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W. & J. B. WHITAKER,
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
VOLUME II. NUMBER 11.
RALEIGH, APRIL 9, 1842.
A
SINGLE COPY ,3
"WE COME, THE HERALD OF A JVOISY WORLD.
five cehts.
TERMS.
The Rasp is published every Saturday morn
ing, at One Dollar and Fifty Cents per annum
payable in advance.
H3 Any person sending us sixnew subscri
bers, and the subscription money for one year
shall receive the seventh number free ot charge
for ihe same length ot time.
Advertisements conspicuously inserted, at
the very reduced price of Fifty Cents per square
for the first insertion, and Twenty-five Cents
for each continuance.
THE FUKLOUGH,
AN IRISH ANECDOTE.
In the auturrn of 1825 some private affairs
called me into the sister kingdom; and as I did
not travel, like Polyphemus, with my eye out,
I gathered a few samples of Irish character, a.
mongst which was the following incident:
I was standing one morning at the window
of 'mine Inn,' when my attention was attracted
by a seene that took place beneath. The Bel
fast coach was standing at the door, and on
the root, in front, set a solitary outside passen
ger, a fine young fellow iu the uniform of the
Connaught Rangers. Below, by the front
wheel, stood an old woman, seemingly his
mother, a young man, and a young woman,
sister or sweetheart; and they were all earn
estly entreating the young soldier to descend
from his seat on ihe coach.
'Come down wid ye, Thady' the speaker
was the old woman 'come down now to your
ould mother; sure it's flog ye they will, and
strip the flesh off the bones I give ye. Come
down, Thady, darlin'I'
'It's honor, mother.' was the short reply of
the soldier: and with clenched hands and set
teeth, he took a stiffer posture on the coach.
'Thady, come down come down, ye fool
of the world come alung down wid ye!' The
tone of the present appeal was more impatient
and perempiory than the last; and the answer
was more promptly and sternly pronounced :
. 'It's honor, brother!' and the body of the spea
ker rose more rigidly erect than ever on the
roof.
'O Thady come down! sure it's me, your
own Kathleen that bids ye! Come down, or
ye'll break ihe heart of me, Thady, jevvel;come
down then!' The noor girl wrunsr her hands
as she said it. and cast a look upward that had
a visible effect on the muscles of the soldier's
countenance. There was more tenderness in
his tone, but it conveyed the same resolution
as before.
'It's honor, honor bright, Kathleen!' and, as
if to defend himself from another glance, he
fixed his lock steadfastly in front, while the
renewed entreaties burst from all three in cho
rus, with the same answer.
'Come down, Thady, honey ! Thadv, ye
fool, come down! O Thady, down to me!'
'It's honor, mother ! I'ts honor, brother !
Honor bright, my own Kathleen!'
Although the poor fellow was a private, this
appeal was so public that I did not hesitate to
go u'own and inquire into the particulars of the
distress. It appeared that he had been home
on furlough, to visit his family, and having ex
ceeded, as he thought, the term of his leave,he
was going to rejoin his regiment, and to under
go the penalty of his neglect. I asked him
when the furlough expired.
'The first of March, your honor bad luck to
it of all the black days in the world and here
it is, come sudden on me like a shot!'
'The first of March? why my good fellow
have a day to spare then- the first of March
will not be here till to-morrow. It is Leap
year, and February has twenty-nine days.'
The soldier was thunder-struck. 'Twenty-
nine days is it? you're sartm of that same!-
Oh, mother, mother! the devil fly away wid
yere ould almanac a base cratur of a book, to
be deceiven one, afther living so long in the
amtly of us!'
His first impulse was to cut a caper on the
roof ot the coach, and throw up his cap with
a loud hurrah! His second was to throw him
self into the arms of his Kathleen ; and the
third was to wring my hand off in acknowledgment.
'Its a happy man I am, yourhonor, for my
word's saved, and all by your honors manes.
Long life to your honor for the same. May ye
ive a long hundred and lape years every one
of them. English paper.
THE MONKEY
Who shaved himself and his friends.
A man who own'd a barber's shop
At York, and shav'd full many a fop,
A monkey kept for their amusement;
He made no other kind of use on't
This monkey took great observation,
Was wonderful at imitation,
And all he saw the barber do,
He mimie'd straight, and did it too.
It chanced in shop, the dog and cat,
While friseur dined, demurely sat,
Jacko found nought to play the knave in,
So thought he'd try his hand at shaving.
Around the shop in haste he rushes,
And gets the razor, soap and brushes;
Now puss he fix'd (no muscle miss stirs)
And lather'd veil her beard and whiskers,
Then gave a gash as he began
The cat cry'd "waugh!"aud offshe ran.
Next Towser's beard he try'd his skill in,
Though Towser seem'd somewhat unwilling:
As badly here again succeeding,
The dog runs howling round and bleeding.
Nor yet was tired our roguish elf;
He'd seen the barber shave himself;
So by the glass, upon the table,
He rubs with soap his visage sable,
Then with left hand holds smooth his jaw
The razor in his dexter paw;
Around he flourishes and siashes,
Til! all his face is seam'd with gashes.
His cheeks despatch'd his visage thin
He cock'd, to shave beneath his chin;
Drew razor swift as he coulJ pull it,
And cut from ear to ear his gullet.
'Jimmy, do you go to school?' 'Yes sir, to
the school kept by Miss Post !' 'Not a whip
ping Post, I hope,' 'Oh, no, sir, she is a guide
Post.'
A trader at a place up the river publishes iu
a paper a poetical list of articles by him for
sale. The advertisment concludes with the
following truly beautiful and original distich:
'Sulphur and Salts to cure the scratches,
Ard for the gals I've got some matches.
How are you? asked a gentleman the other
day of a mantuamaker. 'Only eeW'Sew,1 an
swered she.
'Pa, do they plough the prisoner's faces up
at Sing Sing?'
'No, my son, what made you ask that ques
tion? ' 'Cause it says here that one of their faces
was furrowed.9
'Go to bed, Sammy, go to bed, and dont go
out of the house, someboby might steal you.
Love is a heavenly feast of which none but
the sincere and, honest partake. It is as im
possible for a man truly to love as for a hypo
crite to go to heaven.
Why aTe the doating ladies like a spoon in
a cup of tea? , Because they are in-tea-resting.
'Dont say neigh,' as the fellers sung ven
they stole the horses.
'I'd thank you for that vinegar,' said a gen
tleman to a fellow boarder, while seated at
dinner.
'Ah, its of no consequence, I can look at my
wife's face' as the phiz of that lady assumed
an uncommon sour look. A crash was heard
an awful quantity of fragments of earthen
ware and 'wittals' covered the floor, and the
unlucky wight was seen making for the doc
exclaiming, 'I'm dished, by G .'
We were tickled almost to death at a little
thing we heard yesterday. A drunken loafer
was tottling along with a jug of whiskey, and
as he attempted to climb a fence, he fell on
one side of the fence, and the jug on the other.
The liquor immediately commenced running
out, and when it was nearly gone, the loafer
raised himself upon his elbow and listened to
the liquor asjit came out with its peculiar sound
of 'good, good, good!' 'Oh, yes!' said the loa
fer," 'I know you are good, but d-n you, leant
get at you.' We sloped. Cin. Mic.
iMOD
From the Hamburg Journal.
An Abstractionist. An ugly, thick lip ne
gro was fast asleep the other day, securely
resting against the sunny side of one of the
warehouses; whose lips stuck out a feet, natu
rally causingmischievous boys to be on the
alert.
Now it so happened that one of the several
boys, that were attracted by Cuff's position,
chewed tobacco. And it likewise occurred to
this same said boy, to play a trick upon the
same said Cuff. The chew was forthwith ex
tracted, poised, let fly. and fell plump into
Cuff's extended lips. The weight and taste
soon aroused darkie, who, looking up, espied
his tormentors. Cuff was so enraged and not
being able to obtain redress at the moment,
wisely concluded to inform the father of the
boy, of his acts. With the chew still between
his lips, he mutters out, 'You see dis now,you
varmints ! I shan't take it out at all. I carry
it rite 'trait to yer fader.'
Off Cuffmoved for redress, and we to our
business; and we have not yet understood the
decision of the boy's father.
Forty years ago, if a mechanic proposed to
do your work, you might depend on his word,
it would be done.
Forty years ago, when a mechanic finished
his work, he was paid for it.
Forty years ago, printers were paid, there
fore enabled to pay their debts. What a fall
ing off.
A man in Kentucky, lately committed, sui
cide by hanging himself on the very day he
was to have been married. A foolish act that,
to slip his neck into the wrong noose perhaps.
A Bright Child. 'Father, I do wish you
would send for the doctor.'
'Why so, my child, are you sick?'
'No, I ain't exactly sick.'
'Then why do you want the doctor?'
'Cause, I want he should come and feel of
my pulse, and tell me whether I'm tired or
lazy !'
From the Joneabero Whig.
INTERESTING LOVE LETTER.
We have been furnished by a friend, with
the following interesting letter, written: by a
coal-black slave ot this town, to a Zarfre grecjy
mulatto wench with whose 'blue eyes' the
writter seems to have been perfectly captiva
ted. Jonesborodgh March the 9th 1842.
Dear Miss Elizar? I embrace the oppoituni-;
ty of writing To you? to Let yon know that I
am well and hope these few lines may find
you in the Same State of Health? I now tell ;
you mis Eliza? I did not Sleep a Wink on
Sunday night? because Lore took plaee that
day about 2 oclock A M? it is true you are a
Coloured Girl and so am I a Coloured Boy?
but indeed you are the prettyest Female that
I ever set my scruples upon? you hare got a
fine face and Beautiful blue eyes eXtreemly
fine and good? ever thing about you all accept,
one remark I have to make about you? Why
you have got a Fashion snapping people up
Like pie Cruste? accept me? I never knew
you to do me so? I would not Wish to, insult
you Mis Eliza? for I do really think that you
would make me A Good wife? And I would
make you A Good Husband? Ekernomercal
people allways go a long? a mand Could not
raise his Come his oats nor hi Kattle? With
out being industrious? a mand Cant Cultivate
nothin WTithout he work?
of all the ladies in the West?
liza hunt I think the best?
Gods Commandments?
do not steal? do not sware?
do not tell a lie? Honor thy father
an mother? that thy days may be longer? ,
now I have put nothing in This-letter to
make a fuse? because I rote it on ascount of
Miss Eliza Hunt?
the holy bibles speaks of all Commandment'?
I Just put it in because the bibles before me 4
I am not hinting on nobody stealing a tall?
Jesus my on to heaven is gone?
he whom I fix my hopes upond? ,
Dr. B. informs us that he has' a patient so
dread fullj irritable on the subject, of water,
that he won't wear his watch because there is
a spring in it.
To pelt a man with eggs, unless they axe
rotten ones, is getting to be considered an un
pardonable waste of chickens,
'What is the reason, my love, that since you
lost your teeth, you are forever talking?1 asked
an anxious husband of his adored wife. 'Be
cause, my dear, there is so much room in my
mouth, my tongue can't keep stilL'
A lady who was married to a gentleman of
the most winning manners and address, and
with whom she had many slight quarrels, and
sweet reconciliations, once said, that he had'
made her shed tears for the pleasure of kissing
them away.
An honorable member of the Legislature
told us one of the richest things, yesterday, we
ever heard. He says that two of his constitu
ents were such exquisite rascals,' that having'
one calf between them, each stole it from" the
other, and put his own 'brand1 upon it to often,'
that in two days they completely' burned the
poor animal up.
Why is a person getting rheumatic like one
locking a cupboard door? Because he's tarn'
ing achy (a key.) s
Why is a loud laugh in the House of Com-
raons likeNapolean Buonaparte? -Because it's'
an M P. roar (an Emperor.)
- Why is one and sixpence like an aversion
to coppers ? Because it's hating pence eigk
teen pence.!