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THE RASP.
RALEIGH, MAY 21.
wounding the feelings of innocence, or intimi
dating pride. We do detest and abhor that
person, who would thus trifle with humanity; toe science the other night, was a perfect ter
the moral world looks upon them with tbeeye ror to all dancing masters. He came it
AND TOE SCIENCE. We would say to the man w ho threat-"
The way a certain chap come the heel and ened us with a 'licking' if we rasped himthat"
ol scorn, ana were justice to nave its own. it
would be found in adjusting the noose. 'The
reptile in human form should be avoided; care
may rub out the slime of a snail, but not the
slime of a slanderer.5
With flourishes, and turns and twists,
Of arms and elbows, toes and wrists,
And attitudes of fascination,
Enough to ravish all creation.
a barking dog never bites.' But if. he should
at any time become rabid, and feel like bitingy
then we say, . -
;Liy on McDufL1
HCf VVe had 'ia preparation, a dose for a
certain sore-eyed loafer, but upon reflection,
'Toothache cured without extraction.'asthe 1
We presume that he has in contemplation, borse Plsto1 ?a,d hen lt blew lhe man's brains
taking charge of a class for the purpose of in-
If you see a man or woman, with little or no
have declined publishing it, as the subject is Hcksf Zek(?i weQ we him j t occasion, often findtn-faulted correcting one
(tuuiuer lucuiupauy, yuu iiiay ue sure uey are
an-object of loathe and disgust, in the eyea of machine
ALL Letters to the Editor a must come FREE of
POSTAGE.
t 0C Mr. James S. Stiles,is our authorised Trav
elling Agent, for this Stnte, to receive subscribers and
give receipts.
i iEGAD! HOW HE NICKS 'EM!"
We created quite a commotion last week,by
some of our articles, among those cf the long
faced order, who are boisterous in their pro
fessions. They "rared, ripped, aud tore !'
One of them so enraged with fury, stood on his
head, and cursed us with oaths innumerable.
Others tore their hair, and swore vengeance
against the Rasp, while the little man, who
was overtaken with a fit of despair, snatched
from his cupboard an old dull razor, and said
he'd live no longer. But 'discretion was the
better part of valor.' So thick they came, that
with Frank Hopkins, we can only describe
this scene of confusion:
"Methinks I see a black infernal train
The genuine offspring of accursed Cain
Fiercely on us, their angry looks are bent,
They grin and gibber, dangerous discontent!'
Yes, reader, they 'grinned' equal to that
'possum of 30 lbs. memory. One fellow, we
beheld, who threw his old shoes at a poor am
mal of the canine race, and his eyes flashing
demoniac-like, he vomited forth foul words,
and tore his shirt!
Even hostile merchants stand in fierce array,
And o'er our heads thsir threat'ning sticks dis
play:
Howl hideous discord, thro5 the noon of night,
And shake their dreadful lanthorns in our sight.
Ye gods! where will it slop! Must we walk on
stilts, and with the sword of General Bombas
tes,vs march in front of this army ol yard sticks,
and take by storm, the frog ponds ol the Rocky
Branch? We;il do this, and even more we'll
jrimp on old S 's back, and with sharpened
spurs, kick his sides in, and speed on to the
conquest! They are a daring set of soldiers!
When the victory is won, with martial music,
we'll 'rise the hill5 that leads to the city, each
man bearing the spoils, suspended by one foot
to the end of his piece. Poor croaker. Then
will they involuntarily exclaim;
Our great commander! Fourth Corporal Rasp,
This daring army to the fros: pond march'd;
Theie with a voice.just like the cannons blast,
Cried, 'on lo vict'ry ! fix bay'nets, charge!'
THE GOSSIPPER.
We have so often written on this subject,
that we are almost at a loss to know what to
say; but, when we are sensible of the fact,
that our city is well provided with such char
acters, our duty impels us to frown them down
if possible. It is also, an unpleasant task, this
harping too frequently on one subject; never
theless, when convinced cf the absolute ne
cecessity of so doing,Twe cheerfully take up our
weapon of warfare, to defend a virtuods com
munity against the shafts of slander which are
levelled at them, by these treacherous beings.
In our humble opinion, we do not believe that
there Is a being .upon -whom the Great Eye
frowns with mora Indignation, than the vile
slanderer., They are Avorse than the mid-
' II iff K t nt(3c:in frr t h n ir t rt K of f a r A ton nfton
"with success,) the character of tne virtuoHs
'J aRd thoughtless; they tell all they know, and
then, for the sake of conversation, make up a
tale of the marvellous; and it is too often the
"ase with the listener, in repeating to others,
"hat thev have heard, they too, make enlarge
ments. Thus it is, that frivolous jests become
JJM3ninedT-aad jneyer stop, without. first sorely
all respectable men; and indeed, it would look
too much like dabbling in diny water, and in-
steadinjuringor impairingis reput a I ion woud
"do him proud," and raise him so high in 'his
own estimation, that like the fros in the fable,
he would burst, and become a charge to the
city, to remove his putrid rottenness from its
in operation, and we find the follow. , ' .r
. ' . . man and wife.
corporation,
mouth?
What think you of it, puppy -
iog production, as a recommendation:
He turns around, and sinks and rises,
Makes figures of all sorts and sizes,
Flies nine times round the room before
He condescends to touch the floor;
And now and then like lightning springs,
He soars aloft on pigeon's wings I
The Price Current put down whiskey as i
drus. SO much for temnpranrp.
He ihat knows the world will not be too
bashful. He that knows hirnsell will' not be
too impudent.
LUNSFORD LANE.
This scoundrel, on his arrival in New York)
was honored by a called meeting of the anti-
slavery,where he appeared and took his seat in
a chair by the side of the sable president. He
was looked to with anxious eyes,by thousands
of the knotty headed tribe, for a history of his
Southern lour. That our readers may be bet
ter informed, we give below just one extract,
from the proceedings' of the meeiing, which
we find published in the N. Y. Express:
'Lansford Lane, a very distinguished color- Joe Gitt, we are inclined to believe that you
The Rasp. We never slip ' this delightful
and interesting paper from its envelope, with
out having our attention attracted by some me-1 too much truths
Iodious strain of posey, or being charmed with
its chaste, engaging, refined & tasty prose. In
our opinion, the Rasp is by far the most spicy
paper received at our office. We most cordi
ally bid its enterprising Editors a 'god speed.'
'Less than a genius cannot dwell,
Wnhin the hollow of that shell
Which sounds so sweetly and so well.' .
Hanover, Pa. Democrat.
That beats anj thing of "puffing" memory!
Children, when young, tread on the toes of
their parents; when old, on their hearts. If
there is no poetry in this, ihere is a great deal
An old maid was once asked to subscribe for
. ...
a newspaper. he answered no sne always
made her oicn news ' '
A parish clerk, instead of reading from the
Psalms, 'The unrighteous shall be compared
to beasts4hat perish, bawled orlt, 'The unright
eous shall be compared to the best of the parish
ed man, first addressed the meeting. In the
course of his speech he look occasion to give a
history of his trials and tribulations since '35,
ai which time he purchased his freedom, hav
ing been a slave to a gentleman in Hawley,
N. C. up to that time, since which, fTjPhe has
most of his time been giving abolition lectures
in Massachusetts. His tale was not without
interest, though not entirely unvarnished, as
when he returned to Rawlev. after his wile
have not taken a correct likeness you indulge
in flattery. However, if you're in rale yeam-
est, why, go ahead.
We saw a chap in church last sabbath,
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who was seated near a window wnich was
hoisted, and through which the sun shone ra
ther warm, rise from his seat, with all the con
fidence of Napoleon the 2d, and let the window
To hunger and thirst after righteousness
A parson looking for a pulpit where he can
earn his bread and butter.
'Why am I lke a crosscut saw? said a bul
ly. 'D'ye give it up? Because it takes two
men to handle me.'
People are very consistent, for instance-
the Hindoos will grind to death in their oil
mills the jamas, or heretic priests; but the
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auu wu cuuuieu, ne was ueateu iu a sun Ol . . , . ... , shnrlnVr at iHp aoHrfpnfal .Pth nf mnnt..
uuvvu, 'u uiuti w jnuicti ins uci.cdit: ucnn uuiu . - . ""-j
tar and feathers: or as he termed it, the eouin
ment of an abolition lecturer. He continued the scorching rays of a pleasant spring sun.
his remarks to a very considerable length, and The ereen- horn thought the "lass would shade
was listened to with attention. His, family, im !
witn wnom lie arrived nere a day or two since,
were arranged behind him upon the stand. and
at the appropriate lime, to give elfect to "the
tale of horror," were brought forward as their
names were called, and exh ibited to the audi
ence, as a caution to evil-doeis."
WHAT DEPRAVITY.
A couple of young lovers were left in a room
together, when, as a matter cf course, the sub
ject 'not at all disagreeable,' was brought up.
This is but a verj short extract, the proceed- Jonathan, from what we could. learn from his
ings occupying more lhan a column of the Ex- soft chat, was neck and heels in love with the
press. If reader, you make a profession of pretty litttle brunette. He spoke to her on the
Southern principles, we can well tell your pleasantness of the evening; he related to her
feelings. But the half is not yet told. Reso- the fac?, cf his mother's cat having caught 'a
lutions were passed by this same meeting, re- areat big rat,' and concluded in the following
commending the disolutica of the Union, 'be- affectionate strain: 'O! sweet! I am glad that it
cause,' says the resolution, 'the constitution Uvearn't you the nasty cat caught!' and he gent-
will not do for tthe North and South.' But y moistened the rosy cheek of the blushin" 'yu looked so thundering green. I reckoned
this is nothing, oteps were taken, to enuip nr;k A vcu must have bepn hrotiorhr nn in trt chado.
- - I III. VV III! II I. I 1 I I. 1 i V i III IJt. I VtflJll.il l.U I A I iTl.ll 111. I - - w m mm u H A W m
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weather-worn lins. We nronned ourself un in
the corner bv the window, in order to catch a 'Madam,' said a druggist the other day, to a
second hearing The youth now knelt before lad who Was "fining Cologne,
a lir I i t i r n m iccinnnrioc t n n nm i n t n f hr. 1 d n f I
and place in every negro's hand, a knife with
which he may cut his master's throat ! This
is no exaggerated account, for, said one of the
speakers, 'they (the abolitionists,) had only to
say to two and a half millions of slaves, "be
free," and they were free The whole slave
population, he contended, might as well be
iiberared in two years as in twenty,' Yes
this is the language of the New York Lane
meeting. Shall we suppose that it will meet
with the approbation of tliDse friends of Lane,
who 'pledged their lives and fortunes,' in de
fence of their dear Lunsford, when he was a
bout to receive his tar and feathers? We have
(I assure
her, and taking her by the hand, breathed out 'ou fil is an cellent art'cle, and if you wiU
sweetlv there, a Ion- "rir-raa-roIe of oa- to"u"ceuj o approximate me extreme exicn-
rs., . . r -i -.i .i -i siori of vour nroboscis to the enrlospd nrifipp nf
conco hP rut hpr nnorpr nans win mp nvin-i - - -
ity of a hungry fish. He a- lne boUje' lfaus ,e!t,DS t,ie PHcles of fluid op
rose, and drawing from his trowsers pocket a
highly spotted 10 cents snuffbox, presented it
to his fair charmer,-with the request that she
would not open it before he retired. (He had
writien on a piece of paper the words ila box
of love") He bade her, with a lingering look5
'good, night!' and departed. The next even
ing, however, true as a magnet needle, he ap
too great a cause to shudder at the reply. Their peared by the side of her whom he adored,
voices may not be heard immediately, yet,their wilh a bewitching smile playing across his
actions we tear, will speak even Jouder than e fja remain s.lnf fnr a fpw m'nmpntc.
thunder ! Father, brother ! we warn you to when he summqnea sufficient courage to pro
beware of loo great an intimacy with these nnunf an i Vwfnf nnestion! His face nssumerl
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protectors of abolition lecturers. We warn yeu tne redness of an eclipsed sun.and his earsbats
of the necessity of a timely preparation for the lecj fee a'choked rams, when he commenced :
attacks which will certainly be made upon us j cant dotil)t, Miss, from all the cheunjstafcees
by northern fanactics, at no distant period. connected with the subject, that you have de-
It-would be useless for us to impress upon you cided that beef stake s a fine vegetable I !'
the propriety of severely punishing every man 'And, sir,' replied the lady, 'you must admit
who may come among us cloathed in the garb thai a cow hide, properly applied, will cause a
of a friend to humanity,' for you know your man to be taken with a leaving!' and suiting
duty too well. the action to th6 word, she, drew from under
her apron a queer looking specimen of the raw
113 We have received a leiter from Forest-
hide, and studiously applied it lothejhoulders
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vine, signeu a cacneior, niaKin- ru4.u,y rt- r Jonalh wfao grabbed his hat and
uoui a cericiiu persun wnu icit itic uitj ,,suwc i jjjj22led
week or two since, whether said person nas re-
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J turned. Our answer is, we euess so. ' Dont nooK your neighbors canoage.
How to harden iron. Take a broker's heart
and the heart of a bank director; dry them well
in the sun, and pound them fine in a mortar;
sprinkle a few grains upon any quantity of
iron, and it will render it harderthan adamant.'
Susan Johnson has sued Enoch Sued lor
breach of promise, in Nashville, Tenn. Enoch
would no doubt be glad to decline the case, in
this way Sue, sued Stied.
lI say,' said a wag to a tall youth, whose ap
pearance .will be readily understood, 'I say
didn'i there an almighty great .tree stand in
front of your father's house?' Why?' enquir
ed the Jonathan. 'Because.' renlied the other. ,
erate tipon your olfactory nerve, the sensation;
that you will experience, will make the truth
of my assertion perceptible.'
iYor: Bad The editor of the Conc'prdia,La.
Intelligencer; thus warns the river settlers of
their situ or ratherZoaf-uation: .
"Prepare yourselves, bail your fiaiboats,corlc
your skiffs, build your rafts, tie vour houses to
rthe nearest trees, put up vour children's duds
and your housenold nxins, tor taking a general
float. Sink or swim, live or die, survive. or
perish,' just as you choose;but be assured things
put on rather a threatening aspect.. We in
tend to keep all our exchanges and make 'a
raft thev are liht enpugh to keep us afloat.'
THIS establishment, situated near the late
'Cottage,' on'the West sideci the State Square,
has been re-opened, and re-6tted, and re-far
nished witrjvthe best liquors, bat hare ever
reached the City of RaleigbJ1 To be short, the
Bar of No. 1. is now the most complete Bar,
in the City.
The Proprietor, hsa also made preparations
to furnish, at any time, aud at all times, sup
pers, snacks) and relishes something more
ihan a cracker and a piece of cold ham, AJ1
that 1 ask, is to give No. 1. a fair trial, and it
will prove to be ahead of the Fashion!
May 20,-1842. WM. FOWLER.
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