Newspapers / The Torchlight (Oxford, N.C.) / May 12, 1874, edition 1 / Page 1
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if- H' if ! 1 f i t , ... - .. - .'ii' " 1 - r f r 4 i J si 11" 3 DAVIS & ROBINSON, Editors said Proprietors. " VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF IJFE, THAT GIVES IT ALL ITS FLAVOR. - 5. TERM$10 per Annum, in Adrance. .is VOL. U OXFORD, jGIIANYILLE COUTi!K...O.j!.TTO MORNING, HAY 121 1874. MS- NO. 21. -7 ay- i : . ; zr-;7 ..... . , v - .;.rrv7s rr: ji iW 11 I 1 11 ' I . I 11 1 r I 1 1 I II . II I ' J ' 1 1 ' ' " ; . ... i .. -: -. : -. -t it- . -r? .71 w Cpn't Staj after Tea. TO - YOUNG MEN ; WHO PEOIONQ .THEIR CAIXS TO .1 UNSEASONABLE HOURS. I've lust a word to say to you, "When jne you come to see, ' You knoyr that none in all the world Is half as dear to me. , ' '.Tis this would request of you, . -. -. That when you come again,' To see ine in the even' time, . You w -n't stay after ten. ; For after ten as moments fly, , I tremble o'er and o'er, Lest papa's visage I should see Come peeping at the door. lie's therp to execute his threat,. He said; he'd surely come, (If e'er you stayed so late again,) And te 1 you to go home. Anl so though your society 3Iake tieart and pulse throb warm ; I heave a 'sigh of vast relief i At your retreating form. You know that you are welcome, aye, Oh ! best-beloved of men ; But manjr a scolding you have caused, By staging after ten. Since we kaye thought it;over, Wc doni't think we'll call again ; If so much "fwns" is made ! - ' ' By staying after ten. Eds. BS CEEEETUL. . m.Vquad. Nothing lightens one's burdens so much as a cheerful spirit,, and one cheerful person in a house will hiake; shuiisbine for 'all the other inmates, - Don't ceo through the world- imagining that you are a pall bearer out have ah encour aging word for your -feliow""mor-, tals, and a. cheerful smile for all you meet- ' : If you come upon a bov who is wailing over the pain of a stubbed toe, tell rim its lucky he didn't break his neck, tickle him under the arms and ask him if he doesnt -like raisius, putting your hand in your poekat. If he says he does, tell him to be a good Ibbyj save his pennies, and that he'll some day have enough to buy a whole pound. Take your coat -tail and wipe his tears away, chuck him under the chin, and! he'll brighten up like a tin pan rubbed with a woolen rag and brickUust . 'f I ' . " If you itieet an old man carrying a sad facc as he looks around upon the world land, reflecfa that it will soon kno, him no more, slap him on the bak,; tell him to brace up, and ask him to go out with you next night and hook harvest ; ap ples. - If lie replies that his days of uselulriess are ro'er, ;;auSthat tlie embers of the dying year will cast their dark shadows on his coffin, smile the harder and laugh the merrier, you can bring him but of his sad mood if you try, and he'll , go home sp good-natured that he wont ask j where in thunder his spectacles pre, nor maul his grand children with a club because his rocldng-cliair faces the east instead of the west. If you fibd a young man sitting on a goods box looking melancholy and down-hearted, give him your hand and (tell him that you'll be his friend for life, inform hinf that you havn't got a water-mellon patch of your ; own, but that old Saunders has. mellons by the cart load, and that, according to vouf unbiased judgment, it's going to be a dark jnight and Saunders has a sore eye! and can't shoot worth shucks. That young man will . get rift of his depressd spirits' in about a York minute, and you can count !on his friendship fore v- If you know of a fellow who is courting' a! girl, and her folks are down on him, take him by the hand and bid him have hope for the futurel Advise him -to get up an elopement and help to plan one s ; ink 'few: minutes : his t8ad. smile wiU? disappear behind' his ears, and he'll relish plug tobacco ibr - the first time In a monthv You'll see his shirt bosom begin to heave and toss; his ears to work, and he'll declare, with tears in his eyes,' that your encouraging words have saved him from de struction. - : IT; ybtfmeet' 'the father Of the girl whom the above young man is courting and intends to elope with ; hit him on the back and ask him why that furrowed, brow, those care-lines and, that mouriir fpl eye ? Tell him all about the' plan to steal his daughter away, and his mournful eye will be gone in three seconds, wfiile his : face will smile like a duck pond cow slip. He'll invite you to lie on hand to see the fun, and you should encourage him by stand ing under the pear tree while he: catches the lover and mopshim over the horseradish bed. - . Life is short, and it : is a dutv we owe our fello w-men to be cheer ful. Even if a man wants to bor row a dollar of you until he can see his brother Sani and get what Sam owes him, you can smile as you .reply that you are dead-broke, but that Tompkins has a hundred dollars in his pocket which he is hankering to lend, and thus soften the mans disappointment a great deal. ' ' - . . 's " " Mixed Things. " Two items in an English paper, one describing the presentation of a gold-headed cane to tbe Rev. Dr. Mude, the other describing: a O 7 m - ........ c . patent pig-killing and sausage ma chine, got as badly mixed in "ma king up" as if 'they had been run t through the machine, thuslv : Sev eral of the Rev. Dr Muds;e's friends called upon him yesterday, arid after a brief conversation, the un suspicicous pig was seized by the hind legs and slid along a beam until he reached, the j- hot-water tank. His friends explained the object of their visit, and presented him with a handsome (gold-headed butcher, who grabbed him by the tail, swung him rbuud, cut his throat from ear to ear, and in lass than a mipute, the carcass was in the water. Thereupon he came forward, and said that there were times when the feelings over powered one, and, for that reason, he would not .attempt to do more than thank those around! him for the manner in which such a huge animal was cut into j fragments was simply .astonishing. The doctor concluded his remarks wheif the machine seized hinl,'and in less time than it takes to write i, the pig was cut into delicious sausages. The occasion will long be remembered bv tlie doctor's friends as one of the most delight ful of their lives. The best pieces can be procured for teripence a pound, and we are sure that those who have sat so long under his ministry, will rejoice that he has been treated so handsomely. Jg If your mother's mother is my mother's aunt, what j relation would your, great-grandfather's nephew be to my elder brother's son-in-law ? ' I j J&ST When traveling j iii Vei mont, if you meet a stranger, it is not safe to ask him, "whose patent churn are you selling!'', j f&L. Do but. the half j of what you can, and you will be surprised at the result of your diligence. .. "I see through it," as the washerwoman said when the bot tom oThertub fell out '! I - ' He who is learned f and does not teach is like a myrtle' in '.it', ') i . There it hangs, so iliustrative of past episodes and so descriptive of the mighty jeyolutions , of time. Had ' it the power of speech it would exclaim; '-'I have - seen' bet ter days !" ; Many years ; ago a family resided here ; happiness reigned supreme.; But alas ! pleas ure is but momentary, and - resenir bles the uncertain sunshine of an April morning; for-trouble ' is al ways lurking behind to . sooner or 1 ater exercise its terrible facilities. The picture is of a beautiful girl. The countenance expressive of the mildest disposition. , The 1 arge hazel eyes .seemJapenetrate to th e very depths of ;the soul, but a lingering, look .will unfold to the observation a troubled expression; augmented perhaps by misfortune At last there - came a death, then! another, and the parents were laid in their graves. The old place changed hands while the children wandered off to seek their fortunes in a more productive region, eve ry article of furniture, was replac ed, but when the strange posessor stood; facing the 'engraving and was about , to . remove it, a singu larly uaccountable feeling crept over him while a voice whispered, "touch it not" He turned obsti nately away with the intention of letting it remain unmolested.' Tberefore it has occupied the same position on the wall ever since it was first placed there by my fath er. And after -, almost a life of peaceful avocations abroad, I have once more returiied' to the scenes of. my childhoods joys, and stand gazing upon the ; dejected counte nance of the "old picture." "With the shock of electricity V it spreads out beforemy mental vision the reality of lifes vicissitudes. f . The house that used to be kept in such princely style how speaks forcibly of decay... But as it is almost en gulped in ruins, it posesses for me charms unknown to others. I liave reached that period in life,1 the tendency of which . is down ward. Tlie mournful sighing of the wind and the desolate aspect tell me that. I must soon embark oh a vovaere which all must make alone. I imasrine myself as stand- mg Dy tne river oi cieatn. l can hear the splash of the oar but the nanu mat piys, it ist invisioie. . '! ; ' " ' Pashicn' lTotes.' ' . ' In straw hats for laclies'the Ra bagas is the correct thing. ; Gold arrows in the; feminine ears are somethinoc hevV.I v i The newest sashes are of bro cade silk with long, fringed ends. Rubber jewelry is r becoming fashionable again.r Some, of .the new designs and patterns are very pretty. - v;. . -. All kinds and styles 'of ians are shown in the shops where fancy goods are sold, some of which are new and pretty. ; r . White chip bonnets trimmed etushi.' th black lace .and French flowers, are the handsome-1 est seen'thus far; : i v;;'-n " v Brides are , gradually coming back, to white : tulle for their wed ding dress prettier than silk and more appropriate. . : ; ,.-v i They are throwing -artificial flowers to actresses now. - This is awfully mean , because : the ; bou quet cannot be re-solid. . The beading mania continues. Every thing is beaded now, from sunshade to shoes. 1 4 The fashion is decidedly overdone. - I -C3CWlien' Jones 6 heard that there was'ii touch of malice in a certain great : author's ? smile' he said he took sugar in his. . THE OLD PICTURE. .byA silver star. THAT INSUEANCE ASEOT. "i I told him that I didn't want j any oi ms me insurance uls ot ted lue insurance, I believe I said but it don't make any differ? ence with him. He followed me down the street, smiling as good ,haturedly as if I : had promised to rememner mmmmywiii; ana ne - said: - I I xeicer iukc oui a policy iiow--terms low -Mutual j Company thirty-two dollars note at sixty (laysclass 'A' Benjamin Frank lin advised jlife insurance."; j ' 1 1 He let me alone, for a day . or two, or, rather, I" remained in the house to avoid - him; but he - was waiting on the corner to seize me, j X' repiiea that 1 aian t want any life insurance; that I wqiild'nt Have any ; that if he insured me I'd go right off and commit suicide and defraud his company ; that I carried a pistol to shoot life insur ance' agents ; but his countenance-fmind never changed in the least. There was the same plaintive appeal in his left eye, and the ; same good natured smile on his face as lie took my arm and said . j j "Rates going up big dividend to policy-holders companyj estab lished an 1840 suiplus tluee mii liphs a christain's duty to look but for his widow." ! ; - I didn't see him again for two days, and was hoping that he had been run over or had come down with the small-pox, when he sud denly called at the office. He said, he'd dropped in to see about that little insurance matter. It old him 1 tliat his grandfather was a horsc thief : that all his uncles had been hung for murder, and that all his aunts were mormons, but it didn't mbve him . . He said he had a policy with him and ; would'nt ch!arsre a cent commission to make it put, though, he knew of fellows who charged two dollars. I told hiin thatfhe might go to Texas ; that I could lick hiin in three min utes: that I'd knock j his head off if he didn't get down stairs ; but that smile was just the same as he said: : j ". f 'Took thirteen polices yesterday 4ound companybest men , in toijvn-.-ever policy holder is a stdck-holderrates as low as an v reliable company George "Wash ington was insured with;us." I. hired a 'fireman j to . waylay him, but he got away. I sent an insane man to his house and hoped hef d mangle l him, but he man gled the lunatic instead. It wasn't three days pefore he called at the house, instead of waiting to take me on the street. ' ' v - 1 1 I dragged him off the steps and jumped on him and gouged his eyL and told him that I'd be hung for his murder if I ever caught him in my street again. , He didn't even get out of patience, but mildly inquired my age, occu pation, nativity, and date of mar- f rjage, and wanted to know if my father or mother died of consurm tioh. I called for jfhe police, and kicked him again, and set the dog on him, but as he wandered off up jthe street I heard him' saying : , , 'fOfier' better rates than any reliable company mutual d i v i-dends-take no risks on old men doibg a sate .businessMichigan agents; hiring steam engines to help Write out policies." - ' ; Ii don't know what I shall do with him. 1 4 sometimes wonder if Noah allowed the life insurance agent, 1 : the ) ' book-canvasser, : the man with 1 the - patent weather strips and the boy with the hat rack to enter his Ark,andrif he did why he didn't jthrow. them overboard in the water four hun dre4 feet deep.--JG!rcAanye. ; : : ?t ... JT' Kever open the door to a little vice, lest a great one .should enter. Kcndensed Hili. Men talki about drinking rum to drown their sorrows It is cheaper and . a much surer ; cure, to drown themselves in a mill pohd. ;;v:! c ' - Temptashuns are necessary, a man kant e veh tell whether he iz honest or not, until ho - haz been tempted. A perfectly natural man izgen- ; erally a perfectly honest one. ; ; jMunny win nuy almost enny thing a man wants except virtew, helth . and kontentment, these 3' artikles ain't in the market. I Ancrer. allwuss hurts us more than it duz the thing we git mad at; . To beleaf nothing is just about azmuch an evidence ov wisdom as to believe everything. ! 1 K ext to doing a man an injury in point of meanness, iz to do him i . - i i . - ii a uenent anutnen connnuaiiv re- him of it. J When a man finds fault with himself, he expects you will kon tradikt him, not koincide with him. v.':,-V ' !";'- The man who haz the most merit iz the quickest to see it in others. - . . A good character ; is allwuss gained bi inches, but iz often lost in oho' chunk. - ' " T To be strong a man should hav a plenty of friends and a plenty of enemies, too man v friends weakons him, and too many enemies makes him a vagabond. , i V f ; -"Sometime. h:M " It is the sweet, sweet song, wr. bled to and. fro among the. to most boughs of f the. heart, ai filling the whole air with such j and gladness as the song of !bi do when the summer morni . comes out of darkness, arid dn ; born to the mountains. . Wc VC arc all our possessions iii the. which wo "call "sometime." Beautiful flowers and-sin frinir birds arc there, only our 1; mU seldom grasp the one, or our . "rs hear the other. But oh, readc, be of good cheer, "for all the good there 4 i3 a 1 golden - "sometime when the hills and valleys are all passed ; when the wear and fever, the disappointments and sorrows of lite are over then there is a place and the rest of God. r ; Oh, homestead, over whose roof falls no shadows or even clouds; and over, whose threshold the voice of sorrow is . never heard ; built iiK)u eternal hills, and stand ing with thy spires and pinnacles of celestial beauty on i higli, those who love God, shall rest under th v . shadows; where there is no more sorrow nor pain nor the sound of weeping-" sometime." Prentice. ... i Please Step r ayWhat ? "Times are hard, money scarce, business dull, and retrenchment r a duty please stop my-whiskey "0, no ; times are not hard eriour for that : But there is someth" else that costs me a large amou of money every year, which I wish to save. Please stop ; my tobacco. No, no, not these ; but I must re trench somewhere ; please stop my ribbons, jewels, ornaments, trin kets ?; Not at all ; pride must be fostered, if times are ever so hard; but I believe I can see a way to eft'ect quite a saving in " another direction, Vplease .5 stop ? my tea, coffee, and needless and unhealthy luxuriesi Xo, no, no, not those, I huist think of something else: Ah ! I have it now. flypaper cost one dollar and a half a year ! I must save that.-:- Please stop my papier ! That ' will ; carry me through the-panic easily. I be lieve in retrenchment and econo- : iiny, especialh in brains." , THE FARM. T7EELS.: .. - i " e .'ill : ; tiff-. - . 1j ... i i . US:- BY BART. poetically speaking,1 tobacco is a ded and filthy too, by the devil sowed for men' to' chew; ' it stains thl lips of the belle that dips, and spoils the nosej of -the smoking beitx. The weeds most obnoxious to Ihe farmer, however, are those noiious ones that spring spontane ouiiily from Tich soil -and cumber th(ji 'arable -. fields. These .. often groV in the richest profusion an d majy.be fitly described as most un-' iirfiialily gay. ; In tlris respect dr tlniy:' somewhat 1 resemble the moUrning weeds that fail in r .. er folds oyer the comely r of thej' Kbewitching 1 widow hat evijrnay.besaid agair v. eedsof ankiiRl, they are bu:. the frail creatures of a sumi . cr's sun. Soon they wither and with the leaves of autiimii fall 4 the earth aid pass av; Sur' is the fate, of the wi4iws;wet . To married men vvitlilirettv vivos, there, must be soitifthing dly suggestive in the id becoming, manner the young widow shionablo weeds. It he too will be thus easyTgrace : wi(li;; whie weirjs her il maAl be t'.;:it reiig; , ijercd when he is gone. If thejv is anything that can reconcile birr 3 that final parting it must uel , 3 reflection that his memoiy will rradually fade fil-st from col bir r the darkest hue to lighter ulc 3 of mourning; then melt in- flip softened shadow - of a sober .:i lfi; and i finally merge into bright and lovely tints of gay at- Tobachelors tlie contemplation f vridows weed 3 must ever be a o danpTOUs occupation. Like "Jack wit a V lantern" or "Vill o' the wispthey "ofHen liire him into mirl ground where many a poor,, wretch gets stuck fast for the rest of Jai days. When j we consider tkcyifisem ' dangers that await the victims of those who know that it is iirVain to spread the net in the sigfil W any bird7 it is impossible ibr 6to look with any degrea of cODKiiosuro. on the the subject of m frimom-. It is a risk- business ar tit best I fear it is little better, tL y a lottery, presided over by tht elde goddess of fortune. To the j 03t desemng of our sex are d o w 1 c 33 al lot t ed those women whvc . price is far above rubies ar ,-ho. are more fully described r i.o'. last chapter of Proverbs;' diining at the 10th yerse. ; rih(T3 be husbands also who are jcn. sittinjr anion erst the eld- m the crates: and doubtless rrra . bachelors are warned by, t j ' example to heed the wisdom : :';Paul. 1 f o 1 d bachelors contemplatin g matrimony would concur in my vivs . it is highly probable that j d ashing young widows would : pnoiiopolize the matrimonial i a tl re t to thcex elusion of the prim' 'lUnaids , If there be one .(hm ;or vuore dangerous than :hc)r Snares that beset the path ,vavof the unwary bachelor it is ho freet young widow smiling ' .: i::h, her tears, Tlie senior U , (Her m his advice to his soni, i l iisos in' one short sch tene.i;. wkdom than can be fouiEdiin hole pacre of Chester- 1 1 fielei ; : "B6u: veljbeyai 4. 4-J tlie vidders, Sami- . i .5. What tweeii an old moieY scariis : scarce since crows, the the T? ? "One ' rr"l)id the :.ian' who. sea3 and aftei ards planted I foot 'upon native soil, ever harv .--. ins croi r V. :
The Torchlight (Oxford, N.C.)
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May 12, 1874, edition 1
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