10
FRIDAY, AUGUST 29, 2008
Imlg Slar Mnl
Established 1893,
115 years
of editorial freedom
ANDREA LUDTKE
THE BLUNT BLONDE
Sophomore journalism major from
Weston, Fla.
E-MAIL ANDREALB@EMAIL.UNC.EDU
Stop the
green, go
out with
a bang
ii T"'l at it.”
H “What?”
JL J “A bunny might
come along and choke on it.
L.N.T. leave no trace.”
“But it’s a peanut. Don’t they
grow in the ground anyway?”
“Still.”
I watched in
AT-LARGE horror as the
COLUMNIST counselor situ
ated himself on
the ground and ate the last of my
clumsy trail mix consumption.
“Not in North Carolina!” you
gasp.
No, not yet, but the threat
is imminent. In the Princeton
Review’s recent Green Ratings
report, UNC scored 96 of 99 pos
sible points. This is the highest of
any rated university in the state!
Time is running out, my
friends. We must act now to save
our school from this hookah
centered dogma.
Should we fail in our mission,
we’ll erode into the skeleton of
normalcy like the last school,
Williams College: the backdrop for
many an environmental crime.
What’s happening, you ask?
Well, a long time ago the ’Bos
to be exact (ask a wrinkly person)
America snuffed out the peace
pipes of the hippies and confined
them to the greenest patch of
land they’d never want to leave
Vermont.
They danced barefoot in hand
holding rings with their leaders
Ben and Jerry and hugged trees
in utter bliss all day long.
Well, apparently there’s a hole
in the fence up there and the hip
pies are hugging their way South.
I was fooled when I arrived.
Seemingly normal youth roamed
campus. But the greatest disguises
conceal the greatest deception.
Hippies no longer sport love
beads and tie dye or wave the
peace sign in the air to signify
their kind. No, their signs are
more subtle an unshaven leg,
a reusable shopping bag, a hobby
of flower pressing.
They abound at Williams, and
their tyranny places the peanut
brained fur balls over the quality of
human life. It has got to stop.
That horror story was just one
puff of hookah I had to inhale in
my time there. There were the
reusable cups I had to lug around
and wash all day, the reus
able lunch bags that are hardly
designed to fit inside a Coach
mini, and the glares I got while
trying to stuff my cardboard in
with the regular trash.
Now Carolina isn’t yet a claimed
territory of the Jerry Garcia dis
ciples, but the green ratings show
we’re being invaded. It’s just a
matter of time before underwear
and razors are a thing of the past,
and yellow is allowed to mellow.
When will the madness end?
Soon, they’ll be cutting down my
45-minute shower twice a day to
30 minutes. Looking this good
can’t be rushed.
Sure, we need water, but when
it’s gone it’s gone. Why prolong the
inevitable downfall of mankind?
Plus, the infallible law of natu
ral selection dictates that only the
strongest will survive. Ipso facto,
if the other animals and plants
aren’t smart enough to provide
for themselves, we humans are
really just being enablers by giv
ing them free handouts. I think
President Reagan would side
with me on this one.
Do we really want future gen
erations to be bound by the same
unlivable level of discomfort,
unhappiness and inconvenience
that we have to live with? Of
course not
It would be much more
humane of us to just deplete our
resources and let the human
race go out with a bang as nature
intended. Fat and happy.
ALUSON NICHOLS
EDITOR, 962-4086
NALUSON@EMAILUNC.EDU
OFFICE HOURS:
MON., WED. 2-3 P.M.
ERIC JOHNSON
PUBLIC EDITOR
ERIOOHNSONOUNC.EDU
EDITORIAL CARTOON By Alex Herrington, achcttsl ©email.unc.edu
South Building fortified
Barring DTH reporters from Chancellors retreat
erects wall between students, administration
UNC administrators
shrugged off calls for
transparency after
barring DTH reporters from
the chancellor’s retreat at the
Carolina Inn yesterday.
This contradicts the flagship
message of open accessibility
promoted by Chancellor Holden
Thorp early in the semester.
According to N.C. Open
Meetings Law, an appointed
body with advisory functions
falls under guidelines for
“meetings of public bodies,” as
detailed in Article 33 Section C
of N.C. Legislation Statutes.
The open meetings law does
not apply to meetings consisting
exclusively of professional staff.
The law leaves ambiguous
how “staff” is defined. For the
past 12 years, the University has
been operating under a non
binding agreement it reached
with the N.C. Press Association
A huge pot of money
The Association of Student Governments needs to
find a way to use its funds to help students
One dollar.
That doesn’t sound
like a lot of money. You
probably have several times that
amount in change under the
seat of your car or in the pockets
of the jeans littering your bed
room floor or rattling around
the bottom of your purse.
But take that dollar and
multiply it by 199,000 and
now we’re talking some seri
ous change.
That’s about how much
money the Association of
Student Governments rakes in
every year in student fees sl
from every student at the 16
universities in the system.
The ASG is a nonpartisan
organization comprising stu
dent leaders from the 16 UNC
The four-month plan
Directors early resignation could slow progress on
10-year poverty reduction plan
The bqld proposal to end
homelessness in Orange
County appears a little
more bold.
After less than five months
on the job, the first coordina
tor of the county wide 10 Year
Plan to End Homelessness has
resigned.
The plan is an ambitious
proposal to eradicate chron
ic homelessness in Orange
County by 2018 and was over
seen by coordinator Carson
Dean. He stepped down from
his position this month, and he
will soon become the executive
director of a homeless shelter in
Uptown Charlotte.
The abrupt change in lead
ership gives the appearance of
a lack of commitment to end
Opinion
AISHASAAD
OPINION EDITOR. 962-0750
SAADOUNC.EDU
DAVID GIAN CAS PRO
ASSOCIATE OPINION EDITOR, 962-0750
6IANCASPOUNC.EDU 1
to avoid lawsuits.
According to that agree
ment, the definition of staff is
a committee consisting only of
administrative officers vice
chancellors, deans, department
chairs, for example.
But Wednesday’s meeting
included University adminis
trators, deans and town leaders
including Chapel Hill mayor
Kevin Foy and Carrboro Mayor
Mark Chilton.
UNC even violated the non
legally binding 1996 agreement
by excluding reporters from the
sessions with town officials.
N.C. open meetings law is
open to interpretation and rel
evant case precedent is murky.
But one thing is crystal dear:
Just because a meeting legally
can be closed does not mean
that it has to be or should be.
Thorp has repeatedly pro
moted jm open and accessible
campuses and charged with
advocating for students.
In other words, using your
dollar to advance your interests.
Come to think of it, you could
probably figure out a lot of ways
to spend a dollar. One hour of
parking on South Road. One
load of laundry. Four handfuls
of chocolate-covered coffee
beans at the Daily Grind.
We’re not against student
fees. We just want to make sure
that we get as much utility out
of them as we would out of hav
ing clean clothes for a week.
The ASG has struggled in
the past with allocating its
immense budget in a way that
benefits students at all its con
stituent universities.
It has also struggled with
ing homelessness at the high
est levels of this initiative. The
absence of a coordinator could
significantly hamper the efforts
to implement this already unre
alistic and arduous plan.
It would be surprising to
have anew coordinator this
year, but it would be even more
stunning if the plan was still on
track for completion in 2018.
While Dean said his decision
to resign had “nothing to do
with the work here in Orange
County,” this change in leader
ship is nonetheless disappoint
ing for residents here.
The time seemed right to
address the issue of homeless
ness in our community. Even
with an estimated cost of $1.5
to $2 million dollars per year,
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
USAANDRUKONIS
YANIV BARZILAI
BEN BUCK
HARRISON JOBE
GREG MARGOLIS
ANDREW STILES
SARAH WHITWORTH
administration, telling The
Daily Tar Heel in an inter
view earlier this month that
“we don’t have a fortress built
around South Building.”
But the administration’s
exclusive decision is doing
just that by reinforcing an
informed elite that students
cannot access. This attitude
runs the risk of constructing a
wall more impenetrable than
brick and mortar.
The Daily Tar Heel prides
itself on being a layer of perme
ability between decision-makers
and the public and should have
access to report on publicly
discussed policies that directly
concern its readership.
This is a public university, run
by public officials, serving the
public community. Accordingly,
the meetings and decisions that
shape its direction and mission
also must be public.
in-fighting among representa
tives from different universi
ties, General Administration
threats of greater oversight
and a president being forced
to resign after being convicted
with criminal assault.
We feel confident that some
of those problems won’t repeat
this year and guardedly opti
mistic that all can be resolved
and put firmly in the past.
As the ASG embarks on
what has the potential to be
a building year, we hope that
it will not only structure itself
into a responsible, organized
representative body but that it
will also develop a clearer set
of funding priorities that are
responsive to students.
Because it is your dollar.
Orange County was finally
ready to focus its efforts and
put an end to homelessness.
Dean is leaving Orange
County at a precarious
time. A recent report by the
N.C. Employment Security
Commission found the unem
ployment level to be 5.1 per
cent, the highest in 18 years.
A daytime stroll down
Franklin Street reinforces the
picture that the numbers paint:
homelessness is still prevalent
in our community.
Fortunately, the motivation
and resources to end homeless
ness are now readily available.
The context for ending
homelessness is here. Now, all
that is needed is the leader
ship.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“It’s been mediocre for so long that
looking excellent isn’t that hard”
GREG DOUCETTE, PRESIDENT OF THE ASSOCIATION OF
STUDENT GOVERNMENTS, ON THE ASG
FEATURED ONLINE READER COMMENT:
“Shouldn’t we be asking the two
candidates why they knowingly
broke two big rules? ... Especially
because the reporter contacted a
third candidate and he/she knew
better than to accept an interview”
ON DTH WRITERS NEED TO READ UP ON ELECTION PROTOCOL
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Career fairs cater to wide
range of UNC students
TO THE EDITOR:
This month, University Career
Services will host two of its larg
est career fairs: The Diversity
Career Fair on Sept. 17 and the
Fall Career Expo on Sept. 18.
These events attract hundreds
of employers who recruit Carolina
students for positions in nonprof
it, government, and business-re
lated sectors. Though the career
fairs are widely publicized, many
students still don’t attend.
Some common myths that
plague students’ attendance
include: the career fairs are just
for business students, there are
no jobs there that interest me,
the fairs are just for seniors, I
must have a resume, underclass
men aren’t welcome, employers
aren’t interested in my major,
and so on.
Asa career services profes
sional, it’s frustrating to see so
many misinformed students miss
out on great opportunities.
The vast majority of employ
ers at the career fairs are open
to all majors they’re looking
for bright, talented, motivated
Carolina students, regardless of
major. These events aren’t just
for seniors underclassmen and
undecided students need to learn
about future career options and
internship opportunities.
Our employers spend time,
money and energy to come to
campus because they want to meet
the best that Carolina has to offer.
One way to ensure that they come
back next year is to provide them
with a great student turnout this
year! For information, please visit
careers.unc.edu or call to make an
appointment with a counselor.
JeffSackaroff
Associate Director
University Career Services
RHA aims to serve, make
housing feel like home
TO THE EDITOR:
The Residence Hall
Association’s chief mission is to
serve our on-campus residents in
ways that, ideally stated, should
make housing feel like home.
This year, we would like to
implement a revamped enhance
ments system for all community
members, develop more stream
lined transitions and defined
roles for each executive board
member, and to thoroughly plan
and execute a highly attended
RHA week by this semester’s end.
We also look forward to working
with the Board of Governors to
continue approving and fund
ing exciting new and educational
programs for students.
We want to excite students so
they consider taking active lead
ership roles in their respective
community governments. Asa
student-run body that represents
our residents’ voices on campus,
we are truly excited at the pros
pects this year brings us and to
become the household name in
making your dormitory, apart
ment or community your home.
Ryan Spears
Residence Hall Association
External Affairs
SPEAK OUT
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EDITOR'S NOTE: Columns, cartoons and letters do not necessarily represent the opinions
of The Daily Tar Heel or its staff. Editorials reflect the opinions of The Daily Tar Heel edito
rial board. The board consists of seven board members, the associate opinion editor, the
opinion editor and the editor.
Qlf?? Saily (Ear 3i??l
Kvetching board
kvetch:
v.l (Yiddish) to complain
They should make the ability to
grease a waffle iron a criterion
for UNC admittance... thanks
to the freshman that ruined my
breakfast.
To the freshman who asked if
Martin Luther was still alive in
World War II: He died in 1546, a
fact you should have considered
before signing up for a 200-
level history course.
To the girt who popped a squat
on Franklin Street and peed on
the curb: Next time, make sure
. you're not relieving yourself in
front of a bus full of people.
Maybe I would have sent in
few kvetches to fill out the
board last week if you hadn't
rejected ALL of mine from last
year. Thanks, DTH.
Dear UNC male with hairy legs
and Crocs: Can you please
refrain from using the women's
bathroom in Davis?
Hey, moron. Next time make
sure you're in the right place
before you crawl across 15
students to plop yourself la the
middle of the row 30 minutes
into class.
Town of Chapel Hill: H&w can
I take advantage of the bus
system when the damn A bus
drives by me every time!?!?
To my lovely roommate: Your par
ents and your boyfriend's parents
are paying huge housing fees
for each of you to have a room!
There's no reason why both of
you should insist on making use
of only ONE twin bed.
Those who walk around campus
covering just one person with a
huge golf umbrella: Don't look
surprised when I punch you in
the back of the head. It's what
you're asking for.
Dear Subway, thanks for run
ning out of banana peppers. You
ruined my sandwich and my day.
The college football season
kicks off on Thursday and die
only sports related article is
about practice dummies for the
soccer team. Does the DTH
even have a sports editor?
Could the chemistry lab build
ings look any scarier? As if die
actual chemistry classes weren't
scary enough...
If you're sitting in the front row
of lecture, you don't have to
nod every time you agree with
the professor. You're about to
bobble your head off.
Dear girl in psych, class: Next
time you hiccup for 20 minutes
during a lecture, even after
someone buys bottled water for
you, take a hint LEAVE CLASS!
SPH Grad Students: Stop trying
to impress everyone with your
acronym organizations and sto
ries of personal glory in the Third
World. We've heard it alt before.
Dude in the giant gas-powered
shopping cart Do we really
need another motor vehicle that
close to the Pit?
Send your one-to-two
sentence entries to edit
desk9unc.edu, subject
line'kvetch.'
department and phone number.
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clarity, accuracy and vulgarity.
Limit letters to 250 words.
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