A SERIOUS ACCIDENT.
A jury of inquest was held on the bodv of
Mr. Allen Melton! on Fridayjast, then lying
about one and a half miles below the city, on
the rail road. It is supposed that h.e had fal
len off the road in endeavoring to cross a cul
vert, and dislocated his neck. He had been in
town the previous afternoon, and lelt about
sun-down. The road, at the place where he
died, passed through a swamp, and it must
hare been quite dark, which pievented him
from seeing his wav so well; added to which,
he had been partaking of his cups fieely before
he left. home. How solemn is the thought,
that a fellow being will stagger into eternity,
far from home and friends, at such an hour,
and in such a dreary place ! Oh! deliver is
from this kind ol death!
The jury returned a verdict, that'AllenMel
ton came to his death by accidentally falling,
as we believe, off the Hamburg Rail Road, in
said fall breaking his neck, into a deep culvert
in said road, sometime during the night of the
25th inst.' -r
Melton was an industrious man, a peaceable
citizen, and the worst enemy to himself: past
the middle age of life; having reared up a fam
ily of children who have to deplore his loss at
this late hour. Hamburg Journal."
G. W. DIXON,
Leaves this country soon, for Europe.
;I'm going over to London,
To see Victoria's crown;
And 'walk the piank' sixty hours
For a bet of a thousand pounds.
So take your time, Miss Lucy.
As the closing of shop windows at sundown.
J 3i 5
and as the wrinkles cf a pair of empty bellows.
so is the count;?nanceof the juan of whom you
seek to borrow money.
An elephant exhibiting in Cincinnati, while
the performance was going on, reached his
trunk in'o a lady's bosom and took an apple
.out, much to the affright of the young lady and
the amusement of the crowd.
English Juurnals say that a female child
having- two heads, but in other respects per
feet, is now exhibiting in Chapel street, Lon
don.
Scene in a debating society. President.
VVe will take the ayes and nose on the previ
ous question.
Member A word or two, Mr. President.
Friends, Romans, Countrymen; lend me your
ears7
President Order sir; we will take the eyes
and nose Cist! Phil. Ledger.
They who abandon a friend for one error,
know but little of human nature, and prove
that their hearts are as cold as their judgments
are weak.
'They do say there's nothing new under the
sun, but if there ain't a new pair of stocking.'
said an old woman, as she took the last stich,
'then I'm mistaken.'
Close Shaving. A justice of the peace was
called onfor payment of a bill of seventy-five
cents. Upon presenting the bill the squire
asked the man if he would swear to the ac
count. He replied, 'yes.' The squire swore
him, and handed him fifty cents. 'Stop,squire,
you are mistaken in the amount 'tis seventy
five cents.' 'I know,' replied the squire 'but
I cant swear you for nothing.'
It is becoming quite fashionable in our city,
to paint the window sashes black. It gives
the glass a cool appearance and seems to say
'keep shady' to every pair of prying optics.
It also makes the windows lock like one large
sheet of glass. What a pane-ful idea.
Philadelphia Times.
Show not yourself glad at another's misfortune.
lie's a first rate book keeper,' as the literary
man Said of his friend who never thought of
returning borfowed books.
Our conntry is good enough for any body
let those who do not like it find another.
A foolish fellow went to the parson of a pai;
ish with a long face, and told him that he had
seen a ghost as he was passing the grave yard,
moving along against the side of the wall.
'In what shape did it appear T 'In the shape
of an ass.' 'Go home "-and hold your tongue
about ft,' said the pastor, 'you have been fright
ened by your own shadow.'
'Stop me, somebody, or I shall do mis
chief,' as the cannon shot said when on its
way.
'In haste, yours,1 as another ball said when
it took off a gentleman's head.
"'We are bought with a price,' as the early
straw-berries said.
'I'm getting upin the world,' as the shad said
when drawn out of the water.
'Stop and take your rent,1 a3 the rail said to
the shirt sleeve. Atlas.
... ,
The chief duties of man are to vote for Gen
eral Jackson, join the Presbyterian church, and
obey his wife and daughter.
There is a girl down, east so sweet, tlrai
molasses candy tastes sour after kissing her.
Parental Softness. 'Will Utile junny ed
dity have a rattle 01 a whistle for his little teen
ty, tonly self?'
'No, par; 1 wont have nary one.'
'What, then, will little junny eddity have?'
'Go along to your office, par,and tend to your
business; and leave mar and me to tend to the
playthings.' N. Y. Atlas.
- ' .
'L. L. D.' It appears by the following dia
logue, that the honorary degree fately conferred
upon our Connecticut Governor, is attracting
some notice among our colored population :
Cuffee 'What for do they put 'L. L. D.' to
the hiid end ob our good Guberuor Clebeland's
u a me?'
Sambo 'Wy, Cuffee, you 'spose yodr ign'-
rance by axin'such a foolish question; it's as
plain aslhe face on a man's nose it simply
means 'Leg it! Leg it! Dorr!' '
Cuffee' S cuse me, Sambo I guess may
be I woni ax sich a foolish question 'gin bery
soon.' Rep. Cor.
Children are inquisitive bodies; for instance:
'What does cleave mean, pa?'
'It means to unite together,'
'Does cousin John unite wood when he
cleaves it?'
'Hera, well it means to separate.'
'Does a man separate from his wife when
he cleaves to her ?'
'Hem! hem! don't ask so many foolish questions,-child,'
MohawiC Justice . A young Hans was
brought up before his honor the magistrate, on
a charge of having stolen stockings.which cause
the honorable gentleman disposed of in this
wise:
'Shon, shtant up.'
Whereupon the prisoner arose.
'Saon, dit you shteel tem stocking, oi not??
'No, mine soul, eh dit not.'
'Ten, Shoo, you ish clear you dit not shteel
tem shtockins.'
Pleasure is no rule of good ; when we foU
low pleasure merely, we are disgusted and
change from one part to another, condemning
that at one time which at another we earnest
ly approve; and never judgingequally of hap
piness whilst fit follow passion and mere humor.
Flattery Flatterers were well described
by the old author, who says, 'they only lift
a man up as it is said the eagle does the tor
toise, to get something by the fall.'
The game of life is like that ot whist, which
requires both good cards and good playing to
come off best.
A down easier has invented a patent coat,
which he can alternately turn into a hat, vest,
or pantaloons, as occasion requires.
Quizzing a man about getting mariied, the
Picayune thinks a rib aid joke.
When you go by your neighbor's windows,
be sure to look in. You may find out what
they have for dinntr.
We never noticed particularly how cats eat
their food whether they bit it, tore t to pie:
ces or swallowed it whole. Last night, how
ever, they satisfied us on this point, under the'
window of our sleeping apartment. They al
ways mevt -till late there's no doubt about it.
Ibid.
MELTING.
'ThoUjOthou alone, or death,
Must be mine, Elizabeth;
Let me win you; once you're won,
We'll be one when all is done!
Half aloud and half aside,;
Fair Miss Jenkins then replied,
'Tender youib, I'll not forsake you,
Come along. old' horse, I'll take you!
(Picayune.
Caution. Subscribers will confer "a. favor
bv not lending thtir papers. Borrowers are
always turning up their nose at something i
contains.
A Bad Customer. Is there anything else
1 can show you, madam?' earnestly inquired
an exhausted clerk in a dry goods store, in
Broadway, the other day after he had emptied
all his shelves and drawers, and strewed his
goods, helter skelter, on the .counter, without
being able to suit the lady with a single article.
'No, I thank you, J think I shan't purchase
any thing to day,' was the consoling reply.-
'As it rains, Mister, I'd thank you to step down
to the stand and call a cab. Well, now, I've
just thought that I left my purse at home, be
so kind as to pay the cabman. Oh, I'd thank
you for the loan of your umbrella as I shall
want it when I get out. Good bye stranger.'
'Good toye, madam!'
Cats. Talking of cats, a friend told us the
following story, which he declared authertic:
A neighbor of his was hewing a log one morn
ing and a cat, which was capering and purring
about him, coming in the way of his axe, was
accidently cetailed. Not liking this 'curtail
men? of her fair proportions, she quickly took
leave of her careless friend, and he had nearly
forgotten the occurrence, when, as he sat at
breakfast one morning, something suddenly
seized the lower part of his leg with its teeth,
and bit it most savagely, until he screamed
with pain. As he sprang from the table to
take vengeance on the offender, the injured cat
rushed out of the room, and was never heard
of afterwards. Very sensible cat that very.
Washington Banner.
Latin Defined. The New Era relates a
story of a farmer whose son had been a long
time ostensibly, studying Latin, in a popular
academy. The farmer, not being perfectly
satisfied with the course and progress of the
young hopeful, reeailed him from school, and
placing him by the side of a cart one day, thus
addressed him: 'Now, Joseph, here is a fork,
there is a heap of manure and a cart ; what do
you call them in Latin?' 'Forkibus, cartibus,
et manuribus,' said Joseph. 'Well now, said
the eld man, 'if you don't take that forkibus
pretty quickibus, Pil break your lazy backibus.?.
Joseph went to woikibus forth withibus.
A man washing his feet in a brook, Streeter
calls a Washing-fo-nian. :
'Whiskey is on the rise,' as the fellow ob
served when he saw a toper heaving up his
morning's dram.
'A change of pastors makes fat calves,' as
the minister reasoned when he accepted a high
er call.
Longfellow's splendid phrase 'Suffer and be
strong,' has been transmorgrined by some pro
saic gentleman into 'Giin and bear it!'
i .
Superstition declares that on the spot where
the rainbow rises, a golden key is left.
Melancholy. When the last poor Indian
shall be left to wander, unbefriended and alone,
upon a wild rocky eoas: in search ot a solita
ry being whom he might call brother when
he shall meditate over the new made grave of
his late and only companion,andthink how
soon he himself must fall to perish in the dust
like the last leaf of autum, front, a noble and
flourishing tree wont he feel kinder sorter
bad about it?
Poor Fellow. An honest son of Enchan
ted by ill luck from his native Isle, fell sick a
mong strangers. He had been "given up" by
his medical attendant, and completed the pre
liminaries of his introduction to the old har
vest death. His exit, however, from thistrou
blesorae scene, was not to be so easy. His
host, with! whom he fell sick, not relishing the
prospect of a funeral at his own expense,pack
ed the poor invalid off to a neighbor in wretqh
ery, from which he was again removed still
in the descending scale,"iiinbe found himself
in that home of the1 homeless, the hospital.
Upon one occasion of tie-usual visit of the
physician, to the everlasting query ,well,how
do you feel?' he?replieu, oh, very bad sir, I
thank you.' 'You seem in verylow spirits
observed Bolus. Yes,' answered the poor fel
low, with a sigh right from the diaphragm, I
think, sir, I'd gii bitiher, but for the thought of
having no where to die!'
LOVE POETRY.
Some anonymous fair one has sent an eas
tern editor the following' morcean the other
day.
This lock of hare
I once did ware,
But now trust it to your care,
And if we no more each other se,
Then look on this, and think on me.V
He was so deeply affected, that he could not
rest until he published the following reply: -Who
you are
That sent tht hare,
I oughter had to but I don't care,
I don': know you, the' you know me,
But I'll try to think, if I don't blow me.'
(Cincinnafti Mic.
A Rich Scene. Tht following rich scene
recently occurred in one of our courts of jus
tice, between the judge and a Dutch witness
all the way from Rotterdam.
Judge. 'What is your native language?'
Witness. 'I pe no native: I's a Docchman.'
Judge. 'What Is your mother tongue?'
Witness; 'Ofader say she pe all tongue.'
Judge, in aa irritable tone 'what language
did you first learn ? what language did you
speak in the cradle?'
iiucsii l nu uui sjjceiK. uu lauguuge in ie
cradle at all, I only cried in Dootch.' Then
there was a general laugh in which the judge,
jury and audience joined. The witness was
interrogated no further about his native lan
guage. (Vicksburg Sentinel.
Little is the robin, Les is the lea
poor is the riter worse is the pen
the rozy red the violet blue
In time they die and so must you.
when this you see remember me
this lock of hare 1 youster ware
and now i present it to you.
yourfrend til death do us part.
dolly.
'I want you to do a lacge job for me,' said a
forger to an engraver, 'but I first wish you to
cut this die forme-' 'I would die first? said
the engraver.
A man by the name of Shaw, committed
suicide in Mecklenburg county, by drowning
himself. He first attempted to cut his throat,
but the knife proving loo severe, he adopted
the cold water method. 0
THE ALTAR.
MARRIED,
Tn this Countv. on the 1st instant, bv the
Rev. Samuel Wait, John L. Prichard, of Dan
ville. Va- to Miss Mary B. Hinton, daughter
of James Hinton, dee'd.
In Washington, N. (J. on the 26th uu. oy
the Rev. James Avent, Mr. Leonard H. Roys
ter. formerlv of this citv. to Miss Julia H. Car-
rnalt, daughter of Mr. John Carmalt.