tM'MOiPtrarPOST: $tmfAYt DECEMBER I IQOI
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G AND THE LADY.
"Come here, dear, and pick my pocketbook up at once." ,V;I
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Xow, darling, pick it up."- .Jk .fir,;i.,; j
"Certabdy. Miss." f
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''Good dogde."
Nurse "Far Hit!s safc&f inat are ye
Jlouaie "Ohl .vreto'tofcr Bdman Iflrench airship an' "Willie it- .Santos-Duniont.
"A PATIENT DOCTOR.
She Ma-rried life has, improved young-Dr. Squills very much.
He Yes; he takes it aeccording to directions.
THE - DUDE, THE DO
n-ofn' ?"
"Are you looking for work?" .
"Looking!. I should .say so! In does
eyes peeled fer work or he'll run right
TRUE.' j -
'The jury was out two davs.anrt thn failed to ngree."
'That proves "conclusively that we ouSh.?t to have women juries.'
'Why so T'
'Well, you know a jury of women would have disagreed sooner than that.
8 Affi2i33
Mr. laOi!nff "T i H IX
Mr:DSiiYlierhpha"d
- viea ut he had to sell
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6 3 EC. I3.v
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troublous times a feller has to keep his
into it." ,l ' '
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A NUTSHELL
-n automobile coat,
has automobileto do iU'V
"WISE WILLIE. ' "
Caller "Your sister expects me to stay to supper, doesn't she, Willie?"
Willie "Sure; and she said If you stayed 'as long as you did last night, she
thought she would ask you to stay to
Mr. Hopper I declare, but if this
for an overcoat. ,
"You snv the father madly pursued
"After -two." !
CHRISTMAS PIIOPriXG.
Here's -good fun for. girls and 'boys,"
Taste the candy and buy the toys; - :
Jumping-jack and -fhatrer-hox,
Wooden man an d naier ox;
Rubber doll and dancing cow,
Christmas shoppi ng's line just now,
breakfast." -
weather keeps on Til have to look around
, , -
the eloping couple? Whnt time was it?"
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There once was a careless old chv,-n
Who tore a large rent in. his imwj.
The rent, was in view. '
So the bet thing to do
Was to go away bac kand sit d ",vn
HER S.HANUOT DIAKY
A Lore Story and a Jnarrlace Hitor4
Recorded bj the Camera
'At 'a recent luncheon the subi(.- (,
snapshot diaries came up, and ;i it Ln..
pened three of the eight women n th,,'
table confessed to hnviug such di;inH
Tlie hostess had kept hers for yen in,"
ever since her debut fourteen y.-ar
ago, and after luncheon she yielded rn
persuasion and showed an exjiui-a
edition of it. . V
"It's absurd, of cour.e." she siM
blushing as though she was a school ej,.
instead of the mother of tun snmiv
boys, "but I've a sentiment about sum"
of the pictures places you km.nv aiiJ
things,"
AH the women who had been in ,v
nodded understandingly, but one brnvr.
lor girl looked frankly amused.
The first picture in the book wms a-'
rather blurred little photosrnpli nr :i
pretty girl who looked like a slim younr'.i
er sister of the plump hostess.'
"In my debut gown." explained thy
owner of the book. "-There are tin.
bouquets that, were sent me. 1 earned
this one of pink roses!
"I" quite adored the boy who seat It ta
me and hadn't a doubt that, ae was ilie
most altogether beautiful-being ;n nJ
world:' He did dance like an aiupl anrl
his West Point uniform was more ':had
girl nature could resist.
"Poor did fellow! he's out in Am-mal
now only captain" after all the ycar
"These are all first sensan piiVuvcs?
Heavens! how long ago it all ')
"There my summer at XaiTttsanso'ti
begins. .This i.s my first picture "t' Jack.!
It was taken the day I net him.- . j
"Look like .the human centipede,'
doesn't he? He moved at the wrimg
time. There's a good deal of Jack, af
ter that cay."
There was. Jack was practically:
uliquitous. Few scenes coul i jrt aka -without
him. However, there were
dozens of pictures of the camera's own
er. - !
"Where was Jack?" asked one of the
guests, pointing to a page of feminine
solos. . ..
"Taking the pictures," said the hos
tess, sweetly.
There were others. A fierce looking
hero with a dramatic air had 'given the
camera some exercise.
"The Count," smiled the little woman.'
"Jack loves those ' pictures. He loved
the Count. It was a most exciting epi
sode."
She turned over a page hastily, then1
hesitated, looked dubiously at the other
women and turned back to a picture of
a sandy beach and an overturned boat.
'T don't mind showing it." she said;
definantly. "It's where Jack proposed,
I went back and took it the next dayi
"There were prettier places along thf
shore, but we weren't interested ini
scenery. There were other people in ail
the pretty places, and it was a nice old,
boat to lean against, and well, I'M
fond of that picture." ,
The -engagement pictures presented a.',
Sahara of monotony. Even twelve
years ago, before his hair thinned and
his. waist did the reverse. Jack was ut
sufficiently beautiful to lure an unpre
judiced person through one hundred;
pages of diary photographs. !
With the advent of the wedding party,
the nictures once more became interest!
insr to the general feminine public.
There were flashlight pictures of ant3';
nuptial dinners, snapshots of the bride-
maids' luncheons, of the bridal party,
and all the house guests, of the trous!
seau, of the wedding presents, of th
last bachelor supper, of the weddm;
supper tables, of the 'wedd-iue bouquet,!
of the bride in her wedding finery and,
without her attendants of the church.,
A younger brother had thoughtfully,
contributed even a photograph of the;
trunks, ornamented with white lUr
ribbons.
The first volume of the diary ended;
there, but the camera had evidently;
shared the wedding trip and hmey'
moon, and later had begun . work , pa
the new home. If there was a square;
inch of that home and its fnrnjehitip
and surroundings that hadn't been ptrn-,
tograph&d, the thing was merely
oversight. 1
Jack, and the Irish maid' and a ' leiraj
lAar-k eat shnreil' honors in the pictures.,
The first" guests entertained went iri-oj
the diarv - Kverv star! ling event wa-.
chronicled there.
The Irish maid disappeared' cany
the action and a lonir kaleidoscopic train,
of successors to her trailed through tje,
pages of the diary, mutely suggesting i
possible thorn in the rose collection.
Then, on one page, appeared a, neve,
character. He wasn't much to looh. au
if the photograph can .be trusten. mu.
from' that time on . he donrmiitcu u n
diary. Jack and the maid and
appeared 'only as chorus or backgte ,n-1.,
lie was a most astonishing !;,
he didn't look it. The bacue, -,rr
vawned visibly over his -pic tares. 1
his christening party and his tirt -'.
dothes failed to interest her- j
When a second 'baby made his ifr
shot debut she picked up the tirv-,"''r
nine of the dia:-y and turned hac.
the Count. . "
"Our last wedding anniversary Af
nor," said the hostess as she showei ui
last mounted picture. e tned tu ---f
as many as possible ci the iu-i'iai t'-
together for it. .
Four of the bridesmaids were in tavf
anniversary picture. The' bachelor r
'JJvUCU Ilt-i lfVtt dl. 1 r
bridal party at the wedding supper
laid it beside the later phot.ogra;.ti.
IMt',-. taotc hail liOb lM il
A. tit: X. t:i ill .: " " . ,
iSome of tnf
TTdmnn lrtfiUln" at the two I'i'-i--'
Ji 3
tdghed. softly. .i,
SEthelEg.Wms.fffOrhadveeO thw t-
"(Chicago Tribune.)
"What do you know of tue: - ,
river?" asked the teacher. , fhf
"The Chicago river," rfsor-n'-- -bad
boy of the class, "'is LaU
vermiform anneJ'-'is1 '
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