The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) /
July 17, 1841, edition 1 /
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We speakplain fattsGive ear, O! world f
RALEIGH, N. ci JULY 7,, 1841.
TERMS OJf THE ttASP.
The RASP is published every Satur
day, at One Dollar and Fifty Cents
per annum, payable QJ in advance.
Adrertisementg will be insert
ed in the Rasp, at the reduced price
fifty cents per square for the first
insertion, and twenty jive for each
MARRIAGESrPKO AND CON.
We copy the following from one of
our exchange papers:
Marriage. With all its ilia and
evils, man knows no happiness unTil
he marries; let him possess a woman
of sense and virtue, and of whom he
himself is worthy, and he would feel
a solid and permanent joy, of which
he never was before sensible. For,
as somebody says, . the happiness of
marriage, like the interest of money,
arises from a regular and established
fund; while unmarried libertines live
upun the principal, and become bank-!
rupt in character and respectability, i
To be sure, (as the same author tells
us,) uninterrupted happiness no man;
can or ought to expect. Life is no
sinecure; fruits do not spring spon
taneously from the earth, as they did
in the garden of Eden, nor does manna
drop from the clouds, as it did in the
wilderness. But as a scheme of solid
comfort, matrimony affords to well
regulated minds a double share of
pleasure in, prosperity, and solace in
sorrow and adversity.
F&r Contra. rhe following is from
Blackwood's Magazine,writteu, prob
ably, by some disappointed swain:
Marriage. Look at the great mass
of marriages that take place over the
whole world; what poor contemptible
affairs they are! A few soft looks, a
walk, a dance, a squeeze of the hand,
a popping of the question, a purchas
ing of a certain number of yards of
white satin, a ring, a clergyman, a
stage or two in a hired carriage, a
night in 'a country inn, and the whole
matter is over. For five or six weeks
two sheepish looking persons are seen
dangling on each other's arm,lotking
at water falls, or making morning
calls, and guzzling wine and cakes,
then every thing falls into the most
monotonous routine; the wife sits on
one side of the hearth, the husband on
the other, and little quarrels, little
pleasures, little cares, and little chil
dren, gradually gather around them.'
This is what ninety-nine out of a hun
dred find to be the delights of matri
mony. THE OLD 'UN.
Two passengers, coming down the
Mississippi in a steam-boat, were
shooting birds, etc., on shore from
the deck. Some sportsman converse
ensued, in which one remarked, that
he would turnhis back to no one man
in killing raCKoons; that he had re
peatedly shot fifty a day, 'What 'p
that?' said a Kentuckian; I make no
thing of killing a hundred ''coon a
day, or 'nary luck.' 'Do you know
Capting Scott, of our State? asked a
Teimessean by-stander, 'He now is
something like a shot. A hundred
'coon! Why. he never p'ints, at one,
without bitting him. He never miss
es, and the 'coons know it. T'other
day he levelled at an old 'un,in a high
tree. The varmint looked at him a
minute, and then brawled out:" Hallo,
Cap'n Scott is that you? 'Yes vf as
the reply; Well don't shoot!' says
he; it's no use! 'Hold on I'll come
gown; I give in!' which he did!' It
is unnecessary to add. that this was
the iasMmnting story.
A safe and sound Sleeper. Jerry
Snow very early in the morning, was
awakened by his companion, who said,
'Come, Snow the day is breaking.'
Well,' said Snow, let it break; it
don't owe me any thing.'
' Ladies do yoti hear? Women often
lose the man they love, and who loves
them. ; By mere wantonness of co
quetry they reject, and then repent
tbey should be careful not to take this
step hastily, for a proud, highminded,
gifted man, will seldom ask a woman
Absence of Mind. A fellow walk
ing with a cigar, and smoking his
cane, and not discovering his mis-
take until he ran against a post.
'What is the matter with that man,.
asked a passer-by, as he recognized
a fellow lying in the gutter '.He is
slewed who slew him? 'old Jamai
''Patent Sermons of Vow, Jr."
pear him discourse upon Dandies.
"They are walking sticks for fe-
fealc flirts, ornamented with brass
meads, and barely touched with the
garnish of etiquette. Urass heads,
id I say? Nay, their caputs are only
plf "pe musk melons with monstrous
hick rinds, and all hollow inside,con
iaining the seeds of Foolishness, swim
ming about with a vast quantity of sap.
rfbeir moral erarments arc a double
breasted coat of vanity; padded with
pride, and lined with the. silk of self
complacency; their outer apparel is
all in keeping and imported fresh from
therdevil's establishment. Tinkered
up with broad cloth,finger rings, safety
chains, soft soader, vanity and impu
dence; they are no more silver than a
plated spoon is solid. silver. I detest
a dandy, as a cat docs a ivet floor.-
There are some vain fools in this Vain
world, who, after long incubation will
hatch out from tho hotbed of pride a
sickly brood of fuzzy ideas, and then
go strutting along in the path of pom
posity, with all the self importance of
a speckled hen with a black chicken.
1 have an antipathy to such people."
Gambling away' a Daughter. A
few days since, says the Journal do
la Meuse,an inhabitant at Void,play
ing at billiards, staked the hand of
his only daughter, a handsome girl of
18, against his adversary. The im
prudent father lost, and the winner
has since insisted on payment being
made, claiming the young lady, for
tune and all, or else a sufficient indem
nity. Thedaughter,however, objects
tft the validity of the bargain, and
gaiming debts cannot be enforced by
A cat of extraordinary intelligence,
says Bentley, was lately seen feeding
a kitten with starch,to make it stand
upright! This reminds usof the house
maid who drank a pint of yeast, to
make her rise early in the morning.
The Heigthof Fashion. A dandy
having his pantaloons cut so tight that
he had to take a dose of Brandreth's
pills to work them off
Truth may be expressed without
art or affectation, but a lie stands in
need of both.
A jailor9 s Veraciti.A sailor one
evening, was stopped by a footpad,
who demanded his money, when a
scuffle ensued; the tar took the robber
and bore away his prize to a justice.
When the magistrate" came to enquire
into the nature of the assault, he told
the sailor that he must swear, that the
robber had put him in bodily fear,
otherwise he could not commit him.
The sailor looking steadfastly at the
justice, answered; 'He? he put me in
bodily fear? No, nor any man that
ever lived, therefore, if that is the case
you may let him go, for I'll not swear
to such a lie."
The. greatest wisdom, of speech is
to know when, and whaty and where
to speak the next to it, is silence.
One of the Lowell papers says that
a rifan in that place attempted to make
a plough, and succeeded in making
something resembling one, but it be
ing so ugly he chained ic to an apple
tree, from which it got loose in the
night and killed two Calves, and near
ly destroyed an ox carf.
A teacher once corrected bisschol
Ars, for using the phrase at ail,' and
after stating that it was a useless
phrase, without meaning, said 'indeed
it should never be used at all."
A stingy fellow about passing a toll
bridge, in company with his gal, said
"Come Suke, you must pay your own
toll, for just as like as not. I
have ye after all!"
1 say, Krantz, what does a fellow
look like gallanting a 'gal' home in a
thunder storm? D'ye give it up? Like
a rain-beau to be sure.
Law in the Far West. GentIemen
of the jury,' said a lawyer in defence
of his client, I say, that ere magnani
mous sun shines in the heavens,though
you can't see it, kase it's behind a
cloud; but you know it, though I can't
prove it.. Now, if you believe what
I tell about the sun, you are bound by
your Bible oath to believe what I tell
you about my client's case; aif& if you
don't, why then you call me . a liar;
and that I'll be squataw'd if I'll stand
any how. So, if you don't want to
swear false, and have no trouble,- ydu
had better give us a verdict
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
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