THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER Tuesday, November IV, 1903, THE HOME CIRCLE Crismus Times Is Come. I. HOW DOC HOOVER'WAS "RETIRED." When de sheppnds watch, de sheep on de plain ob Beflehem (Crismus times is come,) Dey was 'stonished at de star dat went a-swinging ober dem, (Crismus times is come;) Deyviean upon de sheppud crooks a-shadin' ob der eyes, (Crismus times is come,) An dey know de sun ob glory was when it happened. The Complete Story as Toldby " Old Gorgon" Graham in a ITew Letter to His Son Pierrepont, Whenever I hear any of this talk about carting off old fellows to the a-irwine fur to rise, (Crismus times is come,) De-wise men walk wid der heads bent low Twell dey hear a ban o' music like dey nebber hear befo', An de angels come a-singin' wid de stars in der han's "An der flamin' wings a-shinin' on de heathun lan's. n. tered, and everybody was happy but Hoover was due to get back they the Deacon. He began laying for called a special meeting and retired the Doc right there. And without the old man with the title of pastor meaning to, it seems that I helped -emeritus. They voted him two dona- his little game along, tion parties a year as long as he Doc iloover used to write me every lived, and elected the Higher Lifer now and then, allowing that hams as . the permanent pastor of the were scarcer in Missouri and more church. Deacon Wiggleford suggest- wivniAii J ttitt nsiMrinWhmisfi than ed the nastor emeritus extm tt glue factory I always think of .Doc they had any right to be if the bal- didn't quite know what it meant, but Ho'over and the time they tried the . , moa 0 K maintainA hd heard it in Chorn 0.1 u "dead-line-at-fifty' racket on nim, he had demand andrI had S0Unded pretty good, and as if it though he was something over eighty fce 8 w and he wanted to know ought to be a heap of satisfaction to what I was going to do about it. a" fellow who was being fired. Be- I, always shipped; back a tierce by sides, it didn't cost anything, and fast freight,: because I was afraid the Deacon was one of those Chris- that if I tried to argue the point he'd tians who think that you ought to be come himself and take a carload. He able to save a man's immortal soul made a specialty of seeing that every for two bits. v one in town had enough food and The Pillars were mighty hot next enough religion, and he wasn't to day when they heard what had hap- be trifled wijh when he discovered a pened, and were for calling another shortage of either. A mighty good special meeting; but two or three of After I left Missouri, Doc stayed right along, year after year, in the old town, handing out hell to the sin ners in public, on Sundays, and dis tributing cornmeal and side-meat to them on the quiet, week-days. He was a boss shepherd, you bet, and he didn't stand for any church rows or such like nonsense among his sheep. - . . ill a- When one of them got into trouoie, RfllpfiTTinT1 wns iost when Doc trot re- them erot together and decided that. De kings of de erf woke up dat night, the Doc was always on hand with his ij on it was best to lay loV and avoid a Ail 1 Enk 'shabbv in de crook to pul1 Hm OUt' but letn , Well, one day something more than row until the Doc got back. hallyluyer light, ram try to start any stampede-ana- ten yearg agQ he wrote in? threaten- He struck down the next week with (Crismus times is come,) f ollow-the - leader - oyer-the-precipice t k th i raid on my a jugful 0f water from the River But de po' man riz en tuck his ole foolishness, and he got the sharp end smokehouse, and when I answered, Jordan in one hand and a gripful hat down, of the stick. advisim? him that the eroods were of paper-weights made of wood from An' hit look so fine dat he fought it There was one old biUy-oat in the shipped j incl0Sed a little check and the Mount of Olives in the other, wer a crown, church, a grocer named Deacon told him to spend it on a trip to the He was chockful of the joy of having (Crismus times is come,) Wiggleford, who didn't really like the Holy Land wnicn jd seen advertised, been away- and of the happiness of Ole Jordan roll high en old Jor- Elder's way of -preaching. Wanted He backed and fiued over goins at getting back, till they told him about dan roll lOW. 4-n o-rlr 4-lict A m a 1 olr 1 o a in nia n . n 11 .t 1 . 1 . .1 -r-v . 1 ,v 1 An' de star stood still whar de folks AimaiVtt"vo " nrst, but nnaiiy tne cnurcn took it tne jueacon s goings on, ana men ne had to fro sermons, and to leave the grocery Qut of hig hands and. arranged for went sort of gray and old, and sat An' de angels flew away agin a- business alone. Would holler Amen! a young fellow not long out of the for a minute all humped up. leavm7 arter dem when the parson got after the money Theological Seminary to fill the pul- Si Perkins, who was one of the uiaz ruuu xruux u t uP changers m the emple, but would it and Doc put a coupie Gf extra unregenerate, but a mighty good siiut up uiiu luua auui YYiic wo shifts in a grip and started on. iriend 01 tne uoc s, was stanamg Dy. a crack at the short-weight prune heard the rest of the story from Si and he blurted right out: "You say sellers of the nineteenth century. perkin8 next fall, when he brought the word, Doc, and we'll make the Said he "went to church to hear the on fl collT,ie of carloads of steers o vounsr - neonle's society ride this fi A - IV t .. " . . preached," and that Ohiofitm. antl tried to stick me half rnntPr nut of town on ft rail " -r " J 1. 1 .1 j.1 I . . . - ., jtosum up ue oie uuw eu tuuU may nave been one ot tne reasons, a cent more than the market for That seemed to wake the Elder up - ?CHsmus times is come-) but he didn,t want lt aPPlied be" them on the strength of our having' a bit, for he shook his head and said, Dere's no mo' conin' ob de log in de cause there wasnt any place where come from same town. "No nonsense now, Si;" and then nighty m m the Doc could lay it on without cut- jt seems that the young man who he began to think. All of 'a sudden (Crismus times is come,) tine: him on the raw. The real trou- 0nV Tina -nW wpq rm of tnpso , ia v. nnrl swell O glory to de lam fur de hallyluyer ble with the Deacon was that he'd fPnftws th nink tea instead of red u h tonH it was to his in. ' Den pile on de light'ood en set aroun' de fire, (Crismus times is come,) light, (Crismus times is come.) never really got grace, but only a blood in his veins. Hadn't any opin- full six feet four, and it was all man. De Crismus possum am a-bakin' I pretty fair imitation. I ion3 except your opinions until he I You could see that he was boss of mighty snug, Well, one time after the Deacon met some one else. Preached pret- himself again, and when a man like littLf Sct frf? tUmWer 611 t bck from his ,faU trip North ty, fluffy little things, and used eau old Doc Hoover is boss of himself he Wid de co'ncob stopper, en de to buy goods, he tried to worry the de cologne on his language. Never comes pretty near being boss of every honey in de bowl, Doc by telling him that all the min- hit any nearer home than the un- one around him. He sent word to An' a-glory hallyluyer en a-bless isters in Chicago were preaching that speakable Turk, and then he was the Higher Lifer by one of the Pil- you soul. - there wasn't any super-heated here- scared to death till he found out that lars that he reckoned he was count- John-Henry Boner ("Boner's Ly- after, but that each man. lived the dark-skinned fellow under the ing on him to preach his farewell riCS. ) I throiinh his shnro of hell ricrht here I Cflllprv was on A rmpnifiTi fTPKo At- I ca-mn-n Vta ni-t Run rlflv. and tne o a I c? ' - - w ..a 1 1 hi 11 1 iivi jUi1; 7 on earth. Doc's face fell at first, but menian left the chureh anvwav. hp.- I xrnno. -mon wlinM Vppn keev'ms in Turkish Proverbs. It i j -Ui-n I rr..i tjJ. , , -n i oa o-n. uuecicu up mig"n.ijr juici iiwoxxi caust? tuo imspeaKauie iurK uauui the DacKground nil wnaievei With patience sour grapes become it over for a moment, and allowed been soaked hard enough to suit ing to drop dropped, came around sweet and the mulberry leaf satin, it might be so; in fact, that he was him.) Didn't preach much for the to welcome him in person. But while By the time the wise man gets sure it was so, as far as those fellows Bible, but talked on the cussedness the Doc had been doing a heap of were concerned they lived in Chi- of Robert Elsmere and the low-down- praying for grace, he didn't propose cago. And next Sunday he preached ness of Trilby. Was always, wanting to take any chances, and he didn't hell so hot that the audience fairly everybody to lead the higher life, see him. And he wouldn't talk to sweated. without ever really letting on what any one else, just smiled in an ag He wound up his sermon by deplor- it was, or at least so any one could gravating way, though everybody ex ing the tendency to atheism which lay hold of it by the tail. (I always cept Deacon Wiggleford and the few he had noticed "among those mer- duck when one of these felltfws makes youngsters who'd made the trouble chants who had recently gone up a pass about the higher life to me.) called to remonstrate with him with the caravans to Babylon for In the end, I reckon he'd have .against any attention to their fool spices" (this was just his high-toned worked around to Hoyle's games ishness. way of describing Deacon Wiggle- just to call attention to their wick- The whole town turned out the ford's trip to Chicago Ih a day coach edness, of course. next Sunday to see the Doc step for groceries) and hoped that the The Pillars of the church, who'd down. You couldn't have squeezed a goods which they brought back were been used to getting their religion bottle of anti-fat into the church "He that ruleth his spirit is better better than the theology. Of course, raw. from Doc Hoover, didn't take when meeting-time came. Doc a Jthan he that taketh a city." the old folks on the mourners' bench to the bottle kindly, and they all fell the Higher Lifer sat side by si.ae looked around - to see how. the Dea- away except Deacon Wiggleford. He the platform,' and behind them tn '.married the fool has grown-up chil dren. ' ' Give a swift horse to him who tells the truth, so that as soon as he. has told it he may ride and es cape. - Be not so severe that you are 'blamed for it, nor so gentle that you are trampled upon for it. a If you have to gather thorns, do it by the stranger's hand. Mary A. Mason in "In Lighter Vein" in the November Century. -xmBW wo. 2 of a aerie ofTwenty-flv moa i i , , ' ,. , When North Carolina Poems selected especially for con was takmS xt and the young- and the youngsters seemed to . cotton six deacons were lined up. wneu j. ce irrogressive Farmer by the Editor. sters DacK on tne giggiers' Dencn tit- to the new man, and just before Doc came time to begin the servu the X

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