July 23,08
rWyffi 7 Zr
MOOT
- 1 1 11 " -. .
VOL. 22
XlfRUMB OF BREAD.
EffSct on the Tip of a Vivacious
' ' Woman's Nose.
"Isn't it terrible," said the society
mm, "what a tiny thing can prove
triVd' to poor' Slf vaunting man"
a ij; a speck almost invisible in the
k " of an athlete may disempower him
erland render him as helpless as
U ba,v. And a lost hairpin or the
fre'ikins' of a t)uctle may transform
.Keniost smartly groomed woman into
an oblcct of amusement to alTobserv-
At a dinner 1 attended not long ago
a laJy fitting: opposite me lodged In
some In.'xpialnable manner a large
-runib of bread directly on the end of
her noso without being conscious of
tho nt, !llul tnert- il remained. The
ludicrous effect was beyond the power
0f woni to describe or of human
risible t resist. She is an extremely
vlrai'ioii woman, generous with smiles
and little bows and motions of her
bead, aiki as she chatted gayly with
those about her it was Impossible for
us to restrain our unseemly mirth.
rttnrftl!y s'te thought this was caused
lx her remarks, and she continued to
toss off jests with a lightsome air. We
were all in agony, but no one sum
moned courage to tell her, each of us
preferring to leave that kindly act to
another. After a time she addressed
a remark to her husband, who sat
wxt to her and had been devoting
himself to the lady at his other side.
He turned to look at his wife, and in
aii instant a clever touch of his nap
kin removed the distorting fragment,
but I can never forget it as long as I
live." New York Tress.
THE PENGUIN.
His Solemn, Laborious Hop and His
Stone Lined Nest.
The penguin does not fly he hops,
balancing himself by his flippers, or
rudimentary wings. He is about two
feet tall, in some cases, however, reach
ing nearly four feet, and he has a sol
emn and heavy style of hop which is
immensely Tunny to look at. It is not
a bit of fun for the penguin, though,
for when the ice is rough, as it almost
always is, his webbed, clumsy feet
soon become raw and bleeding. When
ever he reaches a snow slope he drops
down and toboggans, urging himself
on with his flippers, but for the most
part he hops laboriously mile after
mile when the nesting season comes,
seeking a home that satisfies penguin
requirements.
A penguin is made of sterner stuff
than to need soft lining for a nest. A
heap of irregular stones around a de
pression scrati-hed in the ground is all
that each pair asks for. Some pen
guins are industrious and collect stones
all day. Others are lazy and steal
theirs whenever a worker's broad
Mack back is turned. It is a trifle
hard to escape with the plunder, for
a slow waddle is the best the thief can
do. But the owner cannot pursue any
faster, and the chase is very funny
to see. Sometimes the thief is over
taken, and in that case there Is a
lively fight, while a third penguin, lin
gering near, usually bears away the
coveted stone while the fight Is on.
Forward.
Knew When to Stop.
The shrewd lawyer knows when to
stop questioning, and none is more
ehrewd than the one who, conducting
a case of bribery, questioned a man
the other day who is rated high in the
business world.
"IIave you yourself ever refused a
bribe?" he asked.
"No, but"-
"That is all," said the lawyer.
At a later time he was asked why he
had dismissed the witness so soon.
"Because," he replied, "I knew by
we 'but' that he was going to tell me
j ont! had ever attempted to bribe
him."-Xew York Times.
Compensation For Injury.
Compensation for injury in the mid
dle ages was in its infancy. The vol
ume of tht; accounts of the lord high
jreasiuvr of Scotland, just published,
tells incidentally of payments made to
jutterw-s in the siege of Glasgow in
To a carter who lost his horse
; Was Paid, but $10.50 sufficed for a
J oman whoso husband was killed, a
Ke sura being given to the owners of
lWo broken drums.
. A Safe Rule.
in. a npt to Set bruised In learn
w to ride the bicycle?"
Aot u you make it a rule to stop
eu th, bicycle stopsn
vvhat do you mean?"
fcoriHi riders keep on going." Louis
,U1 Courier-Journal.
A Boomerang.
heo ii)roko him o smoking so that
,t 'ma save money."
And did he save money?"
tooa!' n KOt HO interested In saving
tnmy. at hli broke off their engage-
-ItnSf,i Umt he coull save still more."
Huston Post.
An Explanation,
uow in blazes did the compositor
ti 5?wt0 head m foreign travel let-
h. lu in words 'Foreign Drivel?'
don't know. Perhaps he read It.
$9
vewna riain Dealer.
R in
hev ?s are great Serm collectors.
Verv m ?W be OUt thorOUghJ
efy little while.
On of the Famous Old Outfielder's
Sensational Catches.
The greatest individual feat ever
performed was one by whicij Bill
Lange srtYed a game for Chicago and
$200 for himself in Washington in
1895. There is an odd story connected
with the play. Lange had missed a
train in Boston two days before, fail
ed to reach New York in time to play
there, and Anson had fined him $100.
Thereupon he missed a train to Wash
ingtonarrived on the grounds after
the teams had practiced and just in
time to play, and for that Anson fined
him another $100. The gafue that aft
ernoon went eleven innings, Chicago
scoring one run in the eleventh. There
were two men out and a runner on
the bases when "Kip" Selbach, then
'one of the hardest hitters in the busi
ness, smote the ball a terrific blow and
sent it flying over Lange's head to
ward the center field fence. The hit
seemed a sure home run, but Lange, a
man weighing 225 pounds, turned and
without looking sprinted desperately
straight out toward the fice, racing
with the flying ball. At the last in
stant, as the ball was going over his
head, Lange leaped, stuck up both
hands, turned a somersault and crash
ed against the fenceThe boards splin
tered, one entire panel crashed out
ward, and out of the wreckage crawled
Lange, holding the ball in his hand,
and the crowd went mad. Lange came
limping in, with the crowd standing on
seats shouting, and he said to Anson,
"Fines go. cap?" "Nope'," said Anson,
and the catch had saved the big fielder
$200. Hugh S. Fullerton in American
Magazine.
THE FIRST ALMANACS.
They Attempted to Foretell Men's Des
tiny From the Stars.
The almanac, properly so called in
its origin, is not merely a device for
keeping people in mind of the prog
ress of the year. It is an attempt to
show what destiny has in store for us
as indicated by the position of the
stars m any iiarticular year, and as,
according to astrological lore, the des
tinies of men are ruled by the differ
ent aspects of the planets, so also the
human body is subject to the influence
of the constellations through which
the sun appears to pass in his yearly
course. A French almanac of 1010
gives a diagram of the human body
surrounded by all the signs of the zo
diac and indicates the various organs
and members over which these signs
have power, and this for a guide pour
les saignees, or to show at what peri
od blood may be let with safety. But
the same almanac also gives directions
sensible enough for the avoidance of
the plague which would not be found
fault with by a modern fashionable
physician:
Who would keep his body in health
And resist the infection of the plague.
Let him seels joy and sadness fly,
Avoid places where infections abound
And cherish joyous company.
A few examples exist of almanacs of
this character before the invention of
printing, although none, it is believed,
earliex than the twelfth century. But
some of the earliest specimens of print
ing are black printed German sheet al
manacs, which are chiefly concerned
about blood letting. Westminster Ga
zette. Wasted Time.
Mrs. Newrich was growing accus
tomed to power. She enjoyed it and
was irritated when any one presumed
to differ from her in opinion. When
the sailing party of which she had
been a member landed on the shores
of the lake rain soaked and fright
ened, Mrs. Newrich was the only one
who cared to talk.
"It could all have been avoided if
that captain had done as I told him,"
she said between the chattering of her
teeth as the party stood huddled under
a small shelter.
"When I saw that cloud coming from
that corner of the lake I said to him,
'I think you'd better make straight for
home and not spend any more time
tacking,' but he paid no more attention
than as if I hadn't spoken!" Youth's
Companion.
He Didn't Bet.
"A man in my county," said a Kan
sas congressman, "was always anxious
to bet on his game of checkers. One
time he was about to play a game for
$10 with a fellow called Three Fin
gered .lack. Suddenly one of his
friends exclaimed:
"Don't bet. Charlie. Don't you
know that fellow wore off two fingers
playing checkers? That's why he's
called Three Fingered Jack.
"That settled it. The bet was never
made. A man who had worn off two
fingers by brushing them up and down
the checkerboard was too much for
my friend." Kansas City Journal.
A Bitter Disappointment.
"When I was in Paris," remarked
the collector of curios, "I discovered
in a bookstall a volume which I knew
at first glance to be of extraordinary
value. I could scarcely believe my
good luck. Breathless, I inquired the
price of the dealer. Just think of it! I
could have had that treasure for a
song!"
"Well, why didn't you get it?"
"Never could sing a note in my life,
cried the collector, bursting into tears.
New York Times.
OXFORD, N. C., FRIDAY AUGUST 6, 1909.
The Troubles of the Ledger.
Much as we regret to say, it will yet be nec
essary to get out two more newsless issues of
the Ledger after this. We are rushing things
all we can, the building is going up fast, and
our new linotype is being built rapidly.
One of the editors goes to New York in e
day or two to hurry up matters. Just as soon
as our landlord gives a roof over our head
and when our new machinery and equipment
comes, we will begin to give the best, newsi
est, and neatest -looking Ledger that has ever
been gotten out; it will be in the very front
rank among weeklies.
On account of the torn-up condition and the
lack of room and force reduced through sick
ness, we are not attempting to give any news
at all for this and the next two issues. Were
it not for the legal notices we would have
stopped publication for four weeks; to keep
these advertisemedts legally sound, we must
run the four pages.
All advertisements, except the legal s, are
charged ror at but half rates.
Our friends shall have but two, certainly
not more than three, poor issues; and when
we do get straight, we will more than make
up for the lost time.
Just as soon as we can get our rooms and
get our equipment, both old and new, together
we will begin a new era. We propose to have
as good a weekly as there is to be found any
where, in this or any other state.
Remember, piease, Mr. Subscriber, that we
are cramped up in a small space, with scant
protectian from the weather; part of our old
machinery even, cannot be set up for this rea
son; none of our new equipment lias come in
yet; we are short in help;we are changing from
gasoline power to electricity; much stuff is
piled up too closely together to admit of its
use; and until recently, the quarters now being
used are so open that for days at a time it was
almost impossible to work in the dust and
confusion. We are now, so to speak, house
cleaning, and preparing for the future.
Be good to us just a little while longer. You
will not regret it. THE EDITORS.
net' rroposai.
"You've he-n eourting me now for
a number r years. George." remarked
a girl fo a young man. "and I want to
make a littk- leap year proposal."
"1 I sun not in a position to m-mar-ry
just yet." stammered the youth
"but"-
"Who said anything about mar
riage?" .interrupted the girl. "1 was
going to pr- pose that you stop com
ing here and give somebody else a
chance." Philadelphia Inquirer.
Man's Superiority.
"Woman." exclaimed the suffragette,
"is the equal of man in every respect."
"Oh. I don't know." replied a man
in the audience; "it takes a rr.an co
put an angleworm on a fishhook."
Detroit Free Press.
A Subordinate Position.
"What is a speaker of a house?"
"Your, mot her is."
"And what are you?"
"I suppose I might be called the
leader of the minority." New York
Press. -
- Partly Blank.
"What sort of mind has he?"
"Well, his chain of thought has
many a missing link."
When it thunders the thief becomes
honest, Dutch Proverb. ?
"So she refused you?"
"That's the impression I received."
"Didn't she actually say no?"
"No, she didn't. AH she said was
Ha, ha, ha!'" Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sleepy 8ermon6.
"Some men preach," said Sydney
Smith, "as if they thought sin is to be
taken out of a man as Eve was taken
out of Adam, by casting him into a
profound slumber."
Wade not in unknown waters.-HQer-man
Proverb.
All About Her.
Winkle See that little woman in
black over there? I'll bet there are
more men crazy about that woman
than any woman in town. Hinkle
What makes you think so? Winkle
Well, she's the matron out at the in
sane asylum.
Without a friend the world is a
wilderness. Germ "n Proverb-
Announcement.
J take this means of announcing to
the people of Oxford and vicinity that
I will on Aug. 1st, 1909 begin the
practice of medicine. Mv office will
be in the White buildinp over the
post office. Office hours from 10 to 12
and 4 to G. Phone No. 67.
James Edward Hoboood, M. D.
The Oxford Market Now Ready
for New Tobacco,
The Oxford Tobacco Market is now
open for the sale of new tobacco, and
we propose to lead in high prices and
let other markets bring up the rear.
We propose also to leail in hiyh
prices on the Oxford Market, as we
think we are in a position to do this.
In the last, few das we havt made
the largest shipment of tobacco, prob
ably, ever made from the Oxford
market. We shipped four hundred
and ninety-four hogsheads ot tobacco
which weighed morn than one half
million pounds, this shipment made
thirty five sold car loafls.
By moving the old "weed" in such
quantities as the above shipment puts
us in fine condition to sell the new
crop. Give us a showing with your
first load of new tobacco whether
primings or stork cured.
Thanking you for all past patron
age and' favors and promising you our
very best efforts, we are
Yours for highest prices.
J. F. MEADOWS & CO.
Good Way to Do Business.
In ordering a 50c bottle of Dr.
Howard's celebrated specific for the
cure of constipation and dyspepsia at j
2"5 cents, J. G. Hali is giving one of
the greatest trade chances ever offer
ed to the people of Oxford.
If food does not digest well, if there
is gas or pain in the stomach, if the
tongue is coated and the breath bad,
if there is constipation and straining.
Dr. Howard's specific will cure you!
If it does not, you have druggist J. G.
Hall's personal guarantee to return
your money.
This remarkable remedy comes in
the form of tiny granules, and can be
carried in the vest pocket or purse. It
is very popular in New York City,
and it is not unusual to see someone
after a meal at one of the large hotels
or restaurants, take a dose of this
specific, knowing that it will prevent,
the uncomfortable feeling which fre
quently follows a hearty mal.
Dr. Howard's specific gives quick
relief and makes permanent cures of
constipation, dyspepsia and all liver
tronbles.
Well Enough.
"Didn't I tell you to let well enough
alone?" said the doctor to the conva
lescent who had disobeyed and was
suffering a relapse.
"Yes, doctor," whined the patient,
"but I wasn't well enough." Detroit
Free Press.
Passionate Fondness.
"Do. you think that most people now
adays worship money?"
"No; I won't go as far as that," an
swered the home grown philosopher,
"but I will say that the love of money
is seldom platonic." New York Journal
The Audience Moved.
He had been trying to start a re
vival fervor, but the audience was un
responsive. "O ye of flinty hearts." he
cried, "will nothing move you?" "Pass
the h&r. boss." answered the gamin,
"and we move immediately." Florida
Times-Union.
What the wind gathers tho devil
scatters. Greek Proverb.
A Hard Task.
"Do you think a woman could be a
satisfactory juror?"
"No. She'd have to agree with elev
en men, and sbe hasn't learned to
agree with one yet." Philadelphia
Ledger.
Self Denial.
Teacher What do you understand
by the words "self denial?" Pupil It
is when some one comes to borrow
money from father and he says he is
not at home. Fliegende Blatter.
Bill Was Dead Slow.
"Didn't I tell you that Bill was too
slow to live?"
"Why, what's 'e bin and done now?'
"He's gone and got run over by a
hearse!" New York Journal. j
Too Big a Price.
Does the pursuit of wealth cut the ;
American man of business off from the j
old fashioned relish of books and soci- j
ety? In other words, is he paying too
big or disproportionate a price in time ;
and strength for wealth and commer
cial prominence? My answer would ,
be "Yes" beyond question. A. Barton i
Hepburn in Century.
Easy Job.
The Boss I'd like to give you em
ployment, young man, but there is no
work to do. Tho Applicant That's
just the sort of job I'd like, sir, if the
salary were satisfactory. Cleveland
Leader.
Little minds are too much wounded
by little things; great minds see all
and are not even hurt. La Rochefoucauld.
NO. 48
THE BOTTLE CONJURER.
An Old Time Hoax That Caused a Riot
In a London Theater.
In 174S there appeared in the news
papers of London an advertisement
stating that on a ctain night a re
markablo conjurer would perform in
the Ilaymarket theater. He would, tho
advertisement ran, borrow a common
walking cane from any member of the
audience and "thereupon play the mu
ic of every instrument now in use."
It was also promised that he would
take an ordinary wine bottle, place it
on a table in the middle of the stage,
get into it "in the sight of all the
spectators" and sing while in it. In
the same issue of the newspaper was
a second advertisement announcing
the arrival of Signor Capitello Jum
pedo, "a surprising dwarf no taller
than a tobacco pipe," who engaged to
perform with and outdo the "bottle con
jurer," contorting himself in all man
ner of shapes and finally "opening his
mouth wide and jumping down his
own throat." This feat, not without
reason, Signor Jumpedo described as
the "most wonderfulest wonder of all
wonders as ever tho world wondered
at."
The night set for this dual display
of "Wonderfulest wonders" found the
theater packed from roof to pit. But
as the time passed and the curtain re
mained down catcalls and hisses be
gan to be heard. Then a man in tho
pit stood up and in a calm voice an
nounced that if double prices were
paid the conjurer would get into a
pint instead of a quart bottle. At onco
the audience realized that they were
being hoaxed. Somebody threw a
lighted candle into a box, and this was
the signal for a riot. Benches were
torn up and boxes pulled down, while
the timid rushed for the doors, with
great loss of wigs, hats, swords and
canes. Those who remained, re-enforced
by roughs from outside, com
1 letely destroyed the interior of tho
theater and finished up by dragging
the scenery into the street, where it
was burned . in a huge bonfire. Nor
was the author of this imposture ever
discovered, although it was commonly
attributed either to an actor who had
been discharged or to a mischievous
nobleman bent on winning a wager.
New York Tribune.
DISGUISES FAILED.
Experiences of Emperor Napoleon I. at
a Masked Ball.
The Emperor Napoleon I. once an
nounced to his valet that he intended
on a certain evening going to a ball at
the Italian embassy and requested
that complete costumes should be sent
in advance. The valet, Constant,
obeyed and attended his imperious mas
ter and commenced to dress him in a
manner which might, had the emperor
followed the valet's advice, have de
fied detection. Constant had some
trouble with Napoleon over one or two
minor matters, but when it came to
changing his top boots for shoes the
emperor resolutely refused.
Going into the ballroom, Napoleon at
once relapsed into his accustomed at
titude and, wishing to engage a lady
in conversation, approached her with
hi3 hands behind his back. To his
first question she prefaced her reply
with "sire." Turning away abruptly,
he went back to his room and said:
"You were right, Constant. I have
been recognized. Give me another cos
tume and shoes this time."
The valet redressed his master and
warned him to keep his hands at his
side. No sooner had he entered the
room the second time than once more
he relapsed into his natural attitude.
This time a lady addressed him, "Sire,
you are recognized." Once more the
emperor left the room in disgust.
Returning to his room, Napoleon
was disguised for the third time. His
toilet complete, he went back to the
ballroom, which he entered as if it
were a barrack room, pushing and
swaggering. He was at once detected,
and some one whispered to him.
"Your majesty is recognized." An
other disappointment and another
change, still with the same result, and
in the end the emperor left the em
bassy convinced that It was impossi
ble to conceal his identity.
The Mathematical Problem.
Little Marion was busy at her "home
work." After a great many perplexed
frowns and much nibbling at her pen
cil she looked up and said:
"The only answer I can get to this
example, is 'five and three-fourths
horses.' Do you s'poso that is right,
mamma?"
"Well, I don't know," answered her
mother cautiously. "It sounds rather
queer."
A long pause; then the small arith
metician's face lit up with a smile.
"Oh, I know," she cried; "I'll reduce
the three-fourths horses to colts!"
Woman's Home Companion.
Missed the Name.
Guest of the .Doctor's (late home
from the theater) Hurry up, old chap,
! and let me in. Absentminded Doctor
(who has forgotten all about his vis
itor) Who are you? Guest Mr. Trane.
Doctor Missed a train, have you?
Well, catch the next. London Fun.
See W. S. Gooch at Stem before
buying Cues, july 9.