Carl Bjork's Tips
By Carl E. Bjork
There did dwell by me in The
Valley one Good Character who
had become by virtue of his Check
Book an Expert Joiner.
For it was noised abroad that he
did belong to many Ancient Ord
ers, in so much that his Wife
knoweth not from One Day to An
other whether .he were Exalted or
And he cometh by The House on
a Certain Day, and he did shine as
brignt.y a i_.eam, ana tie
saith to me, Occabot, 1 am now
in line for congratulations!
And how is this, 1 inquireth.
East Night 1 did become a Mem
ber of tne Oldest Order in The
World, Tne aaluoi.ous Sons of
Indeed, I saith to him, have my
congratulations, but I fear that
you are not in The Oldest Order
And he looketh surprised, and
he did cnuckie down deep, and he
saith, Thou art a Great Joker, my
Neighbor, out thy mirth should
not hide thy ignorance. The Sciva
cats are not oiuer than The Sah-r
I know little of The Scivicats,
whether they oe order than the
Pqssycats or the Leancats, But I
knoweth ol an Ancient Order more
ancient than The Saharatans, of
which thou has not joined as yet.
And he was puzzled.
But fear not, I continued, in a
Few Days thou shalt be in it, and
the Fee s but One Dollar.
Thou jpeakest in Riddles now;
come, tell me what this Ancient
Order can be, and explain thy Odd
Conduct and Nutty Speech.
And I did take this Good Char
acter by the Arm, and we walk
eth toward his House.
A id we arriveth by His Car.
Enter into thy Chariot, and step
on The Brake, I saith to this Puz
And he did what I commanded
him, and he steppeth up on The
Brake Pedal until I hailed him
out from his Old Tub.
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Why such tomfoolery, he asketh,
with that Car of mine?
And with much seriousness did
I place My Hand upon his Should-
I er, and I saith unto this Good
i Character, In a Few Days thou
must hie to The Inspection Lane,
and The Grand Keeper of The
Records will ask of thee One Dol
lar for the Privilege of going
through The Great Driveway. By
1 and by, one of The Sharp Watch
i ers of The Lights will ask thee
to it ash down on The Brake, and
he w.il note that The Stop Light
■un ,t glow at your pressing.
Ana when thou art through pro
mena ing down The Long Gaso-
Lne .tow, The High and Mighty
Keeper of The Last Gate will give
t.;ee a Fancy Card upon which
will oe noted that thou didst al
most get the Car inspected.
. ...d I pauseth a moment, and he
V, all, at that Moment thou hast
became a Member of The Ancient
and Rooty-tooty Order of Almost.
Thou didst Almost make the
.Ynd this Joiner hearkened f ar
Now friend, this order began
with Adam, for he Almost stayed
in The Garden, but he failed the
Grade One Day by reason of a Big
Appetite and Longing Eye.
And since then many have
joined Father Adam. Some men
are Almost Doctors, Almost Law
yers, Almost Preachers, Almost
Editors, Almost Anything. They
did wish to be Somebody but nev
er prepared for such, and Zebulon
Dr. L. M. Massey
Office Phone 4281
Office over Zebulon Drug Store
Dr. J. F. Coltrane
Office Phone 4961
Office Hours: 9-12:30 a.m.
The Zebulon Record
teemeth with many who started
out but did not get there. And
when thou dost start for That
Lane, better it is to be ready than
1 to join The Ancient Order of Al
And my* Neighbor scratcheth his
Bald Head, and shaketh His Sides
by reason of a Big Laugh, and he
saith as if he meaneth it, That is
One Order that I refuse to join
and I want you to congratulate me
when I see thee next time for not
getting into such.
And I returneth to The House,
and he to his.
Mr. J. R. Brantley of Middlesex,
Route 2, was honored with a birth
day dinner early this week. The
dinner consisted of barbecue,
brunswick stew, cokes and pie. It
was enjoyed by everyone present.
Attending the occasion were:
Mrs. Randolph Brantley and fam
ily; Mr. and Mrs. S. V. Stallings;
Mr. and Mrs. Clifford Brantley,
E. C., Jr., Carol Faye, Dale and
Phillip; Mr. and Mrs. Harold Mas
sey; Mr. and Mrs. Willie L. Bul
luck, Gilbert, Edwin, Joel, and
Gloria; Mr. and Mrs. Vester Mas
sey and Dennis; Mr. and Mrs. Ru
dolpn Brantley and Rudy;
Mrs. Rella Driver, Agnes and
Darnell Trevathan, Mr. and Mrs.
Herbert Puckett and Linda, Mrs.
Ava Laspina, Anthony and Phyl
lis, Mr. and Mrs. Woodrow Driver,
David, Faye and Barbara Jean,
and Mr. and Mrs. Paul H. Massey
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Friday, October 8, 1948