Newspapers / Zebulon Record (Zebulon, N.C.) / Nov. 26, 1937, edition 1 / Page 9
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ABOUT BHS By Parkyakarkus The Misspelled Life and Unhappy Times of a Man Who Exists Only Before Those Mikes and Cameras At the right you have Parkyakarkus doing his act in the films. He also appears on the Tuesday night CBS Al Jolson program from Hollywood. THE edditor of this papper wrot me a lather an ask me toe writing a peece for him He sad in his lathei "Hey, wood you pliss writing a piece for my pap per?’ "What shall write?” I ansered with a tinkle in my good eye. “Enny thmg he showted with a razz in his throat ‘Oil rite,” * sneered *1 can give you the choic of *wo sobjects. First I can write about why 1 love birds and flowers; second, 1 can give you the story of my life ' Two days later I got a telegream from him It saia, ‘1 will take your life.” So. nere it is an iffen yoi don like it blam him. not me be cause I have some dandy stuff to tell about i : rds and bees and flowers, which ain’t my fait iffen r.e don wan me to write about them, etc. Well, here goes with the story of my life Nomber One((11) —1 wass born in a hospital in Greece. Why I was in the hospital i newer coold figger up becuz 1 was feel in fine, out 1 cam from rich peepui and they didn care how they waste money. When was three days old I fell in lov with a nurse and two days later we was .arried Wot a cel bration was in that town! We had sich a good tim at my wedding I coodnt go tr work the next day A week later we A comedian is born. Eddie Cantor heard Parkyakarkus (right) on a Boston station, gave him a nationwide audience in 1933. Jimmy Wellington (left) was present. f . Cv *% „ y %'g >- 4 ‘X ,*** ” ' ' ; ‘ - ; ' ?s - J - ,v > p| HHHh fIL Vm i mSmSm AIRB m f* ■k M psßp gfe. «| / ~ H 1 PIC was divorced. Thass the tromble with early marriages—no good That was my first mistake. Evrything was piches and crim until eight weeks later when 1 packed up my rubber pants and bottle and left home I was three monts old at the time an I ran away on a whale ship. Blieve me l was homsick And seasick, too. Mostly seasick. I guess, becaus if you are just homsick then it don mak no differenc i: you eat, but if you seasick -gee whiz! etc N OTHING happened for m years after that Then one day 1 decide it wass time to eat again, so imagin my ombarrassment when I stuck Greek dialect ’omediun. Bom May 6, 1904. son of a Boston importer Bight name, Harry Ein stein Amateur child actor and class orator in grammar school First professional entertainment venture was on radio; went on air . while advertising manager for a fur niture company in March, 1933, then quit advertising for a featured spot on Eddie Cantor's radio show. Came to Hollywood with Cantor. Facts about Parkyakarkus my hand in my pocket and didn find no money ($00.00) and no cents "Gee,” 1 said to myself, an 1 was so tired from saying “Gee” that I hac to lay down and take a rest. No sooner what I laid down, I started to slip. As soon what 1 started to slip 1 jumped up and saw what I was slipping on—it was a banana peel and thass how 1 got one of my gratest idees. That gav me the idee for television And here is how that banana peel gav me the idee for television. 1 said to myself, “Gee, u we only had a thing lik television then I wood be home now, lissening to it, an I woodent be out here in the street to slip on banana peels. Three days later my invention was stolen, etc. First screen appearance in “Roman Scandals." Recent and current pic tures, “New Faces” and "The Life of the Party." Next picture. “An Apple a Day ” Played football in high school; now plays golf. Is s' feet tall, weighs 199 pounds Married recently to Thelma Leeds, former stage and night club singer Both are under contract to RKO- Radio. They have just bought a large home in Beverly Hills What to do? What to do? What to do? Vo do de odo. So 1 sad to myself, “Gee, you got to make a living.” So I was walking down the strit and I seen a soxophone in a window in a store, an I said, “Hey, mister, if you giv me this soxophone then I will shovel the snow and chop the ice away from the sidwalk in front of your store. As this was in July an there was no ice or snow the fella says I must be crazy, hot I wassent so crazy becoz if there was rilly ice and snow there then I would really have to do it. so he thought I wa# crazy so nc said. “Well, I will giv >u the soxophon-* and you can com back here for the next 10 winters and shovel away the ice and how prowd I was with that soxophone slung over my shoulder as I went down the strit swinging that soxophone. and that’s how swing music was born etc W ELL. nothing hap pened for 30 more yirs an now I find myself writing a piece for tl>s oapper and still nothing is happening so i think I'll quit now oecoz 1 just happen to remind myself that I havent eaten yet and it will be 38 yirs this Decoration Day, and blieve me, that’s a long time to go without food, and now I think i will go out and jet a sandwitoh or do you think 1 am making a pig out of myself etc Goomhve
Zebulon Record (Zebulon, N.C.)
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Nov. 26, 1937, edition 1
9
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