Smith I hear Mrs. B. has returned
from the country; Brown Yes "the
melancholy days have come, the saddest
of the year." Boston Budget
" Bridget, you are never in the kitchen
when I want you. How is it ?"
.."Sure, mum, it's for the raison there's
no tellin' when you're a wan tin' me."
The Epoch i .: ...
"Aren't you tired of this vacation, ma?"
asked a little fellowr " I am ;tired of - the
noise you make, that's all.".. 'And I'm
tired of the noise you make trying to sop
the noise I makex." Honors were easy.
Hartof d Post. ' ,
" Come in, my poor man"," said a beney-
olent lady to a ragged tramp," and I" will
give you." something to , eat. , I suppose
your life has been full of trials ?" '
Yis, mum'; an theWust 'of it albwuz.
T1 alius e-ot Convicted!" i i: , ,! r I
o J . 7 . k
'"Please sir, have you seen a gentleman
Without a little girl V : - 1
: M Well, and what if I- have, little one ?"
"My Uncle John has lost me, and ij,
thouget if you d seen a gentleman with
out a little girlj yon could tell me where
he was. Harpers loung Pepple. , f
Summer hotel manager " I declare, I
don't know what I am going to do next
winter ; the hotel hasn't paid me any-;
thing. ti , ; i , . . . ; ;
Head waiter " Well, if you get hard
up I'll give you' a lift.' It shan't be said
that there's no honor among thieves so
long as I have a dollar."
A boy was being examined as a witness
in a New Vork court. The point invol
ved was proving the date of an affray.
Lawyer How do you know that the
fight occured on Sunday? "Because it
was the day I had to go to the side door
of the saloon for beer" " That settles it,"
remarked the judge. Texas Sitings.
Doctor : ' Did you give the patient that
white powder at 10 o'clock? Nurse:
" Yes sir." Doctor : " And the liquid at
II?" Nurse: "No, sir." Doctor: Didn't?
You rascal ? I want it understood that
my orders are to be obeyed. Why, did
you not give the liquid? Answer me."
Nurse: "The patient died' at 10.05."
Omalia World.
talking
Briggs "Tompkins has been
about you.
"Has he? ' The idiotic old liar ! What
did he say ?"
" Why, he said you were the best look
ing man in the block."
" Wh Oh, I see ! Well, you know
Mr. Tompkins was always conceded to
have a great deal of taste." Judge.
. - . . . .
"Darling," he whispered, "did you
ever feel a fluttering sensation of the heart
an inward sinking, so to speak ?"
" Yes, love," she murmured : " my?"
" Because if you have, I know how to
prevent it. 'A
" Oh, John, tell me how 1" . ' "
"Why, just use plenty of pepper when
you eat green cucumbers." Arkansaw
Traveler.
Customer (to tailor) Do you make the
new style dress coat, designed to distin
guish a gentleman from a waiter ? Tailor
Yes, sir. Customer I believe you may
take my measure. Tailor (taking his
measure) Where may I have the pleas
ure of sending the coat, sir ? Customer
The Hoffman. Tailor You are a guest
there, I suppose, sir? Customer No,
I'm one of the waiters.
A. " I see that in the preface to your
book you state it is written to fill a long
felt want."
B. "Yes; and so it is."
" What do you mean by filling a long
felt want?" .
"What do I mean? Why, I've been
needing a square meal for the past two
years. Don't you call that a long-felt
want?" Sitings.
" What brought you to this place, my
friend?" inquired a visitor at the peniten
tiary of a convict.
" A mere matter of opinion got me
here, sir." t
"Impossible!"
" No, sir. I expressed the opinion that
I was innocent, and the jury expressed
the opinion that I wasn't. It's a cold
world, sir." Life.
t
We ventured to ask a colored brother
last week if he thought it was going to
rain. He eyed the clouded sky some
what blankly, and said: "Defac' is, boss,
dis weather is got so free lately you can't
count on it f or steddy work." Very cor
rect. Superfluous freedom, either in the
weather or any othej American citizen,'is
not the best preparation for steady work.
Dr. Hatcher, in Baltimore Baptist.
A cheerful view, if not a strictly cor
rect one," is taken of a seeming misfortune
by a Texas paper, which observes : "It
is a good thing that the cattle in Texas
are dying off, for when they die off they
decrease in number, when they decrease
in number they become more valuable,
when they become more valuable their
owner becomes wealtheir. Therefore! it
is a good thing for the cattle to die off."
Proud father Welcome back to the old
farm, my boy. So you got through col
lege all right ?
Father's son Yes, father.
Proud father Ye - know I told ye to
study up on chemistry and things so you'd
know best what to do with different kinds
of land. What do you think of that flat
meeder there, for instance ?
Father's son Cracky, what a place for
a ball game! Tid-Bits.
First Omaha Burdar Sav. Bill here's
y ... ."i . . . . t
a eminent citizen advertisin for a faithful
watch. doer. - ...
j - - ' . - - - .
Second Burglar Well,' ,I;hate to part
witn my dog agaify but 0 ll nave to. .
: 11 Well, I'll take him ordund and sell
mm to mm. x r sure he s faithful, are
"Every time. He'll be- faithful to us
every time we want tQ enmo in tne win
dows." kOmaha World:
,' : " Then I am not ' to call on you any
more," he said, ' as he twirled his hat in
his hand. , 5
" That ia what I inteiiuVd to' say," she
replied, coolly.
"And Our engagement is all over ?" v
"Well," she said, with some asperity,
"if you've gone -and talked, about it to
everybody ' I' suppose it is. I'm sure, I
haven't1 said anything about it. If it is
all over, it's your own fault."- Yashing
ton Critic' !
Intending '.Emigrant? "Did you ever
see a cyclone?" ' .
Man from' Dakota i Only bne, but it
was a regular1' old-timer with all modern
improvements." - -' ; " '
" Did it strike your house ?"
; " should say it did !" ' "
rIfcumed you, of course ; swept every
thing away?'; ? , ;
" No, sir: ' didn't take a thin?. The!!
sheriff had been there that very morn
ing, and he did the sweeping. You never
saw a cyclone .so disappointed in your
life I" Harper's Bazar.
A man with a package of Price's bak
ing powder in his hancl rang the bell at
the door of the Peterby mansion in a
Texas town.
44 I've got something that every good
housekeeper ought to have," he said.
' What is it ? asked Mrs, Peterby.
" It is a new. kind .of baking powder."
"None for me, if you please. I slipped
up on some baking powder not long ago.
It was of no account in the world."
" Is that so?- Is it possible that I have
been here before ?"
" Tompkinson," said a somewhat rapid
traveling) man to a friend, whose tastes
and habits were much like his own, " I'm
very much worried:"
" I. wouldn't cultivate it, ray dear fel
low. But what's the trouble ?" '
" Debts. I'm overwhelmed with them.
I canlt turn a corner without running
into a creditor. There's the Jiatter, and
the tailor, and the gents' furnisher, and
the florist, and the liveryman an fact I
don't see but one way out the difficulty.'
" What is that?"
" I've a good notion to commit suicide."
"And add the undertaker to the list!
My dear fellow, at least be reasonable."
Merchant Traveler.
A man came to the" house of a promi
nent New York gentleman, who was re
nowned for not paying his debts, and
knocking at the doorasked the boy who
appeared if his father was in.
"No, sir, he has left town to be gone a
month. He is in Chicago right now."
" I am sorry, for I wanted to pay a lit
tle bill I was owing him." '" .
"O, you want to pay 'him money, do
your
" Yes, certainly. . Here it is."
" Well, then, I'll run in and ask him if
he hasn't got back.",
The man had got back from Chicago,
but the visitor, who. was a deputy sheriff,
served atcitatipn on him for house rent.
Texas Siftingsl
"Well er," said the youth, rising, "I
er guess I'd better go. It's 10 o'clock."
" Oli, 3rou need not hurry unless you
want to," said the young lady.
"But er your father may object to
my staying any longer," rejoined the
youth. " I have er read so much about
stern fathers coming downstairs and er
forcibly ejecting from their houses young
men who stayed rather late in company
with ' their daughters, . that er I am
rather afraid to remain longer."
"Oh!" exclaimed the beautiful maiden,
with a laugh, "you needen't be afraid.
There are seven girls of us still unmarried,
and pa would rather invite you to a late
lunch than do anything to render your
visit unpleasant. He always keeps him
self carefully out of the way when young
men call at the house."
"And you aw say that cannot be
mine," said Mr. Fitzpoodle, as he with
drew the knob of his cane from his mouth
and examined it attentively to see
whether he had removed any of the var
nish in his efforts to amuse himself.
"No, I can never be yours," the fair
maiden answered. "You suit very well
for an ornamental appendage at parties,
hops and so forth, . but I am afraid you
would not wear well as a husband."
" Yet aw I have heard you say that
I possessed one admirable quality."
" Yes, you have one admirable quality.
You are considerate to your enemy."
'"Considerate to jny enemy?"
" Yes, you never put an enemy in your
mouth to steal away you brains."
"No, nevah."
And that shows you to be very consid
erate to your enemy."
"In what respect?"
"In not imnosinsr on your enemy an
impossible task." Boston Courier.
The following incident is told of Signor
Brignoli, the tenor: He was singing dn
concert for a charitable object, when the
prime donna was suddenly attacked with
singers', sore throat, and it became neces
sary for some one to apologize to the au
dience. The manager declared that he
was- suffering from nervousness and
could not do it ; and he begged Bignoli to
make the exnlanation. The
forward, said. .
' "Ladies an' gentlemen, I 'regret to zay
zat Mme. W eez a leetle horse diz
eveninV ''' 1 .'--v : v . re ¬
peals of laughter greeted this announcer
ment, and the tfcrioVeupposed he had been
misunderstood. , r . -
He advanced once' more and, with thun
dering voice, roared out : ' .
" I zay zatH3me.W2 eee -a
leetle horse dis eveninM",.,
CAPE FEAR AtfD YADKIN "VAL
LEY RAILWAY COMPANY.
CONDENSED SCHEDULE No. 28. '
Taking effect 5:00 A. M-,' Monday, 'Oct. iTtiv lsS?.
TRAINS MOVING NORTH. -
Arrival and Departure Passenger and r Freight and
of Trains. Mail. Accom'dat'n
Leave Bennetts ville;.. 4 &.45A.M. 2.15 P.M.
Arrive Mar -mi.. "11.20 " 4.25
Leave Ma n 11.30 " "5.30 ' " , :
Arrive Fayette ville,.. ;. , 1.30 P. M. .8.30-
Leave Fayetteville. ..V ' 2.00 " 8.00 A.M.
Arrive Sanford I v 4.05 " 12.00 noon.
Leave. Sanford 4.15 " 1.05 P.M.
Arrive Greensboro...; 7.25 " 6.50 "
Leave Greensboro. 1 ; ' 1Q.00 A. M.
Arrive Pilot Mountain 2.45 P. M.
Passenger and Mail, No. 1 Dinner at Fayeitevllle.
Passenger and Mail,. No.-.' 11 Dinner at Germanton.:
TRAINS MOVING SOUTH.
Arrival and Departure
of Trains. .
Leave Pilot Mountain
Arrive Greensboro. . . .
Leave Greensboro....
Arrive Sanford
Leave Sanford
Arrive Fayetteville...
Leave Fayetteville
Arrive Maxton...
Leave Maxton
Arrive Bennetts ville . .
Passenger and
i , Mau.
4.00 P. M.
8.15 "
9.50 A. M.
12.55 P. M.
1.15 "
8.20 "
3.30 "
5:15 "
5.25 "
7.00 "
.Freight and
Accom'dat'n
6.00 A. M.
12.00 noon.
1.30 P. M.
6.00 ."' -
6.00 A. M.
9.20 "
10.03 "
12.45 P. M.
Say What You Will,
People WILL buy goods where they
can ;find what they W&NT and at the
CHEAPEST ; PRICES.; We do not
advertise simply to parade before the
public but we want the public to bear
in mind that we are still keeping up
our large stock of t HEAVY V GRO
CERIES, and are as lively as ver.
Come and see us; ?
BARBEE & BARBEE.
TO -THE 'LAiDrES.
Passenger and Mail, No. 2 Dinner at Sanford.
FACTORY BRANCH. FREIGHT AND AC
COMMODATION. TRAINS MOVING NORTH.
Leave Millboro 8.05 A. M. I 5.45 P. M.
Arrive Greensboro 9.35 " 7.25 "
TRAINS MOVING SOUTH.
Leave Greensboro . . ..... 2.00 P. M.
Leave Factory Junction... 3.00 " 7.15 P.M.
Arrive Millboro 3.45 " 8.00 "
Passenger and Mail Trains run daily except Sun
day. Freight and Accommodation Train runs between
Bennettesville and Fayetteville on Mondays, Wed
nesdays and Fridays and between Fayetteville and
Greensboro on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
Freight and Accommodation Train runs between
Greensboro and Fayetteville on Mondays, Wednes
days and Fridays, and between Fayetteville and
Bennettsville on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Satur
days. , Trains on Factory Branch run daily except Sun
day. Close connection is made at Maxton with Caro
lina Central Railway Passenger Trains to and from
Wilmington. W. E. KYLE,
General Passenger Agent.
J. W. FRY,
General Superintendent.
CAROLINA CENTRAL R. R. CO.,
Office of Superintexdent,
Wilmington, N. C, Sept. 27, 1885. f
CHANGE OF SCHEDULE.
ON AND AFTER THIS DATE THE FOLLOW
lowing schedule will be operated on this rail
road :
PASSENGER, MAIL AND EXPRESS TRAIN:
DAILY EXCEPT STNDAYS.
1 Leave Wilmington at f 7.00 P. M.
No. 1. V Leave Raleigh at 7.35 P. M.
i Arrive at unanoue at -. . . v.au a. ji.
1 Leave Charlotte at ,' 8.15 P. M.
No. 2. V Arrive at Raleigh at 9.00 A. M.
) Arrive at Wilmington at , ; 8.25 A. M.
LOCAL FREIGHT PASSENGER CAR AT
TACHED. Leave Charlotte at . 7.40 A. M.
Arrive at Laurinburg at 5.45 P. M,
Leave Laurinburg at 6.15 A. M.
Arrive at Charlotte at . : 4.40 P. M.
Leave Wilmington at 6.45 A. M.
Arrive at Laurinburg at 5-.00 P. M.
Leave Laurinburg at 5.30 A. M.
Arrive at Wilmington at 5.40 P. M.
Local Freight between Wilmington and Laurin
burg Tri-weeKly leaving Wilmington on Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays. Leave Laurinburg on
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
.Passenger trains stop at regular stations only, ana
.points designated in the Company's Time Table.
.SHELBY DIVISION, PASSENGER, MAIL, EX
PRESS AND FREIGHT.
(Daily except Sundays.)
Leave Charlotte at. 8.15 A. M.
f Arrive Shelby at 12.15 P.M.
) Leave Shelby at. 1.40 A. M.
( Arrive at Charlotte at 5.40 P. M.
Trains No. l and 2 make close connection at
namlet with R. & A. Trains to and from Raleigh.
Through Sleeping Cars between Wilmington and
Charlotte and Raleigh and Charlotte. , . .
Take Train No. 1 for Statesville, Stations on
Western N. C. R. R., Asheville and points West. '
Also, for Spartanburg, Greenville, Athens, At
lanta and all points Southwest.
L. C. JONES, Superintendent.
W. F. Clark, General Passenger Agent.
No. 3.
No. 4.
A Fine, Thoroughbred
JERSEY BULL 1
I have a fine Jersey Bull, registered, that I will
sell or exchange for a yoke of Oxen, or a good .Mule
or Saddle Horse. He is in full vigor and of good
size and form. Apply to
W. B. SMITH,
oc271m Forestville, N. C.
The Eastern Reflector,
GREENVILLE, N. C.
J, D, WHICHARD, Editor and Propristor.
THE LEADING PAPER
In the First Congressional District.
LATELY ENLARGED TO 32 COLUMNS!
Subscription Price, $1.50 per year.
Thoronsrhlv Democratic, but will not hesitate to
criticise Democratic men and measures that are not
consistent with the true principles of the party.
Tf you want a paper from a wide-awake section of
the State, send for the Heflector. "SAMPLE
COPY FREE 1
LIBERAL ADVERTISING RATES
I WILk SEND, YOU10 PAPERS of
Garden., peds, guaranteed fresh, and
a copy of il jhcmg the Ti-uthf. a book of
220 pages, well bound iri cloth with gilt
side title; has eleven illustrations. , It is a
story "spun from' facts'! rin real life.
opening on a'Virginia "battle field and!
closing on '.North Carolina soil, in a vic
tory greater, .than the sword has won.
The ,book has met a hearty welcome. The
general verdict is." "If you begin to read
it' you will finish it." To purchasers
who return the book in five days with a
sworn statement that it did . not interest
them the money will- b, rfettirned. .The
Seeds (10 papers) name your choice of i
varieties and the book will be sent, post
paid for 75 cents.
Address J.P.BARRETT,'
2-4-3w Raleigh, N. C.
UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE
State Agricultural and Mechanical College,
FULLY ORGANIZED
AS AN IND USTRIAL INSTITUTION.
A New Mechanical Department!
A beautiful, well-ordered farm. Courses in Agri
culture, Mechanics, Engineering, General Science,
Applied Chemistry, Latin, Science, &c.
The military discipline is faithful, but reasonable.
Situation beautiful and very healthful. A home
like infirmary with free medical attention and nurs
ing for the sick. Tuition $40. Best Board $10
ftr month. Total expenses for nine months, $175.
ightieth session begins Sept. 1st, 1887.
For full particulars, address
Dr. CHAS. W. DABNEY, Jr., President,
Knoxville, Tenn.
THE HIGH POINT CLASSICAL INSTITUTE,
; . HIGH POINT, N. C.
A School to Meet the Demands of To-Day.
Both Sexes Admitted.
Fire Courses of Study Expenees Low. .
Large attendance last year.
Next Session begins August 29th, 1887.
Write at once for Catalogue.
jl283m Rev. S. II. Thompson, Principal-
FOR SALE, OPT EASY TERMS!,
(6) . 15 Horse-Power Engine and Boiler. '
(3V 20 Horse-Power Engine and Boiler."
(2) 25 Horse-Power Engine and Boiler. i
12 Saw Mills with Saws.
10 Boilers, from 20 to 80 Horse-Power. ?
A lot of Wood-Working Machinery, Cotton Gins
and Presses, Saws and Belting. it
Address, Branch Office, Mecklenburg Iron Works,
ma266m Columbia, Factory, N. O
HERE WE ARE
"We make our bow to the thousands
, of readers of this paper.
WE OFFER AT LO WEST PRICES
EE X R D W" A E E
STOVES,
TINWARE
SASH,
DOORS,
BLINDS, '
LIME,
PLASTER,
CEMENT,
PAINTS,
OILS,
LOADED SHELLS,
GUNS,
PISTOLS,
POWDER,
SHOT,
SHELLS, '
CAPS,
WADS,
BREECH-LOADING
MATERIALS,
GLASS,
TWO CENTS EACH
BEST O O ODS, SQUARE DEALING.
Thos. H. Briggs & Sons
Briggs Building, Raleigh, N. C. .
oc61y
1
Home-Raised Seeds.
Better adapted to our soil and climate than any
others. Having enlarged my operations and re
duced my prices, I am hoping to enlarge my circle
of trade correspondingly. The experience of every
year shows more and more the ; euperiqrity of
Native Seeds.
Send for catalogues and trv thera one year.
J. W. VANblVER, Seedsman,
Weaverville, N. C.
ISLAND HOME STOCK FARM
Percheroa Hones.
French Coach Hones.
Sarae & Faruum. Impor
ter and Breeders of Per.
cheroa and French Cach
Horses. I sland Home Stock
Farm, Gross Isle, Wayne
County Mich. We offer a
very large studofhorses to
select from, we guarantee
our stock, make prices rea
sonable and seil on easy
terms. Visitors always web
come. Large catalogue
tree. Address
Sarage Jk Farsnm,
JDSTKOXT MICU
Tii'POT!
THE RED TEA POT,
THE MAMMOTH TEA POTI
The 100 Gallon TeaPot.
You can't fail to see it. Youmusn't
fail to see it.
Everybody who comes to Winston
musUook.at.the ...... .
7 i
JUMBO TEA POT.
What for? Because it locates the spot
where you can sell your Chickens, Tur
keys,, figgs, Butter, Potatoes. . Onions,
Beans, Peas, Honey, " Bacon, Lard," Ap
ples, &c, &c, ' at the highest market
prices. And more important still, it tells
you where you can get your v
COFFEE, SUGAR, '
SYRUP, MOLASSES,
BACON, XARD, MEAL.
And all the best quality of
HEAVY and FANCY
GROCERIES.
At prices that will not only please you,
but will astonish you.
If you want to sell anything or buy
anything, come to the
BIG TEA POT.
OPPOSITE THE POSTOFFICE.
WINSTON, N. C.
THE GREENSBORO PATRIOT 1
A BEACON LIGHT OF CIVILIZATION !
63 YEARS OLD,
And. grows more interesting every
issue!
Z. W. WHITEHEAD,
Ed. and Prdp.
THE PATRIOT
Is Brim full of Local, Statk and Nation
al news, together with the Farmers'. Tal-
uable Agricultural Department.
THE PATRIOT is the largest, oldest
and most extensively circulated in Pied
mont North Carolina, embracing the en
tire tobacco belt.
ADVERTISERS
Must appreciate; ,the value, of such " a
mediun for placing'; their business ' before
a prosperous people..
i . iiih in. tjjg '
; !
Greensboro, N. C.
Boats the: Record.
The State Chropiicle,
PUDLISnED AT
RALEIGH, N. C,
lias doubled ita circulation in one year. It is still
going forward. Send for a sample copy; or send
one dollar ana taite it tor six montns.
Address JOSEPH US DANIELS,
, Editor and Proprietor.
RALEIGH
Christian Advocate,
! PUBLISHED AT
Raleigh, N. C.
F. L. REID, Editor and Proprietor.
Established in in 1 85o. The official or- 1
gan of over eighty thousand North Caro- ;
lina Metliodists. Every Methodist ought :
to take it, and every business man ought
to advertise in it.
It has a large circulation in North"
Carolina. Advertising rates liberal, given
on application. ' ,;
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE, $2 per annum.
For further information address
Rev. F. L. REID,
Raleigh, N. C.
THE LANDMARK,
STATESVILLE, N. C,
l8 a36-colamn newspaper, and is acknowled to be .
one of the handsomest in the State.
It is Democratic in it politics, but doesn't wear
any collar. It has opinions, and expresses them.
Lays no claims to being the ablest paper In the
State, but has the comfortable assurance that as a
North Carolina neics-p&per, it Is something of a
success. . .
It would be pleased to have more advertisement
and more subscribers, thouji it has no right to
complain of a great lack of either.
"Specimen copies sent with pleasure to any
one who means business. . -
J. P. CALDWELL, Editor and Propr.
i