' Ss7 r rOL. I. SALISBURY. K C, THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 1888. NO; 22. 4 r Father Time. Above the world I sit and sail Moving on, moving on ; The things I pass no more avail, They bide their years, decay and fall, While I keep moving on. Down on the world I look and smile, Moving on, moving on; The scythe I bear 6mites all the while Cuts as it may for good or guile, While I keep moving on. Over the world I glance my eye, Moving on, moving on; Good doe-Is mature, the hopeful try rThc just alone shall never die, While I keep moving on. , Around the world I sit and roll, Moving on, moving on; Ripening fruits for sacred goal, Perfecting hope3 of the dying sou While Z keep moving on. Beside the world I sit and hear, Moving on, moving on; Bounds of joy or s dniss drear, Filling the spacj around the sphere. While I keep moving on. Above, around all worlds I ride, Moing on, moving on; Watching in all the swelling tide Of human love and human pride, While I keep moving on. When stars go out and worlds stand still, Alone I'm moving on; Obeying God's eternal will, I tease not when all else is still, But yet keep movins on. Mms Time rolls on, Ever on and on; Above the earth and o'er the sea, 'Mid lightning's flash, And thunder's crash, Moving toward eternity. Wm. A. Wheildoa. A Thief Among the Bees. Tho .Holden brothers, Roswell and Frank, went to California-fro'm a New England town, in IbSl, for the benefit ' of .AwaU'Va'iltli, upoa medical ad vice; and subsequently they found themselves engaged in the business of bee-keeping near Los Augeles for cir cumstances, accident rather than do sign, fir-.t led them into it. The children ha I inherited a consti tutional tendency to pulmonary dis eases, which had already begun to de velop itself ia RowlII. Indeed, he had become so far an invalid that his friends deemed it unsafe for him to set off on so long a journey alone. After many family deliberations, itt was arranged that Frank, and Ellen, their sister, should nccompnny him, and remain one winter, if not longer, injthe west. Llthcy; means were, limited, Frank and Ellen began, soon a ter arriving in California, to look about for some way to earn a living. Raswcll, too, as his health improved, wished for something to do; and at length tboy wcr?, by chance, led to buy thirteen hives of bees of a lady who herself formerly an invalid had been employing her leisure in apiculture, but now was about re turning to her home in New York. With these thirteen hives the- young Iloldens entered upon- the honey-'pro-ducing business early ia 1882. For a year they resided in the vicinity of Los Angeles, but finding that the bees, as the riunJbcr of swarms increased, were unpopular among their neighbors, they were led to move from so thickly inhab ited a district, and lived for a time near Mojavc. Thence, however, early the following spring, they again moved to a tract of unoccupied country farther back among the mountains, in a kind of long defile, or crooked valley, inclosed by a wooded range on cither, hand, but which, from the great abundance of wild flowers, affords good pasture for bees. Here they are at present dwelling, and it is from a number of letters from them to their friends at home that the present sketch i3 compiled. The weather there h so favorable and the climate so mild that bees require but little feeding with artificial sweets, though, of course, more honey can be produced for market if, at certain times of the year, the swarms are thus pro vided with food. The hires are .arranged so that drawers, or boxc, when filled with honey by the bees, can be withdrawn, nd empty ones substituted in their Swarmsfpf bees vary ia sizs and in in dustry as iioney-gathercri. Some swarms 3 produce in a year not more than twenty J pounds that can prudently be with- drawn from them; some, indeed, from ceitiin causes, will not even gather enough honey for their own support. Other, swarms produce forty or fifty pounds, and still others much more. The Holdehs have now between two and three hundred hives, having made it a rule so far to keep all tho new swarms which come out, though a few hava escaped. The care of this nu merous colony occupies all their time and attention, and they hire two Indian girls to assist them to watch tho nu merous sub-colonies which they have established in diff erent parts of the val Cjt generally within a mile of each other. For it will not do to have all these two hundred swarms, or more collected near one spot, on account of the pasture supply of flowers bciDg over fed, and the bees having to go too far. The 'whole number of swarms is di vided up into groups of ten or fifteen hives, and these are often shifted from place to place as the season passes. For moving a sub-colony to fresh pas turage, the boys have a platform set upon four wheels, and drawn by two steady mules. Then, ift.-r the bees have entered the hive at night, they are closed in, and the hives are transferred to the platform. Very carefully then, and slowly, so as not to jar the hives too much, the transportation of the colony to the distance of a mile or two is ef fected. At the time of this story, some tim3 in March or April of last year, the Iloldens had pastured out ten hives at a point higher up the valley than any they had previously occupied. In point of fact, the new pasture was in a branch of the main valley. Hither they had come up from their bee-sheds next be low, two m les distant, with a load of hives, and built a "rest" for them near two large oaks great tree3 with wide spreading branches that nearly touched the ground on tho north side of the intervale, at the foot of tne mountain. It was a favorable location, for on the south side the bees had the entire val ley, well stocked with flowers and flowering shrubs, outspread before them; and so secluded did the place seem that the young apiarists judged it entirely safe to leave the bet s to gather honey here, unguarded, for a few days at least. Having seen to it therefore, that the hives were well placed, they returned down the valley to their shanty-house, where their sister and the Indian girls looked after the few simple domestic affairs of the household. In fact, it was quite their custom thus to colonize a new pasture, and thus they had met with few losses. Honey in small quantity, had ben stolen from them on one or two occasions and once a number of deer, ia their flight across the valley, had upset three or four hives. But on this occasion they met with a mishap; for oa going to the place two or three days afterward, to see how their swarthy "Italiins". were prospering, Frank -found one hivo upsat, and another of the tea rni-ssing altogether. From the latter circumstance, as also from certain marks and traces in the grass, resembling footprints, ho at once concluded "that some thief had "jumped'' the hive. A few days before they had heard the report of a gun teveral times, faint and at a distance, and had conjectured that th?re was a hunting party, either of whites or Indians, on the other side of the mountain. "Some of them have probably been spying about and got their eyes on that row of hives," was Frank's thought. Whether tha rogues would rest con tent with the honey of one hive, or come back after more, was what no one could guess. The brothers, however, deemed it prudent to expect them again, and would have gone up and drawn the re maining hives down to camp, if the two Indian girls had not been sent down to the postoffiee a little settlement twelve milc3 away with the mules, to get the mail and a stock of groceries.. Roswell therefore proposed that, af ter supper, the' should take a little shelter tent which they had, and go up to the new rest, in order to pass the night where they could guard the hive3. For by this time tho older brother had so far recovered his health as to bo the stronger of the two. As Ellen did not like to bo left , en tirely alone she proposed to accompany them. They accordingly set off, tak ing along the tent, thrc3 blankets and a Winchester carbine. Arriving at the rest just at dusk, they pitched their little shelter tint near the trunk of one of the oaks already re ferred to, and in such a manner that the ends of the drooping branches nearly or quite concealed the te t from view. Tho night was warm and the place was quite dry. Accordingly they did not kindle a fire, but made themselves comfortable with their blankets under cover of the tent and the sheltering foli age of tho tree. They had really no serioti3 expecta tion that tho thief would come back; and after a time all three of them fell asleep, for E.len Holden had become quite accustomed to this free, out-of-door life. They slept thus for three or four hours. During tli3 early part of the night there was a moon, but lha moon set to ward midnight; the stars, however, gave some light, though everything was rather misty and dim. The now somnolent and quiet hives reposed on their rest, a few yards from thj tree and the tent. At length the sleepers were suddenly roused by a heavy thump, followed by a grating noise and a deep humming sound from the hives. They all started up and listened in tently. ' 'Something's afoul of the bees, Ros," whispered Frank. Roswell, starting up, took the Win chester and paeped out amongst the oak branches. What looked like a tall, "slouching' man was in .the very act of taking one of the hives in his arms, despite the loudly buzzing bees. As Roswell stared ia astonishment, the sturdy pilferer did actually clasp his arms about the hivo and raising it off the rest, started to walk slowly ofl with it. "It's Boms Indian, I guess, by the looks of him, " muttered RoswelL "I don't just like to fire at him; he don't seem to have any gun. But let's 'go' for him and give him a good thrashing. Frank, agreeing at once to his propo sition, snatched up two stakes which they had cut for the tent, and handing one of these to his brother, who laid down the rifb, both young men ran quickly, but . stealthily, after the heavily-loaded thief, wl o was shamb ling awkwardly oa ac oss tho open ground, beyond the rest. The grass wa3 thick and soft, and they were not long closing ia with the marauder. "You scoundrel P yelled Frank. "Lug off our honey, will you? ' and drawing off with his stake, gave the thief such a tremendous whack across the back and shoulders as t o knock him half-forward over the hive. "Take that 1" Drawiag off again, he was about to repeat the dose, and Roswell on his part was just getting in a blow, when the supposed "Indian" suddenly came round on all fours and give vent to a growl which made the whole valley re echo. It was a grizzly 1 and a3 he growled, he ros3 oa his hind legs and "lunged" at Frank. Prodigiously astonished, Frank gave a long jump backward not so far, how ever, but that one of the ugly creature-'s paws raked along his right side and sent him rolling over and over again on the ground. Roswell, too, had executed an almost equally long leap backward, and ran plump into Miss Holden who with com mendable foresight, had come quietly after her brothers, with the Winchester in her hands. "Here, quick, shoot I" she exclaimed, thrusting the loaded piece into his hajhds. Turning oa tho instant, Ros well fired one, two, three, four shots inljo the bear, now in the very act of lunging rgr.ia at Frank, and with such effect that the animal fell, roaring and whining, unable to rise for another lunge. A few more shots finished it. Frank, though considerably bruised and shaken up, was not seriously in jured. "Ellen," exclaimed Roswell, turning to his sister, when the bear had been fairly floored and Frank had picked himself up, "Ellen, you're a brick! You got round just in the nick o' time l" "Well," said she laughing, "when two fellows go after a grizzly with a couple of sticks, it's a good " plan to have a Winchester not far . behind." Youth's Companion. - Ventilation of Bedrooms. Dr. Brown-Sequar.1, who has been preaching that bad ventilation of sleep ing rooms and poor and monotonous food are tho great causes of phthisis, treated of that disease at the last meet ing of the Academy of Sciences in Paris, taking many of his examples from Eng land. Wherever population is dense, and sleeping rooms ill-aired or over crowded, consumption prevails. Dr. Bailey reported that ia the Mill-bank Prison there were, out of one hundred deaths, forty -five from this disease. According to the illustrious French doctor a room in which a consumptive person sleeps is reeking with contagious germs, if the air he exhales is not carried off. But how to get rid of it in ill-built homes or very cold weather, when it is as dangerous to open windows as to keep them shut? To meet this difficulty Dr. Brown-Sequard showed the Acad emy an apparatus of his invention. A reversed funnel, the shape of a lamp shade, is placed at the end of a tube, so arranged in its curves and angles that when it is placed beside a bed the re versed funnel will bo above the sleeper and draw up the air he breathes. The other end runs into the chimney of the room. If there is none it ii taken through "a heating apparatus to an air hole. The heat is great enough to burn the disease germs. i The Pig and the Lady. A Lady who was Passing along a Lane came upoa a Pig rolling in the Mud and called out in disgust: "Wretched Creature but what a Mis erable Life you must lead 1" "On the Contrary, no one takes more Comfort," rejoined the Porker. "But you roll in the Mud." ' 'Just like a Pig. Had Nature in tended me to boss a greenhouse, I should not be here' Moral: The above happened a hund red years ago. All the pigs of today want to be Canary Bird?. Detroit Free Press. Backing a Horse. ''Did you ever back a .horse, Darrin ger?" . " "Only once, Bromley." "Did you winfr "I lost 50. I backed him into a shop windowon Chestnut street Bos ton Budget. . "HIGHBINDERS." An Outgrowth of Chinese Life in San Francisco. Secret Societies for Purposes of Murder and Blackmail. The Highbinder societies in San Fran cisco number about fifty. They are an outgrowth of the life of the Chinese on this coast, as none of them were organ ized in China. When ih.j coolies first began to flock here in great numbers, allured by the offer of high wage3 to work on the Central Pacific Railroad, the lawless element among them saw the j. opportunity for blackmail and general cspi na ;e, and began the organ ization of th.3 societies that have proved the source of most of tha Chinese crime committed on this coast. There jwcre already in existenco then what .'were known as the Chinese Six Companies. These were societies formed for the mutual protection of members, for aid to the sick and destitute, and, most im portant of all, 'for the transfer to China of the bones of those who died. The companies represented tho two districts of China which contributed the greatest number of coolie3 to this country, and no Chinese ventured to come to this country without joining one of these com panies. The companies did much good in early days in enforcing order, and in punishing any crimes of it3 members, but of late year3 their power has been so much encroached upon by the high binders that little remains. Nearly twenty years ago the first high binder society was founded.. It was known as the Cuee Kung Tong, and it was regularly incorporated. This parent society is very wealthy. It owns a hand some brick building on Spofford alley, in the heart of Chinatown, and hero are 'the headquarters of the officers, the large meeting room, and tho Joss, be fore which all new members are initi ated and all oaths take a. O-ie enters the door, which bears plainly in English and Chinese the name of the society, and as cending a flight of stairs reaches the main audience room, where state coun cils of the society are held. This is a handsome apartment fitted up ia the celestial style, with heavy old oak ranged around the wall ; a large table stands in the centre directly under a costly lamp, while Chinese paintings and mottoes from Confucius and other moralists cover tne walls, for your high binder is nothing if not moral. Near the head of the,stair3 is an enormous boxwood tablet, let into the wall, on which are engraved th.3 name3 of ;:tli3 1,20) charter members of the fraternity, with the sum of money that each con tributed to found the institution. At whatever hour of day or night one may enter this room, ha will find in the small rear offiea . some one to inquire about his business, and to answer any questions. It seems that the Ch3e Kung Tong boast3 of over 4500 member3 ia this city alone, while throughout the United State?, South America and Cuba the roll amounts to 15,000. In all it has 390 branches scattered over this great territory, but each reports to the parent society. Every six months four "headmen" are chosen by election to conduct affairs, and under them are thirty-three "hatchet mea," or active police, who are under oath to obey im plicitly any order of the headmen. The Chee Kung Tong for many yea-s was the most influential of the highbinder so cieties, but many of its most active members have started other associations, and now the palm of supremacy in local power is disputed by the Ga Sin Sea and the Bo Sin Sea. Whatever, may have been the prin ciples upon which Chu Kung Tong was founded, it is now carried oa mainly for purposes of blackmail, like all the other highbinder organizations. Many reputable merchants have been forced to join these societies, to escapo the exactions of highbinders, but the lead ing spirits ia each are mea who recog nize no allegiance to any government, and who obey no laws but those of their own making. Over the halls of most cf these societies floats no flig but that of their order, while not even the com mand of the consul general the vir tual representative of the emperor could stay any order that had gone forth. The power of these societies, there fore, is very great, and no earthly au thority can stay their vengeance. What this vengeance means may be seen from a typical case. We will say that a Chi nese, through jealousy or other motive, kills another Chinaman, and that he and his relatives refuse to make good the loss to the dead man's kindred by a money payment Then the society to which the murdered man belongs issues an order proclaiming the murderer and putting a price on his head. Every Chi ness in tho country is warned against harboring or aiding in any way the fugitive under pain of the vengeance of the society. The proscribed man can not get any assistance, in thi3 country, and he is unable to escape, as every ave nue is closely watchad. Payment of the fine imposed, suicide, or death at the hands of the hatchet men are the only alternatives. A more perfect system of terrorizing the timid or the obstinate was never devised, and the Chinese who have escaped tho death sentence by dis guise and flight may be numbend on one's fingers. In conversation with Leo Ah Fook, who is the head man of one of tho strongest of the highbinder societies, he smilingly admitted that murder was oae of tho fine arts in which his society ex celled. He explained the method of initiation and the penalties that followed the breaking of any of the rules of tho order. The . neophyte who is to be initiated is taken before the great joss of the society, and kneals before the burning punk and incense in the sacrad bowls that adorn the altar. An attend ant, with face concealed by a hideous mask, holds a naked sword to his neck while a second presses the point of an other weapon to his neck. In this posi tion he takes the oath which binds him to obey without question any order of the society's authorized loaders, even though the order be to murder his best friend. Corporal punishment is fre quently inflicted here also, and torture is applied to extract evidence from wit nesses, precisely as it is in China today. -San Francisco Chronicle. Keeping the Oyster's Month Shut. Oysters cannot be kept without a thorough knowledge of their habits. They feed twice in a day of -twenty -foui hours and then just at that stillness preceding the turn of the tide. At eg other time, except when feeding, do they open their mouths. When taken out of the water they naturally attempt to feed at regular intervals, and as soon a3 their mouths are open the liquar is all lost, the air takes its place, and tha oyster is covered with a thick coating of slime. This is the first stage of de composition, after Avhich the oyster is of no account. Just so long a3 its mouth is shut it is fit to eat, and a means by which this can be accomplished has been the study of some enterprising men for a considerable length of time. In 1831 Mr. A. A. Freeman of Philadelphia shipped to Denver, Col,, some oysters with their mouths fastened by means of the patent wire spring Yankee clothes pin. Upon their arrival in the latter city tho oysters were opened, and were found to be ia aa excellent stale of .pres ervation. Mr. Freeman immediately set about finding some device less cumbersome than tho Yankee clothespin. Tie finally hit upon a practicable plan. When the mouth of the oystor is closed, it feeds upon the liquor ia the shell, and will keep thus for a considerable length of time. Mr. Freeman's plan is to fasten the oyster securely around the mouth with a stout wire. This is done by tho hand and a pair of pincers, and as it can bo done very rapidly, great "quanti ties arc wired every day. Mr. Free man has established at Oxford, f Talbot county, the American Patent Lock Oyster Company, with headquarters at Oxford and office at Philadelphix Al ready he has shipped car loads to De troit, San Francisco, and other cities, with satisfactory results, and some are even on the way to London. Ho is now completing arrangements to send next season shipments to Paris, Rome, and other cities, and if the attempt proves successful, the American oyster will be eaten in its natural condition and with much gusto all over the world. Balti more American. Tea Drinking: in Bnssia. In Russia tea is drunk as beer Is in Germany or wine ia France. It may be called the national beverage, and there are especial saloons or restaurants all about, both here and in St. Petersburg, for tea drinkers, both rich and poor. The truly Russian restaurant is very dif ferent from the European ones. The waiters are all attired in white from head to fuot, with a large black purse at the waist, and are always all men. There is generally a large barrel organ, which gives out the latest airs. It is wonderful how much tea a Russian will drink. The writer entered one morn ing one of these restaurant3 with a young Russian. Tea was ordered, and one glass followed another with the Russian until he had drank seven. He said he had often drank eleven, and that fifteen were not too many for an old hand. The tea h drunk alone or with lemon, and the sugar eaten from the hand. A peculiar kind of bread or roll is eaten with it. Albany Journal. ' . A Wonderful (JrapeTine. Mr. A. F. Tift, has upon his place in Key West, Fia., a wonderful grapevine covering a great trellis. This vine beara four crops every year. The grape3 grow in exceedingly compact clusters, many of them weighing as much a3 eight pounds and the vine is literally loaded with bunches. It 13 a native of the West India islands, probab!y of Jamaica. As an illustration of the dense nature of the bunches, the grapes grow so thick upoa them that the center grapes frequently cannot reach the sunlight to mature. The out side grapes can be picked off aa needed, and the mass of grapes beneath the outside layer left to ripen. Chica go Tiroes . SCIENTIFIC SCEAPS. Paper containing ligneous substances, such as straw, wood and jute, is rapidly discolored by electric light The yel lowing is due to the phenomenon of oxi dation. . -:- .. .- ' German experiments have shown that cast-iron pillars remain nearly upright and sustain their load in very hot fires, while those of wrought iron bend to such a degree as to be: valueless as sup ports. . '; , ; Tho old ilea that sufferers from heart disease should avoid physical exertion has been dispelled by Prof,. OerteL who has successfully employed regulated exercise in the treatment of some forms. In a large proportion of cases, - the nu trition of the cardiac muscle, as of the muscular systemgenerally, is thu3 im proved. After many years of experimenting, with the object of increasing the speed of vessels and lessening their draught by a change in the formation of the hull, a Pennsylvania inventor has succeeded in constructing a boat which he claim3 fulfils the desiderata so long seught, and is in entire accordance with true scieatfic theory. . . A singular freak of nature originally discovered in Western Australia is like ly to remain unexplained. It consists of "nine fine pearls adhering together in the form of a Latin cross seven in the shaft, and one on each side'of the second pearl. A suggestion is that a fragment of seaweed in the shell of the oyster formed the frame on which the cross was built. J The most convenient way to fumigate apartments where there-is diphtheria is to drop a small pinch of sulphur upon a hot stove, if there i3 one in tho room. If there i3 no stove in th3 room, a few coals oa a shovel or other convenient utensil may be carried into tho room and the sulphur dropped on tha coal3. -j A little experience soon enables anyone i to determimo how much sulphur to burn in each room. Attention has just been": called in a scientific paper to two races' of men that must soon become extinct. It is con fidently predicted that at the present rate of decrease the Maoris of New Zealand, now reduced to less than 45, 000 men, from 100, 000 in Capt. Cook's days, must have disappeared by tho year 2000. The Laplanders are esti mated not to exceed 30,000 ia numbers, and are gradually becoming fewer. Dr. T. Langdoa Djwu, iaq'uiring in to the cases of idiocy, has found that in temperance of parents is one of the most considerable factors in producing the af fection. His view is confirmed by some French and German investigators, one of whom, D, Delasiauve,'has said that in the village of Caremet, whoss riches, were ia it3 vineyards, . ten years' so briety enforced by viae disease, has a sensible effect in diminishing tho cases of idiocy. Nervou3 constitution and consumption exercise important in fluence. - A Wealthy Woman in Rags. As Roscoe Conklin, Joseph H. Choate and William M. Evarts were leaving the court house ia New York City, after a big trial tho other day they encountered a decrepit old woman ia the corridor. She grimaced and tho eminent jurists raised their hats and bowed with court ly dignity. A half-dozen big tenement houses, a bundle of government bonds and sharas In an uptown avim?8. bank represent the old woman's worldly pos sessions, and yet she can neither read, write nor cipher. She is the best-known character in the offices of the city gov ernment. When the late William M. Tweed first came into power "Aunt Sally," as she is called, used to ped dle peanuts and apples in tho various offices. By careful economy she had saved a little money. Tweed, who would do anything for any one he took adiking to, advised Sally tn nut. hnr Uif.le enTinrrj infn i "btio " a ' which he promised would turn out welL Sally made several hundred per cent, profit on her investment. In those days every politician owned a high silk umbrolla. Sally mado 5 it her business to become acquainted with every politician, lawyer and office-holder of consequence, and at stated times visited them to col lect discarded hats, umbrellas and' other articles of wearing apparel. She carries on that business to-day in con nection with her peanut and apple trade. Tho hats and umbrellas she re pairs herself, and sells them often for half their original cost. Coachmen, hack drivers and colored dudes are her be3t customers. Her income from this source alone i3 very Lig. She adds several thousand dollars yearly to her fortune. Iler age is a mystery. Some of the old- timers say 6he is over a century old, and that she 13 a witch. She dresses in rags and always pleads poverty. The records in the Register's office show that she fa worth at least a fifth of a million. Mail and Express. A Young Esrg. Batchelor B. Why, Mary, that's a very small egg! - Mary Yes, sir; but it was-only laid this morning, sir. Life " Some Days of 1 ; . Some day, some day of days, tv J t 4 : -street . . With idle, heedless f-ce, r -Unlooking for roch grace, .-, I shall behold your face I , - . Some day, soma day of days, thus we may - f meet. V " ' ; 1 ; Perchance the son may shine from skios of . . May, . . - " Or winter's icy chill , - - Touch whitely vale and hill. - " ; What matter? I shall thrill v - - Through every vein with summer on that -day. " Once more life's perfect youth will all eons , -v-back, And for a moment there v ? - s 1 shall stand fresh and fair, ' V -And drop the garment care; . , .. Once more my perfect youth shall nothing lack. . V I shut my eyes now,v thinking how't will b How, face to face, each soul Will slip its long control, t Forget the dismal dole Of dreary fate's dark, separating sea. V And glance to glance, and hand to hand f aif greeting naPU The past with all its feare, " at eg ., . y The silence and its tears, 85 Its lonely, yearning years, rJ 01 Plf y Shall vanish in the moment of tW ... i . t New Or lean' and . 4 48" . rrrrnrrn i IA M It HUMOItOUS.VWLY. sou. .t aol. In months" of sun, so lnr1. ? - iho AU 01 rain snau ue nappy. jjre "My first purchase is my"rn cobbler, who was just st'i It doesn't abbreviate a thr note to have the indorser rlake a minuto of it. z If there isiany one who should ba "rapptuGoldumber' it is the man who snores. C At midnight: Young Bore O, dar ling Miss Ada, I'd do anything for you. , Mios Ada -Rjally? Well, go home. " Customer: ' I should like to look at a .fat goose." Shop boy: "If you'll wait a minute, missus will be here directly." Nothing is more annoying to a young man who has a bunch of key3 at tho end of his watch chain, than to be a3kcd what time it is. "I'm goin' to leave, mum!'' " "What for? I am sure I have done all the work myself, in order to keep a girl.' "Well, mum, ther work's not done to suit me !" Mrs. Popinjay Now, dear, you won't ' forget, will you, that to-morrow is the twenty-filth anniverjary of our wedding day? Mr. Popinjay Dunno. Guess I'd better tie a string around my finger. Teacher "JohD, what are your boots made of?", Boy "Of leather.'5 "Whcro does the leather coma from?" "From tho hide of the ox." "What animal, therefore, supplies you with boots, and gives you meat to cat?" "My father.1 -. "George, there is a sadness and mel- ancholy in your eyes to-night, and your cheeks seem blanched." ''Yes, Naomi, lam far from being happy."- "Confide' in me, dearest. Let me share your sor row. Have tho bulletingsf this cruet" world cast a gloom over your soul?" "Well, not exactly, but ytfu see these shoes are new and they pinch like th ' deuce." Just tack thisdegend on your door For those Who're going through it, "Pie: so take this door along with you As far as you can do it." A Unique Farm. Lease. A doctor in Kent county, Delaware, leased his farm last year. An ironclad leaao was drawn up, bat at the end at tho year the tonont was unable to acttl his account. Aa attompt tr uccure. hint- -self developed to the doctor the fact thai all the goods of his tenant were covered by a chattel mortgage held by some one else, and tho doctor was "left." He again leased his farm, and here is a copy of perhaps the most unique leasa on record.. The names given aro & titious: "I, John Smith, do hereby rent mj farm, consisting of 240 acres, more or less, to Abel Youagman for tho year 1888. 1,-on my part, agree to-do the ' best I can, and I hope God Almighty will let Abel Youngman do the best he can. Distilling Gold. -It has long been known that gold u to some extent volatila at high temper atures; but it is evidently far more volatile than has hitherto been believed, Mr. Crooks mentioned incidentally at the Ia3t meeting of the CSemical So ciety that he Lad found gold to bcil violently when heated m the oxyhydro gen flaine, and, in fact, to be so volatile that there would seem to bo no doubt that it might bo distilled in an apparatus similar to that employed by Stas ia dis tilling silver. Athecajum. Choosing Live Fish For Dinner. A correspondent writing from Russia says that in the dining room of oae of the large cafes of 3Ioscow there is a pool of fresh water in which fish of various kind3 and sizes swim about. Any patron of the restaurant who may wish a course of fish for his dinner, goes to the pool, picks out the partic ular fish which strikes his fancy, and ia a jiffy the waiter has captured it with, dip net and sent it out to the chef. T f 1 4 V X 1 v' If - - m -'(1 ' iff Jj r . 9 ... T""V"" ass-

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