Newspapers / The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) / April 2, 1842, edition 1 / Page 1
Part of The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
r i W. & J. Ii. WIIITAKKK. EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. i I t VOLUMEII. NUMBER 10. RALEIGH, APRIL 2, 1842. SINGLE COPT, WE COME, THE HERALD OF Jl JVOIS Y WORLD. five ciirrs. -b TERMS. The Rasp is published every Saturday morn ing, at One Dollar and Fifty Gents per annum, payable in advance. --i- Any person sending us six new subscri bers, and the subscription money for one year shall receive the seventh number free of charge for the same length of time. Advertisements conspicuously inserted, at the very reduced price of Fifty Cents per square for the first insertion, and Twenty-five Cents for each continuance. For the Rasp. THE BACHELOR'S LOVE-STORY. BY UNCLE HAL. 'T was on the evening of the 2d of March, an evening uncommonly mild, beautiful and se rene, for the season of the year an evening made glorious by the setting sun, darting his reflugent rays from the western horizon,whilst from the east, the paie but silvery moon, re flected back its rays with melancholy sweet ness, that I was sitting in my lonely Cottage, meditating with pensive mein, the dull, moncH tonousiife of an old Bachelor. Fired by such thoughts and unwilling still for one moment to harbor the presumption that my life would pass away without enjoying for a time at least, the delicious sweets of matrimony, I was only v aiting for the preparation of my usual cupof tea, in order that I might by a moonlight walk drive the stupour, the inactivity which my thoughts had brought upon me from my mind. Having at length procured my evenings bever age, and partaken of my usual quantum of food, I determined on a walk, and on introdu cing myself i nto the presence ol her majesty of the night, 'Methought 'twas but the day light sick, "It looked but little paler," Whilst the silver visasje of the moon waded its way through the cloudless skies, where I could count each little star; 'twas in fact such a night as that, in which the Fairies delight to wing their flight from the serial spheres, and descending to earth, perforin their deeds of magic and of love. Proceeding at quite a gradual pace, and gaz ing with astonishment, wonder and delight, upon the beautiesof nature, my ear unconscious ly caught the sound of a guitar, the chords of which were swept across with such dulcet and pensive sweetness, that I indeed thought that Ariel, that beautiful wanderer of the night had descend from his chrystal throne, that by the sweetness of his music and beauty of his voice,fhe might, syrene-like, allure the passer by into snares and difficulties he wot not of. On my nearer approach, however, I very distinctly heard the Seraphic voice pronounce the following stanzas, which, recollecting as I did, to be those, that in by gone days, I had sent to one who was my hearts first, fond love, and for wnich I had long repented, y&u raav guess my surprise: I've loved thee, for I thought thee pure, As yon blue cloudless sky above, And of thy heart, felt so secure, I did not doubt thy seeming love. I've loved thee thought the void of guile Friends, kindred, all, I gave for thee, ' For ah. the witchery of thy smile, Had bound my soul in ecstacy. I've loved thee! but the charm is gone, My dream of love and bliss is o'er; My hopes like morning beams have flown, And we must part to meet no more! I've loved thee, more, than tongue can tell, But ne'er again must sigh for thee, I know thy fickle heart too well. To mourn for thy inconstancy. You can't half guess rav feelings, at the close cf this impressive lay, and what to do, 'I could'nt tell.' Must I go back? No, that will never do, but ii I proceed and should meet the lair being I had so much injured I could never look her in the face, and whilst resolving what to do, I cast my eyes above me, and iliere be held the Star of my destiny, ps. it were, peer ing into my very soul. Dazzled or rather a bashed at the sight, I vociferated, 1'm a case; I'm a gone coon!' but what was I to do 1 was like the poor sailor passing between Scyl- la and Charebdes, if I went to the right I was dashed to pieces on the rocks, if to the left, I was certainly a 'gone sucker,' for if appeared I almost heard the gurgling sound of themaJe stfoom as my body was being drawn from the eddy in vvhich it had slumbered so long, and safely, down to the very depths of the eternal whirlpool. Now I tell you what, I felt all over in dutch spots, but plucking up courage and striking up one of my old fashioned tunes to keep my spir its up, I proceeded onward with that delight ful parody, Oh! my wife she's got a red, red nose, An eye line the full moon; Her voice is like an old cracked fiddle When completely out of tune. Having, by this time gotten some 50 yards farther in advance, the forms of two beings that appeared almost unearthly, there was such order, such beauty of form, such roundpess of proportion, that the sculpter might well be proud of such by which to form his Venus Medicis, in fact, the easy outline of her figure, as she gazed upon the moon, might have vied with the choisest efforts of art; yet her attitude was so perfectly natural, so mingled with grace and simplicity, that it was like that of a lovely child in one of its moments of transient repose. The sound of mv foot stens arroused her from her reverie, and never before did I behold a more beautiful creature. She was still in the , spring of life, and apparently had never known j an hour of that withering autum which strips us of our green friendship. Tall and elegant, she had acquired that form which artists cali contour; and can you olame me for falling love with such an angel? Certainly not. i leu a nine queer, ii you nau seen Fun. Eating when you are not hungry drinking bad wine, when your head aches, and you feel like a foolj playing brag till, you lose all your money, and going home in a drizzling rain; to wake up the next morning to repent ance, a sick stomach, and a scolding wife. This is fun. Saw-dust pills are said to be an excellent remedy for the dyspepsia, if taken in a wood shed and digested over a wood horse. Temperance. Our friends in the cause must not take the following as a reflection upon their noble undertaking. There are dull speakers in politics, law and religion and why not in temperance. It is a fair jeux d'esprit, and, as Mrs. Malapiop would say, 'entirely original.' We belive the writer takes a glass of brandy and water once and a while : A temperance orator upon a cart, Before a gaping crowd displayed his art. Close by a donkey made a sudden bray, Which led a pcrticn of the crowd that way A stranger at the moment passing by, Enquired whv two such crowds were gatheied nigh? 'Faith,' answered Paddy, ' 'tis a bet, they say, Which of two asses can the loudest bray !' SONG OF THE HENPECKED. O her hair is dark as the midnight wave, And her eye is like kindling fire; And her voice is sweet as the spirit's voice, That chords wiih the seraph's lyre. But her nails are sharp as a toasting fork, And her arms as strong as a bear's : She pulled my hair and she gouged my eye, And she kicked me down the stairs. in me you'd have thought me 'one that had just come from the moon.' Bdt my letter is long enough. Allow me time, and Uncle Hal will finish his love story next week. 'What are you doing there, ycu black scoun drel?' said a gentleman to a negro, whom he found prowling about his premises. 'Nothing, Massa.' 'Then take something, and be off.' The something was half a dozen lashes with a horse whip, well laid on. Gasparino, a celebrated Italian bandit, who acknowledged to one hundred and fifteen mur ders out of one hundred and fifty of which he was accused, covered himself with sacred re lies, crucifixes and images of the Virgin, and was so pious withal, that he made it a rule never to cut a man's throat on a Friday. 'The most solemn of birds,' says an ancient proverb, 'is an owl the most solemn of fishes, an oyster the most solemn of beasts an ass the most solemn ol men ass also.' Why is England like a celebrated medicine ? Because it is British yile. patent 'I understand your drift? when he piledup the snow. as Boreas said 's maue ol class. a wis that's new- T'cro rrpf on oiro 1 T n ? And I've pfot me The wig is frizzled m coikscrew curls, And the eye is a clouded blue. She may shake her knuckles full in my And put the lamp to my beard; And hold the broomstick over my head, But I'm not a bit afeard. face, From the N. Y. Sunday Mercury. I MACHINE POETRY. PATCH WORK. Any body who has on hand poetry that is partly worn out, damaged, or needs repairing in any way, can have it run through my Ma chine for a mere trifle. It will come out as rood as new. Look at this for instance : "O'er mortal hearts two Cupids reign, Of both was Venus mother;' The one is proud, the other vain, You can't tell one from t'other. 'The younger, whom men latest kneV, To earth belongs not heaven';' His eyes are gray, his wings are blue, And tootles he has seven. 'With Beauty's locks he plumes his dart, But, some say, oftener far,' He drives it naked through the heart, Then hides the Lord knows whar. His breath from Heaven the other drew, And still he rules on high;' And oft he sticks his finger through That star-hole in the sky. 'They err who deem this god hath wingsi Or Time, his claims can sever;' WThere'er on earth a kiss he flings, A grease-spot's there forever ! An v more noetrv to be heel-tapped? If there -i j - - is, brinij it on. Stoons. For I've bound her over to keep the peace, And I've bought me a crabtree cane, The justice will come, and the constable too, If she meddles with me again. My head was a week in a linen cap, And my eye a month in a patch; I never thought that the torch of love Would light such a biimstone match ! o - . r THE REPLY. O his face is as red as the dog day sun, In a misty sunset sky; And the tip of his nose is a burning coal, You might light your candle by. 'S ,' says a gentleman, 'Miss , of Le- roy place, wishes to make your acquaintance.' 'Dam'd glad to hear it fine girl struck with my appearance, I suppose, eh ?' 'Yes, very much so. She thinks you'd make a capital playmate for her poodle dog.'' Whether the gentleman was the individual known as the 'lap dog of Waverly place we are unable to say. T-Tic PlA Wnc (Tfinnroit Kir o i wn mmrt iticr That cracked across his nose: And his other has taken a rainbow hue, From his pot companions' blows. He blundered against the red hot grate, And the grate returned the blow; And the lamp that singed his grisly beard, Was the Lehigh coal below. I've emptied his bottles liquor, free As the flow of autumn rain: And the sheriff will come, and the jailor too, If he hlla them up again. He has lost his scalp he has lost his eye, And his face is giim with blows; And the early light of love hath changed To the light of a tippler's nose. ' Trying times,' as the loafer said on enter ing the Criminal Court. 'Are you asleep?' said a lady to her surly husband, after getting his breakfast ready. Be off and don't bother me,' said the citizen, 'il I was asleep, I would'nt tell you.' gallant a "most U3 A writer in a Texas paper romantic youth, no doubt gives the subjoined, very short account of one of his love scrapes: We have rarely seen so much told in a few worJs: 'I once pressed the delicate hand df an Arabian maid gazed intently and passion ately at her large, languishing, and lustrous eyes whispered love sentiments in her pre sence; when, after listening patiently until I was in raptures, expecting an avowal of a re ciprocal tender passion, she raised'her pretty foot, and gave me an almighty kick in the short ribs ! I was honey fuggled that time.' H33 What do you think of a young ladjh whose ips are so sweet that she is obliged to wear a veil, whenever she goes into a garden, to protect them from the bees ! A New Business, The Yankee whalemen have quit searching for whales, and gone in pursuit of iceburgs. Ice creams will he more in demand next summer than spe'rmacetti. OUR AGENTS - X , -Mr. John W. Justice Forestville. Mr. Robert C. Hay, Newbern, -Mr. L. H. Royster, "Washington, N. 0. Mr. David H: Holland, Smithfield. Mr. Isaac B. Kelly, Kenansville. Mr. Wra. ShaUding, Goldsboro. Mr. D. D. Phillips, Hillsboro.' Mr. A. Cox, Martha's Vineyard Chatham. Mr. Henry, Miller, Halifax, N. C. flj The above gentlemen are full? anthor ised to receive monies for the Rasp. ancLgire receipts in the name ol the Editors. . . i I; . & ! X r ii 1. : 4 - 1.
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 2, 1842, edition 1
1
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75