Newspapers / The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, … / Nov. 15, 1888, edition 1 / Page 1
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PITTSBORO, N. C, THURSDAY NOVEMBER 15, 1888. NO. 43 "IT . il St I lIK HOME. j l m iiiTrtnft a w t m m - -wt ti KVEKX lUUKSUAi 41 -ina. T i I : I I jrricE, as mLumuuo strbkt.i I:IUIT, Editor & VrcirletorJ One Soilrtr per year la advance, , J" 'Btrfctly id j advance ; crnf pe OF huh CKiPTIort. BATF.M nV VlVKltTI!'lN(J time l 41. ! iw PS1 tiaoaro I 1 .J rintrflClB i v- rfttes cifief tjitne andPace t KPfcCfAJjRULEH T!ditorB are Hot responsible' ior and $1.00 2.H) ! coo! i 7 .a) A 12,00 for any ij not be oriderstood asl endorsing the w i of jrpntributors to the; 'columns of MUM ril u... . - - - T - W l"..i L.i;i'ncf fh liamaa of tfiontribniora if ?' ?Li J lite d'jemed proper! INd communi nnied bv the name 'of a re- 'fjible I rtrty.! No indecorous! personali-1 'r "jii be published. . Obituary! notices to j aumiiiea in excess of this number.; Con- BEFORE THE FROST. ,,v' ;. linn l1' "7 'Li .,.nnbr1 fnl Witfta ion nntv A little heaven below of bloomj jl bis garden spot of ours. : Its sweet-peas' winged host; Jts pure. jWhite-robed alyssnm flowers; Its shining host of marigoldsj,' ;k. jEach one with gleaming crown; Its purple cloud of heliotrope!. '' f ! feweet incense shedding down: Blue, golden, crimson, not one has Pf rainbow glory lost, 'Tyros never half so fair before, . knd now, itb-night, the Frost! -Ml - - ' L v. M i H(jwjpath the winter was to'go ! tlow laggard was the spring! HAw slow the: seed; from out the ground I he first green leaf to bring! w long thej folded buds delayed ; i"o show the hidden flowers! i i . we've watched it with what patient care, ; This garden; plot of ours! j t Aridnow. when all this wealth of bloom : Repays the pains it cost ('TIs Life's old story told again) To-night wil come the Frost Marian Douylas, iri Bazar .;KntorfB .iieof the he toretoff 4 u n blooded ( (he office ordered a itmatiuseriptsi We do not nrbm- i ejected mannsenpts. Address 'THE l-HlfUE," i Plttsbofo. N. 0. all the nothings that accompany young womanhood." ";:'" j ' ! "'; V P ' .,1 i ; 4 , One day Bee came rushins into onr chamber with a newspaper, Her eyes wete bright and her cheeks scarlet. : ; "U Dee," she began, " ust listen! J found this among the 'personals' : L ' A young man of high culture desires a correspondence with a young lady of the most elevated ideas, purely with a view to intellectual development. Plainfield.' " ! Address E. R, "Whq is he?" I asked, stupidly., "Who: is he? He's a Great Unknown! He's a poor fellow who is 'nst as bored and unhappy as we are. ; We must an swer it." . ? - it" : . : X ' I I wish I could say I tried to dissuade her, but; the truth is thatI seized upon the idea as an excellent one. j I had heard of the vulgarity of 1 'personals," but. this was so elegantly! worded! Bee caught that thought, i as it -was passing through my mind., J i . ... j P'du pee1 he's a real gjntlejnanishe smjn(, S1fi mricolw ' ' VntVllMfr in it oKmit Ifnn' f ..'- hesitating, as if the English language had not words enough to, t describe him adequately. He had on a hright b'ue tie arid his hair was r-black 1 with oil and he wasn't quite clean H .:' , ' Meanwhile mamma was quietly open ing the letteri 'r : f: . ' i 3Ieiet me at the upper end of !the Common at five o'clock to-morrow," she read,"" for 111 know the reason why." Then she considered and ; we cried. Finally she said, "I needn't tell you what I think- of 1. your conduct; you probably estimate it correct' y, now that you see its results, v But if .l-ant to help you out of your trouble, -you; must do exactly as I tell you. . "fiit ty,! shall see your father, and explain yur s de of the affair ; being a cat's-paw, -y (Su're not quite as bad as the others. Hofc .don't leave, this room till I come back." ; 1 "Oh,, the miserable afternoon we spent there ! But at six in came tnapuna, flushed but BEE AND DEE. BY That tliilnfl;ans caph wealth'1! I colon Vi in T 1 iindat)t!y proved ifornia Indian, of the Klko Indq Upply of visitin Wis were christened Beatrice civiliza- by a full-- ;who called at Icjident and caj ds. i othy and Dor- hut with' what great aunt calls the A "(hrtst'an Temp s obtained irltjish mpters contract, in1 of hcah ftniit!p4 ' At or off to n L n'nnt MllClh caunipg fro fruit farm luildin'j rante a location i o i am ma return Mr Of fimiiilies,! tq The ( hitiee in ( a'ifornia are endeav su Cpmmon- for a Its pro- the labor port i the naughtiest puts most! Id off the movent ajpiickinS house at belna. with jjoys t, by le at 1 rcsno a-ting n in Wkin erous 1 v t to Sup- and nine arge are also An undc in an navci Duraler of living witlj pad the fii bnci. and i days hswi altera' : 1 . 1 craen debtor's CrescoL Iowa, states that lie has a large who, , thbuphmow have not their first in sixty ttieif seconq wives, tvcral e'pensesJ of they do not do so jl publish the ir jnatnes. Seventy Per centj of Ihej jcri inois iitroit wavs are u no f(lr','' initial I in iucutcd ra w to vr.t inkkjd with unable to write. butiignQra cr'me. ! Th ..i L i. . rs- it crnrunaH am I Ci.ti Ln t th'o Ias-aihusc ts cn andS li. . i omen, minals of asserts i the ace is not ere would not know mcs fiom by well "horrible assertivehess of American chil dren!' we hastened to rename ourselves as soon as we ikould speak. V.ee savs one if us ought tell the story of the time in our lives. Or. as she it, being fond af long , words, "its jcritical (period." She adds;! that my pen is as ready as her tongue, and that where the! One failsthe otherishall dictate. , So let us begin, j j i One day, when we were about fourteen Be 3 and I are twns we had a partic ularly hilarious; time at school. ! As jour dearnlother had died iwhen we were babies, and j papa was too much occupied in ponng over bugs and butter flies to know what ! we ,were about, we aia qozens ot tmnfjshich other more fortunate girls would never attcnipt. 4. j I ''. j Juit at this time,! we were with a desire toibetMou?ht vaiinsr ladies: so Beie, who is clever with the! needle, had rjieced down our dressei, under the overskirts, until they swept the floor. We had "done" our hair; high, and tied on sotne old earrings, and when we ap peared at school the girls, awed and admii ing, declared -we looked "lovely and tjwenty-five at least." v I j Th'! teachers smiled in a way that made me a tritie uncomfortable, and at recess I heard Miss i aston say to Miss iPray: ! "i oor things! they certainly do 'show the effect of their training or j rathei' of the lack f it. bhalj you speak ; to inqm aoom tnisr ! ."Xo. You have heard about their father's'? her or 'liirtation.' All he wants is to be in tellectual." ' . ' ! . . , "And j we'll answer it together, and make; up a name of our initials. B. D. - Bella unn! But how shall we get the letters?"- . . " j . " J - , ! ! "Whyfwe can tell Kitty Fisher." (She was the postmaster's daughter.)' l"You know she .often distributes the mail. : , ' j ' j I So we concocted an answer, a very short and. dignified one. In reply came a long epistle full of quotations fiom 'iFmerson, j and confidences Jrom "E. R.." !He was misunderstood byievery one. he paid, and! no orte could guess his joy at finding Miss Dunn willing to smooth his dark pathway by pouring upon it a flood jof intellectual light. I couldn't help thinking Miss Gaston would have called that a mixed metaphor. I ! He could see from her note that she was a person of the highest cultivation. Would she kindly tell him, In her' next, if she enjoyed Milton, and what she "iner.e, gins,.v sne sac.a, "he s gomgi on the (i.iJO traiD. and I. don't believe) ki, i "Oh. what did vnn drt"' ! "Well, I went first :h i thought 'of Wordsworth, and who was r- i her 1 have dared quite! wild "I be you persuade him:' TBE MERRY SIDE 0F1IFE: STOmES THAT ABE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OI" THE FBESS. Chicago girl's foot, hair in the soup, the mother-in-law Brine some water. onicV. somebody! He has fainted I" Chicago Tribune. Preciselr-A Matrimonial Reason -A True Man A Violent Eiid Imml nent-The Fatal NamberHio. Fishes are weighed in the scales, And an e'.ephant packs hU own trunk; But ra.s never teU their own tales. And one B3Nlom get chink ia a chunk. Does seldom wear taeir own pants. Which fact lays ibem open ta scorn. No-nephew or niece Tan ies auts, i And a cow never blows its own horn. 'A cat cannot parse its own claws; No porcupina nibs its own uuill: Though orpt an bea still have their paws, a bird wai not pay U own bill. Sick ducks never go to a quack; A horse cannot p ow it own mane; A ship is not hurt by a tack, ' And a window n;r suffers from pane. , - San. Francisco Examiner. An Idjl of the Bob-Tall. He was dressed in a new suit of fault less fit, and ho was the only man in the bob-tall car. 1 his cave him an excel lent opportunity to . show off a fine diamond ring he wore. At last he gave up his nrst seat to a lady and then posed lor a further bencat on the outside plat form. . But fate, in the shape of a woman. pursued him. The woman to whom he had surrendered his (.ood seat reached the end of ber route. Singling him out with her index fi.'ger she called sternly: 'C-o-n-auctor, stop the car. Daroil trrt Fteu. An exchwgo say in WiBConsl ear o d, iteceives the frcnani are of thei; ; I ute in 1 Inn, the or ignorau n and T ! "EvMy newspaper Minnesota $106 10 Union won pu!d!haye (e regard ing th oyer oae for publishing i r i . . r eafcn Jjesisia- 1 1 lost sweet ! one. I her." 'Who is Emily?' walkqd home the lolluiwins word.! 1 . . , 1 : I J -1 uttie woman, anq I think they the rumors voice fell,! and "Emily is a very firm can safely be left to ier lavorite novelist 1 1 "He must be ;lovely !" said Bee. Shouldn't wonder if he turned out to a college professor. ; But, Pee, d e he get his captials right, and isn't his punctuation queer." ! j "That makes no 1 difference," said I, With dignity. "They saygeniuse3 never an spell,! and certainly capitals and piinctuation marks are quite .unim portant except tO Miss ! ij aston. He probably has a soul above such things.1' j lime went on, and witli ;it tne .corre spondence. As spring approached we be;an to think ''."..j K." must be feeling the effects of overwork he had told us that he was a braini worker! for his let ters grew more careless and less intel lectual. He wanted to see Miss Dunn; ' Wouldn't she send him her! photograph, or just a bit of her hair? I At this Bee ijOOKea grave ; nartim-scarum as sne was. asked and aws massed at ... . , I 1 1 i Y ' 'I.-. . . .r' J. respective jfctatesi if every d adopt 'this Bee, as we I Repeated or : a new no excuse laws. The prcvji tries of ci A ' no-', ftlencc Of sulci ivl!uatjon n it 1 portion to yr exist cn f Saxony fler i- allmi: imre.y so ji'e hidUa A philari . to increas litic Klerc 1 m. Th ished 1 .1 so m dy eems. :S in all coun- 1111 tavs Dr. 1 elix in tbfi PVAfvh together. tne conversation to her. ! Probably a I governess, housekeeper.' rbturned Bee' who, like Warrdn Hastings, had a 'fmiiid calm amid tliiEcultiesi'' ' j j-. ;,i ; i .Wt hoever it! is, I: shan't mind;iherl O Bee, 1 here's greit-aunt's carriage at; the doorl How she will s:old about our our v eases ! Tike off your earrugsand put them in your pocket.';' We walked jboldly into the parlor, though our longidre.-ses did twist most. .li. 1 e less ot the ! J ,1 e . crowaca act pro- struggle kingdom sell-mur- the ! provokingly about my dismay, Bee when I stepped in leads tli? list. wh! Id il i 11 ' . I M st totally unknowh tied and withal tolerablv fer 1 Is o lurkcy and Norway, i 11 fliropicrMme, hi time a ... (rious yjm ib .Wo'lnan I in Pn prize had IWen awalrded thii appointed JiiTy to Mile hns for tleivVB keDt her father half a dpzpn brothers I una! : il il .! Bfitii o an ad uu elnga 'fctitler Ou method boats f ujt" in1 a rajiyi ol estab- 1 prize of d inius- is. The year by the linau , wno mother, and sisters by inery shop. she still had a-keen sense of personal dignity j"I don't believe I want to write any ihpre"; sh$ said. ."'Perhaps he isn't I as nice as we; tnought. .Let s drop it," ; j 'lAs usual, I agreed, and we did drop it; but we had yet to learn that a ball Once set (rolling does not stop Word of the sender. We dropped correspondence, but "E. R." had no thought of doing so. - . I . I t irst came a' pleading note, begging to know if "B. !)," were ill; then an other, almost harsh, asking if she meant to throw I him over; Presently arrived one which made us look at each oth,er with frightened eyes, and wish we never had departed from! the beaten ways of decorum. ; ! ' ; : i"I am coming to Colville to see you," we cried. to Kitty s father xo te.11 mm sne naa r.een fooiisn twit noi wicked, and he quite agreed with me that ii you tnree gins value your eooa name,' the story must never be talked about.! Theoung man waj still lingering in the post-office, no doubt watching to hear his letter called for, and I invited h'ni to get into the carriage, and drive hunid" Willi ma " ! .... III v. I "Oh!" we cr'ed, -till in fear and hor tor; but mamma smiled. "He was very embarrassed, but I sue-' ceeuea in persuaaing mm 10 muKe me a call. We had some cake and lemmade,! and after a long talk, chiefly on my side, ne agreed witn me tnat nt was never to ! "But how did asked Bee. "I left it to his honor as acrentleman,"! said mamma, sweetly; and looking into: her sincere and lovely face, I realized! that it must be indeed a hard heart which cculd withstand her. "Run home and confess, Kitty," she added. "lOtir father is all ready to forgive you." ; I; Next day came our letters, addressed, without ! a word, to Bella Dunn. Evi-1 dently he intended to make (is ascomt fortable as possible by assuming that he didn't know our real names. When theVi ; had burned to ashes in the kitchen-stove,. Bee, followed by her double, marched resolutely to her mamma's room, and; spoke. a "Mamma," said she, ""we're not going to talk much about it, because we're too ashamed, but if we can show you how much we love you" and we put our four arms around her,' and inaugurated that moment the system which made p?ipa say the other day, peering at us quizzically: "Dear me ! I Dever saw such a doting pair as you have grown to be. Why, you're as much in love witb-aiamma as I am " ' '""K- jl "'They've begun to show some proper ieeiing,"putiff great aunt, with dignity 'Mn wnnder tlipn'ro crratofnl in Vnr fnr at IUC ; .!...;,. . U" I tuairgiug HiUlil 11U1U UUJUCU9 JI11U JTULLU A Matrimonial Reaaon. "I'm very ghd I didn't marry old Worniley. after all." said Grac;e, al- though it did make ma so vexed at the time." "Why. ray dear?" "Because he has lived, so much longer than either of us exneeted." JVew York Sun. ' A-True Man. Harry "Fo you are going to marry old IJjana Hunter. Well, Tom, my boy, do you think she is just the girl for you that is er " Tom "Oh, I know, old fellow, she has manv faults, but I consider, above all, her pa value." Bazir. Men, Women and the Bible. II. "It is no use talking, Mary.- The Bible is a history of men. Women are mentioned only incidentally as they had influence on the actions of men. Ihe book says very little about women com pared to what it does about men." W. tmusingly) "lou may be right after all. John, now when I come to think of it There is one thing, at any rate, it says about men that it docs not say about women." H. (smiling) "I thought you would come to your senses, Mary. What n it the book says about men that it doesn't say about women f" W. (placidly) "It says: 'All men are liars.' " 1 hen the husband aroe and put on his hat and went out to see what kind of night it was. BotUn Cvurler. A Viol nt Knd Imminent. "See that chap over there?" "Vis. Why if" "He'll die with his boots on before long." 'fHard charater, eh." "No But he's t barber and an ex pert at dying whiskers." Lincoln Jour- The Fatal Nnmber 'Amarintha. in accenting me. you have made me immeasurably Tiappy." "I am glad to know it, Arthur, lou are not in the least superstitious, are youj" "AO, daring. Why do you ask:" "Because you are the thirteenth man to propose to me this year." Life. A Request "Gent'emen," said the Judge, "will you please proceed with the case''" "Yes, sir," said a pert attorney,. "we will tr your honor." "Very well, oblige me by trying something besides ray patience." Mer chant Traveler. ladies. " Youth's Companion. I Remunerative Flattery. She pulled her bonnet down a little to h:de some impudent gray hairs and said: "Ye'm; for yourself ." "Yes." "Well, here is something very suitable for a lady about twenty-tive. "Well, 1 11 take them," and she did. Jtwderf Yte.l;. "Dogs of War." member of the French our ankles, and to j it ran. i "Of course, 1 know well enough i The j M. Luce, a Academie des Inscriptions, read, at the last meeting of that body, a very curious royal decree, dTted January 2 ', 14 75, in which King l.ouis XI. gives some orders about a number of dogs which he -wished to be provided for keeping watch over the Abbey o: Mont St. Michel. M. Luce, premising that the relapsed into giggling on! mine and pluneed me forward, alnaost into the arms of great- .things smooth, just write and tell aunt herself. '1 pere she sat, icye-ff usses j where to meet you." ln haiid, in all her terrible disrnitv. and 1 !Bee savs when we read that we ought there also sat; a strange lady, petite. oj nave iainteajjor we certainly flushed i with were ooth and loveliness, and miserable enough. Desperate as we were, .there was still nothing for us to do but forward ii wait, and so we went about the house ed. papa, coming 3' At Hutsiati ' er I' I rorrt ,1 eant has the tents. rapid Upon kinder. ; he aid of greed neighboring grOv. Each e t detachment ot ' thirty niihutesj diiection ' by hap-hazard improvised several?; handy coats with supported aoldicrs.l ! f"ur to SIX IT inve a of vented construction l 1 . ' - ." xpenment, in lie des'gner's men chosen fJlly tpod from a oat readily equipped charmingly d;cs "Girls." said and hesitating, as if he wished the cere- from day to day looking wretched, and monyj were over,! "this lady is your ne w feeling oh,' I cannot tell how we felt! mamma I hope you will love her for : Nobody but those who have l'ned in my sake." f- j ! momentary fear ; of disgrace can even 1 he stranger rose and put out a hand imagine. ! to eajh of us,- while, by a common im pulse! it was:always said at school that the twins breathed in- concert, we stiffened up to that she should not kiss us. t think we all felt a little awkward, but great-aunt created a diversion, j "la the name of all i that s proper. girls,? ' said sh6, putting her glass on her nose, your send out i Papa in turn held up his glasses before his dear, near-sighted eyes, and peered forward to examine us. '' I "VVhy, aunt, what's the matter with their clothes?") he asked; "They seem to be! clean - and. whole." , I I ! No one could i-help g'ggling at such of! Abyss in John paralleled I ' Aiuwn wpi n the one wh 1 in modern cerem inles. fey thei bride is regarded as r r 1 . J : h decked the Queen of T 11 i r "T The daughter of the jl ing of Shov has v-.cuujr iimrriuu iie e aesi son of King il with a pplendor un The thei head of cue Da. . Accoruing 10 tne native records it has been an the posses- linn nftU Vil,::.. .:,..! . .! five centuries. ' - to. il 1 ; 1 ; IT ' "t Secretary Endicott Jias of tie adoption (t the roe nbers o It j is. jirHcticallV, anui f eems t be a cross oetween a iL : L( ... J I i.. swoid -suth as Mr. Tjawreuce Bar . ! soldi f- nian nr .j ,-. i gnined bis of a novel he hospital ii! bg jack icrs w ear and a bow: approval wi apo,n corps. . kfe, ihort rett's Ho . . , 1 1 1 - iii ' .,1,1. knife. It is madeof the iii';-in steel, and is to be worn strapped to the side. The weapon is'not Intended for offensive ac- ... I i. I ,." , U . r . In. Hon, sincd the; members ofj tpe hospital torps ate classed bv the Gdnefal Confcr- ) ' ence of the Bed Cross as non-combatants. ' ?s intended as aa ! emergency weapon, lo' be Ui-ed as a carving kilife a splint- JnHker, to, whittle out an improvised lit- r, or for any one of the thousand and one purposes for which a. good jack knife comei in. j , The ! hospital corps will be supplied with the new knife at once!, and ill then be drll ed in its varied applica- lions. Bella Tunn isn't your real name, but I "esuon, is one 01 special interest ust shall find you out. r If you wanttomake ; """' -yr iUn.0 . '. - . . 1 till 17A ilArva Tah Vk 1 ltntin ntiwnMSnn v a UUgO 1UI Ulllltai Y pti pLOUO 1C calls the' tact that the early French kings placed almost unlimited confi dence in the patronage of St. Michael, and endowed the a bey dedicated to him with a 'great many valuable lands and privileges. He says that King Louis XI. made two pilgrimages to the Mont St. Michel, the first in 146'2 and the second in 147;', and that during his second visit he allowed himself to be persuaded by the commander of the fortress that it would be very de sirable to provide a number of watch dogs. The King issued an edict that ia! sum of twenty-fout livies tournois should be paid out of the revenues of the district of Avranchcs for the keep of "these dogs, whn hare to be chained up and kept under control by day, and set loose by night about the. said fort-; ress, to protect and keep watch over it. M. Luce: adds that 'the keeping watch' oter the Mont St. Michel presented many difficulties, and there can be no doubt that if its defenders were able to pre vent any surprise on the part of the English for twenty-seven years, this was. in a great measure due to the sharp look-out kept by these dogs." He is; also of opinion that the breed of dogs used for keeping watch over the Abbeyi St. Michel is one , which may still be1 found in the neighboring district be-, tween Avranches and St. Malo. London A Comprehensive OrdT. Guest (in lestaurant) "I've no time to give vou an order from the bill of fare Bring me anything bring me whatever you ve goW ' Waiter (deferentially) "Everything we ve yot in one order, sir? Guest "Yes. that will do." W alter (m loud, imperious voice) "Clam chowdur for one?" ChicajO Tri bune. A Male Venus. An amusing storv, related of the late dean of C hichester, appears in the Liver pool Mercury: "While be was vicar of St. Mary the Virgin's Church of Oxford from the pulpit of which t ardinal Newman delivered his famous sermon a parishioner brought a male child to be christened. Upon Mr. Burgon asking the sponsors what name they 'deired to give the baby, they replied: 'Venus,' 'Venus': he exclaimed, indignantly: 'how dare you ask me to call it any 6uch namar ' in the hrst puce, it is not a man's name at all, but that of a most wicked female." "Please sir, the child's grandfather was christened 'Venus,'" exclaimed the godmother, very miuh alarmed. "What, do you mean to say he's got a grandfather called 'Venus i' Where is his grandfather?" The christen- ng was suspended till he came, a poor old fellow, bent double with rheumatism, years and toil, and looking as little like V enus as can possibly be imagined. "Do you mean to tell me, my good man, that you were christened 'Venus l'" "Well, no sir," he coughed and stammered; "I was christened 'Sylvanus,' but folks al ways call me 'Venus.'" ASIMILB. Rivers start from tnoantnia springi; Uvea tnatura and the tak wiot; rb?y babhl Mxh down childhood's w?y They twinkle and laagh, ark- tfinun-r and Then slip from tbeir moant&ia'rath.a ca- brsvoa, And wander about fa a stranrs. wild planv One foolishly tbinki that a bask of flowr is to place where life kls the lurnjt boon; " t Buttercups, to its f anry, wxrn jmre gold. and bright dandelions are wealth iotol l. so it roes that wit: and the torUwmlnf moss ts found to be thistles and the rolJ mere dross. notber wanders o'er dem'ate p'ains. tad only waste placet and Larrrn field ains: Midst deserts wide, an 1 rocVs and sands, rhrouxh comfortless and unknoxn lands; and on its drear banks there bloota no Cow- era, J " to soften and sweeten the deaotate hours Dne tings the song of the gnl len rule. and the crystal drops are bright and cool,. Which it spatters and dabes on tbirtty oowt 4s they stand, breast high, 'neath syca more boutha It gathers force from streams and rilie and tarns the wheels of giant mills. Another is muddy and 1u;gUh and k!ow. in every ooe's way where'er it msy go; It is bridged with patience and fordal with frowns, and voted a nuisance by savants and clowns. So beauty it has and no wcrit does it do. As it aimlessly runs its oetleas course through. Ihough one may b fooiisn. another b wise, Dne the color of earth, another ot skies. Whatever their aims and ambitions rosy be, Ihey all find a wsy to the grave-like tea; And into the wi le ocean. Death, they are tossed, And tbeir gains and their pains are forgot ten and lo&t. iMlroil rVej Viu. UL'JllR OF THE DAT. An Unfori nnate Youth. Benevolent G en tleman ' 'Why are j ou weeping, my lad:" Where's your father!" "ln jail." "Well, well; and your mother ?" "In jail " "Have you no brothers or sisters?" ; "Yep, but they're iu jail."" ; "And where do you come from now!" j ' From jail. They wouldn't let me stay any longer." Lincoln Jonrnni. length, when we had grown ; so frightened that we trembled at the sound j an unfamiliar step, mamma came into our room one day, and seated herself, looking ery sweet and determined. ". iris," she said, "won't you tell me all about it? What is the matter?" 1 "There; isn't I began, and theu I uwhat kiie you been 1 doiue-l to couldn't go on. We had been bad lothes? J Henry, is it possib'e you.: enough, but neither Eee nor I had really those children to school tricked" lied yet. 1 ' i . .,! that fashion?" ( 1j !"i ear girls, you are very unhappv," said she; 'I'm sure an older person could help you. Won't you tru3t me?" Thenj with. one accord, the 'twins be gan to cry, and, also with one accord, jthey plunged forward, buried their faces Sn her lap, and kept on sobbing. I be lieve there never - were I such tears. delicious innocence ofourdelinuuerc.es. Mamma has said jsince. that her muslin and as Bee ad I. yielded just for a overskirt was soaked with them, and moment to le jot rire I eaight an that the dress, as long as it lasted, answering flaih upon the face of pur step- showed the effects of the shower, mother. j. 1 ' ' j I -. ' j l jWhen we could speakj she . began For an instant j I came near liking her, ; questioning us gently, at thei same time but the impulse was promptly iquenched. stroking the naught v heads in whi.'h the Had we not always vowed we would not . mischief had been hatched. By 3egrees tolerate such aa interloper? - : she got the whole storv from us, and t 'Weill HenryJ" said great aunt, "youi though she did not utter one reproachful are ahoutas fit to bring up children a ! jsvord, we knew well enough what she that sofa. I'm glad you have some one j inast think of us and what :we had done. to help younow.) Children, beicibedient; 1, No wonder we could not meet her eyes! Emily, be firm with them. ' and she I ' lAVhile we crouched there before her, a took her' maji-stip leave, while we I wo knock came at the 1 door, and in rushed clast ed l hands in a silent compact that Kitty risher, our accomplice. we would not obey, and that the person j !.hJ girls, I'm so frightened!" she cried, who aspired to be firm with lis s.iould fob much overcome to notice mamma. repent her ambition. j. ) "Hesherel ' we sat up and stared at it would be a long taK to ten an we mer. . we even looKeaover ner snomoer, did to make that sweet lady's life a bur- half etpectmg to hear him coming up den,';. To be sure, we weie not as heart- the stairs. ! - less as I we seemed; for i we cbuld not U j "Tell me all about it,! 1 Kitty," said estimate then ithfe greatness of the cross Imamma, with decision. ; "I know the we had put upon her. j wnole story." iWe made a point of calling her "Step- V '"Yes, tellherl" groaned! Bee. "She mother," except When papa was by. ! If knows it all." she! offered kiss us, we gave a little j ' "I wasjn the office, n began Kitty, her ieck at her cneef. like vicious 1 canaries, f eyes almsc starting irom ner head, ; "and f sho i took pains in selecting our rib- a young man came up to the window. bon-; we looked coolly on those particu- and asked who ha'd called for Bella lar colors; if the spent time and thought ' Dunn's letters. . Papa said: 'Nobody ; on our dresses, 've wore lhem ! without ' there wasn't any such name in town.' rewarding her v ith a word of apprecia- , Then the man asked a lot more questions, tiori. j '111'.' "-V';; . ; j . and mailed another letter 'to her, and We had simpb r entered on a course of ' said he meant to know j who got it. what! Hee called anti-step mother," and, j !i "As soon as papa had vpost marked it, as great-aunt always said, we belonged : I took it and ran, and here it is. ! And to an obstinate race: Our chief griev- j oh, papa bever'll trust. me again as long ancellay in the fact that everybody per- ! as I liver Then it was Kitty's turn, to aisted in fconsidering us children, while I burst into tears. .. 1 ! we thought ourselves young ladies. . iWe ' f "What sort of a young man was he?" wanted to wear our mother's jewels;: we, asked mamma. How did he look 1" , lonced for party idresses with trains, and l "He j looked he rridl". r said Kitty, Candidate' Plctnre. Foreman (great daily) "Here's an or der from down stairs to print a cut of Blifkins, the Peoples candidate for Mayor. We haven't any cuts of him. Able Editor "How much did he pay for it?" "Five dollars." " nly ifS. Scratch a beard on Lydia Pinkham, and run that in.- Recrrd. -P.iilaJelpfiia A Matter of Ituslnesw. Clerk (to landlord) "Young Mr. Spriggins and old lomboy have had a ouarrel. and both threaten to leave the house unless the other one does." Landlord "Which is the better cus tomer:" Clerk "About the same, Sir." Landlord "Tell old Tomboy he must .go. He is likely to die any day, and we may keep Spriggins for years. tpoch. Be Yonr Own Glazier. There are hundreds of little jobs that 'the man about the house eotrid do if he only went to work in the right way," said an "all-round" repair hand to a New York Mad and Ejpre reporter the other day. "Plenty of people, chiefly mechanics who have grown old in their trades, and who have not been able to keep up with the times, usually cam a living by going from house to house at this season of the year and in the spring, to do the many lit tie odd jobs that are always needed. Mending old windows is one of the baldest jobs to be done. The putty comes off hard, and very often the sash is split and badly damaged in the at tempt of the tinkers to chisel off the old putty. Occasionally a very old sah is found, the putty on which has a large proDortion of whitelead mixed with the whiting. Such putty can hardiy be re moved with a chisel without c hipping off large p.eces of wood from the sarh. w hen time can be taken it will mate rially help to cover the sash thickly with a paste made from three parts ot lime, one part of potash, and a sufficient luantity of soft water to mix well. If this is done and the sash laid aside for ten or twelve hours the putty can b re moved without breaking the glass. That is the only safe way to do it. A thin Daint made of this same ra'xture can be plastered oa any of the grease covered jobs, which every person who attempt any such repairing very frequently comta across. A liberal coating left on ore night and an application of cold water from a hose under sixty pounds pressure will have a wonderful eject. buch seemingly insignincaot reemciies aie worth a trial from those who desire to have their house and outbuilding in good repair." ChlldrenN Umlut S.iyinx. Little Dick had beeu listening to the recitation in geography of ao older brother. "I know what an iiland is," said he to mamma. "Well, what is it?" asked mamma. "It's a little piece of land all fenced round with water," proudly answered Dick. Ii ! His Moustache Was His Fortune. ! During the recent visit of the Prince( oi; w aies to Hungary ne was mucn strucK. with the magnificent moustaches worn by the coachmen of that country. One man in particular roused the admiration of his royal highness by the fierceness and grace of his hirsute adornments.! The Prince engaged him. On reaching. Marlborough House the jehu saw that the coachmen, footmen and, in fact, all the servants wore faces devoid of hair. He, at once sought a barber and had his face shaved clean. When the Prince saw" him again he was horrified. ' 'I engaged you for your moustache and for nothing else," said -his highness. That evening the Hungarian set out for his native land. Oraph ic ! ! J The Loan of Three Panthers. ' !Herr Hagenbeck, of Hamburg, the leading German wild beast dealer, lately received a letter from. Bosa Bo'nheur, the great animal painter, inquir.ng Jf she could come to his menagerie and select s couple of panthers which she was anxious to paint from j life. In i reply the wild: beast dealer was gallant enough to say. that there was no need of Mme. Bonheur exposing herself to a fatiguing journey, but that he would instead send her, in' 1 charge ot a keeper, well packed and secured, three , fine panthers, which she conid? keep as long as she pleased and return by the keeper when she had quite done with them. Rosa Bonheur is painting those panthers now. k . . v ; He Wanted Credit "Don't you see that sign np there?" asked the grocer, pointing sternly to 1 '.placard on the wall bearing the words "No Credit Given Here." "Y'es," replied the man, who had just asked for a barrel of flour on tick, "I eee it. But how about that other sign up there on the other side: 'If lou Don' See What You Want, Ask for ItT' 8mercilU Journal. . He Stood to Reason. "judge," said the Montana lawyer, as he leaned back in his chair and threw 'one foot up on the table, "I object to 'the witness answering that question, and I'm ready to argue the point. It stands to reason " "So will you, young man," roared the Judge. if you've got any speech to make. Get up on your feet, or fit clap vou in the calaboose for . contempt of court quicker'n you can accept an invi tation to drink." And the young law yer stood to reason. fjhuago Tribun. Broke the Yonne Man's Heart. Editor-in-Chief (kindly, to young man iust added to the staff) "lou wu understand, Mr. Jordelson, that on cer tain hackneyed themes we avoid weary ins the patience of the public You wil! not be expected, Mr. jordelson, for in stance, .to write any witticisms on the banana-peel on the sidewalk, the mule, the stovepipe, ' the church oyster,! the soring poet, boarding-bouse butter.' the Li Hie Cora heard an older person re mark that some one who was in trouble was -in a pickle." Shortly afterward her little brother attempted some difficult feat "Oh, you mustn't do that," she ex claimed, "or you will be in a cucumber." 'Tarl,1 said Auntie, "I should not think you would like radishes; I shonld think they would bite your tongue." "Why, auntie," said the little boy, "they hasn't got any teeth.J YoutA's Companion. The Window Dresser. Dry goods merchants appreciate the services of an employe who is a good window dresser. Many firms keep a man who does nothing else, but the majority of dry goods ana furnishing homes de pend upon the taste and good sense of their clerks. Twd things are necessary to the making of a good window dresser a sense of color in masses and in con trasts, and the ability to appreciate the value of repeated forms, buch colors, for instance, as yellow and black, re peated in gloves and stockings, say,, are very striking and catch the eve. Ked and black are also good, although of course, the variety of color combinations is endless. A skilful window dreseris a valuable person, and his wsgfs are by no means smalL Xew York (jrapktc. - ----- . . 1 The fresh fruit crop of California this season has an estimated value of f 10, OOO.UOO. 1 , The warmest sea -on Cayenne pepper. A lump turn The coal dca er's profits. A rank deceiver A visiting foreigner with sham title. The billy-coat wears a beard because he is a goat-he himself. What is the board of education I The' schoolmaster's shingle. What t-ticketh closer than a brother f A postage stamp, by gum. If a young lady's maiden aim is suc cessful, she has no maiden name.. Writing for the magazines is a business that always yields big rtturns Life. It is probably the attention paid it which makes the weather-vane. Lite. What is the difference between an etfr gineer and a -chool teacnerl One train the mind and the other minds the Ira.u. What is the difference between a soldier and a pretty woman? One facft the powder and the other powders th face. Pay is not easily discouraged. Although it breaks at its very ttsrt, it keeps right on just the same as if nothing had happened. De'roit Frte Prjt. Th' cobbler does not die, of court. When all h:s years are pt. Because it's qu:te impctl For him to breathe h Ut. --Bazar. In Boston the neck of a chicken is ca' led Nspoleon, because it is the bony part, Al mi Lhion. That is lurroy; and it is strange that the bony part in cludes the Nspe of the neck- Picayune. Emms to her intended) - "Just think, Charlie, Judge t?onds proposed to me ve:erday." Charlie "What did you iay to hinif' "I told hid that I was very sorry, but that I was alifady en aed." Te " Si, tiny. Samaritan "I see you have a card ia your window. Meip Wanted.'" Yes, sir; I put that there. Samaritan "My noor Iriend. whr don't you pocket your pride and gp at once to the vcree of the Poorf ImucI VvuiUr. "Hadaiii.c :! VYa'ai, rather. "Been doing the Cotinentf "Well, yes. if you like to put it that wsy, but when Iflook at my expense account it rather seems as if the Continent bad been do.ng me." London l'UIJti A Temporary Loan. Chumley i'm in a little tix, to day. Brown, for money; what would you ssy if ' I were to ask vou for temporary loan of a hand red or two dollars Brown "Well, Chum- . ley, if the loan will be temporary. I might let you have the two dollars." Aculed yea: His First Offence. --Miss 'Gotham (to Mr. Wabash, recently returned from abroad) "i surpoe you were at court while in London, Mr. WalahT Mr. U'.v..u .. 1 Well er .tm Miss Ootham, but ooly once, and then I got off with a metely nominal fine. Ua per's Bayir. . Biikins "I hope I am not in the war, Mi Tompkyns." Miss Tompkjns "Why, Mr. RUins, how can ym sug. gest such thing? You know l believe in even numbers. Polly and Charley made two; Jack and. I make four; too and the dog make six. We are all paired ofl nicely." The Cartoon. Patient Wife (of sick man) "Mary, bring in a glass with two tablespoon fuls." f ick Man "Darn your homeo pathic doses. You wan't to let toe die for want of medicine, don't you? Mary, bring in the glass half fnlL Wife Ibis isat the whisky, dear; it's the cod-lirer oiL" "Ohl" PAlUitlphia Record; A young widow, in erecting a monu ment to the dear aepanea, cieveny avail herself of the opportunity to In scribe upon the tomb: "?ared to the memory of Mathuzin Bezucbet, who de parted tbU life, sge sixty-eight years, regretting the necessity of parting from v V.r-m'nfr nf . women." Sum the most charm ng ox FramcU:o Watp. Talking aboat the sad condition of the poor," said a monopolist, "I've been 'nvesttgating of late on my own account and I find -that the poor can purchase more for their money now than ihey zould fifteen or twenty years ago. Why, s locomotive can be purchased for $10, XXJ now that would hare cost $30,0d3 twtntv vear sea" Vrf . - - ' i
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Nov. 15, 1888, edition 1
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