Newspapers / The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) / April 30, 1842, edition 1 / Page 1
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r 1 J -I W. & J. B. WHITAKER, EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. VOLUME II- NUMBER 14, BALEIGH, APRIL 30, J342. SINGLE COPY, 3 JJCT33H1"' " fFE COME, THE HERALD TERMS- TheRsp is published everv Saturday morn ing, at One Dollar and Fifty Cents per annum payable in advance. r3 Any person sending us six new subscri bers, and the subscription money for one year shall receive the seventh number free ot charge for the same length ot time. Advertisements conspicuously inserted, at the very reduced price of Fifty Cents persquare forthe'first insertion, and Twenty-five Cents for each continuance. A LOVE SCRAP. (Written foe The Rasp.) There's a vital spark in the heart of man, Which female graces gently fan, And kindles into flames. These flames arise to mountain height, And fill the soul with high delight, Transporting is the joy. Esteem is the bright spark that shines, And love's the flame; a thing divine That elevates the soul! These, fostered with a mutual care, Ne'er fail to make a happy pair: A happy pair indeed ! Come, then, ye lads and lassie$,oni and all, Low before Hymen's altar fall, But first get deep in love. PRUDY. 'Ha! ha! ha! That song forever! In our evening perambulation yesterday evening, we passed can't say where! but any how we heard some girls singirjg the following lines, which we hastily sketched with ' charcoal.' They are new to us, and may be so to some of our readers. Gills, don't get angry because we publish them we admire them 'like blazes,' and if we were a bachelor and wanted to get a wife as bad as we want to go to heaven, we'd certainly join you singing 'Higher up the cherry-tree, the riper are the cherries,' and 'court' you 'quicker' 'an a toad could swallow a streak of lightning. But the song it must be res cued from oblivion : 'Higher up the cherry tree The riper are the cherries The more the young men court the girls The quicker they will marry. He led me to the dining room, He led me to the fire, My chair slipt I fell down He asked me to sit nigher. Don't choose you one with a rolling eye, Nor one with too much money Choose you one with a true blue eye, That will kiss you and call you honey.' Sketching thus much, unobserved, we thought the last word sweet enough, and resumed our walk. Milton Chron. . LEGAL FORMS. A young man and his father presented them selves one day at a notary's effice to sign a contract. The clerk first addressed the son 'Sir, are you twenty-one?' 'Here, sir,' answered the young man, 'is a certificate of my birth.' 'Very well; and you sir,' turning to the fath er, 'are you twenty-one?' 'That is a pretty question,' said the father; 'do you not think I am at least as old as my own son?' , 'That is no answer,5 said the clerk, you must produce your certificate.' Gocging. A trial was brought before the Gibson Circuit Court, Indiana, in a case oi savage gouging, in which the plaintifl showed that one eye was lost and the other much in jured. The jury considered'this as airplay, and gave a verdict of not guilty!! Would not this disgrace the SeniiDoles themselves ? " RIVAL LANDLORDS HOAXED. After the defeat of the French ai the battle of Leipsic, that city became full of a mixed medley of soldiers, of all arms, and of all na tions; of course a great variety of coin was in circulation there. A British private, who was attached to the rocket brigade, and who had picked up a little broken French and German, went to the largest hotel in Leipsic, and dis playing an English shilling, enquired if this piece of coin was current there. 'Oh, yes,'re plied he, 'you may have whatever the house affords for that money ; it passes current at present.' Our fortunate Bardolph,finding him self in such compliant quarters, called about him most lustily; and the most sumptuous din ner the house could afford, washed down, by bottles of the most expensive wines, were de spatched without ceremony. On going away, he tendered at the bar the single identical shil ling which the landlord had inadvertently led him to expect was to perform such wonders. The stare, the shrug, and the exclamation from 'mine host of the Garter,' by such a len der, may be more easily conceived than ex pressed. An explanation, much to the dissat isfaction of the landlord, took place, who quick: ly found not only that nothing more was like ly to be got, but also the laugh would be tre mendously against him. This part of the profits he had a very Christian wish to divide with his neighbor. Taking his guest to the street door of the hotel, he requested him to look over the way. 'Do you see,' said he, 'the large hotel opposite? That fellow, the landlord of it, is my sworn rival, and nothing can Seep this story from his ears, in which case I shall never hear the last of it. Now, my good fellow, you are not only welcome to your entertainment, but I will in stantly give you a five franc piece into the bar gain, if you will promise, on the word of a sol dier, tc attempt the trick with him tomorrow, that succeeded with me so well today.' Our veteran took the money, and accepted the con ditions; but having buttoned up the silver very securely in his pocket, he took his leave of the landlord, with the following speech and a bow, that did no discredit to Leipsic : 'Sir, I deem myself in honor bound to use my utmost en deavors to put your wishes in execution. I shall certainly do all that I can, but must can didly inform you that I fear I shall not succeed, since I played the very same trick on that gen tleman yesterday, and it is to his particular ad vice alone, that you are indebted for the honor of mj company today.' FABLE. A grave and solemn owl, one day meeting a merry, laughing bob-lincoln, took him very severely to task for his levity. 'You are letting yourself down in the scale of being you may perhaps catch the ear ot the trifling and vulgar, but the wise and thinking are disgusted with you. I never laugh or speak lightly, and am looked up to, in consequence, as the philosopher of birds.' At that instant the owl was shot from his perch by a farmer, whose hen roost had been for a long time subject to the nightly depreda tions of the philosophers. 'There,' quoth the farmer, 'you have caught it at last, you goggle eyed, screeching, good for nothing, thieving rascal.' 'Tink, tmk, tink,' said Bob, in great alarm. 'Ah, you there, my happy,merry,little friend, I would not hurt a feather on your back. I love thy sweet notes they teach me with my lot to be happy and content.' OF A JVOISY WORLD Amusing Blunder. The Washington cor respondent ot the New York Courier spoke of Mr. Robert Tyler as one who courted the mu ses. The compositor made him the courting the nurses. Good, The Ladies out West have rescind to marry no man who does not take a news paper, and furthermore, they wont allow a fellow to look at them who owes the printer for onore than one year's subscription. Content is wealth, the riches of the mind, Happy's the man wjo can the treasure find. An old lady boasted of having two very talented sons. One of them had a very ex traordinary gift for making poetiy, and the other had a wonderful talent at sucking eggs. A friend boasting of his remarkably good sight, said he had often seen an eagle when it was out of sight. "We brought on a sore throat trying to swailow this. Pleasure is but a shadow; wealth is vanity, and power a pageant; but knowledge is extatic in eojoyment perennial in frame unlimited in space; and infinite in duration. In the per formance of its sacred office, it fears no danger spares no expense omits no exertion. It scales the mountain looks into the volcano dives into the ocean perforates the earth; en riches the globe; explores the sea and land ; contemplates the distance; ascends to the sub lime; no place is too exalted for its reae.h. Machine Poetry. John Du Solle of the Philadelphia Times, (under the head of 'Flori da News ! Highly Important!') tear3 off the following tender rag of sentiment : Hurra for our lads of the sabre and trigger, In history's pages they'll make a great Jigger, No heroes on record were braver or bigger They've captured three children, two squaws and a nigger! A grand spectacle is the sailing ship, in a clear bright day, dancing along upon the roll ing billows of the heaving sea, with her pure white canvass bellying forth to a soft and con stant breeze, and rising pile upon pile, looking like wreaths of untrodden snow upon a moun tain's side in the pale and mellow moonlight the prancing war-horse with his arched neck and flowing mane -the starry heavens all are grand and beautiful. So thought, perhaps, some hoss out west, when he penned an ad vertisement for a 'better half,' who, among other qualifications, says: My wile must have a rosy cheek, And one loose floating lock Of hair, to dangle on her neck, Like sorrel round a rock ? ABSURDITIES. To think for yourselffand declare your opin ions in every society you frequent. To tell a confirmed beauty that she looks much better than she did the last season. To praise a daughter just come out, in the presence of her handsome mother of five and thirty. j To occupy the attention of a large company by the recital of an occurrence interesting to yourselves alone. To expect that your friends will remember you you alter you have thought proper to for get themj 'A short hoise is soon curried,' 'A black hen lays a white egg.' The following advice which we copy from an exchange paper, although perhaps some what ultra, at least some of it -worth lemem bering. 'Be contented as long as your mouth is full and your body warm; remember the poor, kiss the pretty gins, don't rob your neighbor's hen roost; never pick an editor's pocket, nor entertain the idea that he is going to treat; k'ck dull care to the deuce; black your own boots:' and we will add, sew on your own but tons, when you burst 'em off your trowsers. 'Are you fond of novels, Mr. Jenkins?' said Miss Angelica Felician Potts. "Yes, mam, very especially when tbey are fried with green peas, aud served up with horse-radishes. Miss Angelica fainted. ;.'" FIVB CEJTT8. THAT YANKEE. The editor of the Norwich News says, that the other day an old lady walked into his of fice, and 'let out' as follows; 'You've got all sorts o' books here, hant ye?' 'No, ma'am some kinds o' books we hav'nt now on hand.' 'Wall now, what hant ye got ? Seems lo me you might have every thing.1 'We hav'nt got Foster on Flea Bites, nor; Cook on Town Meetings, nor Dwight on Hot Nights, Lathrop on Physic, nor ' 'Wall, I should'nt ha' thought it, but you've great bibles, hant ye?' 'Yes, ma'am, all qualities.' 'Wall then let me put on my specs and look at urn them are that have got the apothecary in um, are the sort I want;d'ye take applesas?' 'Yes, ma'am, we take all sorts o' sauce.' 'Wall, I guess if you're mind to pick me out a good un that's got the fox and geese marked on the lids, and throw in a sarm book, I'll take one and bring the sassif we have a good ap ple season, next winter.' 'Could'nt throw in the psalm book no how.' The New Bedford Bulletin says, that the queer looking hoods now worn by the ladies, are named "kiss-me-if-you-dare!1 Pleasant.To go home at eleven o'clock; at night to find the door bolted to creep in; through the cellar window to bark your shins over an old barrel your wife absconded a cold room no wood and the topth ache yes! very! Flowers on the coffin of a maiden, Strew flowers upon it, ye blooming companions ! Formerly ye brought her flowers on the feast day of her birth. Now you celebrate a greater festival; for the bier is the-cradle of heaven. 'Oh! the joys of wedded life,' as the man said when his wife shut him up in the coal hole for putting too much butter on his bread. Sunday Star. MACHINE POETRY. There is not in fhis wide world a valley so sweet, As that where they've lobsters and oysters to eat; And down to the beach a poor exile of Erin, One morning I spied with a hungry maw steerin', The dew on his thin robe hung heavy and chill, And he walk'd into oysters and lobsters to kill. Hail, Columbia! happy land! For worser times are nigh at hand; If I could read my title clear; Right off to Texas I would steer: And those who meet me there would say Oh! tell me, blue eyed stranger, Say whither dost thou roam, Through these cane-brakes a ranger, Hast thou no sheltered home? O say,can you see,b the dawn's early light, The musquitoes we heard at the twilight's last gleaming? " The musquitoe that bit us so freely. all night, That kept us the while from e'en sleeping or dreaming? Advice to young ladies. Never marry a man because he is handsome, he will think too much of his own beauty to take pride in yours. Never marry a man because he has wealth; 'for ricbes take to themselves wings and fly away.' Never marry a man for his parentage, for 'a good cow often has a bad calf.' " Marry a man for his good sense, amiable temper, bis sound morals, his habits of indus try, and economy, and you will then have a good husband, and your children will have a good father. " j
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
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April 30, 1842, edition 1
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