The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) /
April 2, 1842, edition 1 /
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W. & J. Ii. WIIITAKKK.
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
VOLUMEII. NUMBER 10.
RALEIGH, APRIL 2, 1842.
WE COME, THE HERALD
OF Jl JVOIS Y WORLD.
The Rasp is published every Saturday morn
ing, at One Dollar and Fifty Gents per annum,
payable in advance. --i-
Any person sending us six new subscri
bers, and the subscription money for one year
shall receive the seventh number free of charge
for the same length of time.
Advertisements conspicuously inserted, at
the very reduced price of Fifty Cents per square
for the first insertion, and Twenty-five Cents
for each continuance.
For the Rasp.
THE BACHELOR'S LOVE-STORY.
BY UNCLE HAL.
'T was on the evening of the 2d of March, an
evening uncommonly mild, beautiful and se
rene, for the season of the year an
made glorious by the setting sun, darting his
reflugent rays from the western horizon,whilst
from the east, the paie but silvery moon, re
flected back its rays with melancholy sweet
ness, that I was sitting in my lonely Cottage,
meditating with pensive mein, the dull, moncH
tonousiife of an old Bachelor. Fired by such
thoughts and unwilling still for one moment to
harbor the presumption that my life would
pass away without enjoying for a time at least,
the delicious sweets of matrimony, I was only
v aiting for the preparation of my usual cupof
tea, in order that I might by a moonlight walk
drive the stupour, the inactivity which my
thoughts had brought upon me from my mind.
Having at length procured my evenings bever
age, and partaken of my usual quantum of
food, I determined on a walk, and on introdu
cing myself i nto the presence ol her majesty
of the night,
'Methought 'twas but the day light sick,
"It looked but little paler,"
Whilst the silver visasje of the moon waded
its way through the cloudless skies, where I
could count each little star; 'twas in fact such
a night as that, in which the Fairies delight
to wing their flight from the serial spheres, and
descending to earth, perforin their deeds of
magic and of love.
Proceeding at quite a gradual pace, and gaz
ing with astonishment, wonder and delight,
upon the beautiesof nature, my ear unconscious
ly caught the sound of a guitar, the chords of
which were swept across with such dulcet
and pensive sweetness, that I indeed thought
that Ariel, that beautiful wanderer of the night
had descend from his chrystal throne, that by
the sweetness of his music and beauty of his
voice,fhe might, syrene-like, allure the passer
by into snares and difficulties he wot not of.
On my nearer approach, however, I very
distinctly heard the Seraphic voice pronounce
the following stanzas, which, recollecting as I
did, to be those, that in by gone days, I had
sent to one who was my hearts first, fond love,
and for wnich I had long repented, y&u raav
guess my surprise:
I've loved thee, for I thought thee pure,
As yon blue cloudless sky above,
And of thy heart, felt so secure,
I did not doubt thy seeming love.
I've loved thee thought the void of guile
Friends, kindred, all, I gave for thee, '
For ah. the witchery of thy smile,
Had bound my soul in ecstacy.
I've loved thee! but the charm is gone,
My dream of love and bliss is o'er;
My hopes like morning beams have flown,
And we must part to meet no more!
I've loved thee, more, than tongue can tell,
But ne'er again must sigh for thee,
I know thy fickle heart too well.
To mourn for thy inconstancy.
You can't half guess rav feelings, at the
close cf this impressive lay, and what to do, 'I
could'nt tell.' Must I go back? No, that will
never do, but ii I proceed and should meet the
lair being I had so much injured I could never
look her in the face, and whilst resolving what
to do, I cast my eyes above me, and iliere be
held the Star of my destiny, ps. it were, peer
ing into my very soul. Dazzled or rather a
bashed at the sight, I vociferated, 1'm a case;
I'm a gone coon!' but what was I to do 1
was like the poor sailor passing between Scyl-
la and Charebdes, if I went to the right I was
dashed to pieces on the rocks, if to the left, I
was certainly a 'gone sucker,' for if appeared
I almost heard the gurgling sound of themaJe
stfoom as my body was being drawn from the
eddy in vvhich it had slumbered so long, and
safely, down to the very depths of the eternal
Now I tell you what, I felt all over in dutch
spots, but plucking up courage and striking up
one of my old fashioned tunes to keep my spir
its up, I proceeded onward with that delight
Oh! my wife she's got a red, red nose,
An eye line the full moon;
Her voice is like an old cracked fiddle
When completely out of tune.
Having, by this time gotten some 50 yards
farther in advance, the forms of two beings
that appeared almost unearthly, there was such
order, such beauty of form, such roundpess of
proportion, that the sculpter might well be
proud of such by which to form his Venus
Medicis, in fact, the easy outline of her figure,
as she gazed upon the moon, might have vied
with the choisest efforts of art; yet her attitude
was so perfectly natural, so mingled with grace
and simplicity, that it was like that of a lovely
child in one of its moments of transient repose.
The sound of mv foot stens arroused her from
her reverie, and never before did I behold a
more beautiful creature. She was still in the ,
spring of life, and apparently had never known j
an hour of that withering autum which strips
us of our green friendship. Tall and elegant,
she had acquired that form which artists cali
contour; and can you olame me for falling
love with such an angel? Certainly not.
i leu a nine queer, ii you nau seen
Fun. Eating when you are not
drinking bad wine, when your head aches, and
you feel like a foolj playing brag till, you lose
all your money, and going home in a drizzling
rain; to wake up the next morning to repent
ance, a sick stomach, and a scolding wife.
This is fun.
Saw-dust pills are said to be an excellent
remedy for the dyspepsia, if taken in a wood
shed and digested over a wood horse.
Temperance. Our friends in the cause must
not take the following as a reflection upon their
noble undertaking. There are dull speakers in
politics, law and religion and why not in
temperance. It is a fair jeux d'esprit, and, as
Mrs. Malapiop would say, 'entirely original.'
We belive the writer takes a glass of brandy
and water once and a while :
A temperance orator upon a cart,
Before a gaping crowd displayed his art.
Close by a donkey made a sudden bray,
Which led a pcrticn of the crowd that way
A stranger at the moment passing by,
Enquired whv two such crowds were gatheied
'Faith,' answered Paddy, ' 'tis a bet, they say,
Which of two asses can the loudest bray !'
SONG OF THE HENPECKED.
O her hair is dark as the midnight wave,
And her eye is like kindling fire;
And her voice is sweet as the spirit's voice,
That chords wiih the seraph's lyre.
But her nails are sharp as a toasting fork,
And her arms as strong as a bear's :
She pulled my hair and she gouged my eye,
And she kicked me down the stairs.
you'd have thought me 'one that had just come
from the moon.' Bdt my letter is long enough.
Allow me time, and Uncle Hal will finish his
love story next week.
'What are you doing there, ycu black scoun
drel?' said a gentleman to a negro, whom he
found prowling about his premises.
'Then take something, and be off.' The
something was half a dozen lashes with a horse
whip, well laid on.
Gasparino, a celebrated Italian bandit, who
acknowledged to one hundred and fifteen mur
ders out of one hundred and fifty of which he
was accused, covered himself with sacred re
lies, crucifixes and images of the Virgin, and
was so pious withal, that he made it a rule
never to cut a man's throat on a Friday.
'The most solemn of birds,' says an ancient
proverb, 'is an owl the most solemn of fishes,
an oyster the most solemn of beasts an ass
the most solemn ol men ass also.'
Why is England like a celebrated
medicine ? Because it is British yile.
'I understand your drift?
when he piledup the snow.
as Boreas said
's maue ol class.
a wis that's new-
T'cro rrpf on oiro 1 T n ?
And I've pfot me
The wig is frizzled m coikscrew curls,
And the eye is a clouded blue.
She may shake her knuckles full in my
And put the lamp to my beard;
And hold the broomstick over my head,
But I'm not a bit afeard.
From the N. Y. Sunday Mercury. I
Any body who has on hand poetry that is
partly worn out, damaged, or needs repairing
in any way, can have it run through my Ma
chine for a mere trifle. It will come out as
rood as new. Look at this for instance :
"O'er mortal hearts two Cupids reign,
Of both was Venus mother;'
The one is proud, the other vain,
You can't tell one from t'other.
'The younger, whom men latest kneV,
To earth belongs not heaven';'
His eyes are gray, his wings are blue,
And tootles he has seven.
'With Beauty's locks he plumes his dart,
But, some say, oftener far,'
He drives it naked through the heart,
Then hides the Lord knows whar.
His breath from Heaven the other drew,
And still he rules on high;'
And oft he sticks his finger through
That star-hole in the sky.
'They err who deem this god hath wingsi
Or Time, his claims can sever;'
WThere'er on earth a kiss he flings,
A grease-spot's there forever !
An v more noetrv to be heel-tapped? If there
-i j - -
is, brinij it on.
For I've bound her over to keep the peace,
And I've bought me a crabtree cane,
The justice will come, and the constable too,
If she meddles with me again.
My head was a week in a linen cap,
And my eye a month in a patch;
I never thought that the torch of love
Would light such a biimstone match !
o - . r
O his face is as red as the dog day sun,
In a misty sunset sky;
And the tip of his nose is a burning coal,
You might light your candle by.
'S ,' says a gentleman, 'Miss , of Le-
roy place, wishes to make your acquaintance.'
'Dam'd glad to hear it fine girl struck
with my appearance, I suppose, eh ?'
'Yes, very much so. She thinks you'd make
a capital playmate for her poodle dog.''
Whether the gentleman was the individual
known as the 'lap dog of Waverly place we
are unable to say.
T-Tic PlA Wnc (Tfinnroit Kir o i wn mmrt iticr
That cracked across his nose:
And his other has taken a rainbow hue,
From his pot companions' blows.
He blundered against the red hot grate,
And the grate returned the blow;
And the lamp that singed his grisly beard,
Was the Lehigh coal below.
I've emptied his bottles liquor, free
As the flow of autumn rain:
And the sheriff will come, and the jailor too,
If he hlla them up again.
He has lost his scalp he has lost his eye,
And his face is giim with blows;
And the early light of love hath changed
To the light of a tippler's nose.
' Trying times,' as the loafer said on enter
ing the Criminal Court.
'Are you asleep?' said a lady to her surly
husband, after getting his breakfast ready.
Be off and don't bother me,' said the
citizen, 'il I was asleep, I would'nt tell you.'
U3 A writer in a Texas paper
romantic youth, no doubt gives the subjoined,
very short account of one of his love scrapes:
We have rarely seen so much told in a few
worJs: 'I once pressed the delicate hand df
an Arabian maid gazed intently and passion
ately at her large, languishing, and lustrous
eyes whispered love sentiments in her pre
sence; when, after listening patiently until I
was in raptures, expecting an avowal of a re
ciprocal tender passion, she raised'her pretty
foot, and gave me an almighty kick in the short
ribs ! I was honey fuggled that time.'
H33 What do you think of a young ladjh
whose ips are so sweet that she is obliged to
wear a veil, whenever she goes into a garden,
to protect them from the bees !
A New Business, The Yankee whalemen
have quit searching for whales, and gone in
pursuit of iceburgs. Ice creams will he more
in demand next summer than spe'rmacetti.
OUR AGENTS - X , -Mr.
John W. Justice Forestville.
Mr. Robert C. Hay, Newbern, -Mr.
L. H. Royster, "Washington, N. 0.
Mr. David H: Holland, Smithfield.
Mr. Isaac B. Kelly, Kenansville.
Mr. Wra. ShaUding, Goldsboro.
Mr. D. D. Phillips, Hillsboro.'
Mr. A. Cox, Martha's Vineyard Chatham.
Mr. Henry, Miller, Halifax, N. C.
flj The above gentlemen are full? anthor
ised to receive monies for the Rasp. ancLgire
receipts in the name ol the Editors.
. . i
I; . &
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
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