OXFORD PUBLIC LEDGER, FRIDAY, JUL! 22, 1910 & s A PAIR OF BOOTS. They Figured In an Amu-sing Case of Mistaken Identity. It may be doubted if there ever oc curred a mere amusing instance of mistaken identity than that afforded by Theodore Hook, the English humor ist of his time, and it all came about through a pair of boots. Hook was traveling along the south coast of Eng land and arrived in the course of his journey at Dover. Alighting at the Ship hotel he chang ed his boots, ordered a slight dinner and went out for a stroll through the town. licturnmg nt the appointed time, he was surprised to tind the whole establishment in confusion. A crowd had collected outside the door. The master of the house was standing nt the foot of the stairs with two cau dles in his hards, and on Theodore's entrance lie waiked backward uefore him and conducted him into the prin cipal saloon, where all the waiters were standing and a magnificent re past had been provided. The wit was much amused at the dignity to which he had been promoted, but. being an easy going fellow, made no scruples and, , sitting down, did full justice to what was set before him. Next day he signified his intention of departing and ordered a coach, when, to ins as tonishment, a carriage and four drove up to convey him to his destination. He inquired with some apprehension what lie was to pay for ail this gran deur and was no less astonished than - gratified on receiving the answer, "Nothing whatever, your royal high ness." lie was never more thoroughly mystified, but the next night, on tak ing off his boots, which lie had bought ready made just before he went to Dover, he found "II. S. II. the Prince of Orange" written inside them. They had been originally made for the prince, who was then in England suing for the hard of Princess Charlotte, and notice had been given that all his expenses while in the country should be set down to the charge cf the gov ernment. Minneapolis News. K iiCCwi.i!) r (J i-in v i a ! i . . The Coup Tost Mads Persia a Finan cial Vassal of the Sear; In 1S92 the Imperial Dank of Persia, a British institution, lent the Persian government 2,500.1 KX) on the security cf the customs receipts of the gulf ports. In 1S05 Persia, finding herself again hard up. desired to borrow 0, 000,000 more from the same source and on the same ample security. But before the British bankers would grant, the additional ioan they must needs quibble and procrastinate and insist on still further conditions. Finally, how ever, 0,250,000 of Persian bonds were underwritten in London. liussia, hear ing of the affair at the eleventh hour and fifty-ninth minute, promptly offer ed Persia a much larger loan on much better terms, and she did no haggling either. Persia, finding herself in the embarrassing position of having two parties suing for her financial hand at the same time and not daring to of fend either cf them, thought to es cape from the predicament by not bor rowing at all. But so persistently and skillfully did Russia urge her suit that in 1000 Per sia timidly yielded to the ardent woo ing and acknowledged her submission by accepting from liussia a loan of 11,875,000 for seventy-five years, at the same time agreeing that all pre Tious loans should be paid off at once and no more incurred until this one was discharged without the permission of the Russian Banque Desprets de Perse. Within less than a month, therefore, 5,000.000 rubles (2,500,000) "were remitted to London to pay oa the British loan of 1802, thereby free ing Persia from any British financial control. There has been no more au dacious and successful stroke of diplo macy in modern times, for by it Persia became a financial vassal of the bear. Everybody's Magazine. Fats of tr.s Great Auk. The great auk, a northern diving bird, used to exist in the arctic regions also. Xow, this splendid bird was se riously handicapped by the fact that It laid only one egg in a season and so could not afford to be slaughtered at all. But it was hunted and shot Without discrimination. A few sur viving hundreds took refuge on a des olate rock far out to sea, but one fatal day a vessel contrived to land on this rock, and the crew shot nearly the en tire rookery. Finally nature herself rose up. There was a cataclysm, the rock sank into the sea, and that was the last of the great auk. The Gobelin Factory. The gobelin factory was founded in 1515 by Francis I., who scoured Eu rope for the artists and the makers of "beautiful things who could bring lus ter to the capital of France. Under his auspices came Leonardo da Vinci, and he it was who laid the foundations for the collections of statuary and paintings that have made Paris fa mous. The gobelin tapestry factory was among the least cf his undertak ings. K-snlnj the Zzhy. "Have you named the Laby?" asked the admiring neighbor. "Not yet." said the proud young' mother. "We're going to christen him Sunday." T'ear me! What an odd name! I'd almost as soon call him after Uobinson Crusoe's man Friday and be done with it." Chicago Tribune. Cordin'ly Invited. "Are you Hungary ?" "Yes. Siam." "Well, come along; I'll Fiji."-LIp JhX"Qtl'-3. . , ft hio "I'ssciyinw. Among the good old ways of "inerru England" is the tendency to democracy prevailing in her boys schools. Par ents can be assured, it is said, that nc pampering wit! fall to the lot of their ecus, however exalted may be their rank or great their possessions. An ".higlish paper toils the story of an eiian ofiieial : hu rami calling the house master m a iamous, public school, where a ycung prince, son of a rajah, was being educated. This o.i'c-ial brought a special message from ids master, ike rajah, to the ef fect that he wanted no favors or ex ceptional treatment of any sort ex tended to his son en account of his ex alted birth. "You may sot the mind of the rajah a l t O i.i.iL scour" , c-niti in.ii.-c master, struggiii t-miie before the the Indian oo'.ela x to Keep uacii nis dignified anxiety of r.elal. "if the authorities 1 to discriminate in the wore :::oih prince s lavoi would set th Lik-.'l g i.. ; i the beys of the school matter, right. Among - the rajah's son au- I sweis to too ame of 'Xiggor. ai 1 understand that w Irh his intimates he : as 'Coal Scuttle.'" isttt Two men Wi 'Smith were nei iiiiam .3 ones and John r r-; and deadlv en emies. They often erosieei swords m court and out of it. and Jones, being what might be called more clever than Smith, invariably got the better of the encounter. In the c ad so cowed was Smith that the slightest move on the j part of Jones made hi:8 nervous anu suspicious, ana wan t no remark, i wonder what object he has in this?" he eaiied up all Ins reserve faculties tc combat the fivsh attack which poor Jones never contemplated. One day a frier. d called on Smith and greeted him with: "Well, old man, have you heard the news';" "Xo." said Smith. ''What news?" "Jor.es is dead. lie died last night at midnight." replied the other. Smith paused, drew a hard breath, raised his baud to his forehead and thought, then blurted out: "Dead, did you say Jcnos dead? Great Leavens! I wonder what object he has in this';" Lights His Ftps in a Gale. I write as one who has smoked in hi? i , time more matches than most people, and it will be understood how I regard the bus driver s ability in lighting a pipe. - A gale may be blowing, the horses requiring special attention, his left eye engaged on the reflection of the omnibus in shop windows, a pas senger imp.iirlng who won the Derby in 1SS-1, constables issuing directions with the right arm, a fare hailing him from the pavement, and amid all those distractions he can strike one wooden match, hold it in the curve of his hand and the tobacco is well alkrht. Also while hats are biowii about tht streets in the manner of leaves in au tumn his headgear never goes from its place, rarely moves from the angle de cided on the first journey. I have al ways assumed that he takes it off at night before retiring to rest, but to part with it must mean a terrible wrench. London Express. Spontini's Decorations. Casparo Snontini, the composer, re garded himself in the light of a demi god, and when inspirations crowded upon, him he donned a wide, toga like gown of white silk with a border of gold and a fez cf white silk em broidered in gold from which a heavy tassel hung down. With great dignity he sat down before his desk, and if a. grain of dust was visible on the paper on which he penned his music he rang the bell impatiently for his servant to remove the obstacle. Snon tini owned so many medals and deco rations that they cculd no longer be accommodated on his breast. At a grand musical reunion at Halle an old musician remarked to a comrade, "See how many decorations Spontini has, while Mozart has not cue." Spou tiui, who overheard it. replied quickly, "Mozart, my dear friend, does not need them." South African Anima!. a curious looking ammal m South Africa that looks for all the world like a piece of toast with four legs, a head and a tail. It resembles a pussy cat about the forehead and ears, but Its nose is distinctly that of a rat, while its tail is not very dis similar to that of a fox. This strange animal is called the aard wolf and doubtless dwells in South Africa be cause, judged by his looks, he would not be admitted into good animal so ciety anywhere else. Why He Desired a Canncn. It is related that an Indian chief once approached General Crook and wanted to borrow a cannon. "Do you expect me to loan you a cannon with which to kill my sol diers?" the old veteran inquired. "Xo," the chief replied; "kill soldiers with a club. "Want cannon to kill cow boys." Thermometer Down. Little "Willie Say, pa, doesn't it get colder when the thermometer falls? Pa Yes, my son. Little Willie Well, ours has fallen. Pa How far? Little Willie About five feet, and when it struck the porch floor it broke. Her Prize. Daughter Did you have to fish much, mamma, before you caught papa? Mother Fish, my dear fish! I was bear hunting. London M. A. P. Josh Billings used to say that when a man begins going downhill all cre ation seems greased for the occasion, T OLD TAVER The Old Cheshire Cheese, In the Heart of London. SERVES A FAMOUS PUDDING. A Noble Pastry It Is, and It Wes Sampled by Such Svlen as Gladstone, Dickens, Thackeray, Tennyson, Trol iope and Whistler. Nearly all Americans when they go to London make it a point to visit that quaint eld tavern in the heart of the newspaper and printing business, the Oid Cheshire Cheese, to partake of its famous pi.uuieg. rets Fleet street to make rush for the pudding, and it is almost iast ho eats before leaving it. Travelers in the Sahara have seen mirages of that pudding, and during the iioer war the men shut up in Laelysmith an. I Mafeking dreamed of it at regular intervals. Precisely at 1 o'clock p. rn. Tom con veys the pudding from the first to the main hoor. it is a big pudding, and the price of it is just 2 shillings that is to say. a feed cf it is 2 shillings, as much as you plea.se, as many shares as you ask for. cut and come again, ail for 4S e Lr5 O k. f American coin. Cheap, aye. -u. how good it is! It is worth crossing the Atlantic to get a sniff of it. and the aroma lingers in the memory tor many a day. Big? The dimensions are Falstaffian. It is a round earthen vessel something more than two dozen inches deep, with a diameter of about eighteen inches. A noble pastry, my masters! When it is placed upon the service table an eiliptiea! white crust meets the hungry gaze. Tom and his myr midons take their places in front fac ing the host, who. knife and spoon in hand., poses with gentle dignity and benignant mien. It is a moment of soi ami) thought when every man hopes that his portion will be larger than his friend's and that he will be blessed with an abundance of gravy. But they ought from years of acquaintance witn tu-e ii 'st to imuerstaau tnat nis hand is as ster.dv as his judgment is impartial. " ' . . Xo more and nothing better for one than for another. lie waves his weap ons, and the hirst onslaught is made. The room is full 'of a delicious steam bearing with it the concentrated es sences of ambrosial substances. The guests sniff it up and murmur choice blessings on the cook, the original in ventor, the house and the host. It is a time when men feel good, cue to ward the ether. One smell of that pudding makes the whole world kin. This famous pudding, which has tickled the palates of thousands, is thus compounded: A crust of flcur, water and suet. Keefsteak. Sheep's kidneys. Larks. .Mushrooms (freshly gathered). Oysters. Stock. Pepioer and salt. But it is the boiling that does it. For at least twelve hours this heaven sent pudding is kept slowly simmering in an immense copper specially con structed for the purpose. It must not boil quickly, but the same tempera ture be kept up the whole period. The steak assumes a juicj- tenderness; the larks net sparrows, as some malig nant spirit lias suggested, although sparrow pudding is not to be despised are seethed to the bone, and you can chew up each little songster with out an effort; the kidneys are soft and mushy and offer no resistance to the digestive organs, and the oysters, de spite their lengthened cooking, are not leathery. The amalgamation and as similation of the variety" of constitu ents are perfect; the result is bliss. There is a story told of one eminent litterateur who had seven helpings of the pudding and still yearned for more, and there is another remarkable nar rative of four men who ordered a pud ding of the regulation size and finished it among them. 3. Pierpout Morgan praised the pud ding, and Theodore Roosevelt was de lighted with it. Lord Iieaconsfield be stowed his approbation thereon, and Gladstone thought it far superior to his famous "three courses." Dickens. Thackeray, Meredith, Swinburne, Ten nyson, Trollope, Whistler, Leightom Sala, Phil May all sorts of the best of men of their day have fed upon the pudding, and it no doubt helped to inspire their work. Apparently any cook can fashion it, mix it, fix it, boil it. Let any cook try it. Lots of cooks have tried it, but the results have not been ' satisfactory. There was a man who once ran the Old Cheshire Cheese, and in his day the pudding first achieved its great fame. When he sold the old hostelry and took a house in the financial dis trict he announced that the same pud ding the same in every respect would be served every Saturday. Many of the Cheese's old patrons came around to celebrate. There was the size, but the aroma, was wanting; there were the identical materials, but the flavor was not in them. It was not the same, not a bit of it. There was something missing. It may have been I the shades of the departed great ones of a bygone time. And so it is that today the famous dish of the Old Cheshire Cheese tastes as of old, and its devotees cannot be seduced by any designing invitation based upon "just as good" simply because there is noth ing just as good. Philadelphia Ledger. Thoughts are mightier than the .strength of hand. Sophocles. . : A OUAiN PAPERING THE HOUSE When a Weak Flay Appears In a Hvj York Theater. PROPPED BY FREE TICKETS. The Judicious Distribution of "Com -plimentaries" by the Tvlanager Se cures Well Dressed Audiences and Eaves the Appearance of a "Frost." Long before the curtain goes down at the end of a new production the manager has decided, nine times m ten, whether he has a cess vr not. Rut he (iOt's net mean : be eaughi napping in either event. If he believe-. The play is a "frost" ar even a semi vsuccess the h(u:se for the nest few lights must boar every outward evi dence of prosperity. In other word, he must "buck the line' of adverse criticism by "papering the house." For a week at least m must make a "front"" in the orchestra chairs, no matter if there is desolation in the box otlice. Let him make th- puhlie believe the ntnv pier-e has at tracted a large number f patrons for six or eigiit performances and there is a chance of enough business to prop up a forced run of a few weeks, which may help things on the road. This means that "paper or free tickets must be judiciously distributed. Every manager of a theater has a large circle of friends. This may be due partly to his possession of a genial personality, but undoubtedly the busi ness he is in has in itself an attraction for many. A majority of these people will accept passes when they are of fered; some are not above asking for them, while still others but these art rare will buy tickets when compli mentaries are not tendered. When the manager has a play that is. in danger of going to pieces for lack, of patronage he sends tickets to ah these friends of his and whenever pos sible obtains a promise that they v.i;; be used by the persons to whom m gives r hem. it is not difficult to ex tract such a p'odire. Being on term---of more or less intimacy with the ma-; ager. the favored ones know he v.; be likely to see them in the theater ' r - -1 tin. o.i v.-iln tu if ii' i 'i ets. He keeps a record of the s.t numbers opposite the names of t h who should occupy those pari! .m. chairs and can tell at once wlu-u hospitality has been abused. Another class which sees many play in w York city gratis is to be foun in department stores. Nearly eve;; director of a theatrical company a distinet from a theater manager is o: cordial terms with the heads of de partments in large retail mercantile establishments. Each of these head will accept from six to a dozen pairs of tickets occasionally to distribute among his subordinates. Often it is possible to get rid of 20b tickets or more in a day in this way, and when this is repeated in four or five stores the manage is sure of the attendance of an appreciable number of well dressed young women in the newest millinery and style of coiffure, each with a respectablj' attired cava lier and all on their best behavior. These oeonle may not be ultra fashion able, but they will not disgrace their environment. Unless the theatrical man is ac quainted with the department heads, however, it is not an easy matter to give away tickets in such an estab lishment. The average clerk in a large store, especially of the feminine gender, is suspicious. She does m a understand such open handed generosi ty, and there must be a lot of expla nation to convince her that -in offering something for nothing t he manager has not some sinister design. As for the male clerk5?, if he gives them any directly they are sure to tell every one what a pull they have with the man ager and pester him for tickets ever afterward, particularly when he has ; success, with "the free list absohm !.-- suspended." It is far less of an undertaking buy a hundred dollars' worth of low priced goods than to make a preset1 of two tickets apiece to a dozen per sons behind the counter. The tele phone girls, stenographers and mani curists look askance at free tickets from a stranger, although when their confidence is won they will generally accept them with due gratitude. Theater Magazine. PurcHe's SPanacaa. Tern Purdie, an eld manservant in Sir Walter Scott's household, used to talk of the famous "Waveriey .Novels" as "our books" and saiel that the read ing of them was the greatest comfort to him. "Whenever I am off my sleep." he confided to James Skene, the author ol "Memories of Sir Walter Scott," "I have only to take one of the novels, and before I have read two pages it is sure to set me asleep." Plenty on Hand. 'Tlave you ever wondered about your husband's past?" "Dear me, no. I have all I can do in taking care of his present and worry ing about his future." Boston Herald. Domestic Note. "I've noticed one thing." "And what is that?" "When one gets loaded it's usually his wife who explodes." Birmingham Age-Tierald. Our own anger does us more harm than the thing which makes us angry. Sir John Lubbock. She Repudiated the Charge. At the men's service in a Yorkshire parish the vicar tried to convey the lesson that the truest heroes and hero ines are those who do noble deeds in the secret corner of the home, where none can see cr applaud. "Few of you seem to think," he con cluded, "that your wives staying at home uncomplainingly to mind the children and prepare the meals are heroines, and yet their touching devo tion to duty proves them to be so." It certainly hadn't struck one old farmer in this way before, and as soon as he got home he promptly told his wife that the vicar had called her a heroine. "Whatever does that mean?" asked the good lady. "Oh, it means a woman who stays in t' house instead of goin' art to show hersen," explained the farmer vaguely. "Then I'm not a heroine, an' I'll thang f vicar to mind what he's say in'," snapped the wife. "I go to his church as much as t' other women do, an' he must be blind if he can't see me. Why, I'd five different colors in t' bonnet 1 wore last Sunday!" Lon don Spectator. The First Balloons. The chemical philosophers have dis covered a body (which I have forgot ten, but will inquire) which dissolved by an acid emits a vapor lighter than the atmospherical air. This vapor is caught, among other means, by tyin a bladder compressed upon the bottle in which the dissolution is performed. The vapor, rising, swells the bladder and fills it. The bladder is then tied and removed and another applied till as much of this light air is collected as is wanted. Then a large spherical case is made, and very large it must be, of the lightest matter that can be found, secured by some method like that of oiling silk against all passage of air. Into this are emptied a'l the bladders of light air, and if there i-; light air enough it mounts into the clouds upon the same principle as a bottle filled with waver will sink in water, but a bottle filled with ether will lioat. It rises till it comes to air of equal tenuity with its own if wln-i or water does not spoil it c:t the way. Such, madam, is an .air balloon. From Dr. Johnson's Letter, Sept. 22, 1733, to Mrs. TItrale. Beethoven's "Moonlight Ccnsta." The story runs that Beethoven's "Moonlight Soimta" always so called, though he t:o rare-y gae a desx riptive name to any cf his works was com posed on occasion when he had been playing to some stranger folk by chance. Walking with a friend, he overheard in a humble house seme one playing with much feeling a bit of oi'.e of his noun las. lie paused to listen, in a mameut the music ceased, arid a girl spoke longingly of her wi.-;h to hear some really gocd concert. The voice was so appeali that the eom- :..ut In 1 1 ;n the door and knocked. Admitted to the wondering hc.-r. he said, "I will play for you.'' and played wonder fully till the lamp burned out. Then with the moonlight filling the room he began to improvise the mysterious delicate breathings of the beginning of that wonderful sonata, then the tricksy elf-like second part, and the glory of the close. Christian Science Monitor. Long Wcrdo. While our language does not contain such long words as are found in some other tongues nor so many words of unusual lenerth. stiil we have several that are awkwardly long for convert-rational purpo'-c-s. .We have "pkilopro geaiilvenes::." with twenty letters; "in-tercoiivertibilitio-c'' with twexuy-c::e; ! i itoT'ceo ! ve'! r. : :, i-eS.' Wii .1 IV. Cm.-, two; "d:U' porLieuabloiK'ss." with twenty-three, and "1 r. : nssu! ,.:ivA hi t loy alists" and 'co:::r;:dir-tingu:eliabiihy," each containing twenty-four letters. An effective little word is "syiiaeategore niatic," as it manages to compress eight syllables into seventeen letters. The longest monosyllables contain nine letters, and there are four ex amples: -splotched," "squelched," "strengths" and stretched." Xew I York Tribune. Printers' Marks. The interrogation mark or "point (?) was originally a "q" and an "o," the latter placeel under the former. They were simply the first and last letters of the, Latin word "questio." So, too, with the sign of exclamation or interjection (!). In its original pu rity it was a combination of "1" and "o," the latter underneath, as in the question mark. The two stooel for "lo," the Latin exclamation of joy. The paragraph mark is a Greek "p," the initial of the word paragraph. The early printers employed a dagger to show that a w-ord or sentence was ob jectionable anel should be cut out. A Silent Msn. Jorkins There's rerkins you know Perkins entered into an agreement with his wife soon after their mar riage, twenty years ago, that when ever either lost temper or stormed the other was to keep silence. Bob And the scheme worked? Jerkins Admi rably. Perkins has kept silence for twenty years. Take Your Choice. From Sir John Lubbock we take this ennobling thought: "You may see in a shallow pool either the mud lying at the bottom or the image of the blue sky above." Feed Hir?i. If you want to win the gratitude ef a dog, feed him. As to men, the ma terial difference is the quality of the food, Baltimore Xe ws. A Nice Calculation. Two verj- dear old ladies walked up to the window where tickets were to De sold for two popular concerts. They wanted tickets for both nights; but, alas, those for the second evening were all gone! This was the mom popular entertainment of the two. "I'm so sorry, my dear!" pattered one of the old ladies to the other. "We did want to go, didn't we, and wo wanted to go both nights?" "You couldn't give us two tickets for each night?" inquired the other of the clerk. "No. ma'am." "You haven't two seats anywhere for the second night?" "Xo, ma'am. Couldn't give you noso room." A great resolution beamed upon her gentle face. "Then." said she finely, "give mo four tickets for the first night. Wo will make them do." "Why, six' or." eu.aveivd the oilier, "you're geir.g to invito Homebody?" "Xo." said she. -but if we can't go both nights' She paused, bewilder ed, quite cut of her ch!. uiatiou. The.i a happy thought srru her, an 1 she. added, "We"!! go t wive ike first night." Youth's Co l apn u h ::.. A VriridErir.c! Lcl.e. Lake Xor. in the Tai.i dev-ort, in. southwestern Asia, v.dd -h has been called the "wandering hike." pre.-ent a phenomenon about which contra dictory views have been o-.torlah.ed. Perhaps the Rwtdish explorer Swn Iledin has given' the most plausibie explanation touching tills phenome non. It appears, according to that explor er, that the Tarim river, entering tho lake from the west, brings down dur ing the period of high water late in summer a great quantity of salt, which has the effect of driving the lake lying on the level Hoor of the desert: toward the southeast. I'.ut tho sum mer wind, drifting the surface sand and darkening the heavens with dust, blows generally from the northeast, and it, too, tends to drive the lake be fore? it. The combined effect of tho urging by tho wind and the river ifi to force the lake southward. Yet it is thought the migration cf tho lake is not constant in direction, but it shifts back and forth intermittently, according as the circumstances change. Shs Forgot. At 0 o'clock the absentminded wo rn:;:! left home with an umbrella. At the subway station she concluded it: wouldn't rain and left the umbrell.L with the corner newsdealer. When she came back at o'clock it was raining. V.oy.i with umbrellas to re! it darted toward her when she appeared. at the head cf the subway stairs. She paid ciie boy 10 cenfs to escort her home. Then she remembered her own umbrella. Sheltered by a borrowed umbrella, .she went bavk to get It. TLo newsdealer looked, uneasy. "Just a minute," he said. "Oh, Tom, i come here!" A small boy d.-dged around the cor ner of the stand and handed over rj. dripping umbrella. The abse:itmindcil woman looked at the boy; she looked at the umbrella. She recognized both. "Idictl" she said. "I paid that bey 10 cents for taking me home with my own umbrella." Xew York Press. The; Amen of Nature. Do you ever wonder why poets ta lie so much about flowers? Did you ever hoar of a poet who did not talk about them? Don't you think a poem which, for the sake of being original, should leave them out would be like those verses where the letter a or or some other is omitted? Xo; they will bloom over and over again in poems as in the summer fields, to the end of time, always old and always now. Why should we be more s! of repeat in.;- ourselves than the spring be tired oi! blossoms cr the night of f-.tars? Loo.-; at nature. She neve r v :r -s of say ing over her fiorai paternoster. In tins crevices of cyelopean walls, in the du -t; where men lie, dust also; on tint mounds that bury huge ci , th Xemroud and the i label beep, sil'! that same sweet prayer cad 1.. oodk Lee.;. The amen of nature i ; a!vre;j :i flow er. Oliver Wc-udeil Holmes. :e first fork? The fork, a. mat ter of fact, did in t app ar e. ; a tub'.t implement until the sevemte-eiuh cen tury, though as early as the thirteenth century geld and silver ones woro made for special purposes. The ordi nary diner was only provided with a trencher, a napkin a:;d a spoon. !: knife he useel his own. wf;i'-h he car ried about, anel, worse, there was ;, second trencher, no second spoon. When the several courses came aloeg he exercised his ingenuity and mepp. 1 his trencher with Ids broad. 1.'; spoon well, we cursolver. Ik-1; postage stamps ! London Chronicle. Ccmpr.riri j N'ctcc. Mrs. Slowboy My husband's K' lag; that if it wasn't for mo I don't believe he would get up in time to go to be-. Mrs. Rounder My husband's differ ent, lie scarcely goes to bed in time, to get up. Apprccrir.te Treatment. The Thoughtful Man What wmiM you recommend as treatment for si man who is always going around with a poor mouth? The Funny Fellow Send him to a dentist. h'e Did. "Did Simkins get any damages in that assault case?" "Did he? My dear fellow, you ought to see his face." A man without patience is a lamp .without oil De Musset.