A farmer's kitchen of lonct ago.
With oaken rafters 'and fireplace wide,
Where three small stooklngs ot scarlot wool.
Filled to oNjrflowlng. hang side by side.
An ancient clock in the corner stands; I
There ore pewter dishes on dresser tali.
And fire-arms of the old-time wax
Are crossed together upon the wall.
A silver pathway the moonlight makes.
In slanting brightness noon the floor,
And the fitful flare of the firelight
Cast wild, weird shadows upon the door.
i .
Into tho window a rosebush peeps,
Wrapped In a mantle of fleecy snow:
And the houso-cat in a higb-backed chair,
Bleeps in the firelight's brilliant glow.
Before the stockings of scarlet wool,
With tander light In her eyes of brown.
Stands tho mother, tall, and young, and fair,
In snowy kerchief, and homespun gowa,
THE MAGIC DOLL.
i -
j Christmas -Allegory.
By Marcherlta Arllna nmm.
Y lady, the Princess
Angelina lived in
Dollytown. She was
a doll t be most
beautiful, delicious,
lovable and lovely
doll , that was ever
born. She could
close her eyes and
say "P a pa" and
"Mamma." She
could stand upon
one leg and hold her
other leg over her
should! for half an
hour. ."When a doll
-scan do this, she is a royal doll and not
a common doll. She had a marvelous
complexion, and the more you washed
it the brighter it crew. The Princess
Angelina had a beautiful wardrobe.
She had a ball dress, a dinner dress, a
slumber gown, a bicycle suit, a golf
toilet, a rainv dav costume, a bib and
tucker to make believe she was a baby,
iiow lork.
iiiii i nwvn .fmrlf i .-.and
Ataoesn uegin anywnere.
. and doesn't end anywhere. The Prin
cess Angelina was a magical doll.
When a person came to buy ber whom
she didn't like she squinted with one
eye and made the other tnrn green, so
that she looked so ugly people put her
down right away. Another time when
some one wanted to buy her whom she
didn't like, she took a hat pin out and
stuck it in the woman's thumb and the
woman got mad and went off and
didn't buy any doll at all. This is
why all the other' dolls cot sold in
Dollytown the day before Christmas
and why the Princess Angelina was
1 11 Ti . i . . .
not boiu. ii got aronna to evening
and the Princess said, "I wonder
where Pll go." Then she gave a
scream because right in front of her,
looking like a dear old grandfather,
was Santa Glaus himself. Ho bowed
very nicely, because Santa Claus is a
very polite gentleman, and said:
"Good evening, Princess; 1 called to
see if your Highness would like to
. take a walk."
The Princess smiled and said,
"Thank vou, Santa Claus, that is just
what I have been wanting to do all
day, but there was no gentleman
around I oared to walk with," and she
took Santa Claus's arm and they went
walking out of the beautiful rooms
where she had been living into the
street. . . .
To prevent anybody stealing her
beautiful dresses, and I am sorry to
say that there are bad, wicked,
naughty dolls who steal other dolls'
gloves and handkerchiefs and who tell
fibs, and do other awful things, Santa j
Claus packed all her dresses, bonnets, i
gloves, shoes, stockings, parasols,
fans, umbrellas, bibs, aprons, water- !
proofs, handkerchiefs and bracelets
into a doll trunk. He put this on his
shoulder and off they went. Tfie !
street was very crowded, but it didn't
make any difference. Sometimes i
they walked through the peonle. I
sometimes the people walked through 1
them and
sometimes they walked
HE BOWED VEBT NICELY.
through each other. At one place in
the street she walked right through
the heart of a very pretty shop girl
who had charge of rag dolls, and there
she saw beautiful pictures and statues
and jewelry and bands of musio play
ing and fountains leaping and flowers
waving and apples and pears, hanging
from the bows of the trees. They
were not exactly real things she saw;
P"
Graco Hibbard.
they were magical
sometimes more
things, which are
real than real
things. .
At another place on the street
whom should they walk through but a
cross old maid, who had charge of the
rubber dolls in Dollytown, and again
the Prinoess said "Oh," because in
the-old maid's heart there were
gloomy woods and caves, frogs, green
snakes, and horned lizards and bats,
and owls that shrieked, "tu-whit, tu
whoo!" The Princess was very glad
to get out on the other side, and then
she knew why she had always ioved
the young girl and always hated, the
cross old maid. By and by they
came to a house with big doors, and a
waiter at the door who let people in
and out, but they didn't mind him in
the least. They did not even wait
for the door to ocen. TIiat went
through the door and through the
waiter, and floated nn ntm"
w mmm 1MW
nursery, where tljere were three or
four children getting ready to go to
bed. They were all little girls, and
they had hung their stookings upon
the mantelpiece, and upon the floor
with their backs against the wall they
had put all their dolls. You see,
they thought that when Santa Claus
came he'd see all the dolls and wonld
give each one a little present. They
talked ! about it, too. The Princess
could hear them 'and s tTinm mt
they couldn't see the Princess or
Santa Claus. She looked up at her
companion and said, "Are you going
to give the dolls a present, too?" and
Santa Claus laughed a little bit
turned red as if he were blushing, and
said, "Yes, I guess I'll have to. They
are good little girls. Wouldn't you
like to stay here with them?"
The Princess thought for a moment
and answered, "No, I thank you,
Santa Claus. There are so many dolls
here their talking would prevent mv
thinking."
Santa Clans laughed again, and the
next moment thev floated through tha
wall, through many walls and stopped
in another nursery. Here there were
two little girls and their mother. One
of them had been quite naughty. The
mother said she hoped that Santa
Claus, who was a very kind man. would
forgive her. The little girl looked re
lieved and said, "If Santa Claus will
forgive me, I'll never break another
doll again!" and from the folds of her
little dress she pulled out the rem
nants of a doll which had lost one
hand, one foot, its nose and half
ear.
an
" " " ' ,-. -.7- - --- , -
. . : ji
rrhfc Princess crew Terr -indignant
mm i a. '
at the eight, and said: 1f you please,
Santa Claus, I don't like such people.
Let us go somewhere ise. oanw
Claus nodded silently, ano again iney
floated through the walls, out into the
streeV into other hP- 'It
wasn't until the hundredth call that
the Princess noticed someming.- x
was this, that whenever tne cniiareu
i
wished for something very muen snu
their mothers and fathers smiled,
Santa Clans nodded and wok some
thing out of a pocket and droppedit
in a, closet This something was like
a little cloud of smoke, such as comes
whan Vfin strike a match, but it grew
and crew and became hard and took M
the form of just what the children had
been talking about.
But the Princess was getting very
tired. They stopped finally in a little
room where there was a big bed and a
little crib. There was a sweet-faoed
woman putting a little girl to bed. The
child said her prayers, then lay down
and closed her eyes. Bne opened
them again and said softly: "Mamma,
S01I2TIME3
THEY WALKED
THE PEOPIiE.
THROUGH
do you think Santa Claus will bring
m a doll? I don't want a big one,
just a wee little one," and the mother,
who was dressed all in black, said: "I
hope so, darling." Then silence came
upon the room. The clocks tolled mid
night and the mother-fell asleep. The
Princess turned to her guide and said:
"Santa Claus, if you please, I think
I'll stay here." Santa Claus nodded,
but said not a word. Then the Prin
cess climbed into the crib, although
nh bad on her ball-room dress, her
KrortolAfn "hftrfan and her ffloves. She
r i iv. -vii j t,M..m
around the child's neck. Then she
closed her eyes and fell sound asleep.
And she was still sound asleep in
the morning, when the child awoke and
found the Princess in her arms.
r n n i iTTin 1 1 i.iim iii i hi n n. i i - -
Service ot the Holly.
A picturesque shrub, especially use
ful at this time of the year, is the holly,
with its tough and, shining spinous
leaves and its pretty little full round
berries. It is the only plant appro
priate to this happy period that re
lieves the dead green and monotonous
white of the non-flowering plants and
vines supposed to belong to Christmas
and the days that follow until Epiph
any. " -Like themistIetoe, most of the
holly exposed for sale in American
marts comes from Great Britain
although some species of the plant
grow in the Southern States. The
commercial holly, however, is cut in
Scotland and sent here in bags. It is
most valuable to work up in combina
tion with laurel, ivy and mistletoe into,
wreaths, anchors, stars and other de
signs, while for runnincr decoration
that is, long festoons and great sweeps
oi green, a lew oi tne bright red ber
ries wound in at regular intervals
heighten the effect and relieve the eye.
The favorite manner of arranging holly
for sale is to make it np into some one
of the numerous designs appropriate
to the day and the season, and thus
most of the plant offered this year is
fashioned. Holly is not so expensive
as the mistletoe and is more hardy and
lasting.
A Sare Thing.
Cooper "IVe been married twalva
years and I don't believe I ever sue
ceededin getting my wife a Christ
mas present that reallv TleaA,l v w
try s. check?"
Chicago Journal.
Lobsters cannot be persuaded to
grow up together peaceably. If a
dozen newly hatched specimens are
pus into an aquarium within
f few,
days there will be only one a large
fat and promising younster. He has
eaten all the rest
SEND THEM TO BED WITH A KISS.
Oh mothers, so weary, discouraged.
Worn out with the cares of the day. '
Ton often grow cross and impatient.
Complain oi the noise ana toe piay;
For the day brings so many vexations.
So many things olng amiss;
Bat. mothers, whr I ever may vex yon.
Bend the ohlldraato bed .with a kissl .
The dear little feet wander often,
Perhaos. from the oath way of right.
The dear little hands And new mischief
To try yon from morn till night,
But think of the desolate mothers
Who'd Kive all the world for your miss.
And, as thanks for your Infinite blessings,
sena tne cuiarea to oea wun a ussi
For some day their noise will not vex you,
The silence trill, rrart von xar more;
Ton will lonir for-., the sweet children's
For a sweet, childish face at the door;
And to press a -child's face to your bosom,
Ton'd give an tne world tor j usi inis;
For the comfort 'twill bring in sorrow,
Bend the children to bed with a kissl
r New York World.
THE .WINTER fURS.
Some Sngg-estlorMFOr Those Who Desire
toTtr,uily Clad.
If fashion JvU note of common
sense she wof 'erceive . that long
basques, Abie
woe off to the front.
are not in
1 Ytace with reason.
jsibyi'viueafla of .the 'skirt,
which cannot fini entirely abolished,
although in t1 w models they are
reduced to aV finimum, are quite
sufficient fulnelKfoT the back. ' But
sensible or not, fashion has quite
made up her mind that in the oncom
ing season there shall be depth at the
back and shallowness in front. Even
the new fur mantles are made in this
"shawl-shape" manner; much longer
behind than in' the front. Capes,
coats and bodices alike are cut away
in a graceful slope from as high as the
waist-line in front and descend ,to al
most three-quarter length behind in
'some cases, and always to a good
death. A becoming form of the new
coats is one fastening by a button
over the chest and sloped away very
gradually thence so that the basque
on the bins has a pleasant oval line.
Many of them, liowever, are reduced
to a mere tail-coit, being cut sharply
&wav riffht from1 the front and over
i the hiDS.
I If you are buying new furs by all
means nave two Kinas mixeiv ovtu
skin and Sable, of course, make
a
Derfect mixture; even
a coiiar
and
Ift-nfils. or inst a throatlet. of sable
w m
trill make a sealskin cape much more
important than without the addition
Persian lamb is excellent style mixed
either with sealskiUr with real sable.
6rwith that distant cousin of sable,
mink, which it is idle to flatter oneself
can be mistaken (fox sable by a good
judge the4 softness of the more costly
fur being quite absent from the stiff,
short-haired mink but which never
thftlftsn. beine so like in color, has
much the same smartness of effect.
Sable becomesever more and more
costly; a full-length oape of it, made
in the - popular shawl shape, and
edged rounds wilh a full flounce of fine
aealskinsJiownatfl. large iur nouse,
two years v ago, but appears to
- 1 - "
have permanently gone up far beyond
the scale that prevailed ten years ago.
Of course, fine furs are a possession
for life, and are therefore worth buy
ing; but, on the other hand, they need
to be endowed with an annuity, for it
costs more to bring them periodioallv
up to date in style than it does to buy
a very handsome new coat of any
other material. A novel feature in
the new furs is the application to
them of big fancy buttons-. : It is not
in very good 4te. The brilliant
coloring - nf ia nffn a-
w guuui
iuua. ugaiubt me sooer rienness oi
fur; nevertheless, there it isl Phila
delphia Times.
A Woman Cyclist's Wonderful Ride.
Everybody must have heard more
or less oi Mrs. Darwin Mcllrath, who
so lately landed in New York from a
xrip arouna tne world on a bicycle,
which was begun" at Chicago three
years and a half ago. Mrs. Mcllrath
is an exceedingly good looking woman,
:who seems rather slight in physique
fir such a trip as she has just com
pleted, on which she covered on her
eleven countries besides the United I
:ocaies. piignt as sue appears now,
'she weighs twenty pounds more thail
when she started on her trip, heir
weight originally being only ninety-
nve pounds.
Mrs. Mcllrath was accompanied in
her circuit of the world by her hus
band, and in manv of the districts, nl
jChina, India. Burmah and Jabah
through which they passed, they were
the only white cyclists ever seenthere,
except Lenz, the young Pittsburg man
who was murdered by the Kurds of
Armenia.
Notable pluck and fortitude were
shown throughout by Mrs. MoHrath.
When the start was made from Chi
cago she had been riding a bicycle
less than thirty-five days, and yet in
the last day's run before reaching
Denver, she covered 130 miles, the
banner run of the entire trip.
Mrs. Mcllrath says she suffered
more from seasickness while crossing
from London to New York than she
did from all the other inconveniences
of ter "P combined.
The trip has
cost these two darincr adventurer
$11,000, but they think it was well
spent. New York Mail and Express.
A NewrUoerty" Fabrle.
The production of a new "Liberty"
fabric is as notable au e rent in the
world of women as the appearance of
a new star above the horizon is to as
tronomers, and I am quite sure that
the new "Orion" satin will be hailed
with enthusiasm wherever it is seen.
In the first place, "Orion" satin, soft
and exquisite on the surface, drapes
with marvellous grace. Ladies will
also appreciate the delightfully crisp
and elastic texture of the new fabric.
wnicn not only insures that perfectly
1 5 ' . - I .
graceful dramnir which woman vlna
so highly, but also prevents that un-1
Hignuy creaung which is so ruinous
to the effectiveness of any dress, and
at the same time, in the "Orion" satin
there is no suggestion at all of the air
i
oi umpness and meagreness which ix " TinT rnffl. f j,k-- .
t.ri.1 like Mtin. Th. mteriU of I T ?JaM beulSr
Wtoiaw-WT wo i, flBSl;eBto,ler,i-I)'J
of the purest and pest, and the fabric
.
is not only new out unique.
Another charming practical advan
tage of the "Orion" satin is that the
wide range of colors in which it is
'produced makes it equally suitable for
youthful or more mature wearers.
Among them are .some periecuy rav
ishing shades of pink, from the ten-
derest to the richest rose; a range oi
exquisite greeny, from a peculiarly
delicate yellowish shade to a rich
olive of splendid lustre and depth;
pure white and delicate old ivory, the
loveliest gray blue and other exquisite
blues, yellows and golds in beautivii
gradations, . neuowopes m wuuj
variety, and a rich, soft black. Alto
gether a more beautiful ana more
adaptable fabrio I never saw. Lady!
Pictorial.
DreMlnx For At-Bome Parties. '
For at-home dancing parties young
ladies are expected to be suitably
gowned, which means in thin gowns of
organdy, net, chiffon, etc., over silk
linincrs. or light silk gowns with belts
and sash ends of velvet edged with
tiny frills" of black or white mousse
line. Silk at seventy-five cents a yard
is pretty, and would be economical, as
it wnnld answer another season for a
lining. White, pink, turquoise, light
yellow and lavender are the favorite
evening colors in the order named.
White forms a convenient dress, as
different accessories maybe used with
it and the skirt worn with odd waists.
If merely a looker-on, a light dress or
waist, made high in the neck and long-
sleeved, in silk or Chilton, or a ngnt
weight veiling trimmed with three
gored ruffles to the knees, eacn eagea
with velvet ribbon; blouse waist
finished with two ruffles around the
ow nflok and a removable yoke of
white lace over pink, or of pin tucked
taffeta, with collar, belt and sash ends
of the silk, would Ibe appropriate.
Another suitable toilette is, a black
.71 . ... j i
silk or nice white wool sKirt, wnn a
full, gathered waist of light- colored
chiffon having collar and sash of silk
or velvet. One more advanced in
years might wear a .light waist and
black silk skirt or an entire Diacx biik
costume with lace yoke or vest.
Ladies' Home Journal. '
MUl DIx Won.
In her early attempts to right the
wrongs of the insane, Dorothea Due
met only discouragement and coldness,
or indifference,, which is worse; but
she did not cease to labor, and u she
ever lost heart no one but herself
knew it. She asked for an interview
with the chairman of the moat impor
tant house committee in the North
Carolina Legislature. He declined the
intervieV under the pretext of pres
sure of business.
"Very well," wrote Miss Dix, "I
must see you. You will call on me or
I shall call on you."
The chairman then went to see Miss
Dir. He entered the room, hat in
hand, a bundle of papers under his
arm, and declined the proffered chair.
'I have called," he said. "I am in
haste. Will you make your business
known as quickly as possible?"
The lady began to speak. Elo
quently she pleaded the cause of the
insane. She spoke from a full heart
and a well-stored mind. Her listener
pqpWtfntflo
rapt attention. The interview lasted
three hours, and the chairman was
won over to the cause, and" he was
ever after a stronfr allv of Miss Dix in
her noble work. Thirty-three lunatlo
asylums in this country owe their be
frinninff tn Mio Tiv vw n
panion.
r '
A NoTeiitrooeh.
Among novel ornaments is a hrrtnnTi
in ormof a rose, the petals forme!
by loops of ribbon simulated h
monds in iw
1 vuo OBttUlK UBU1K
scarcely visible, with so much skill is
is it disguised, in this as in other or
naments, while vet it affords the mnst
perfect security to the stones. A rubv
I bfooch, with an outer circle of large
f brilliants and an inner round of fine
gold work, powdered with diamonds.
J is also very effective. Taste runs now
lo much in the direction of the antique
tbat even rings and bracelets affect the
9d styles,Jand brooches in Louis XIV,
setting are very ornate and smart.
One has scrolls of emeralds and dia
monds. An orchid in diamonds
marvellous piece of workmanship, each
is a
Some of the new rincrs are afc In m
Assyrian fashion, the stones rising
very high from the encircling gold.
Opals, pearls and turauoiies are An
popular just at present as to be almost
common.
Tbe New Staff.
The novelties in muffs this season
are more beautiful than ever, though
not designs for comfort. It is said
that some of the mufls really have no
openings for the hands, the only con
cession to convenience being in a little
pocket sewed upon the inside for the
.AAAH.'.K f XI 1 at . . . M
iwoiuuu me uanasercniei or a
tiny purse. One of the prettiest
muffs yet seen was of shiny black silk
bfdadcloth nearly half a yard long.
It was very narrow and. was almost
completely covered with a huge bow .
of white ribbon, brilliantly striped
with broad bands of crimson. The
ribbons which held it around the neck
were of red and black double-faced
satin. St Louis Bepublic. '
Gleanlnce From tne Shops.
Girls striped silk frocks with a Bash
of the same colors.
Large hats of shirred velvet and oi
chenille and felt braid. V
Girls coats having a cape in cut
work lined with a light color. .
Garnitures for evening ' dresses in
silk cord, chenille and beads.
Immense "grandmother" muffs of
long-haired furs, such as blue fox.
Half -long coats of black cloth with
a jet-embroidered velvet vest.
Swiss bodices in silk braid, net em
broidered and mouseline spangled.
Trimming satin in white embroid
ered in jet spangles, white ribbon and
black silk. '
Cloak clasps of silrer, gilt or steel
Wlin jewels, especially opals
and
""H1
Girls' poke felt hats edged with fur
and trimmed with wid .tM .
and soft quills.
island. I
SAW THE BIRTH
Cradled in the Indian Ocean and Bock4
U - Uk tn Giant CnuMwny.
The British steamer Breconabire
wWch has just arrived at Philadelphia
from Java with a cargo of sugar, brings
a remarkable tale of a phenomenon
witnessed while the vessel was but
two weeks out of port and in the
Trt of the Indian Ocean.
According to the story, which is told
in a manner so graphic nd so free
from exaggeration as to leave little
doubt regarding its genuineness, the
the Captain and crew saw thrown up
by a mighty 'upheaval of the sub
terranean strata of the ocean s bed a
curious island of basaltic formation
and which came into existence almost
in the twinkling of an eye.
- In the part of the Indian Ocean in
which the phenomenon was seenthere
have for years been manifested
phenomena suggestive of enormous
internal disturbances beyond the
solution of the average navigator.
There is a - portion of this enormous
Wlv nf water whicn conunuauj
steams with a baleful sulphur-impregnated
vapor of such intensity and
volume as to cause this part of the
ocean to be studiously avoided by all
mariners. The Breconshire, how
ever, was caught by the fringe of a
monsoon and hurried thereby far to
the southeast of the usual beaten track
pursued by the . homeward-bound
fleet. 4. ,
On September 15 there was noticed
by the man on the lookout, just after
eight bells, 4 o'clock, a cloud looming
np dirjtly ahead and presenting a
most menacing front in the pathway
of the advancing craft. As far as the
eye could see to the westward the en
tire horizon was encompassed by this
wall of steam, into which the Captain
did not care to venture until the sun
should rise in the morning and he
could count on at least fourteen hours
of daylight. The steamer, accordingly,
hove to during the few remaining hours
of the waning afternoon.
The scene at this time was inde
scribably weird. The sea, in its super
natural calm, showed a surface so un-
movable and glassy that the shadowy
ouuine ot uie vwaw wo 'j -
on its bosom by the declining sun,
which gleamed like the mouth of a
furnace directly ahead, while extend
ing around to all points of the com
pass, except to the .south, was the
mysterious wall oi vapor rising per
pendicularly from the sea.
Shortly after 10 o'clock, when the
moon had risen and shed an erratio
lustre over the deep, a tremendous
booming sound, apparently : about
three, miles to the southward, ap
prised the frightened crew that more
marvels were about to occur. . At the
same moment, borne upon the bosom
of an immense wave, the Breconshire
mounted vertically to a point at feast
twenty feet above her former posi
tion on the ocean bed and, to the
accompaniment of an immense up
heaval of water, an island appeared to
leeward where all previously had been
but the sea and sky.
The suddeness of the event almost
deprived the crew of their senses, but
they had little time to comment on the
phenomenon, being obliged to look to
the safety of the vessel. It was matiy
anxious moments before that safety
mag ogn-rpfl i u t apparently, as though
in a few moments returned to its
wonted tranquility the erstwhile loom
ing ciouas oi vapor disappeared like
magic, and the full moon shed bright
paths of silvery radiance across the
quiet bosom of the deep.
When day dawned a clear view was
afforded of the island, and its volcanic
origin was clearly established. It
consisted of vertical columns of hard
Geometrical TtoiilnA rrnUin
lkMoS
:eTJ. Birongiy ine, pictures, oi. tne
mineral arranged with wonderful
iamous want s causeway. it was
found to be only a small island, pos
sibly not more than - one-quarter of a
mile in ciroumference, and at its high
est point did not have a greater alti
tude than 100 feet. In all probability
the new island had been in formation
for many years below the surface, and
only by an upheaval of extraordinary
intensity did it emerge above the sur
face. CURIOUS FACTS.
There has never been an Irish
Pope. s
, One of the German cities boasts a
street laid withrubber.
The grave of an unmarried woman
" """ UJ rose
a Hairless adult rat, of
a brownish
color, is a marvel in a museum at Ply-
mourn, England.
At the Strozzi Palace, in Borne,
there is a .book made of marble, tha
leaves being of marvelous thinness.
In Logere, France, there are herds
of goats and cows which seldom drink.
Yet they produce the milk from which
Boquefort cheese is made.
In Chinese cities streets . are never
built straight, from a superstitious
fear that processions of evil spirits
might otherwise enter'the city and re
main. A remarkable'feature of India is the
number of its deserted capitals.
There are no less than three old Del
ias, all close to each other, and south
of the present city.
GA German trial for swindling with
forged
autographs of Martin Luther
brought out the fact that the ink used
dj turner aov years ago is so good
m copies can sim De Uken from it.
Wll . a m
xne untish Museum contains the
oldest specimen of pure glass which
bears any date. This is a little lion's
nead, naving on it the name of an
Egyptian Jung of tbe eleventh dyn
asty. It is believed in Norway that wolves
re zngntened away by telegraph
unes. un one occasion a village voted j
money ta help in the construction of a
una passing near them for this reason
alone.
A Women Who Was Heartbroken.
Savs a dealer in antiquities: 1 bad
a fat woman in here the other day.
Well, sir, she was a caution, was that !
fat woman. ' She would have the an
tique all through her house, sir, noth
ing but . the antique .for her house i
decoration. Why, sir, judging by
what that fat woman said and bought
in this shop I should judge she was
heartbroken, air, that she couldn't get j
tne snadea or ner ancestors for hex
jjarlor. windows." '
QUE BUDGET OF HUMOR.
LAUGHTER-PROVOKING STORIES FOR
- LOVERS OF FUN.
im Stair A ' TriunopH
r
Wnere Tney Went A Theory-Hope.
lossly Isy He Is Beformed Now In
cidental Boqolwwnw"
They were in the shadow grey -On
the stair
' They were all alone, but they -Didn't
care.
Now dare yoo, sir, said f he,
Eat a phllopene with me. '
U you'd make the stake a klsrf," he re
plied "I would dare." .
And they ate one, then and. there,
On the stair.
Now the Ras was burning low,
On the stair.
Thought the rascal: "There is no.
Time to spare!
Not a soul was to be seen,
8o he murmured, Phnopenor
And he won It. and ne lost it, ana ne paia
it, full and fair, '
, Vl know, for I was there!) --
On the stair.
. , The Criterion.
... i -'.
. When ThJ Went
Parson Goodman 'See here! Don't
you know where little boys go who
play football on Sunday?"
Small Boy "Yazzir; dey goes to
Tale, when dey gets big 'nought'
Puck.
A Triumph of Reason.
"Julia still loves" h'er husband mad
ly' - ; ; ).:::: ' :
"How do you know?"
"She says he can read poetry better
than any other man alive." Chicago
Beoord.. -
A Theory.
"I wonder if it is hard to write dia
lect stories?" ' -
"I shouldn't think it would be,"
"answered Miss Cayenne. ''One neednt
worry nearly so much about the gram
mar, you know." Washington Star.:
Hopelessly Lmt
Clarendon Dawdler, is the most
hopelessly lazy man I ever knew."
"Doesn't he do anything at all?"
"Do anything? He doesn't even
li! am a his
parents lor not bringing
differently." Chicago Becord.
A Labor of Lore.
vr
Tattersatl "Wot ,yer doin now,
Wraggesy?"
-Wragges "Gettin names toape
tition."
Tattersall "Wot fur?" .
Wragges "For de legislatur' ter
pass a bill fur road improvement."
Puck. 7
. Studio Felicities.
"I am half afraid they'll turn thia
down. Dobbly and Chrome are on
the hanging committee, and they both
A Strong- Minded View.
Mr. Meeke "The paper: savs tha
judge reserved his decision, f don't
see why it is judges invariably put ff
deciding a point until the next S
Mrs ,M. "Huh! Judges have a;;8a
enough to want to consult their wlve:
New York Weekly, -
' Be Is Beformed Now.
Mrs. w endo ver 'Th ey say Grai
wuungs has married a man with
past."
Mrs. Pripperson "Yes, he ran fox
offloe once. But we should be charit-1
aole. He is leading a blameless life
now." Cleveland Leader.
Incidental Requirement.
"Do you think that a peace pro
posal can be brought to success?" in
quired the Russian diplomat.
"It can," answered the English
statesman, "provided you are prepared
to back it up with guns and ammuni
tion enough. "Washington Star. .
Afraid of the Test.
Mrs. Merciless "No wonder
Miss
the
I jjonyioot refused to prosecute
I man wno stole her diamonds 1"
Mrs. Mildness "Why?"
Mrs. Merciless "He vcalled five
jewelers as expert witnesses." Jewel
ers' Weekly.
' Couldn't Fool Her.
"We must lay in an extra supply of
fnftl thia vinto. ..M V . f.. :
business man while talking to his
practical wife the other evening. 'The
corn husks are unusually thick and
that means a long, hard winter."
"Who told you?"
"The man we always buy coal from."
"I thought so. We will just give
the usual order." Detroit Free Press,
Enjoying Himself.
"How long," inquired the Eastern
potentate, "has the young man been
on the treadmill?"
"Twa ooV. n , . .
And he told me vest-r .!, -?i
having a fine time, althoual, th
ery was getting monotonous."
Two. weeks? Great Allah!
is be?" . . y
Who
"He claims to be a bicycle scorcher;
but what that may be I know not." i
Neeeeearr Precaution.
"Say. ma, can I eat this horseshoe?"
"Yes. my child, but be sure u re
move tne nails. I'm
Pindicitis." Life. .
so afraid of ap-