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Vol. 1.
RALEIGH,
THURSDAY, JUNE 8,
No. 1.
Professional Cards, notexeeedinir 1 souare .
jwiil be published one year for $12J 15
r N. C, THURSDAY, JUNE 8, 1871. r
! . ' ': x- !j ; -f 'SV I'-.- !! .
V
GOV. CALDWELL'S MESSAGE.
He Declines to Order an Election for Convention,
And is Sustained .by the Supreme Court.
STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA,
Executive Department,
Raleigh, Feb. 13th, 1871.
b the -Honorable, the General Asseinblu
. . T-r 1 1 s i L
Gentlemen: There has been certi
fied to nie "an act concerning a jCon
vention of thepeople," ratified on the
8th day of February, 1871, j byj the
terms of which the Governor is required
to issue a proclamation commaidirig
the Sheriffs of the respective Counties
. in the State to open polls and hold an
election for a Convention, &c, fcc. If
a majority of the votes are for a jConr
vention, then the Governor is required
C to issue another proclamation summon
ing thedelegates to meet in Convention,
jCrrt Jtfh 5 r' slrso . tii i-s4- 4-r
have been passed by two-thirds pi ail
, the members of each House of thejGen-
end Assembly. , j
-1 have the honor to inform youf hon
. orable body that as at present advised,
I cannot discharge the duties required
of me by said act. i .
When the act was upon its passage in
the Senate, I was the presiding officer
of that body,-and then stated, that as
the bill did not recite that it had the
concurrence of two-thirds of. all the
members of each House of the General
Assembly, I deemed it unconstitutional
and could not declare it passed, rind if
the Senate did not concur with kne, I
would vacate the chair and call to it
ci a .1. i, A; l
scruples on the subject. The Senate
did not concur in my views, and I va
cated the chair, calling to it the Iionor-,
able J Senator from Beaufort, vhose
opinion -was known to be in accord
with that of the Senate.! Sincet that
time I have been called tb the Execu
tive Chair of the State, anoV as thd Chief
of one of the three Departments pf the
Government,'! at first felt that t was
hardly-courteous for a co-ordinate de
partment to require me to do vihat I
had previously announced I coujld not
conscientiously do oh account 6f the
uncemstitutionalit v of the act : but upon
- fiirt lipr' reflection. T concluded that the
jGeneral Assembly is right in supbosing
that the act.can in no other way be
executed except through the Ext cutive
of the State.'
I deem it respectful to state briefly
whv I tl.A.ik said act unconstitutional.
tion declares, that "no Convention of
ine-,peopie snan ue caneu uy uj vjreu.
eral Assembly- unless by the concur
renee of two-thirds of all the members
of each House." The act under consid
em tion is unquestionably an act
a Convention. It nrovides the
idling
neans.
fixes the, time and places of voting;
declares who shall vote and who shall
not vote; who are eligible as delegates;
Avnen tney snau meet; wjiat oain mey
shall take; what they way, do) .what
. they shall do, and what they slmll not
do : and what they shall do with the
Constitution which they, may
fmme,
- it I IH Li I H Ml UUki ITIlHllllUllO 11 1
all be
come effective. If this be not culling a
Convention, then it is difllcultfto tell
what would be.
I am aware, however, that lC is con
tended that the Xesrislature does not;
call the Convention, but only authorizes!
the popple to call one. For the .sake of
argunlent, suppose this to be sojj it only
make the case worsey for in my opinion,
there is no event in which, the people
can call a Convention except as a revo
lutionary measure. Ours is a Cbnstitu-
tional government, and the people are,
as much bound by the Constitution as
the. Legislature is, or as any officer is;
The Constitution is the suprebie law
and it forbids even thepeople toj change
or amend it, except in pursuance of its.
own provisions, (Art. 1, sec. 3J) Ahy
other mode of amending it is extra
constitutional, revolutionary, and en
dangers the peace of the State, j j
Again, by- the Constitution, all legis
lative power is vested in the -General
Assembly. Convening a Convention
is a legislative act, and can only be done
by the General Assembly. Calling in
the aid of a popular vote does not alter
. the case, for the people have no power
of legislation, and. it is, after Jail, only
an act of the General Assembly, with
out the vote required by.the Constitu
tion. I
If the act under consideration only
submitted the question to th people,
whether they will have a Convention
or not, then there might jbe some
plausibility in the argument of its
friends, that the General Assembly was
not calling a Convention by a bare
. majority, but was simply inaugurating
a mode by Which the people inight ex
press their desire that ; a uon vention
' should be called in the manned prescrib
ed by the Constitution, so as I to justify
the General Assembly in calling one at
a subsequent session. But lejt any one
examine the Act dispassionately, ana
. the conclusion is irresistible that this is
a legislative attempt to amend the
Constitution in. a way and by a mode
different from that prescribed by the
Constitution itself. Is its sole object to
allow the people to say whether they
desire a Convention or not r ri nen w ny
provide in the act that the Convention
tiiau do certain thinsrs, rnau hot do cer
tain things, and shall do ptill other
certain thinsrs ? Is not this establishing
a part of the Constitution by legislative
enactment, without doing it in the
manner provided by the Constitution ?
irthis General Assembly,! by a bare
majority, can say what particular clause
or clauses shall be put into the Consti
tution, can it not. with equal propriety,
dictate all that shall be iri it? This
" proposition seems totne to be too clear
to admit of arsrument and I submit
that a Convention thus called would be
a Convention to ratify ainendments
made bv the General Assembly, and
not such a Convention as is contempla
trn hv th Constitution tci alter and
amend the Constitution or to adopt a
'. new one. . y I
When our resent Constitution was
adopted it was of no force or binding
effect until it was submitted to ! the
Congress of the United States, and re
ceived its sanction and aDnroval. This
.was rendered neeessarv bv an act o
Congress tassed on the 2d day of March,
11867, entitled " An Act td provide for
the more efficient governinent of the
Rebel States," and by an; act supple
mentary thereto, passed onl the 23d day
of March, 1867, uto facilitate Restora
tion." Both of these acfaf secured the
approval of the Legislature of North
Carolina, and the people of the State
acquiesced therein ; and, time and aga
in the Legislative' Halls, on. the hu
ings and in the j Courts of Justice; tj
leaaing representative men oi the state
have affirmed that, in good faith, they
would abide by sind support those laws
until they were altered, modified or re
pealed by the law-making power of the
nation, or were declared to be uncon
stitutional by the Judiciary o the
United States. Neither of these contin
gencies, has yet happened, and as our
Constitution could not have gone into
operation without the sanction of Con
gress, I submit that no part of it can be
altered or amended without the same
sanction, unless the alteration oramend
ment be made in the way indicated by
the Constitution itself. Congress agreed,
when it accepted our Constitution, that
we might amend it in two ways: First,
by calling a Convention, two-thirds of
all the members of each House of the
General Assembly concurring; and,
second, by Legislative enactment,' as
provided irt Article 13, section 2. The
people of North Carolina, by their dele
gates in Convention assembled, and
afterwards by their own votes, agreed
to the same thing: Will it not now be
justly regarded as an act of Punic faith,
on bur part, if we claim that we did
not intend the consequences of our own
act: but, on the contrary, had the ulti
mate purpose to violate our plighted-
honor. whenever we felt it convenient
to do so ? God forbid that we should
give any one cause to believe that we
or our people could be wilfully guilty
of such an act o xluplicity and treach
ey ! In the name of the peopleof my
State, I repudiate, any such purpose,
and proclaim that although they may
desire their Constitution to be amended,
they wU never consent that it may be
done in any other way than that agreed
upon between themselves and the Con
gress of the United States, without the
consent of both parties freelygiven.
f I" am embarrassed by the situation.
JJ am extremely anxious to be in accord
with your honorable body, but I feel
assured that no member of the "General -Assembly,
nor any person vThd values
his reputation, will censure me for re
fusing to do an act which I feel I am
precluded from . doing: bv the oath I
have taken to support the Constitntiou.
Were I to do so, I should feel that I
merited the scorn and contempt of every
honest ana honorable man in the .State,
and that I was utterly unworthy, to oc
cupy the place I now hold. . I would
much prefer your censure when I have
a conscience void of offence, to ybur
commendation with an accusing con
science. ; " - .
With an earnest desire to arrive' at a
correct conclusion, and to do nothing
rashly or unadvisedly, I have ljctaken
myself to the great fountain, of law iii
North Carolina; and sought information
from the Supreme Court on this vital
question. It is the peculiar duty of
this learned tribunal of justice to ex
pound the Constitution and the laws,
and I feel it my bounden dutv to sub
mit to and acquiesce in their decision.
In renlv to a letter addressed bv me to
the Chief Justice and Associate Justices?
on the 9th inst., I have received at ;
answer, a copy of which I herewith
transmit to your honorable body, as
well as a copy of my letter to the Court,
I have endeavored to state the hon
est judgment of my mind upon this
important question. I have asked in
a spirit of sincerity and truth, and
have ascertained the opinion 'of the
Supreme Court, that' my judgment
might be enlightened by . their views.
They concur with me in my opinion
of the unconstitutionality of this act.
It is gratifying to me to know that
thev have done so, not because it af
fords me an occasion to say that I was
right and the General- Assembly
wrong, but because it may suggest, to
your honorable body the proper means
of accomplishing 6 change in the Con
stitution, in lieu of such as are pro
vided for by the iact under considera
tion M .
It is in the interest of peace, quiet
and pnblic order, andto prevent prob
able serious conflicts anoT collisions of
authority, that I invoke the General
Assembly to relieve me from the em
barrassment of my present position.
The Government is of the people and
for the people, and, upon a just occas
ion, ana in a lawful way, they have an
indisputed right to change it. No one
will be less likely than I to interpose
captious objections to the mode or man
ner of effecting such changes as are pro
posed by the representatives of the
people, or as? may be in accordance
with a distinct, definite and deliberate
popular will expressed upon this . sub
ject. But it cannot be successfully de
nied that the mode now proposed is
novel and irregular (to use no stronger
term;) that it has no express warrant
or authority by any provision of the
Constitution ; that it is sustained only
by a latitudinous and strained inter
pretation of a general phrase in that
liisirumeui max .it is in uie niie ui
? a. : i. ii u - . : 4 1 . f
contemporaneous exposition and de
cision of the same question in the uon
vention of 1835, by the ablest men, and
by a very large majority of that body
of pure, upright and eminent citizens;
that it has been more than once deter
mined, and I had supposed finally de-
, ' . ' t i xi i . r i iu Hi.:
termineu, uy.uie action oi ,uoia politi
cal parties, represented by their best
men in the General Assembly, before
the war. This being the case, and the,
public mind still being sensitive to the
slightest cause of alarm and apprehen
sion for the continuance oi peace witn
in our borders, and our people praying
every day and hour of their lives that
they may never see again the scenes of
commotion, sinie, uuieriiess mm oioou
shed through which they have so re
cently passed; that whde they have
decided views that one manner of se
lecting Judges and Justices of the
Peace, is preferable fo another ; that
one kind of county administration is
better than another, there is yet no
prevailing reason why they should
again buckle on their sabres, shoulder
their 'muskets, and at the point of their
bayonets, and at the mouth of their
cannon, enforce their views of what
ought to be the Constitution upon their
dissenting neighbors, as each party un
dertook to do in 1861.
A feeling of doubt and uncertainty
as to the future, exists in JSorth Caro-
olina. There is some
should exist. And,
slightest circumstance
reason why it
therefore the
will be seized
-n j-p j
upon as foreboding evil by the sober,
steady men' and women of the Statu;.
For they yet remember and) feel the
agonies of slaughtered or crippled sorjs,
of widowed daughters and: orphaned
childrjeri, and deplore the loss of rav
aged and desolated homes and ruined
fortunes. "The trivial coincidence if
the paonth and day of the j proposed
Convention election with certain other
inauspicious days and months in the
dark period of bloodshed, crime, and
overthrow of political relations and in
stitutions, inaugurated with' 'as. fair,
promises as are now made in this sarie
month ten years ago, will be remem
bered) H;jt -will be remembered aljso
that i the very day, April 1 13th, on
whicli the proposed election is to m
held the anniversary of the bom
bardment of Fort Sumter j and the
commencement of the war. t Slight as
these i circumstances are, the people
till attribute to them great signifi
cance! as indicative of ulterior and-dan-gerou$
designs, not perhaps in the con
templation of those who concurred in
the passage of the present law. i ,
I The dread of being deprived -of the
protection of the homestead clause in
the present Constitution will, .create a
deep, feeling of anxiety and' interest
among the people, and contribute to
exasperate and heighten the general
excitement beyond that j which We
might j expect in; ordinary elections.
The fear that the 'army of creditors
whose claims, have been excluded jby
the holding of the present Supreme
Court!,j will be precipitated upon the
helpless and impoverished debtors f in
the Site, now protected byl that dteis-l
ion, I coupled with the fact that the
present act does not restrict the pro
posed Convention from abolishing the
constitutional exemption from impris
onmebtf for debt, will seriously agitate
the ikiinds of the poorer classes of our
peoplje .both white and colored. The
former will regard the homesteads al
lotted to them by law as put in jeo
pVr If, if not probably lostj by submit
ting Hio; a call of a Convention. The
hltterj. who labor upon our farms,).1 in
our .domestic service, and upon pur
publip works, may suspect that a Cfon
ventibn, unrestricted as to its powef to
establish the old ca. sa. system of .Im
prisonment for debts', willj leave ojpen
a door to introduce that or a system I of
peonage: like that in Mexico, wliiere,
although their Constitution guarantee
liberty to every citizen, by' their niode
of enforcing debts every farm or h(j)use
servant is liahlp to become practically
a slave, . y A i ' .
These topics are alluded to, not for
the purpose of entering into any dis
cussion with the General Assembly
upoiju its views' of what it may think
necessary to do in the way of Constitu
tional reforms, but to shov, as all will
achnit,; that there -are causes of .irrita
tion and excitement enough tobe an
ticipated in any-' election: which .may
occur in a regular and lawful maimer
for (Jetermining the 'important Cohsti
t u tional change now proposcnl, and
that) this irritation and, excitement
must be, beyohd measure, and With
grea.tlanger to the public peace, ag
gravated by a continuance of the pres
ent Unfortunate conflict of opinion Ih1-
tw.een the Executive and Legislative
branches of thejgovernment. j
xMy ardent wish is that the tienerai
Assembly, actukited as I Relieve it is,
bv an honest hnl unselfish desire to
promote the public goodand. as fully.
if ndt better informed than I aih, of
the probable perils of the future, may
shape its course in such a way as tp I es
cape;; the dangers which every pnadent
man, in my judgment, must see ahead
of us. T ' i
In conclusion, I have again to repeat
that? the oath which I have takh j to
support the Constitution forbids line to
participate in executing this act, hich
believe to be in violation oi that sa
cred instrument.
Very respecttuiiy ;
1 0 TOD R. CALDWELL,
! Goveriior.
COKBESPONDENCE.
Raleigh, Feb. 9th, 1871
To the Honorable, The Chief Justice,
H and Associate Justices of the Supreme
Court of North Carolina : . j
; Gentlemen .Enclosed herewith
send!you a copy of an act passed jby the
present General Assembly, entitiea
'An Act concerning a Convention of
the Jneonle " Bv the first section of
the Act the Governor, is required to is
sue his proclamation, commanding the
Sheriffs to open polls and hold an eiec
uon, ex., ax. - I
After carefully reading the various
provisions of said act, and giving to it
such examination as I have been able
to bestow, i am lorcea to tne iconciu
. . ...... - . .
sion. that it is m airect conmct wixn
, a -m i a rm J t a 1
the Constitution of the State, which
have taken a solemn oath to support,.
in that, it proposes to amenu saiu jon-
stitntinn in a wnv and bv a method!
not-recognized nor warranted by the
Constitution itself. Entertainihg this
view, I feel that I would be unfaithful
to ihv trust." were I, in any way, even
at the behest jof the General Assembly
to become an instrument to assist in
Violating the supreme law jof the
State, .enacted, by the j .peoplf them
selves:.' I am willing, however; to sur
render my own opinion; upon this vital
auction, to the better opinion of the
Supreme Ctourt, which is the final ar
biter of-all questions involving! the con
stitutionality of an act of the IGenera
Assembly. j: ; ji II- "
I desire not to act rashly or unad-
visexily, and therefore most respectfully
askKhe opinion of your Honorable
' A . A Jl- 1 1 . ? f
Uourt,.as to tne constituiioniuiTy o
said act ; and wThetheri if unconstitu
tiohak it is my duty as Governor, to
assist m the execution thereof,! as j pro
vided in the first and third section of
said act ? '
i A,h early answer will confer! a great
favor. ; . . . ' ! j '
Very respectfully your ob't serv't.,
I , TOD R. CALDWELL,
. j Governor.
fjSTATE OF NORTH CAROLINA
'!..'-. Supreme CoiUBT,
. A Raleigh, Feb. 11th, 1871.!
ToxHis Excellency, Gov. Caiwex.l.
; Sir : In reply to your communica
tion of the 9th inst., I have the honor
to say, that the Chief Justice, fend Jus-
iices iwxunan, jjick aau oeiue axe oj
opinion that the act to which you refer.
is in violation of the Constitution.
All legislative power is vested in the
General Assembly. Calling a Conven-
lon is an act of legislation, it follows
that ho Convention can be called un-
ess it be done by the General Assem-
ly. j '
The People have reserved to fhent-
selves.no Mwer of legislation : It f!
ows, that a -Convention cannot be
called by a vote of the People; nor
will j such, voting enable the General
Asseinbiy to call a Convention in a
manner not authorized, by the Consti
tution, i i
Justice Read e, for the reason stated
bv him when the opinion of the Jus
tices was requested by the General As
sembly in regard to the tenure of of-;
hce,i declines to give an opinion.- i
. - " .1 if -i
uixm tne secona question in regara
to your duty, .provided you believe the;
act to be unconstitutional, the Justices;
do riot feel at liberty to offer an opin
ion.:
' Very respect fully, tvev,
R. M. PILVPySOX,
ChUfJitsfice, Sti)reme C u;t.
JOSH BILLINGS ON KORN.
Korn iz a' serial, i am glad ov it.
It got its name from Series, a primi
tiff woman, and in her day, thegoddessj
ov ojits, and sich like.
Kom iz sumtimes called maiue, and
it grows in sum parts ov the western
country very amaizenly. ,
I hav seen it out thare 18 foot hi, (i
don't mean the aktual korn itself, but
the tree on which it grows.) i
Korn haz ears, but never haz l)ut one
ear; which iz az uen az an adder. t
Injun meal iz made out ov korn, and
korn dodgers iz made out ovmiunmeal
and korn dodgers are the tuffest chunks
ov.the breau imrswiwiun. known tew
man.
Korn dodgers are made out ov water
with injun meal mixt into it, and then
baked on a hard board, in the presence
ov li hot lire. ,
When vou can't drive a 10 penny
nail into them with a sledge hammer
they are sed, hi good judges, to.be wel
dun, and are reddv tew be chawed upon
Ihey will keep five years, in a damp
place, and not gro tender, and a dog hit
with one ov them will yell.' tor a wcck
and then crawl under thebam and mut
ter for two days more. '
I have knawed two hours nnselt oh
one side ov a korn dodger, without pro
duemg enny result, and l think l could
tarve to death twice before i could re
duce a korn dodger.
They git the name dodger from the
immegiate necessity of dodgeing if one
iz hove horizontally at yu in anger.
It iz iar bettor tew be smote hi a .
year old steer, than a korn dodger tha
iz only three hours old.
tlvorn was first; diskovered bi the in
juns, but whare they iouna it i (ion-
khow, nor du i care.
VVhiskee (noble whiskee) is made on
ov korn. ana whiskee is one ov tne
frffnttt bleinrvi trnnwii tew li:tn
I W e never should hav hm aole tev
fill our state prizons with energetick
men. and our ooor houses with goot
eat4rs, if it want for noble whisket
We never should hav had enny tem
perance sons or society, liordemokratic
oollvticians. nor; prize htes. nor gooa
ihufders, nor phatt aldermen, nor. whis-
kev rinirs. nor nothing, if it want f(r
bhWood whiskee
If it want tor korn how could enny
boddv get kornedV
And if it want for getting kornct
what would life be. worth?
We should all sink down to the level
ov the brutes it it want ior gexiin
korned. 1
The brutes don't git korned, the
y
haint got enny reason nor soul.
We otten hear Of " drunken brutes ;
this is a compliment to oxen whic
don't belong tewi them. ,
Korn also haz; kurnels, and kurne
are often kornedl so are brigadeer
gin-
enns. '
Johnny kake is made out ov korn, so
iz hasty puddin. j L
Hasty puddin and milk iz quick tew
eat.
All you hav got to do iz to gap, anjd
swallo, and that iz the last of the
puddin. '
Kom wras familiar tew antiquity
Joseph waz sent down into Egipt after
som korn, but his brothers didn't waijit
him to go, so they took pitty on .him
and pitted him in a pit. j
When his brothers got back huiiii,
and were asked where Joe waz, they
didn't acknowledge the korn, but lied
sum. . f
It has been proved, that it is wicked
to lie about korn, an enny of the other
vegetables. -
Thare iz this difference betw een lije
ing and sawing wood, it is easier to lie,
espeshly in theshade.. J
Korn has one thing that noboddy
else has got, and that iz a kob. j
' This kob runs thru the middle ov the
korn, and iz as phull ov korn as Job
was ov biles. j:
I alwas feel sorry when I think ov
Job, and wonder how he managed tejw
set down in a chair. ;
Knowing how tew set down square
on a bile, without hurting the chair, iz
one of the lost arts.
Job waz a. card ; he had more pa
shunce, and biles,'-' tew the square inch,
than iz usual. .' f
One hundred and twenty-five akers
ov korn tew the bushel iz konsidered a
good crop, but i have seen more.
I have seen korn sold tor 10 centsi a
bushel, and in sum parts ov the weste
country it iz so much, that thare ain't
no good law against stealing it.
In konklusion, if yu want tew git a
sure kron ov korn. and a good price lor
the kfoo. feed about.4 quarts ov it tew
a shanghai rooster, then murder the
rooster immediately, and sell him for
17 cents a pound, krop and all.
The oldest neAvsnaoer man in the
world. Lewis Doxat, died in Lonelon
recently. Sixty-five. : years ago he Alas
an editor of the Morning Chronicle, the
great daily organ of the Whigs. After
that he conducted the Observer, a lead
ing Sunday paper, for OA'er fifty years
He was born in 1773, and had attaiiied
the pTeat aire of ninetv-eight. - lie was
a narnsranhist at the age of sixteen.
He retained all the faculties of his mind
to the last. -! '
Conversation enriches the understan
ding, but
solitude is the school
Of
genius.
MARK TWAIN.
Don Piatt, who met Mark Twain at
a dinner party in Washington City the
other day, thus sketches the well-known
humorist:
This was m v first
meeting with Mark
I Tsvain. I had seen! his potrait in fflie
uuKixi, ana it gave
me an insane Ktoi
of the humorist.
I recollect when I
was a lxy, that the)
enterprisingi Mons.
I
orfuille in his museum in Cincinnati,
md the hejul- of h murderer named
had the head' of a murderer named
I loover, wIk had been very properly
haiiged preserved in a jar of alcohol,
and on exhibition This woodcut of
Mark Twain looketixto me more like
Hoover's heul thaii anything else, and
was entirely unlike the countenance
that leametl in on us hist night. One
would not pick Mark out from axcroWd
as a humorist; indt-eil, one would not
venture to pick him out as a literary
character at all. lie looks more like a
member of the Ohi(') Legislature (if you
know! what that is)
tlian anything else.
That is, a sort oi a
man who had nar-
rowly escared being made County
Commissioner, and so' was .returned to
the Legislature. He is not only care
less about his clothes, but he U i positive
ly ignorant on the j subject, and loborS
under the impression that the garme nt
that hangs so loosely upon his shoulders
is a coat. From unUer his bushy hair
his face peers out, presenting a square,
well-proportioned forehead, keen gray
eyes, and hooked nose, a-well developed
mouth, exhibiting a good tleal of deci
sion, and a chin that rounds ! out, sup
porting the whole, in no part of which
will you find a particle of the humor
for'wliiehheiselistin'guished. ! His face,
on the contrary, is afsad one, and when
all are. in roars about him he continues
in a state of dense solemnity. : jllis voice
is the most extraordinary voice I ever
heard. It is a cross- between Horace
Greeley and Tim Lincoln. lie drawls
his words out in the most preposterous
manner, that gives a drollery to what
he says utterly beyond description. ,
It is' 'quite impossible for him to pro
iuce in h is conversation a serious effect.
The exctH'dingly dn'll (maihtness of his
solemn countenance, adtletl t) the drawl
of his voice, makes one laugh when the
speaker is really trying to be serious.
For example: 1 had said to him that a
contract to be funny at regular intervals
struck me as rather, heavy, and he re
plied by saying that was so ; while he
might be sufficiently entertaining-to
raise a laugh when! left to himself, it
became dreary stuff I when brought out
in that inanner oil,5 contract "Only
think ,'? said lie, " I knew that confoun
ded -thim? had to be done, and, with a
'dear friend lying' defad before me,-and
nivkvile half'distractcHl over the' loss, I
to tret off niv articles so as not to
sapioiht niv publishers; and when 1
sat down Avith a board and penknife to
I ! it i . f t ,i: j
ngrave tnat nuiu m rans. i um
with a lunivv heart and ma house of
lanientation." Now this was rather a
ssuli incture, and he meant to impress
me! with the sorrow lie had felt, but yet
it reuuired the greatest struggle on riiy
part to refrain from laughing as I heard
it. i 1 felt ashamed at myseii atterwara
for ( Joil knows there is no wnt or humor
in'ithat unhappy story nor did Mr
Clemens':! mean there' should .be, and
vet, like the hommc Qui rit, tlie effect is
always tliere. -
SMALL ENGAGEMENTS.
How much the brightness of Chris
tian honor is dimmed by inatte'iition to
"triiles," has by contrast an illustration
in i the -fi)llowing bit of history:
Sir William Napier was one day tak
ing a long walk near iTeshforct, AVhen
he met a little girt about five years old
sobbing over a broken bowl. She had
fallen Avlfile bringing it from the field
to' which' she had. ''taken her. father's
dinner in it, and she said she would be
beaten for having broken it ; then witn
a sudden gleam of hope, she innocently
lobkeel into his face and said, "But ye
can mend it, can't ye?" Sir William
exnlained that he could not mend the
bowl, but the trouble he could mend by
the gift of a sixpence to buy another.
i However, on opening his purse, it
was empty of siler, and he had i to
make amends to meet his j Httle friend
the same hour next elay, and to bring
the sixpence Avith him, bidding, her.
meanwhile, tell her mother sh0 had
seen a gentleman Avho would bring her
the money for the bowl next day. The
child, entirely trusting him, Aveht on
her way comforted. On his return
home, he found an invitation awaiting
him to cline in Bath, the following
eA'ening) to meet some one whom he
especially wished 'to see. He hesitated
for some little time, trying to calculate
the possibility of giving the meeting to
his little frienel of the broken bowl,
and of still being in time for the dinner
party in Bath ; ' but, finding that this
could not be, he Avrote to decline accept
ing the; invitation, on 'tlie plea of a
" pre-engagement," saying to oneof his
family as he did so, " I can not disap
point her ; she trusted me so implici try. ' '
WHERE IS POUGHKEEPSIE ?
I A Avell known Brooklyn .politician,
noted for his Avaggery,stopped the con
ductor of an Albany-bound train on
which he Avas journeying last winter,
and asked innoeently if tlie next station
was Poughkeepsie
ISTo," said the
conductor. On his next fare-collecting
round, the conductor was; again asked
if the train Avas near Poughkeepsie; to
which he again replied;, negatively.
Again and again, as the official made
his rounds, the same question Avas asked
by the anxious passenger j until at last
the man of cheeks replied Avith some
irritation in his tone: , , ! r
! "No, sir; we are not yet near your
stopping place. Pray trust to me. atjd
1 will let you know when we shall get
'there.":l ! - . ! ' I : ! ".! "!
i The passenger thereupon relapsed
into silence, and the official, engrossed
in other duties, forgot his case until the
train had left Poughkeepsie about a
half a mile to the rear,Vhen recollect
ing himself, he hastly backed the cars
to the station, and rushing up to the
; troublesome passenger, cried out :!
; "This is Poughkeepsie. Hurry up
and get off; We ara behind timet?
i M Oh thank you," deliberately draAvl
ed the quondom questioner ; " but I am
goingthrough. My daughter cautioned
me particularly totaite a pin ai rougn
keepsie. That's all." ,1 j
. The pill AA'as taken and so was the
joke by the passengers.
DON-'PIATt ON
POETRY OF COMMERCE.
Track its hi
for a moment from
the earliest peri
In the infancy of
he Avorld iitstoravans, like gigantic
silkworms, Went creeping through' the
arid wastes of Asia and Africa with
their infinitesimal legs, and bound: the
human family together in those vast
regions as they, bind us together now.
its colonial establishments scattered
the Grecian culture all around ; the
shores of the Mediterranean, and car
ried the adA'enturers of Tyre and Car
thage to the north of , Europe and the
south of Africa. The walled cities of
the mitldle ages prevented the arts and
rehnements or hie from being tramp-
lea out of existence under the iron
heel of th feudal powers. The Hanse-
Towns were the bulwark of liberty and
property in the north and west of Eu
rope for ages. .The germ of the repre
sentative system sprang trom the mu
liicipal franchises of the boroughs.
rt the reA ival of letters the merchant
prinees of Horence receiATed the fugi
tive arts of Greece into their palaces.
The spirit of commercial adventure
produced 'that movement inp the fif
teenth century AVhich carried L Colum
bus' to America aiKLVasco di Gama
around the Cape of'Goqd Hope. The
deep foundations of the modern sys
tem of international law were laid in
interests and rights of commerce, and
the necessity of protecting therriX
va;iiiiuci.c iMiiiiiAii'u cut; ucasuivn.ui
the newly found Indies through the
Western nations ; it nerved the arm of
civil and religious liberty in the Pro
testant Avorld it gradually carried the
colonial system of Europe to the ends
of the earth, and . Avith it the elements
of future inelependent, ciA'ilized repubn
lican governments. But -why shout
Ave dwell on the past ? What js it tha
gives Algor to the civilization of th
present day but the world-wide exten
sion of 'commercial intercourse, by
which all the; products of the earth an
of the ocean: of the soil, the mine of
the loom, of the forge, of bounteous na
ture, creative art anel Untiripg indus
try, are brought by the agencies' o
riTniTior'fp int the ! univeTXiill markei
of elemand and 'supply ? Ko matter in
Avnat region a oesiraoie prcxiuci uer
stoAved on man by a lileral Providence,
or fabricated! by human .skilly it niay
t j i T ii.. .1 L j. i . i .
clothe the hills of China Avith its fra
grant foliagq; it may glitter in the
golden sands of; Caitornia ; t it . may
wallow in the depths of the Arctic
seas: it maAi ripen and Avnnen in tne
plains of the sunny South I; it may
sorinc forth from the flying shuttle of
Manchester in England, or Manchcsh
in America-the great Avorld magnate
of commerce attracts it alike a'njd -gath
ers it all up for the service of mfan.
t PSEUDONYMS.
For the instruction and delectation
of our readers, we-will inform them pf
the proper names of the principal auth
ors Avho Avrite under r various - pseu
elonvms. Of course Arery Icav Avill e'jire
to burden their memories with- this
long list, but it Avill make admirable
scrap-book literature:
Miss Abigail E. Dodge, Gaul Hamilton
Mrs. Elizabeth Akers, Fldrente.PerKy
Myra Daisy McCrum, ! Dajsy JIowaiHt
Miss M. A. Earlie, : Cousin May Carlotbn
Mrs. C. M. Kirland, M.-iry ('lavrs
Charlotte Bronte. I Currer liell
MLss D. M. Mulbck, Auth. of 4 John llalifajx.'
Mrs. Jane Faiton (nee Willis), Fanny Fern
Miss Laura V. Redden, Howard Glyndon
Mrs. Jennie Crol v.. : Jennie Jiine
Miss Miriam Coles, Author of" Rutledge,
Miss Virginia Terhune,
Marion 1 Iarliiiid
Miss Nellie Marshall,
Mrs. E.; A. Warn eld,
Miss Sallie" Shanks,
Miss Agnes Leonard,
Miss Lizzie H. Browne,
Dr. J. (i. Holland,
Wm. S. Newell,
Robert II. Newell, "
P. B. ShiUibar,
Sans Soiu-i
.Bcerhmore'
Kentuckiene
'Mollie Myrtle
Nancv Neute
Timothy Titx-onb
AV . Savage J ortn
Orpheus C. Kierr
Mrs. Partington
Charles F. Brown, !
M. Thompson, Q. K.,
James M. Morris, ;
J. H. Williams,
C. G. Iceland,
Charles A. Poulson,"
Josep h B arber, The
Stephen Masset,
E. Z. C. Judson, .
J. B. Gilmore,
A. H. K. Boyd,
C. M. Dickinson,
Arterims Ward
Phil. Doesticks, Pi P,
K. N. Pepper
j B. Dadd
Maoe Sloper, Esq.
Frank Colliger
Disbanded Volunteer
; Jeemes Pipes
Ned Buntline
Edmund Kirke
Country Parson
Village Schoolmaster
Robert Lytton Bulwer,
Owen Mereaitn
Barry Cornwall
Colly Cibher
William Proctor,
James Rees, !
Donald G. Mitchell,
1k Marvel
D. R. Locke,! Petroleum V. JN as by
Richai G. White. Author ot
the New Gospel of Peace
Charles A. Bristed, , Carl Benson
Dr. S.iJ. Prihie, l Iraneus
Col. Charles P. Halpine, Miss O'Reilly
Mr. Coffin, 1 , - Barry Gary
George W. Curtis, : Harpej's Lounger
F. C. Cozzens, ' Mr. Sparrowgrass
John W. Fornev. Occasional and 1. li.
Matthfiw TT. Smith: .-' ' Burleigh
ATai PtAn Perlev Poore. Perlevand Raconteur
Dr. Johnson! .. i Malakoff
George Arnold, . McArone
CaDtain Derby. Jolin Phoenix
Frank AV. Ballard, j NOrwester
Loud
Brougham's
Poaveu
OF
of
Work. Lord Brougham's
powerj
work, and that universality on which
he so much prided himself, were never
more strongly exhibited than in con
nectlon with the ; Edingburg llepiew
In thfe Arery first number three articles
on totally ! different subjects appear
from his nen : one on "Optics." anoth
er nh "Acerbi's TraA'els." and a third
nn the "The Crisis of the Sugar Colo
nies." ' i , - j
After Lord Brougham came to Lou
don he Avrote to Jeffrey, saying that he
had f occasion for 1,(KK), and desim
him ti let i m have it by return o
post, and article's for the Iteciew to jtha
A-alue should le sent as soon as 'pOssi-
ble.' The 1.UUU wasuuiy renuieu
and in tlie course of six Aveks
Brougham' sent down articles On a jA'ast
A-arietv of subiects. eneiugh to jnaxe up
an entire number of the lleview-Uyne
... .. . i as
or them being on surgical operations
another on a mathematical subject,' anu
a third on the music of the Chinese.
There is apparently no causetco s
igh
for a great lawsuit. tA ri
ghtofAA-ay
case
has iust been decieled at the Kxeter
Assizes, in England, in which the plain
tiff Avas a brother of Sir H. P. Collier,
the Attorney General of Englandl ami
the defendant a clergjanan of the church
of England. The trial lasted three days,
and the costs amounted to about jei.OOO
sterling, and yet, according to thede-
fendant's counsel, the. right of way pouid
haA-e been
purchased for four
pence
a year.
- - i
i
dd.
THAT WHICH KILLED ARTEMUS WARD.
Artemus Ward, anxious to buv hark
the family homestead in which to shel
ter the old age of his Avidowcd mother,
discovered that he could never do it by
making jokes, unless he could sell them
overaud over again. So he tried comic
lecturing. The first night the experi
ment was a failure. A violent storm
of show, sleet, and wind, thinned the
audience in Clinton Hall, , New York
rto such a degree that the lecturer lost
thirty dollars by tlie enterprise. A.
tour in New England, however, had
better results. lie lectured a hunelred
nights, jby which he cleared nearly
eight thousand dollars, and he was soon
able to establish his mother Inthe com
fortable home in which he was born.
I thought I ought not. to conclude
this article without letting the reader
know Avhy this' bright and genial spirit
is no longer here to add to the Avorld's
harmless amusement. .Well, this was
the t reason; Whererer he lectuml,
whether in New England, California.
or London, there was sure to be a knot
of young fellows to gather round him,
and go home with him to his hotel, or
der supper, and spend half the night in
telling stories, and singing songs. To
any man this Avill be fatal in time; but
when the nightly carouse" follows an
eA-ening's performance
before an au-
diencevana is succeeded
by a railroad
journey the next day, the waste of vi-
uuuy is ieariuuy rupiu. r ive years or
such life finished poor Charles Browne.
. 1 1 i 1 . . i it. ' . a j l r a
iieuiei in lXHiuun in io,Hge4 miriy
three years-j and he now lie's buried at
the lion le of his childhood in Maine.
He Avas not a deep drinker. Ile Avas
not a man of strong appetites.' It was
the nights Avasted inconA'ilalityAvhich
his system needed for sleep, that sent
him' to his grax forty 'years lefore his
time. For men of: his profession and
cast of character, for altelitorslj literary
men and artists, there isonly one safety
IVelotalism. He should have taken
the adAlee of a stage driver' on the
Plains, to Avhom he once offerwl soine
whisky ; and I comme'iid it strongly to
the, countless hosts who sen this paper
evvery Avek : . " I don't drink..! 1 Avon't
drniiv : And 1 uon t like to e any-
iMMjy else drink. I'm of the opinion of
these mountains keep your top cool !
They've got snoW, and I've got brains :
that's all tlie difference;" X. York
Ledger.
HIGH-HEELED SHOES.
I)f. William II. Pancoast remarket!
the other day, after performing iv pain-.
lull oitcmtion on an interesting little
girl whose feet had been ruined by . ,
Avearing Avrongly constructed "f0s-,
"this is the - b'eginning of a llarg har
vest of such cases." And what. vw '
can ie expecteiv ii owners wai k ine
streets' Avith heels' em their t units from .
two' and a half to three and a half inches'..
high, and not more than 'an inch in di-'
ameter. and their daugltfers follow he
same bad and barbarous ! practice,' In.
many case's seAe're sirainsof the ankles
' - W A 9 A A
are suuerexi. uut inese are not me
vorst fruits of the high hee'led torture.
he toes are forced against the fore part
of the boot, and sN)n; iK'gin to assume
unnatural positions, j In many cases
they are actually dislocated. j In 'others
the great toe passes under the foot,-the
tendons' harden in that position, and
lameners is contracteKl, for AVhich there
is no cure but the knife. When theiin-;
iurAT ttoes not tase tins lorm it assumes i
other aspects almost as - horrible ami
distressing. There; are thousands of
our young gins tip-Toeing it aiong our
streets to-day, Avho, in a lew years, avim
be cripples if their ' parents do not in
terfere and remOA-ethie cause.' We Avill
have a race of Avonieh almost as help
less, so far as walking is "i-oncerned, as
those of China.- We condemn the prac
tice of Confining the feet of Chinese
children in wooden shoes, and yet .that
practice is no more injurious to the feet
than forcing them mto-a small ooot,
with an Alpine heel.! This is a matter
of grave and serioas imjiort, and hence
we press it upon the mothers and fath
ers of the land. If! they l Avould not
feed the surgical hospitals, and have
groups of maimed daughters, in their
homes, they must commence a crusade
upon high heels. J No father should
have high-heeled boots in his house,
any more than he would keep a vicious !
dog in the parlor. .wnen skiiiiui sur
geons, like Drr Pancoast, from the op
erating room; raise their voices against
high-heeled boots, it is time for old and
young ladies to pause and listen. At
this period, they can choose between -j
high heels and the operating knife. In
a short time, it may be tine latter, or !
permanent lameness. - PldCa. Age, : j
FRANKLIN AND WHITEFIELD-pAN INTER-
ESTING REMINISCENCE.
f
In his biography e
of the
celebrated
Evangelist Whitefild, just published in;
London, Mr. J. P.! Gledstone gives this!
anecdote:- ' J th .' , ' .'.''' !
'It Avas not only the Ignorant and.
excitable that yielded 'to the extraor
dinary fascination of his oratory. No!
shrewder listener ever stexKl in front of
him than the celebrated Benjamin
Franklin; and how little even he , was
able to resist the charm is1 shown by
the amusing story which he tells of
himself. Whitefield had! , consulted'
Franklin about the locality m his; pre-j
posel orphan house, but had refused to
aet on his al vice', and the refusal had t
deitermiiHMl Franklin not to Kubscribe."
I hapiened sNn after,' s;iys Franklin,!
'to attend one of his Hermons, in the
course of which. I 'perceivelhe intend
el to finish with a collection, and I 14
hMitly re-solved ho should get nothing:
from. ine. I had in my jxicket a hand
ful of eopper money, three or four si If
A-er dollars and five pistoles in gohlj'
As he proeee-ded. I began to soften, and
coneluded to give him the eopiKT,1:
Another stroke of his oratory made me
ashamed of that, j ami eletermiricd 'ine
to give the silver ; arid he finished so
Ijdmirably that I emptied my ppekets
Avholly into the , collector's dish, gold
and all.' If any one could .have- re
sistcel the siell, one .would ' haAe
thought it must haAre been Chesterfield;
yet even-of him it is rehded that, on
one occasion when Whitefield Avarf de
scribing a blind man groping his way
unawares toward a pn-cj pice, till' he :
stumbled on the edge in tlie act of
taking the last fatal step oyer, the ieer
could not help springing forward In an
agony from his seat, exclaiming, 'Good
i-irwl I Via ia crnnoV " I
T
i
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