Newspapers / The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) / Feb. 19, 1842, edition 1 / Page 1
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4 " ' r J W. & J. B. WHITAKER, EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. VOUteVlE II NUMBER 4. RALEIGH FEBRUARY 19, 1842. p ' A TO) L o surcu copy, IVE COME, THE HERALD OF 4 JVOISY WORLD. F1 ' t mm. TERMS. The Rasp is published every Saturday morn ing, at Ooe Dollar and Fifty Cents per annum, payable in advance. HJ- Any person sending us six new subscri bers, and the subscription money for one year, shall receive the seventh number free of charge, for the same length ot time. Advertisements conspicuously inserted, at the very reduced price of Fifty Cents per square for the 'first insertion, and Twenty-five Cents for each continuance. How Parson got married to Miss-. Our readers shall have the benefit of a good story that we once heard read. Here it is. Travelling into town one night about dusk, parson had occasion to call at the man sion of an esteemed parishioner, who had a mong other worldly possessions two or three daughters. He had scarce knocked at the door when it was hastily opened by one of these blooming maidens, who as quick as tho't threw her arms around his neck, and before he had time to say 'Oh, don't,' pressed her warm delicate lips to his, and gave him as sweet a kiss as ever heart of swain deserved. In utter astonishment, the wortny divine was endea voring to stammer out something, when the damsel exclaimed, JOh, mercy, mercy! Mr. , is this you? I thought it was my brother Hen ry.' 'Pohawl' thought the parson to himself,you didn't think any such thing.' But taking her hand, he said in a forgiving tone, 'there is no harm done. Dont give yourself any uneasi ness; though you ought to be a little more care ful. ' After this gentle reproof, he was ushered into the parlor by the maiden, who, as she came to the light, could not conceal the deep blush that flowed upon her cheek; while the banquet that was pinned upon her bosom,shook like a flower garden in an earthquake. And when he rose to depart, it somehow tell to her lot to wait upon him to the door; and it may be added, that in the entry they held discourse together for some minutes on what subject it is hot for us to say. As the warm hearted pastor plodded home wards he argued with himself in this wise: 'Miss knew it was me who knocked at the door, or how did she recognise before I spoke? And is it probable that her brother would knock before entering"! She must be desperately in -pshaw! Why, if she loves a brother at that rate, how must she love her husband; for, by the great squash, I never felt such a kiss in my life!' Three weeks after the above incident, Par son Was married to Miss . 'Mine got ! what will de Frenchmen make next?' as the Dutchman sai3, the first time he ever saw a monkey. The following parental appeal in the shape of an advertisement, is copied from an English paper: 'If this should njeet the eye of Emma D s, who absented herself last Wednesday from her father's house, she is implored to return, when she will be met with undiminished love by her almost broken hearted parents. If, how ever, nothing can persuade her to listen to their joint appeal should she never mean to revi&it a home where she has passed so many happy years, it is at least expected, if she be not to tally lost to all sense of propriety, that she will without a moment's further delay stnd back the key of the tea caddy.1 Sober Soaker. One who drinks temper ately, moderately, occasionally, fashionably,, genteelly, politely, tastefully, liberally, com fortably, happily, coldly, warmly, nicely, rich ly, poorly, and finally, insensibly. NEW YORK POLICE. Before Justice Merril December 31. John Smith, Jr. not of Ar-kansas,but of Pearl street, was brought up for kicking up a row m the street. Judge. Mr. Smith, what is your business, sir? what do you follow for a livelihood? Smith. Nothing particular. Judge. You do not appear to be a man of property; how do you get your bread? Smith. I sometimes get it of Mr. Taylor,the baker, sir; and sometimes Judge. Stop, sir; understand my question, how do you support yourself? Smith. On a chair, sir, in the day time on a bed at night. Judge. I do not sit here to trifle, sir. Are you a mechanic ? Smith. No, sir. Judge. If you do not answer me, I will have you taken care of. Smith. I would thank your honor to do it the timers are so hard that I cannot take care of myself. Judge. You work around the wharves,I sup pose. Smith. No, sir; you cant't get around the wharves without a boat, aud I do n't own one. Judge. I believe you are an idle vagabond. Smith. Your honor is very slow of belief, or you would have f'ouLd that out before. Judge. Mr. Smith, you are charged with dis turbing the peace. Smith. As I am a very peaceable man, it is quite natural that such things should be put to my 'account.' , Judge, I fine yoa two dollars. Smith. It would afford me feelings of the highest gratification to find half the money. Judge. Can you pay the money? Smith. If your honor will lend me the a mount. Judge. Officer, take him away. Smith. I am very much obliged to you. 1 will call on you 'New Yea "s da.' l3r An address signed by sixty thousand names, among which a.e O'Connel and Father Matthews, had just reached Boston. It calls earnestly upon all Irishmen in this country to make common cause with the American Abo litionists. It is in MS. and will be published in a feu week. A negro by the name of Re- tnond is the bearer of this paper- (Maine Cultivator. If the above be true, we think the signers of the address had better attend to their starved and enslaved fellow countrymen at home; they need assistance more than the well fed, and well clothed negroes of the South. Besides, would it be politic for the Irishmen in this country to make 'common cause with the A merican Abolitionists?' We think not. Philadelphia Chron. TEMPERANCE. Come old and young, come rich and poor, Come take your pledge 'till you insure: Large streams from little fountains flow, Great sots from moderate drinkers arrow. " r The precosity of genius. Scene in a gram mar school. Master Compare the adjective cold. Robert. Positive, cold comparative.cough superlative, coffin. Master.-That's a good boy, Bojbby. The reason why. Almost every thing con sumed in a family, now commands exorbitant prices, except crpara, of which, by the way, there is none. Inquiring of our milkman the reason of jts scarcity, he satisfied our query by saying that 'milk has riz so tarnal high that cream can't reach the top !' FIRE! Fayetteville, Feb. 12. Our Town was again disturbed, on Tues day night last, by the cry of fire. About six o'clock, the Planter's Hotel, occupied by Mrs. Ann Brown, was discovered to be on fire, but before the alarm became very general, three colored men, Isaac Scott, Eccles' John and Carver's John, had mounted the roof and sub dued the fire, so that by the time the Engines got there, the fire was out. In consideration of their meritorious services, the citizens have presented the three men with a new suit of broadcloth each. ANOTHER. About 2 o'clock on Thursday night, the old Methodist Church, and two adjoining houses, were burnt to the ground; they were fortunate ly near the surburbs of the Town. D.B.Keelyn has been arrested and committed to stand trial for the incendiary ism. Carolinian. IT WON'T DO. It wont do to do a great many things in this world, for instance: It wont do to denounce false teeth in the presence of dentists, nor in the presence of bid maids who have not had a sound tooth in their heads for a quarter of a century. It wont do to talk about horn flints & wood en nutmegs when there are Connecticut Yan kees about. It wont do to eat soup with a two pronged fork, or roast beef with a spoon, when anxious to dine in great haste. It wont do to pull a man's cose until you are fully satisfied he has not spunk enough to re sent it by blowing your brains out. It wont do for a fellow who is so drunk that he cannot see a hole through a ladder, to at. tempt to stand on top of a lamppost or fire plug, and make a speech to the multitude. It wont do to throw off flannel shirts on a warm day ia January, in full belief that there will be no more cold weather until another winter. It wont do to go too near the hindheels of a jackass, that has been taught to kick at stran gers. It wont do for a man to undertake to drown himself when he is inthe last stage of hydro phobia. It wont do for a man to bump his head a gainst a stone will, unless he is completely convinced that his bead ts the hardest. Finally it wont do to draw the conclusion that our stock of 'it wont do's' is exhausted, just because we happen to think it woat do to give our readers a larger does at this time. Telescope. A savage threat. Two gentlemen met in New Orleans lately. After shaking bands,one of them said: 'You must teil your brother, Mr. Smith, that he must be careful how he regu latas his conduct towards me. He met me yesterday in the Merchant's Exchange, and in the presence of many gentlemen, called mc a liar, thief, puppy, scoundrel, and cow'ard, and then pulled my nose and kicked me to the door. You may tell yoor brother that if he carries the thing much farther he will arouse a spirit which is not easily put to rest, l snail not submit to every provocation.' Of all kinds of lying, the most viscious is lying abed late in the morning. If any one does me a favor, without the least expectation of reward, though it should after wards be in my pawer to. do ten times more foi that person, I can repay the original obli gation, for its nature does not admit of any recompense, but remains in full force. r,To (jure a Cold. Mcst generally a cold may be relieved in one night's lime, by drink ing a pint of tea made from the dry loose bark of the scaly hickory. A vomit frequently gives relief. Agriculturist. ISA- Mr. Editor A gal has sent me the follow ing morceau: 'This lock of hare I once did ware, But now I trust it to your car: And if we now (no) more each outcher se, Then look at this, and think on me.' Hartshoin was administered, and I am now convalescent. The Philadelphia Times says that old bach elors are good, hut crusty nice, but slovenly loving, but hateful polite, but disagreeable they present a galvanized paradox, an elec trified contradiction. kfnee on a time when a Dutchman and a Frenchman were travelling in Pennsylvania, their horse lost a shoe. They drove up to a blacksmith's shop, and no one being in, they proceeded to the bouse to inquire. The French- man rapped and called out, 'Is de smitty mit ten?' Shtand pack,' says Hans, 'let me shpeak. Ish der placksmit's shop in der house!' 'Have you seen Capin Fete?' asked a black fellow on the wharf at Perth Amboy. 'Capin Pete, who the deuce is he?' 'Why he's the gemmin that sleeps in Miss Nidd's barn, and goes with his eyes out, and his nose in a sling,and his elbow all over mud, and a loaf of bread sticking out of his pocket.' A fellow being covered with rags and dress ed in five jackets, all of which failed to conceal his raggedness, bolted into a store on Exchange st. the other day with the exclamation of, Worse than I look by ! 'Well, I'va let myself for $14 a month, and find myself.' 'To do what,' asked the man of the estab lishment.' ' 'To stand on the coruer of a Paper Mill sign 'Cash for rags ,' that's all !' What ever made you marry that dowdy,said a mother to her son. 'Because v ou always told' me to pick a wife like my mother,' was the dutiful reply. . Ifthe very consciousness of being capable of duplicity does not degrade you in your own eyes, you must be lost to every noble feeling of nature. Never appear to others what yoa are not. A clockmaker at Copenhagen has invented a clock which at the end of every twenty-four hours, indicates the average temperature of the preceeding day. There was an ancient superstition that upon the wings of that devouring insect, the Iocnst was written in Chaldee language, the words bote Guion the scourge of God. S There is a boy in Dedharn so very cross eyed, that he can look around his own head ! A highway robber shot. A highway robber, was shot dead near-Wellsborough, Tioga co., last week, by a traveller whom he attempted to rob. The traveller, on looking at bis pistol discovered that the charge had Wen removed- r ; at the tavern where be put up, and the. pistol stuffed with bian. This excited his $aspiciobjV1 and he put something more substantial jn to his weapons. On his way he was attacked.' fired, shot the robber, and then discovered the latter was his landlord of the prev''"" fn. Baltimore Republican i. . .... - - . .
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
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Feb. 19, 1842, edition 1
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