Newspapers / Zebulon Record (Zebulon, N.C.) / Nov. 26, 1937, edition 1 / Page 12
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|g|§ llTMtrl 9 •**■ By ggLjvMA There is nothing new under the •un, even to “problems” of «oc«- ology, finance, love and living, Wil fred J. Funk declares as he sets out to prove his assertions in His Book “So You Think It's New?” By CAROL BIRD SO YOU think the twentieth century i« “tops” in progress, do you! You have the naivete to believe that “there’s noth ing new under the sun” to show us moderns? You are due for a surprise. It’s all happened before—that is, virtually everything. For example, did you know that al most two thousand years ago “hot-dog” stands were common? . . That Nero invented the champagne cooler? . . That Rome, under the Caesars, had apartment houses twelve stories high? . . That wo men could get permanent waves and their faces lifted in all ancient Mediter ranean countries? . . That they had a depression in 333 A.D.? . . That the nudist fad is so old it wears whiskers, and no one can tell just when it began? . , That the banks closed about two thousand years ago, when Tiberius loaned five mil lions to keep them solvent? . . That inocu lation for smallpox antedates Christ? “It really w as amazing to discover that the ancients, centuries ago, discovered so many things we think are brand new today,” said Mr. Funk. “But it is under standable when you realize that there are only thirty-six dramatic situations in the entire theatre exactly thirty-six emotions. Fear, jealously, vanity, anger, passion. They were exhausted in the Garden of Eden itself by Adam and Eve. Then what happened? They all had to be repeated, over and over again. So it goes with all other things. Life is really very simple, isn’t it, after you’ve an alyzed it? “But now for looking backward a few centuries and seeing how men and women lived then. Surely they did not have our modern comforts, you say. But didn’t they! We are thousands of years behind the times; for example, when we take out our trays of ice cubes to mix some cocktails. As far back as the history of India goes, that race knew how to make it 3 own ice, with water placed in shallow vessels of porous clay. Through a pro cess of vaporization and radiation the people had all the ice they needed. “Nero, the Roman Emperor, invented the champagne cooler. He always ordered his servants to place the wine bottle in a large metal bucket containing snow, and had it served at the table in this way. “Hundreds of other details of our pres ent civilization were commonplace thou sands of years ago: Egyptians framed their pictures with glass covers over them. Asbestos threads were used by the ancients for fireproof clothing. Felt hats are too old to trace to their source. Nero wore a monocle at the games. Mos quito nets are mentioned in the Apocry pha of the Old Testament. “The ancients knew ballistics, too. A lad named Ctesibus, 2100 years ago, in vented an aparatus of cylinders where in pistons compressed the air and stretched the string of a bow that was attached to the device. The power was terrific. Bows made this way could shoot an arrow a thousand yards. A modem Colt revolver can’t do as well. Another The latest union of the States of New York and New Jersey—the new Lincoln Tunnel under the Hudson River between The World is Xot Coming to an End! Alexandrian scientist invented a machine gun, with the tension made by turning a crank, which automatical placed a series of arrows ready for continuous shooting. “This turning backward of the cen turies of time, to prove that the ancients had a civilization quite as modem and comfortable as to our own, led Mr. Funk right into the bathroom. “The resemblance between the old and new carries on even into plumbing fix tures and bathroom equipment,” he said. “The oldest bathtub is so old that Helen of Troy may have bathed in it. It is a photographic reproduction of one of our own. And the first ‘modern’ swiming pool, for public use, has been found in the ruins of the City of Kish, in Sumeria, too old to date. It was equipped with an entirely up-to-date circulating system. In the Island of Thera, in Greece, half a thousand years before Christ, there were marble basin for washing the hands, supplied with running water. “IN EGYPTIAN Abusir, which flour ished 4500 years ago, limestone sinks are found, built into walls and finished with metal trim. The faucets turned on and off like our own, and there were plugs, with a ring in the top, connected to a bronze chain, fastened to each sink, like our own stoppers today. “Even crime today presents an old face to the world. They used to take a man ‘for a ride’ in the olden days or, rather for a walk, pushing him off some high cliff on a dark night. Kidnapping is nothing new. Julius Caesar was snatched at the age of 25 and held for $40,000 ransom. “As for elevators, Nero had one that operated to a height of 120 feet; and a, self-playing organ, too, run by com pressed air. ‘Movies’ new? Not at all. NEWEST UNDER-RIVER CROSSING OF HUDSON TO BE READY FOR TRAFFIC DECEMBER 22 ip Architect'* drawing of the Vcw York approach to note Lincoln Tunnel. tiS? —*"""" ■ 11 — 1 —" ■■ ■ -■-■ - - v :'{^K3£x£:£ i West 38th Street, Manhattan, and Wee hawken, N. J.—will be celebrated on Tuesday, December 21. The President of the United States has been invited to attend and there will be colorful exercises on both the New York and New Jersey plazas. At 4 A.M. on Wednesday, December 22, the facility will be opened for toll paying vehicular traffic. The Port of New York Authority, which planned and constructed the Lin coln Tunnel, as well as many other inter state facilities, will operate the new under-water crossing. Frank C. Fergu son, the chairman of the Port Authority, recently announced the early completion of the work. Mr. Ferguson pointed out that the Lincoln Tunnel, when carried to its ul timate stage of completion, will be espe cially notable for the handling of traffic approaching and leaving the tunnel. In sofar as the tube itself was concerned, he They had them in Greece, many years ago. Pictures were painted on pillars in progressive fashion, the people rode by them on horseback and thus got the effect of motion. Then a series of pic tures in spiral sequence were placed on a single revolving pillar, spun by a rope. The first cinema!” GENTLEMEN preferred blondes in the long-gone ages, just as they do today and will tomorrow. When Elizabeth was Queen of England, in the golden era of William Shakespeare, girls decided to bleach their hair. There weren’t enough blonde wigs to go around. Daughters of the poor, with fair hair, were dragged into alleys and their locks shorn off. “Shopgirls of seventeenth-century Eng land wore silk stockings, though they cost three weeks’ wages,” continued Mr. Funk. “And men, in second-century Rome, were complaining about their wo men being laden with jewelry and car rying on over lapdogs, just as many husbands fuss over the same things today. • “Funny money was known more than 2000 years gao. Inflation was an evil of 415 B. C. There was unemployment, and metal and bone tickets were issued to those in the bread lines. “Noise? The Roman poet Juvenal was complaining hundreds of years ago that he couldn’t sleep nights for the racket in the streets. On ancient’s Rome’s Via Lata, which means the ‘Way Broad,’ like our Broadway, there were fire traps twelve stories high, built around a cen tral court. On the corner is an apart ment hotel. But the bills presented were different from ours: 1 cent for a pint of wine with bread, 2 cents for hay for the mule! There were houses of concrete and stucco, w r ith red tile roofs. “AS FOR taxes, the sales taxes and the declared that it was closely patterned after the Holland Tunnel. “In its initial stage of operation,” Mr. Ferguson said, “the Lincoln Tunnel will consist of a single tube through which traffic will pass in two directions. This feature of operation will be a novelty, as motorists in the Metropolitan District have been educated to the twin tube operation of the Holland Tunnel. “The single tube of the Lincoln Tunnel, however, will be more commodious than either of the tubes of the Holland Tunnel. The fact that all other vehicular tunnels in the world are operated as single two way tubes, is an assurance that users of the Lincoln Tunnel will quickly adapt themselves to it. In little more than three years, we shall have both tubes of the Lincoln Tunnel and the approaches com pleted.” Assistance was given by the Federal Emergency Administration of Public- Works to the project, both in making I>ui You Know — That Nero had tin elevator 120 feet high, and a self-playing organ? That Rome had speakeasies , with peepholes, cut liquor, boot leg gers, hijackers and rum runners? That seventeenth - century Britain had bathtub gin and bootleg drugstores? That Heron, of first century Alex andria invented the steam tur bine engine? That imitation fieurls and other types of imitation jewelry were marie before Christ? That there were factories for glass eyes and false teeth in Egypt 400 years ago? That Casesarian opera! ions were performed 2000 years before Julius Caesar was born? That unemployment, breadlines, doles, depressions and inflations are as old as written history? That 5000 years ago the Min onus had hot and cold running water in their houses? That penny-in-the-slot machines are old stuff? That taximeters were used 2000 years ago? manufacturers’ tax that we kick about so much were put into effect by the pha raohs of Egypt in the third century B. C. They even had speakeasies, though they didn’t call them that, in Rome 35 B. C., just about 2000 years ago. Caius Julius Caesar was dictator and the tav erns had to observe a strict curfew deadline. When they locked up after dusk thirsty lads weaved their way to base ments in apartment houses where, through a peephole, they gave the magic word to ‘Tony.’ The counterfeit drinks were called ‘Mad Dog,’ ‘Angel Food,’ ‘Dragon’s Milk,’ just as we nicknamed our bootleg poison. “Don’t forget! It’s all happened before —so don’t be downhearted! The world isn’t coming to an end.” HON. FRANK C. FERGUSON Chairman of the tort of /Vew York Authority possible the start of construction on the nrst tube, and more recently, aiding in the construction of the twin tube. The bulk of the cost is covered by the issuance of bonds of the Port of New York Au tnority, which is a governmental agency of the States of New York and New •I ersev
Zebulon Record (Zebulon, N.C.)
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Nov. 26, 1937, edition 1
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