseat to cheerleading TO THE EDITOR: I am writing in response to Tuesday’s article about the UNC cheerleading team’s trip to nationals. I think the article very well represented the cheerlead ers efforts but neglected to men tion the UNC Dance Team. The dance team is an integral part of the Carolina Spirit pro gram and has also worked very hard to prepare for their national competition. Last year the dance team placed third in the nation, beat ing all North Carolina and ACC teams, and is currently ranked third after sending in a prelimi nary video. The team has a very good chance at taking home the title this year. Many people are unaware of everything the dance team does, as they are unable to showcase all of their talents at games. Monday night’s show case included performances by both the cheerleaders and dance team, who both should do well at nationals this year. Lindsay Williamson Class of’os Self-segregation should be allowed if it is so desired TO THE EDITOR: I would like to respond to John Brian Heath’s letter on April 3 responding to my earlier letter. When you repent, believe in Jesus Christ, are baptized and receive God’s Holy Spirit, you are then placed in the body of Christ and become a spiritual Israelite. But you cannot come in as you are. God does not support multi culturalism. You must accept the laws and standards that God has set forth in the Bible and forsake your own ways and traditions. You then become heirs to all the promises that God made to Abraham and also the promise of SPEAK OUT WRITING GUIDELINES: > Please type: hand-written letters will not be accepted. > Sign and date: no more than two people should sign letters. > Students: include your year, major and phone number. > Faculty/staff: include your department and phone number. > Edit: the DTH edits for space, clarity, accuracy and vulgarity. SUBMISSION: > Drop-off: at our office at Suite 2409 in the Student Union. > E-mail: to editdesk@unc.edu. > Send: to P.O. Box 3257, Chapel Hill, N.C., 27515. EDITOR’S NOTE: Editorials are the opinions solely of The Daily Tar Heel editorial board. The board consists of five board members, the associate opinion editor, the opinion edi tor and the DTH editor. The 2005-06 DTH editor decided not to vote on the board. laiUj (Bar MM eternal life as a member of God’s family. In other words, Gentiles must be become Israelites, whereas natural-bom Israelites are God’s chosen people but can lose their reward by rejecting it. The founder of the church Heath was referring to preached geographical segregation and forbade interracial marriage in the church. Now I was not saying there should be forced segregation by all, but rather if any group of people, white, black, Asian, etc., who feel they need to separate and preserve their culture and race, then they should be allowed to do so without persecution. If others want to mix, let them also do so without persecution. Freedom for all beliefs. Don Wheatley Class of ’74 Both speakers for class of 'O6 are a waste of money TO THE EDITOR: Concerning the senior speak er, I'm quite disappointed that the senior class is throwing away SIO,OOO for Jasmine Guy, an alleged celebrity. I thought listening to yet anoth er stuck-in-fantasy-land liberal like Wendy Kopp at Commencement would be bad enough. How can we possibly rectify this situation and make our grad uation at least fun and memora ble, yet get something out of it? Well, it is quite simple. Let’s take speaking fees and buy scratch-and-win tickets. That way we can all try to get something out of it and help edu cation much more than Teach for America ever could. Joshua S. Davis Senior Chemistry Steady hand in Student Congress *4 CHECK PLUS The re-election of Luke Farley to the position of Speaker of Student Congress will make for a smooth transition into this year’s Congress. Farley also will be able to continue improving the body’s transparency and efficiency. Democrats call for Black to resign CHECK / N.C. Democrats are telling House Speaker Jim Black, D- Mecklenburg, to step down. But it shouldn’t have had to come to this. Rooting out cor ruption requires corruption to exist in the first place. The fieiy wrath of Mother Nature CHECK MINUS S- Compared with last year, brush fires in our immediate vicinity are way up —as in twice as many. So be careful when putting out those cigarette butts or play ing with matches. Sljp Saihj (Bar Hppl Established 1893, 113 years of editorialfreedom RYAN C. TUCK EDITOR, 962-4086 RCTUCK@EMAIL.UNC.EDU OFFICE HOURS: MON., WEDS., FRI. 2-3 P.M. CHRIS CAMERON OPINION EDITOR, 962-0750 CCAMERONOUNC.EDU JOSEPH STARNES ASSOCIATE OPINION EDITOR, 962-0750 STARNESJOUNC.EDU ELIZABETH GREGORY PUBLIC EDITOR. (919) 612-6020 ELIZAGREOEMAIL.UNC.EDU EDIT BOARD MEMBERS JESSICA SCISM JEFF SMITH SCOTT SPILLMAN JORDAN STONE LAURA YOUNGS
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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April 7, 2006, edition 1
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